Yama (The Pit) Part 26

"It's the truth you're telling, Jennka! I had a certain old b.u.g.g.e.r, too. He made me pretend all the time that I was an innocent girl, so's I'd cry and scream. But, Jennechka, though you're the smartest one of us, yet I'll bet you won't guess who he was ..."

"The warden of a prison?"

"A fire chief."

Suddenly Katie burst into laughter in her ba.s.s:

"Well, now, I had a certain teacher. He taught some kind of arithmetic, I disremember which. He always made me believe, that I was the man, and he the woman, and that I should do it to him ... by force ... And what a fool! Just imagine, girls, he'd yell all the time: 'I'm your woman!

I'm all yours! Take me! Take me!'"

"Loony!" said the blue-eyed, spry Verka in a positive and unexpectedly contralto voice: "Loony."

"No, why?" suddenly retorted the kindly and modest Tamara. "Not crazy at all, but simply, like all men, a libertine. At home it's tiresome for him, while here for his money he can receive whatever pleasure he desires. That's plain, it seems?"

Jennka, who had been silent up to now, suddenly, with one quick movement sat up in bed.

"You're all fools!" she cried. "Why do you forgive them all this?

Before I used to be foolish myself, too, but now I compel them to walk before me on all fours, compel them to kiss my soles, and they do this with delight ... You all know, girlies, that I don't love money, but I pluck the men in whatever way I can. They, the nasty beasts, present me with the portraits of their wives, brides, mothers, daughters ...

However, you've seen, I think, the photographs in our water-closet? But now, just think of it, my children ... A woman loves only once, but for always, while a man loves like a he-greyhound... That he's unfaithful is nothing; but he never has even the commonest feeling of grat.i.tude left either for the old, or the new, mistress. I've heard it said, that now there are many clean boys among the young people. I believe this, though I haven't seen, haven't met them, myself. But all those I have seen are all vagabonds, nasty brutes and skunks. Not so long ago I read some novel of our miserable life. It's almost the same thing as I'm telling you now."

Vanda came back. She slowly, carefully, sat down on the edge of Jennka's bed; there, where the shadow of the lamp fell. Out of that deep, though deformed psychical delicacy, which is peculiar to people sentenced to death, prisoners at hard labour, and prost.i.tutes, none had the courage to ask her how she had pa.s.sed this hour and a half.

Suddenly she threw upon the table twenty-five roubles and said:

"Bring me white wine and a watermelon."

And, burying her face in her arms, which had sunk on the table, she began to sob inaudibly. And again no one took the liberty of putting any question to her. Only Jennka grew pale from wrath and bit her lower lip so that a row of white spots was left upon it.

"Yes," she said; "here, now, I understand Tamara. You hear, Tamara, I apologize before you. I've often laughed over your being in love with your thief Senka. But here, now, I'll say that of all the men the most decent is a thief or a murderer. He doesn't hide the fact that he loves a girlie, and, if need be, will commit a crime for her--a theft or a murder. But these--the rest of them! All lying, falsehood, petty cunning, depravity on the sly. The nasty beast has three families, a wife and five children. A governess and two children abroad. The eldest daughter from the first marriage, and a child by her. And this everybody, everybody in town knows, save his little children. And even they, perhaps, guess it and whisper among themselves. And, just imagine, he's a respected person, honoured by the whole world ... My children, it seems we've never had occasion to enter into confidences with each other, and yet I'll tell you, that I when I was ten and a half, was sold by my own mother in the city of Zhitomir to Doctor Tarabukin. I kissed his hands, implored him to spare me, I cried out to him: 'I'm little!' But he'd answer me: 'That's nothing, that's nothing: you'll grow up.' Well, of course, there was pain, aversion, nastiness ... And he afterwards spread it around as a current anecdote. The desperate cry of my soul."

"Well, as long as we do speak, let's speak to the end," suddenly and calmly said Zoe, and smiled negligently and sadly. "I was deprived of innocence by a teacher in the ministerial school, Ivan Petrovich Sus.

He simply called me over to his rooms, and his wife at that time had gone to market for a suckling pig--it was Christmas. Treated me with candies, and then said it was going to be one of two things: either I must obey him in everything, or he'd at once expel me out of school for bad conduct. But then you know yourselves, girls, how we feared the teachers. Here they aren't terrible to us, because we do with them whatever we want--but at that time! For then he seemed to us greater than Czar and G.o.d."

"And me a stewdent. He was teaching the master's boys in our place.

There, where I was a servant ..."

"No, but I ..." exclaimed Niura, but, turning around unexpectedly, remained as she was with her mouth open. Looking in the direction of her gaze, Jennka had to wring her hands. In the doorway stood Liubka, grown thin, with dark rings under her eyes, and, just like a somnambulist, was searching with her hand for the door-k.n.o.b, as a point of support.

"Liubka, you fool, what's the matter with you?" yelled Jennka loudly.

"What is it?"

"Well, of course, what: he took and chased me out."

No one said a word. Jennka hid her eyes with her hands and started breathing hard, and it could be seen how under the skin of her cheeks the taut muscles of the jaws were working.

"Jennechka, all my hope is only in you," said Liubka with a deep expression of weary helplessness. "Everybody respects you so. Talk it over, dearie, with Anna Markovna or with Simeon ... Let them take me back."

Jennka straightened up on the bed, fixed Liubka with her dry, burning, yet seemingly weeping eyes, and asked brokenly:

"Have you eaten anything to-day?"

"No. Neither yesterday, nor to-day. Nothing."

"Listen, Jennechka," asked Vanda quietly, "suppose I give her some white wine? And Verka meanwhile will run to the kitchen for meat? What?"

"Do as you know best. Of course, that's all right. And give a look, girlies, why, she's all wet. Oh, what a b.o.o.by! Well! Lively! Undress yourself! Little White Manka, or you, Tamarochka, give her dry drawers, warm stockings and slippers. Well, now," she turned to Liubka, "tell us, you idiot, all that happened to you!"

CHAPTER IX.

On that early morning when Lichonin so suddenly, and, perhaps, unexpectedly even to himself, had carried off Liubka from the gay establishment of Anna Markovna it was the height of summer. The trees still remained green, but in the scent of the air, the leaves, and the gra.s.s there was already to be felt, as though from afar, the tender, melancholy, and at the same time bewitching scent of the nearing autumn. With wonder the student gazed at the trees, so clean, innocent and quiet, as though G.o.d, imperceptibly to men, had planted them about here at night; and the trees themselves were looking around with wonder upon the calm blue water, that still seemed slumbering in the pools and ditches and under the wooden bridge thrown across the shallow river; upon the lofty, as though newly washed sky, which had just awakened, and, in the glow of dawn, half asleep, was smiling with a rosy, lazy, happy smile in greeting to the kindling sun.

The heart of the student expanded and quivered; both from the beauty of the beatific morning, and from the joy of existence, and from the sweet air, refres.h.i.+ng his lungs after the night, pa.s.sed without sleep, in a crowded and smoke-filled compartment. But the beauty and loftiness of his own action moved him still more.

Yes, he had acted like a man, like a real man, in the highest sense of that word! Even now he is not repenting of what he had done. It's all right for them (to whom this "them" applied, Lichonin did not properly understand even himself), it's all right for them to talk about the horrors of prost.i.tution; to talk, sitting at tea, with rolls and sausage, in the presence of pure and cultured girls. But had any one of his colleagues taken some actual step toward liberating a woman from perdition? Eh, now? And then there is also--the sort that will come to this same Sonechka Marmeladova, will tell her all sorts of taradiddles, describe all kinds of horrors to her, b.u.t.t into her soul, until he brings her to tears; and right off will start in crying himself and begin to console her, embrace her, pat her on the head, kiss her at first on the cheek, then on the lips; well, and everybody knows what happens next! Faugh! But with him, with Lichonin, the word and the deed were never at odds.

He clasped Liubka around the waist, and looked at her with kindly, almost loving, eyes; although, the very same minute, he himself thought that he was regarding her as a father or a brother.

Sleep was fearfully besetting Liubka; her eyes would close, and she with an effort would open them wide, so as not to fall asleep again; while on her lips lay the same naive, childish, tired smile, which Lichonin had noticed still there, in the cabinet. And out of one corner of her mouth ran a thin trickle of saliva.

"Liubka, my dear! My darling, much-suffering woman! Behold how fine it is all around! Lord! Here it's five years that I haven't seen the sunrise. Now play at cards, now drinking, now I had to hurry to the university. Behold, my dearest, over there the dawn has burst into bloom. The sun is near! This is your dawn, Liubochka! This is your new life beginning. You will fearlessly lean upon my strong arm. I shall lead you out upon the road of honest toil, on the way to a brave combat with life, face to face with it!"

Liubka eyed him askance. "There, the fumes are still playing in his head," she thought kindly. "But that's nothing--he's kind and a good sort. Only a trifle homely." And, having smiled with a half-sleepy smile, she said in a tone of capricious reproach:

"Ye--es! You'll fool me, never fear. All of you men are like that. You just gain yours at first, to get your pleasure, and then--no attention whatsoever!"

"I? Oh? That I should do this!" Lichonin exclaimed warmly and even smote himself on the chest with his free hand. "Then you know me very badly! I'm too honest a man to be deceiving a defenseless girl. No!

I'll exert all my powers and all my soul to educate your mind, to widen your outlook, to compel your poor heart, which has suffered so, to forget all the wounds and wrongs which life has inflicted upon it. I will be a father and a brother to you! I shall safeguard your every step! And if you will come to love somebody with a truly pure, holy love, then I shall bless that day and hour when I had s.n.a.t.c.hed you out of this Dantean h.e.l.l!"

During the continuation of this flaming tirade the old cabby with great significance, although silently, began laughing, and from this inaudible laughter his back shook. Old cabbies hear very many things, because to the cabby, sitting in front, everything is readily audible, which is not at all suspected by the conversing fares; and many things do the old cabbies know of that which takes place among people. Who knows, perhaps he had heard more than once even more disordered, more lofty speeches?

It seemed to Liubka for some reason that Lichonin had grown angry at her, or that he was growing jealous beforehand of some imaginary rival.

He was declaiming with entirely too much noise and agitation. She became perfectly awake, turned her face to Lichonin with wide open, uncomprehending, and at the same time submissive eyes, and slightly touched his right hand, lying on her waist, with her fingers.

"Don't get angry, my sweetie. I'll never exchange you for another.

Here's my word of honour, honest to G.o.d! My word of honour, that I never will! Don't you think I feel you're wanting to take care of me?

Do you think I don't understand? Why, you're such an attractive, nice little young fellow. There, now, if you were an old man and homely..."

"Ah! You haven't got the right idea!" shouted Lichonin, and again in high-flown style began to tell her about the equal rights of women, about the sacredness of toil, about human justice, about freedom, about the struggle against reigning evil.

Of all his words Liubka understood exactly not a one. She still felt herself guilty of something and somehow shrank all up, grew sad, bowed her head and became quiet. A little more and she, in all probability, would have burst out crying in the middle of the street; but fortunately, they by this time had driven up to the house where Lichonin was staying.

"Well, here we are at home," said the student. "Stop, driver!"

And when he had paid him, he could not refrain from declaiming with pathos, his hand extended theatrically straight before him:

"And into my house, calm and fearless, As its full mistress walk thou in!"