Love's Suicide Part 6

As the weeks got closer to the wedding, I started to feel better. I kept focused on what needed to be done and avoided negative thoughts.

We spent the holiday with the family, and I avoided going into Brooks' room. Branch was especially affectionate, and it reminded me why I was marrying him. He'd been by my side since we were children, and I knew I could count on him to give us the best future possible.

A few nights later, Branch took me out to celebrate our upcoming nuptials. He made me get dressed up and surprised me by taking me to a five-star steak restaurant.

We were seated down in a section all alone. Being that it was a Monday, I just figured that it was probably a night where they weren't packed. The lighting was low and candles lit our table.

After we sat down, we were immediately offered a gla.s.s of wine and given our menus. "This is really nice," I whispered as the waiter walked away.

"I only want the best for my girl, Katy. You deserve to be treated like a princess."

"I wouldn't go that far. I'm just my normal self. I have flaws, like everyone else."

"You're perfect to me. You always have been."

I reached over the table and took his hand. "I love you, Branch."

He smiled, seemingly pleased with the moment. "The big day is coming up. Are you getting nervous?"

"Of course not." I pulled my hand away and acted offended, even though his question was closer to home than he probably knew.

"I just want everything to be perfect. Once we're married all of your worries will fade away. I'm going to make you happy, you know."

"Yeah, I do know that you'll take care of me. You're a good man, Branch. I'm lucky to have found you so early on in life. I don't know where I'd be without you."

He said something snarky under his breath and waved to the waiter to tell him we were ready to order, even though I'd barely looked at the menu. He didn't look at me when he said his next comment. "You should just be glad you ended up with me instead of Brooks. He never could have made you happy anyway."

I don't know why I felt like I had to defend Brooks, but I slammed the menu shut and waved away the waiter before speaking my mind. "Don't even go there with me, Branch. I can't believe that you brought that up. What did he ever do to you?"

He folded his hands and put this annoyingly fake smile on. "Where do I even begin? Let's start with our first kiss. Do you remember it?"

I shook my head and acted like it was petty to be bringing up, especially in such a nice place. "Are we seriously talking about the day before my parents died?"

"Yeah, Katy. We are." He shook his head. "My dear brother waited for me to walk away before trying to get more action."

"We were twelve, Branch. Are you seriously telling me that you're holding a grudge over something that happened that long ago?"

"You're d.a.m.n right I am. If you knew half of what he's done, you wouldn't be sitting there defending him."

That's when it hit me. Branch still thought I didn't know about Brooks coming into my room. He thought that if I found out I'd hate Brooks. Instead, it made me feel closer to him. I couldn't explain it, but it was impossible for me to hate that I'd been with him. "Listen, no matter how bad you think he is, he's still family. n.o.body is perfect."

He finished off his gla.s.s of wine and slammed it down so hard I thought the gla.s.s was going to break. "Do you know what you want?"

I shrugged. I wasn't even hungry anymore. "Just order for me. I'm sure you know what's best," I said, sarcastically.

Branch ordered and tried to change the subject, although I had tuned him out even before our next round of wine was poured. In his defense, I could see why he felt betrayed. Branch wasn't exactly innocent himself. He'd threatened Brooks about me when we were kids and Brooks, being the considerate brother, stepped aside.

After dinner, we drove home in silence. I didn't have a nice thing that I could say to him, and I think he knew it. We went to bed angry, which was something I promised I would never do.

That next morning I explained everything to Melissa. Well, most of it. Since I'd left out all of the negative things about Brooks, she was on my side. Had she known about Brooks doing the switch-a-roo thing she'd probably have a different opinion.

"I don't get it, Katy. You're marrying him. What's the big deal? I never saw Branch as being a jealous kind of guy. You two are so happy together."

"He isn't jealous in general. It's only when it has to do with Brooks."

She shook her head and laughed. "Girl, I wish I had the man problems that you have."

"Don't say that."

"It's true. Anyway, maybe after you're wed Branch will finally settle down."

"Just help me get through things until then. I'm going to need the support."

She laughed and put her arm around me. "I've got your back, chick. n.o.body's going to ruin your day, I promise."

I wish that I could believe her, but a feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn't go away. With less than a month to go, I worried more than ever if I was doing the right thing, and if I wasn't, would I be able to walk away from both of them, to keep our family together?

Chapter 8.

December 21st 2010 I woke up next to Branch wide-eyed and smiling at me. "Good morning, beautiful."

After yawning and giving my arms a stretch I fell into his chest. "Good morning to you."

He rubbed my back as he spoke. "You ready to get up and head to the hotel, where we'll be married tomorrow?"

I leaned up and kissed him. "Yes."

We'd been getting along better after our date night from h.e.l.l weeks ago. As long as we didn't talk about his brother, everything was fine with the world. Our s.e.x life sucked, but considering the stress we were under, I felt it to be normal.

While getting ready, I silently thought about seeing him again after so long. I'd missed him so much, but didn't want to offend Branch the night before our wedding. We just needed to get through the rehearsal dinner and wake up and get married. It was going to be easy enough.

Branch and I had much to discuss on our way to the city, like what time people were arriving and where I needed him to be. I'd also booked everyone's room in advance, putting me and Melissa on a separate floor than him and his brother. After all, it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride, so we were spending the night apart.

My jitters weren't really apparent anymore, as I just wanted to be married so we could finally stop living on edge. Once Branch knew that I'd committed my life to him, he'd be able to settle down and let Brooks back into our life.

I wasn't asking to spend every moment with him, but seeing him every few months would have been nice.

We'd arrived at the hotel before anyone else, and I couldn't help but watch the sliding gla.s.s doors for Brooks to enter. It had been so long, and even though I knew Branch was going to be mad, I wanted to at least say h.e.l.lo.

When Danica and Walt arrived, they had a bunch of things to carry. Branch headed outside to give them a hand, while I was talking to the concierge about the banquet room and what time we would be able to get in and start setting up.

Now, there is something to be said about any man in a uniform. It's like it makes even the most non-attractive man much hotter, but when I heard someone behind me clearing his voice and turned around to see him in full military fatigues, I thought I was going to pa.s.s out.

He sat his bags down and opened his arms for me. Without regard for who could see us, I fell right into him, not willing to let go. "I missed you so much," he said into my hair.

I pulled away and looked up at him. He'd changed.

His baby face was gone and replaced with a roughly shaven, more squared jaw. His hair was short, around the same length as his brothers, except his was covered by a hat. Those blue eyes that I looked into every single day shone back at me, but were somehow different than Branch's. "It's been a long time."

He smiled and wouldn't stop looking at me. "You look great, Kat."

"Can I help you, sir?" The lady behind the desk interrupted.

He stepped forward and pulled out his wallet. "I'm here to check in. The name is Valentine, Brooks Valentine."

I stayed back letting him finish his transaction. I couldn't explain it, but it seemed like I'd forgotten what I was there for in the first place. All I wanted to do was sit down and have a drink with this person that I'd known my whole life.

"Well look at what the cat dragged in." Branch came walking in with his arms full of boxes. He sat them down in a chair and walked over to greet his brother. I was actually in shock that he seemed genuinely happy to see him. They hugged, before Branch backed up and put his arm around me. "It's real good to see you, bro."

Brooks smiled. "Yeah, you too."

I watched as his parents took their turns hugging and checking out that their son was really standing in front of us in one piece.

While they seemed occupied, I took it upon myself to walk away and catch a breather. I didn't know why, but something felt wrong, as if it was rehea.r.s.ed.

I grabbed the boxes and started carrying them into the banquet hall.

Once inside, I sat down on a chair and tried to calm down. For a couple moments I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. The room was spinning all around, and I had to put my head between my knees to stop it.

I heard the door open and someone approaching me, but I didn't look up to see who it was.

Danica sat down beside me and put her hand on my head. "Just breathe."

"What's happening to me? My chest feels tight and I can't catch my breath."

"You're having an anxiety attack." She pulled me into her arms and started rubbing the back of my hair. "Just take nice even breaths and focus on one thing. Block everything else out."

I tried doing as she said, but the room was still spinning. "I think I'm going to pa.s.s out."

"You won't."

After ten minutes, when I still wasn't feeling better, she helped me up to my room and removed my shoes while I laid down on the bed. She pulled the covers over me and got me a damp towel for my head. "You've gotten yourself so worked up. We need to get you feeling better before dinner time." I watched her walk over and grab something out of her purse. "Take one of these. It will help."

I put it in my mouth and accepted the plastic cup of water to swallow it down with. "What is it?"

"Xanax. It's for anxiety. In a couple of minutes you'll start to feel better."

She sat with me and held my hand until I finally started to relax. All of the sudden I felt so tired. "I can't fall asleep. There's too much to do."

Danica leaned down and kissed my forehead. "You need to rest. There are plenty enough people here to take care of things while you get yourself feeling better."

I don't know why I said it, but the words came blubbering out. "Make sure they don't fight with each other."

For some reason she knew exactly who I was talking about. "Katy, I don't think anyone could predict what those two will do. For the sake of the wedding, they've both agreed to behave."

"Thank you." I closed my eyes and let myself rest.

I woke up to someone coming into my room. Melissa left her stuff at the door and plopped down on the bed next to me. "What are you doing sleeping? We've got celebrating to do."

I sat up and noticed that I'd been asleep for nearly three hours. "I had an anxiety attack. It was horrible. I felt like I was dying."

"Girl, I used to get them. You've got to stay calm."

"Danica gave me a Xanax. I fell asleep and it's gone now."

She reached over and hugged me. "I'm so excited for you. I already saw Branch, and I met that fine a.s.s brother-in-law to be. You were right. They are identical, but different. Do you think he'd like to have a good time with a complete stranger for a weekend?"

I felt like my closest friend had just kicked me in the face. It shouldn't have bothered me. I'd been living with and was marrying his brother. Brooks didn't belong to me, not that he ever did. "You'll have to ask him yourself."

I walked into the bathroom to freshen up and sat down on the toilet, covering my face with my hands. I was jealous of Melissa saying Brooks was hot.

What was wrong with me?

She waited for me to come back out, and then we headed out to find the guys. I spotted Branch first, because Brooks had changed from his uniform to regular civilian clothing. He smiled when he saw me approaching, but I quickly turned my attention to Branch.

He asked Melissa what she wanted and went up to get us drinks. Brooks leaned over and asked, "Are you feeling better?"

Why hadn't my fiancee asked me that? "Yes, thanks."

"Nerves got the best of you, I a.s.sume." He took a sip of his beer and stared at a game on the television, instead of looking at me.

It was probably better, since Branch was heading over with a round of drinks for all of us. "Thanks," I said as I grabbed mine out of his hand.

"We can have one drink before we need to meet in the restaurant for dinner," Branch explained.

We stood around mingling, and finally things started to feel alright. Aside from Melissa staring at Brooks and him actually speaking to her, I was in a good mood. Branch seemed happy to have his brother home, and it was almost like old times.

We headed to dinner and sat at a large table with his parents. Brooks told stories of being in boot camp and things him and his buddies did to make the time go by faster. He talked about his upcoming deployment and what his job would be while he was gone.

I could see that it bothered Danica, knowing he was basically being s.h.i.+pped into a war-zone. I knew how she felt, because I was worried about him too.

While he spoke and everyone listened, I caught him catching my gaze every once in a while, and each time I got b.u.t.terflies.

I hated myself for it, because I knew it was wrong and I couldn't stop it.