Guardians: The Girl Part 41

"Let her go," Marcus instructs.

They do as they are told.

I spit my words to Julian with venom. "You hurt her. She was a good person who never did anything to anyone and you destroyed her life. You come near me or my mother again and I will kill you."

Julian doesn't say anything. His silence enrages me even further.

A wave of disgust pa.s.ses through me. Or what I thought was disgust. It turns out it's nausea. I throw up everywhere. Everything I ate today is purged from me. Marcus holds my hair out of my face. Rio goes downstairs to get something.

Finally I have nothing left to throw up. Rio comes back; Marcus takes the water and towel from him. He wets the towel and wipes my face.

"It's okay. Everything is going to be okay. He can't hurt her now," Marcus says.

"Maybe he'll try to hurt her again. What's to stop him?"

"Me."

I burst into tears. He holds me. I mumble in his ear, "Get me out of here, please. I can't stay here." Moments later I am in his arms. He looks into my eyes and gently pulls my head to his chest and we fly away-away from Julian, away from the worst day of my life.

Marcus lands us on a mountain range that overlooks a stretch of trees.

He puts me down. I look around and nothing looks familiar.

"Where are we?"

"We're on the Green Mountains, upstate."

I look around again; everything is clear and beautiful.

"I come here when I need to think," he says softly.

I can't bring myself to answer. I don't want to carry on a conversation. I want the last few days not to have happened.

It's like Marcus could read my mind because he says, "You can't undo it, Emmy. No matter how much you want to. And I'm truly sorry for that."

I turn to tell him what I have never admitted to another living human being.

"Marcus, I'm a mistake. If I had never been born, her life would have been so much better."

"That is not true. You're the only good thing that came out of her experience."

"You know what the worst part is?"

"What?"

"There is a part of me, a small stupid, crazy part of me, that has always wanted to know my father."

"That's understandable. It's something you were denied in your life, and you have every right to fantasize about that."

"My whole life is just one big mistake," I cry. He comes closer and puts his arm around me. I pull away from his embrace.

"Please don't comfort me."

"Why?"

"I'm not yours to comfort."

He is about to argue but then thinks better of it and flies away. I want to call him back. But I can't. He's not mine. The only thing that's truly mine is this bottomless despair.

The next morning, I wake up and look at the clock next to the bed.

I throw on some clothes and head outside. The twins are at my front door.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Your wave was that of a girl who was on a mission," Rio.

"I'm really sorry he did that to your mom. One day I'll tell you our Core; you'll see that we're not unfamiliar with pain," Miku offers.

"The only one who'll feel pain is Julian if he doesn't answer my questions."

I march out of the apartment and the twins follow.

Once we get to the house, I march up the stairs. It's a good thing no one in the house sleeps because I would have woken them all. I call out for Julian. Everyone comes running out. Julian comes in from Rio's room.

"You think you can just sleep in this house and be protected after what you did?"

"Emmy, let him explain," Marcus says.

"Explain what? He was h.o.r.n.y so he thought he'd have a nice human girl?

"Give me a chance-," Julian starts to say.

"Shut up. You hurt my mother, and the angels are the only thing keeping me from ripping you limb from limb."

"I never wanted to tell you this way. I didn't want to tell you at all. I wanted your life to be free from...me."

"How could you do that to her? How could you do that to any woman? You were an angel, how could you break her like that?"

"She's right." I look up to see who had spoken on my behalf. It was Ameana, of all people.

"Julian, what you did was repulsive and you should be punished. First Guardian or not," she continues.

He looks around the room. Everyone looks at him. Marcus and Ameana look grave. The twins look sad and Jay is disgusted.

"You need to tell us what's going on. Why did you do that to her mother or to anyone? Was it a Peel? Was someone pretending to be you?" Marcus asks.

"No, it was me."

"Why'd do it?"

"Why do you remember everything that the council said you would have no memory of?" Jay adds.

"And why did you pretend that you believed in that alien mess?" Ameana asks.

"We said we'd let you sleep and tell us tomorrow. It's tomorrow. Start talking," Marcus orders.

"Alright, take a seat," Julian says to me.

"No."

"Please."

"Emmy, have a seat. It's cool." Jay takes me over to the sofa and sits beside me. He holds my hand and whispers to me, "Be cool, baby girl. If he says anything to p.i.s.s you off, I'll take him down."

"Promise?"

"h.e.l.l yeah," he says with a wicked smile. He holds my hands.

The others sit down as well. Most of them sit by me. I think they're worried that I'll strike Julian again. I can't promise I won't, but I need my questions answered. So I sit still and let the contemptuous rapist talk.

"When Atourum called the council to tell them that I had broken the rules, the council convened. Then they handed down their ruling. That part is very well known. But what the council kept quiet was that Omnis had given me a chance to say good bye to my team. On my way to say goodbye, I saw Femi at the entrance to the councils' gate. She was being escorted by a Para angel. The council wanted to see the soul that had caused all of this to come about.

"I told the Para that I would take Femi there myself. As I flew back over to the meeting, the thought that I was never gonna see her again weighed heavily on me. Femi was also worried. She was sure she'd be punished. I told her that Omnis wouldn't give up on a soul easily. And sure enough, Omnis fought to have Femi stay in the light. He let me take her back. That gave me a chance to say a real good bye to her.

"But I couldn't do it. I couldn't let her go. I loved her. So instead of taking her back to the light, I took her over the side and down to Earth with me."

"You took a soul from Omnis?" Marcus asks, shocked.

"I was in love."

"Go on," Jay says.

"We were hunted by both demons and Paras."

"What did you do?" Rio asks.

"We hid out in the Hun Market. We laid low and tried to go unnoticed. But that only lasted a few days."

"I take it they found you," Ameana says.

"Yes, on our way to what is now Gaza."

"Why were you going there?"

"That's where the Hun market had s.h.i.+fted to. We were hoping to find some kind of creation that might be able to help us."

"Any luck?"

"We never made it there. Three Para angels came and got us. They took us back up to Omnis. When we were standing in his presence, the glow was unbearable. We needed the Paras to stand between us and Omnis to absorb the light coming from him.

"The Paras translated what he was saying. Omnis said he was very disappointed in me. He said he knew what I had been thinking when I asked to take Femi into the light. He let me do it as a test. He left me alone with Femi to see if I could follow his orders.

"He said that had I taken her into the light like he had instructed, he would have pardoned me and sent me into the light as well. But since I had disobeyed him, for the second time, his patience had run out.

"I told him that I loved her and that what I had done, I did for love. He understood it was hard for me, but they were his orders and they were to be followed nonetheless. I had proven to be unworthy of the light. So, he was sending me back to Earth.

"Omnis said that I had to learn not only how to obey him, but how to love. He said that had I really loved Femi, I would have let her go into the light because it was what was best for her. He called my love faulty and said I needed to learn what true love was. So he sent Femi down to Earth with me. I couldn't understand why he did that. But I was beyond happy. I would spend all of forever with the girl I had come to love more than anything."

"What happened when the two of you came to Earth?"

"The cruelest fate awaited us."

"She died while you were on Earth?" Jay asks.

"You didn't love her anymore?" Rio joins in.

"Worse. Omnis let Femi come to Earth but stripped her of her memories so she would never remember that she had loved me or that I had loved her."

"I went to the Sage for some answers. She was expecting me."

"She? The Sage was a girl?" Ameana inquires.

"It was over a thousand cycles ago, and yes, at the time it was a girl. She said that Omnis had convinced the council that while I should keep my memory, Femi's should be taken away. That way while I don't remember the bridge, I'll remember how much I love her. And if I can go one cycle and never see her, even though my love for her continues to grow, then I would have learned my lesson."

"All you had to do is stay away from the woman you love for one cycle. That's easy" Marcus says.

"Is it?" Julian asks pointedly.

"Go on," he snaps at Julian.

"I was unable to tear myself away from her. Every cycle that came, I'd find her. That would in turn keep her away from the light."

"How did you find her?"

"She is always known to me. Like a dog would know if its master walked into the room."

"Why don't you just move away?"

"I did, many times. Once I actually lived my whole life and never sought her out. But by the end of that cycle I was craving her more and more. I needed to be with her. To hold her hand, to kiss her."

"So, you found the nearest girl and raped her?" I bark at him.

"Emmy," Jay pleads with me. I pay him no mind and continue to shout at Julian.

"You rape my mother because you missed your girlfriend."