Snapdragon: Tiny Threads Part 8

"No. Bad idea. We can't afford all that s.h.i.+t right now."

I threw my hands in the air and huffed again. He was driving me crazy. No matter what I said, he'd rebuff. "What are you talking about? We could get a used car for like, five-thousand dollars, or less. If my parents pay half that's nothing. I'm telling you that I need the help!"

He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "You think money grows on trees, Jesus," he mumbled, but it was loud enough for me to hear it. "Look. It's your job to take them to school and pick them up. What are you trying to free up so much time for?"

I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head. "You insufferable jerk! What do I need time for? Oh, I don't know... clean up after you filthy animals, cook your d.a.m.n meals, feed, walk and clean up after your dog, play taxi driver to four kids all day, every day, and work my own d.a.m.n job. I haven't even shaved my legs in three weeks, Royal! I'm not asking for my days to be spared-I'm asking for a little help! Walk a day in my shoes, and I'm sure you'd be singing a very different tune!"

I stomped off into the house, leaving my yard work for later. I didn't even want to deal with his nonsense. He'd said some stupid things in his time, but that was a doozy. I was buying the girl a car no matter what. If he'd given me a valid reason not to I would've listened, but he was full of s.h.i.+t.

I went straight to the kitchen and started pulling things out to fix for lunch. The day had started out fine with us working side by side in the yard. We were having fun for once. Then, the jerk showed up, so I was done.

He was getting on my last nerve.

He didn't follow me in, and for that I was grateful. I had a thousand things to get done and half my day was gone. There was no time to argue with him over stupid things.

I was busy slamming things around in frustration when Skylar and Macy came into the room.

"Hey, Mom," Skylar said, pulling up a stool at the center counter. "Can you give us a ride down to the beach in a little bit?"

The question was simple enough, but after the conversation with Royal, it struck a nerve. "I guess. Yeah. Give me a little bit to finish up lunch and we'll go. Did you girls finish your ch.o.r.es already?"

"Yup," Macy answered, grabbing an apple and taking a seat next to Skylar. "All four bedrooms are clean, the bathrooms scrubbed, and the floors swept. The only thing I couldn't do was the ceiling fans-I need Daddy to help me with the ladder."

I smiled. They were such good kids. I felt horrible for being snappy with them when it wasn't their fault. "Good girls. Don't worry about the ceiling fans-we can do that tomorrow. Go make sure Benji is cleaned up. He's been out back with Angus all morning, so he's probably all s...o...b..ry and muddy."

Skylar jumped up and headed out of the room, but Macy stayed seated. I could feel her eyes on me, so I set the knife down and looked over. "What's up, sweetie?"

"I heard you and Dad fighting about me. I don't want a car, Mom. Especially if it's going to make you and Dad fight more. It's not worth it." Her voice was full of hurt, and it made my heart sink.

"Listen," I started, grabbing her face in my hands. The deep green swam with sadness and confusion, and I just couldn't stand it. "Your Dad is having a hard time dealing with you growing up. He'll come around, don't worry. Okay?"

"All right, Mom." She gave me a watery smile, and my heart sank even more.

"You go get ready. I'll have sandwiches ready when you get back down."

I sent her on her way and finished making lunch when Royal walked in.

"Lunch is ready," I said quietly, not knowing what sort of mood he was in.

"Thanks," he mumbled. "I'm going upstairs to clean up. I'll come back down in a little bit."

"I'm taking the girls to the beach after lunch. I think I'll drag Benji along and let him play for a while."

He nodded and went upstairs without another word.

About an hour later, we were pulling into the parking lot at the beach. The weather wasn't great, but the fresh air always helped me clear my head. I couldn't stand being in that house with Royal another second. The tension was so thick, I was suffocating.

As soon as I parked, the girls were out of the truck like their a.s.ses were on fire. I laughed because I knew the feeling. There was no way I would've wanted to hang out with my mom when my friends were around. How embarra.s.sing.

I gathered up Benji's toys while he bounced around behind me, anxious to get on the sand. I'd forgotten a beach chair, but thankfully had a blanket to sit on in the back of the truck. Once my arms were full, I gave him the boogie board to hold, and we were on our way.

"Come on, Mommy! I wanna play in the water!" He dragged the board behind him by the leash, tromping and tripping through the sand.

He was so cute and happy. That kid had more energy than all the girls put together. His free spirit was like a beacon of light. It was exactly what I needed. The second the fresh sea air hit me, I felt ten times better. My mind cleared, my body relaxed, and I felt like myself for the first time in weeks. Moments like these were what mattered. My kids mattered. I had to focus on them and keeping things normal, no matter what Royal and I were going through.

I set the blanket out in front of me and let the bags tumble off my arms before flopping down and letting my toes squish into the sand. Even though there was a chill in the air, the sand was still warm and soft and felt fantastic.

Benji's laughter pulled my attention, and I laughed out loud. He'd tried to pull his s.h.i.+rt off and had it stuck over his head and one arm. "Ben, come over here, goofball! Let me help you."

He walked a few feet forward, so he was in front of me, grumbling about his dumb s.h.i.+rt. I got it off quickly and grabbed a hold of his arm before he could make his escape. "Sunscreen first, Bubba."

There was more grumbling, but he managed to stand still long enough for me to rub the lotion on his back. He had my skin, so no doubt he'd end up pink by the end of the day. As soon as my hand left his body, he was off like a flash, sprinting toward the water.

The waves looked a little bigger than I expected, and much bigger than I felt comfortable with him playing in alone. Royal was always in the water with Benji, and he was a fantastic swimmer, so I didn't worry so much. I, on the other hand, was not. I could swim-pretty much doggy paddle and hold my breath-but not well enough to drag my child out of the ocean.

I sat up a little, watching him like a hawk, when Royal came up behind me and scared the c.r.a.p out of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, smacking his chest with the palm of my hand. "You scared the bajeezus out of me!"

He gave me a c.o.c.ky smile and pushed his sungla.s.ses up on top of his head before sitting down on the blanket next to me. "What were you thinking so hard about? I've been standing here for ten minutes."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "No you haven't. Benji just got in the water. I was just thinking it's kind of rough out there for him. Don't you think?"

I took another look toward Benji and smiled when I saw he was right at the sh.o.r.eline-just like I'd asked. I think he was a little intimidated by the water, too.

"Nah, he's good. He can swim, Jenna. He won't go out far enough, anyway. He knows the rules."

I nodded in agreement and looked over at him again. I wasn't sure what brought him all the way out to the beach-he'd made it clear he was staying home earlier.

"So, what brings you out here?"

He sighed and sat up, facing me. "I've been a real d.i.c.k. I know I keep apologizing, but I mean it. I'm going to try to sort this s.h.i.+t out." He ran his hand over my leg, letting it settle on my knee.

I smiled, loving that he was actually talking, and extremely excited that he wanted to spend time with us. It was another hurdle, and I felt victorious. "Are you ready to talk about it? It may help to get it out."

He squeezed my knee and flopped onto his side. "I can't pinpoint one thing, Jenna. I'm stressed out." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He was watching his hand rub my knee, and I just couldn't take it. I need to see him. I wanted him to see me.

"Hey," I said softly. "Look at me. Tell me what's going on. Is it me?"

His head snapped up and his eyes were pained. I hated seeing him like that, and frankly, it scared the c.r.a.p out of me.

"Things have been slow. The economy is kicking me in the b.a.l.l.s, Jenna. n.o.body is building or spending money. I didn't want to stress you out, so I just kept it to myself. He took another breath and let his head fall forward again. "I can't let you guys down, Jenna. I won't."

I grabbed his hands and squeezed. "Royal, you could've told me about that! I can take more clients, work more hours, cut back on groceries. Whatever it takes. There's no reason for you to bottle this up!"

His eyes flashed back to mine and once again, they were cold and closed off. "I just lost a bid on two projects. Huge projects. I'm working on some things right now to get back on track. This is why I didn't tell you, Jen. I knew you'd f.u.c.king freak out."

He started to get up, but I wasn't having it. He couldn't drop that kind of bomb and shut the h.e.l.l down on me again. No way.

"No!" I demanded, grabbing his arm. "No way are you doing this. We'll deal with this together, okay? Today, let's have fun with Benji and enjoy ourselves. Tonight, we can talk."

His eyes softened, and he leaned in, pressing his lips against mine. "Okay, cookie." He gave me a slow, warm kiss before jumping to his feet and removing his s.h.i.+rt. "I'm gonna surprise Benji. I'll be back." He gave me a quick wink before disappearing down the sand toward the water. I watched as Benji turned and squealed in surprise when he saw him.

He grabbed Benji by the waist, raising him over his head before dropping him in the waves. Benji jumped up, head first, shaking his fist and laughing. They started to swim a little bit, so I let myself lie back on the blanket and relax.

Of course, I couldn't let go of what he told me about the business. I couldn't comprehend how he thought I wouldn't understand-I was his wife! We'd been through hard times in the past and we survived. There was no reason why we couldn't make it work.

Was I worried? h.e.l.l yes. I was terrified. I had a mortgage, car payments, children to clothe and feed, and college looming in the near future. I also knew there were things we could do to trim the fat. We lived very comfortably, but I never took that for granted.

In the early years of our marriage, especially when we moved into our first home, we lived off the skin of our teeth. Paycheck to paycheck didn't even cover it. We were constantly robbing Peter to pay Paul. But we managed. We always had a roof over our heads, heat, water, and food. Of course, my parent's helped us out a lot, but it was always just a bag of groceries, a loan so we could buy new tires or fix the transmission on the car, or after Macy was born, it was diapers, formula, and baby clothes.

Back then, I became a pretty savvy shopper. I got very good with coupons and budgets, the second hand store became my favorite place in the world, and I was a fanatic about turning off lights and weatherproofing the house. We went several winters without a heater and only piles of blankets and our arms to keep us warm.

That's how I knew we'd be okay. We'd lived on fifty dollars a week back then. After rent, utilities, and gas for the van, we were on a beggar's budget. It never fazed us. We lived off love and hope.

We could do it again but only if we worked together.

An hour later, it had gotten way too cold, so we packed everything up and started loading up the truck. The girls were lagging-I knew they weren't ready to leave, but I was exhausted and in no mood to drive all the way back to pick them up.

"I'm going to go find them." Royal adjusted his hat and took off down the beach with Benji in tow.

I smirked. That was going to go over about as well as a pimple on prom night. The girls would freak out when Royal approached them. He loved giving them a hard time, and I was a little disappointed that I'd miss the look on their faces when he found them.

Since it was chilly, I waited in the car and messed around on my phone while I waited for them. After about twenty minutes I finally heard voices, so I looked up in the rearview mirror and saw them coming. I expected Royal to look amused-as he usually did when he embarra.s.sed the girls, but instead, he looked livid. Skylar followed behind him with quick steps, and Macy led the pack, yelling over her shoulder as she stomped toward the truck.

I hopped out of the truck to see what was going on. Skylar slipped past me with a strange look on her face, something like guilt playing in her eyes. I narrowed mine at her but quickly turned to look at Macy.

"Oh my G.o.d! Why is he here? I was coming! G.o.d!" she complained, coming to stand in front of me with her hands fisted at her sides. There were fat tears running down her cheeks, and I instinctively reached for her.

"What's wrong? Did something happen? I've been texting you for a half hour! We were worried!"

"Yeah, that little f.u.c.ker with the dreads happened." Royal stood beside Macy and shook his head. "Doesn't that kid own clothes? And what the h.e.l.l is she wearing, Jenna?"

I took a quick glance at her and didn't find anything wrong with what she had on: a bikini top, denim shorts, and a pair of flip-flops. She looked the same as she did when we left the house-minus the tank top she had covering her suit.

"She's wearing a bathing suit, Royal."

His eyes bugged out of his head and he looked at me like I had a rhino on my back. "What the h.e.l.l kind of bathing suit is that? It's... it's too f.u.c.king small and her..." he waved his hands around in a circular fas.h.i.+on in front of his chest and frowned. "You know... she needs to keep her clothes on."

I had an ah-ha moment and gave him a kind smile. b.o.o.bs. In Royal's world, his daughters were still five years old. He had a hard time understanding that he had three beautiful daughters with curves and lady parts. The one thing he did understand was teenage boys. Once upon a time, he'd been one of those boys. In that moment I fully understood his temper.

"Macy, get in the truck. Let me talk to your dad."

She huffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "Just so you know, you totally ruined my life!"

So dramatic.

"I highly doubt that, but we'll talk later."

Once she was behind closed doors, I reached over and rubbed Royal's arm. He was fuming, practically shaking with anger.

"What did you see that has you so p.i.s.sed off? She looks just like all the other girls at the beach. She's not wearing anything inappropriate."

"Bulls.h.i.+t," he hissed, leaning closer and lowering his voice. "That little b.a.s.t.a.r.d had his hands in her back pockets-grabbing her a.s.s! You know d.a.m.n well that girl doesn't look the same as any of the girls on this beach! She looks too grown f.u.c.king up!"

I wanted to giggle. I didn't, but I really wanted to. I worried about boys, too. Every mother does, but I also knew it was normal for her to like boys and for boys to like her. Was I happy that the boy was touching her b.u.t.t-h.e.l.l no, and we'd have a conversation about that later, but having her father freak out and humiliate her was unnecessary.

"Look. You can't do things like that. You want to alienate her like my dad did? She'll end up in the back of that kid's Ford faster than you can snap your fingers and you know it."

Rage flashed behind his eyes at the mention of her being with a boy, but I needed him to understand.

"You had your hands down my pants before my sixteenth birthday, Royal Grainger, so you need to control yourself. She's going to date boys, kiss boys, hold hands with boys, and eventually, do other things with boys. She's almost eighteen years old. Chill out before I end up with a grandbaby in the same elementary school as my son."

That seemed to trigger something because I watched as the color returned to his face.

"f.u.c.k, I hate this. Did she have to find the biggest juvenile delinquent on the beach to suck face with? Is she trying to kill me?"

I reached up and kissed him, feeling bold, but unable to hold back. It was a huge turn-on seeing him so protective and loving toward his girls. There was nothing s.e.xier than when he was in alpha dad mode.

"Of course she did," I purred, pulling his lip between my teeth. I let go and smiled against his lips when he groaned and pulled me into his arms. "Like mother, like daughter."

"Great," he said sarcastically.

I laughed. "Don't judge a book by its cover, Royal. My dad thought you were the devil incarnate, and you proved him wrong. He's just a kid."

I had no idea if the kid was just a kid or not. I'd get that information from Macy later. I just needed Royal to settle down.

I felt his body relax, and just as his lips came down on mine once more, there was a rap on the window. The car was turned off, so they couldn't roll the windows down, so Macy yelled through the gla.s.s.

"Get a room!"

"I guess we should go." He kissed me again, letting his tongue dance playfully with mine. I knew he was playing it up, in retaliation for the comments from the girls, but it suited me just fine. The day had turned out much better than I thought it would, and I felt the distance between us fizzling. I wasn't ready for it to end.

"I have an idea," I told him.

"Mm-hm," he mumbled against my lips.

"Give the kids money to pick up dinner on the way home, and tell them we'll meet them there," I suggested.

He smiled against my lips and then reached for the door. He popped his head inside and looked in the backseat.

"Macy, Mom's coming home with me." He dug for some money in his pocket and placed it in her hand when he got out of the truck. "Stop and pick up some pizza or something on the way home-and go straight home. I'm timing you."

She rolled her eyes at him, and I could see it was taking all he had not to start in on her again.