Focus. Part 5

clear your floor.

If you have a cluttered floor surrounding your works.p.a.ce, this could take awhile, so do it in chunks. No need to do everything at once.

Some people have stacks of files and papers around them. If this is you, slowly start to go through them, one file/paper at a time: do you need it? If so, file it. If not, recycle it or forward to the right person.

What else is on your floor? Quickly make decisions: do you absolutely need it? If not, get rid of it. If you do, find a place in a drawer, out of sight and not on the floor. This might mean making room in drawers by getting rid of stuff.

Again, this could take a little longer, so do it in chunks.

clear your walls.

Many people have calendars, pictures, memos, motivational posters, reminders, schedules, and more, hanging on their walls near their desk. Those are visual distractions and make it a little more difficult to focus. Clearing your walls, except perhaps for a nice photo or piece of art, is a good idea for creating the perfect environment for focusing.

If you've done the steps above, this one should be easy. Take everything down except for a couple of essential pieces or pleasing photos/artwork. Either get rid of things you don't need, or find an out-of-sight spot for things you do need.

2: slowing down.

"There is more to life than increasing its speed."

Gandhi.

The world most of us live in is hectic, fast-paced, fractured, hurried. What's more, most of us are conditioned to think this is the way life should be.

Life should be lived at break-neck speed, we believe. We risk our lives in cars and we break the speed limit, rus.h.i.+ng from one place to another. We do one thing after another, multi-tasking and switching between tasks as fast as we can blink.

All in the name of productivity, of having more, of appearing busy, to ourselves and to others.

But life doesn't have to be this way. In fact, I'd argue that it's counterproductive.

If our goal is to create, to produce amazing things, to go for quality over quant.i.ty, then rus.h.i.+ng is not the most effective way to work. Slowing down and focusing is always more effective.

Rus.h.i.+ng produces errors. It's distracting to flit from one thing to the next, with our attention never on one thing long enough to give it any thought or create anything of worth. Hurrying produces too much noise to be able to find the quiet the mind needs for true creativity and profound thinking.

So yes, moving quickly will get more done. But it won't get the right things done.

benefits of slowing down.

There are lots of reasons to slow down, but I'll list just a few to give you an idea of why it's important: Better focus. When you slow down, you can focus better. It's hard to focus if you're moving to fast.

Deeper focus. Rus.h.i.+ng produces shallowness, because you never have time to dig beneath the surface. Slow down and dive into deeper waters.

Better appreciation. You can really appreciate what you have, what you're doing, who you're with, when you take the time to slow down and really pay attention.

Enjoyment. When you appreciate things, you enjoy them more. Slowing down allows you to enjoy life to the fullest.

Less stress. Rus.h.i.+ng produces anxiety and higher stress levels. Slowing down is calmer, relaxing, peaceful.

a change of mindset.

The most important step is a realization that life is better when you move at a slower, more relaxed pace, instead of hurrying and rus.h.i.+ng and trying to cram too much into every day. Instead, get the most out of every moment.

Is a book better if you speed read it, or if you take your time and get lost in it?

Is a song better if you skim through it, or if you take the time to really listen?

Is food better if you cram it down your throat, or if you savor every bite and really appreciate the flavor?

Is your work better if you're trying to do 10 things at once, or if you really pour yourself into one important task?

Is your time spent with a friend or loved one better if you have a rushed meeting interrupted by your emails and text messages, or if you can relax and really focus on the person?

Life as a whole is better if you go slowly, and take the time to savor it, appreciate every moment. That's the simplest reason to slow down.

And so, you'll need to change your mindset (if you've been stuck in a rushed mindset until now). To do this, make the simple admission that life is better when savored, that work is better with focus. Then make the commitment to give that a try, to take some of the steps below.

but I can't change!

There will be some among you who will admit that it would be nice to slow down, but you just can't do it... your job won't allow it, or you'll lose income if you don't do as many projects, or living in the city makes it too difficult to go slowly. It's a nice ideal if you're living on a tropical island, or out in the country, or if you have a job that allows control of your schedule... but it's not realistic for your life.

I say bulls.h.i.+t.

Take responsibility for your life. If your job forces you to rush, take control of it. Make changes in what you do, in how you work. Work with your boss to make changes if necessary. And if really necessary, you can eventually change jobs. You are responsible for your life.

If you live in a city where everyone rushes, realize that you don't have to be like everyone else. You can be different. You can walk instead of driving in rush hour traffic. You can have fewer meetings. You can work on fewer but more important things. You can be on your iPhone or Blackberry less, and be disconnected sometimes. Your environment doesn't control your life -- you do.

I'm not going to tell you how to take responsibility for your life, but once you make the decision, the how will become apparent over time.

tips for a slower-paced life.

I can't give you a step-by-step guide to moving slower, but here are some things to consider and perhaps adopt, if they work for your life. Some things might require you to make major changes, but they can be done over time.

Do less. Cut back on your projects, on your task list, on how much you try to do each day. Focus not on quant.i.ty but quality. Pick 2-3 important things -- or even just one important thing -- and work on those first. Save smaller, routine tasks for later in the day, but give yourself time to focus.

Have fewer meetings. Meetings are usually a big waste of time. And they eat into your day, forcing you to squeeze the things you really need to do into small windows, and making you rush. Try to have blocks of time with no interruptions, so you don't have to rush from one meeting to another.

Practice disconnecting. Have times when you turn off your devices and your email notifications and whatnot. Time with no phone calls, when you're just creating, or when you're just spending time with someone, or just reading a book, or just taking a walk, or just eating mindfully. You can even disconnect for (gasp!) an entire day, and you won't be hurt. I promise.

Give yourself time to get ready and get there. If you're constantly rus.h.i.+ng to appointments or other places you have to be, it's because you don't allot enough time in your schedule for preparing and for traveling. Pad your schedule to allow time for this stuff. If you think it only takes you 10 minutes to get ready for work or a date, perhaps give yourself 30-45 minutes so you don't have to shave in a rush or put on makeup in the car. If you think you can get there in 10 minutes, perhaps give yourself 2-3 times that amount so you can go at a leisurely pace and maybe even get there early.

Practice being comfortable with sitting, doing nothing. One thing I've noticed is that when people have to wait, they become impatient or uncomfortable. They want their mobile device or at least a magazine, because standing and waiting is either a waste of time or something they're not used to doing without feeling self-conscious. Instead, try just sitting there, looking around, soaking in your surroundings. Try standing in line and just watching and listening to people around you. It takes practice, but after awhile, you'll do it with a smile.

Realize that if it doesn't get done, that's OK. There's always tomorrow. And yes, I know that's a frustrating att.i.tude for some of you who don't like laziness or procrastination or living without firm deadlines, but it's also reality. The world likely won't end if you don't get that task done today. Your boss might get mad, but the company won't collapse and life will inevitably go on. And the things that need to get done will.

Start to eliminate the unnecessary. When you do the important things with focus, without rush, there will be things that get pushed back, that don't get done. And you need to ask yourself: how necessary are these things? What would happen if I stopped doing them? How can I eliminate them, delegate them, automate them?

Practice mindfulness. Simply learn to live in the present, rather than thinking so much about the future or the past. When you eat, fully appreciate your food. When you're with someone, be with them fully. When you're walking, appreciate your surroundings, no matter where you are.

Slowly eliminate commitments. We're overcommitted, which is why we're rus.h.i.+ng around so much. I don't just mean with work -- projects and meetings and the like. Parents have tons of things to do with and for their kids, and we overcommit our kids as well. Many of us have busy social lives, or civic commitments, or are coaching or playing on sports teams. We have cla.s.ses and groups and hobbies. But in trying to cram so much into our lives, we're actually deteriorating the quality of those lives. Slowly eliminate commitments -- pick 4-5 essential ones, and realize that the rest, while nice or important, just don't fit right now. Politely inform people, over time, that you don't have time to stick to those commitments.

Try these things out. Life is better when unrushed. And given the fleeting nature of this life, why waste even a moment by rus.h.i.+ng through it?

3: going with the flow.

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."

Lao-Tzu.

No matter how much structure we create in our lives, no matter how many good habits we build, there will always be things that we cannot control -- and if we let them, these things can be a huge source of anger, frustration and stress.

The simple solution: learn to go with the flow.

For example, let's say you've created the perfect peaceful morning routine. You've structured your mornings so that you do things that bring you calm and happiness. And then a water pipe bursts in your bathroom and you spend a stressful morning trying to clean up the mess and get the pipe fixed.

You get angry. You are disappointed, because you didn't get to do your morning routine. You are stressed from all these changes to what you're used to. It ruins your day because you are frustrated for the rest of the day.

Not the best way to handle things, is it? And yet if we are honest, most of us have problems like this, with things that disrupt how we like things, with people who change what we are used to, with life when it doesn't go the way we want it to go.

Go with the flow.

What is going with the flow? It's rolling with the punches. It's accepting change without getting angry or frustrated. It's taking what life gives you, rather than trying to mold life to be exactly as you want it to be.

And what does this have to do with focusing? It's a reality that no matter how much we try to control our environment, so that we may focus on what's important, there will be interruptions and distractions. Our environment will constantly change, and we cannot completely control it.

And so, we must learn to accept this reality, and find focus within a changing environment. Here's how.

Realize that you can't control everything. I think we all know this at some level, but the way we think and act and feel many times contradicts this basic truth. We don't control the universe, and yet we seem to wish we could. All the wishful thinking won't make it so. You can't even control everything within your own little sphere of influence -- you can influence things, but many things are simply out of your control. In the example above, you can control your morning routine, but there will be things that happen from time to time (someone's sick, accident happens, phone call comes at 5 a.m. that disrupts things, etc.) that will make you break your routine. First step is realizing that these things will happen. Not might happen, but will. There are things that we cannot control that will affect every aspect of our lives, and we must must must accept that, or we will constantly be frustrated. Meditate on this for awhile.

Become aware. You can't change things in your head if you're not aware of them. You have to become an observer of your thoughts, a self-examiner. Be aware that you're becoming upset, so that you can do something about it. It helps to keep tally marks in a little notebook for a week -- every time you get upset, put a little tally. That's all -- just keep tally. And soon, because of that little act, you will become more aware of your anger and frustration.

Breathe. When you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated, take a deep breath. Take a few. This is an important step that allows you to calm down and do the rest of the things below. Practice this by itself and you'll have come a long way already.

Get perspective. If you get angry over something happening -- your car breaks down, your kids ruin something you're working on -- take a deep breath, and take a step back. Let your mind's eye zoom away, until you're far away above your life. Then whatever happened doesn't seem so important. A week from now, a year from now, this little incident won't matter a single whit. No one will care, not even you. So why get upset about it? Just let it go, and soon it won't be a big deal.

Practice. It's important to realize that, just like when you learn any skill, you probably won't be good at this at first. Who is good when they are first learning to write, or read, or drive? No one I know. Skills come with practice. So when you first learn to go with the flow, you will mess up. You will stumble and fall. That's OK -- it's part of the process. Just keep practicing, and you'll get the hang of it.

Laugh. It helps to see things as funny, rather than frustrating. Car broke down in the middle of traffic and I have no cell phone or spare tire? Laugh at my own incompetence. Laugh at the absurdity of the situation. That requires a certain amount of detachment -- you can laugh at the situation if you're above it, but not within it. And that detachment is a good thing. If you can learn to laugh at things, you've come a long way. Try laughing even if you don't think it's funny -- it will most likely become funny.

Realize that you can't control others. This is one of the biggest challenges. We get frustrated with other people, because they don't act the way we want them to act. Maybe it's our kids, maybe it's our spouse or significant other, maybe it's our coworker or boss, maybe it's our mom or best friend. But we have to realize that they are acting according to their personality, according to what they feel is right, and they are not going to do what we want all of the time. And we have to accept that. Accept that we can't control them, accept them for who they are, accept the things they do. It's not easy, but again, it takes practice.

Accept change and imperfection. When we get things the way we like them, we usually don't want them to change. But they will change. It's a fact of life. We cannot keep things the way we want them to be... instead, it's better to learn to accept things as they are. Accept that the world is constantly changing, and we are a part of that change. Also, instead of wanting things to be "perfect" (and what is perfect anyway?), we should accept that they will never be perfect, and we must accept good instead.

Enjoy life as a flow of change, chaos and beauty. Remember when I asked what "perfect" is, in the paragraph above? It's actually a very interesting question. Does perfect mean the ideal life and world that we have in our heads? Do we have an ideal that we try to make the world conform to? Because that will likely never happen. Instead, try seeing the world as perfect the way it is. It's messy, chaotic, painful, sad, dirty... and completely perfect. The world is beautiful, just as it is. Life is not something static, but a flow of change, never staying the same, always getting messier and more chaotic, always beautiful. There is beauty in everything around us, if we look at it as perfect.

"A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving."

Lao Tzu.

4: effortless action.