The Shy Duchess Part 21

Emily laughed, a wonderful, open, free, delighted sound Nicholas had never heard from her before. It was like the brilliant sun bursting forth on a cold, grey day. He wanted to hear more and more of it. He would do absolutely anything to make her laugh like that again.

"Oh, Nicholas," she cried, and threw her arms around his neck in the way he loved so much. "What a great fool I was not to tell you. Sally said so, but I did not believe her, and here she was quite right. I should have known you would understand-but I was afraid."

"Don't be afraid," he said, holding her close. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her sweet scent. "Never be afraid of me. There is just one more thing I need to know now, my dear."

"And what is that?" she asked. Her voice was m.u.f.fled against his shoulder as she clung to him.

"Where are you supposed to meet Rayburn to give him his blood money?"

Chapter Twenty-Three.

"I'm surprised you haven't decamped to France already, Rayburn," Nicholas said from the shadows. He had been waiting there at the top of the stairs in that shabby lodging house for hours, his anger slowly simmering. Now that anger was so cold it fairly burned. "You're rather late for your appointment."

Rayburn spun around, his fists clenched. Even in that half-light Nicholas could see the wild shock in the man's eyes, the flash of panic. Good-he should be terrified for daring to threaten Emily. The fact that he told her to come here, to his lodgings, told Nicholas that Rayburn wanted more than money from her, even though Emily had not seen it. The man was lower than the low.

Nicholas crossed his arms over his chest. "Surprised to see me, are you?"

Rayburn quickly regained his equilibrium and gave Nicholas a humourless, taunting smile. "So, the little mouse went and tattled on me, did she? She's braver than I thought."

"And you're even more foolish than I thought. Surely you'd know better than to insult my wife even further?"

"What else can you do to me, Manning? My life is ruined, my place in society gone, my fortune vanished, the lady I wanted to marry stolen by you. Not even a duke could make things worse for me now."

"I wouldn't place a bet on that if I were you, Rayburn. An infuriated husband is surely worse than any duke."

"Oh, so now you care about her, do you?" Rayburn sneered. "Everyone knows you were forced to marry, and just one more disgrace for your family. But now you come to her aid, when someone else seems to have feelings for her? Forgive me if I am not convinced-your Grace."

"I do not care whether you are convinced or not," Nicholas growled. "I only care that you leave my wife alone from now on. Do not even so much as look in her direction, or we will be having a very different sort of conversation."

Disgusted and fed up with having to even look at the villain, Nicholas half-turned toward the door to take his leave. He had to get back to what really mattered- Emily. But Rayburn suddenly lunged at him, catching him on the jaw with an unexpected blow that sent Nicholas reeling back against the wall. All his raw, burning fury was released and he let it all fly free, grabbing Rayburn and slamming him into the door. He curled his fists in the man's coat, holding him pinned there.

"You call blackmailing a lady, frightening her half to death, having feelings for her?" Nicholas said, tightening his fists as Rayburn tried to twist away. "I call it being a d.a.m.nable villain. Emily had a lucky escape when she did not marry you, you would have bled her sweet heart until she was crushed."

"And she's so much better off with you, is she? A brawler with an insane family?" Rayburn kicked out at Nicholas, driving him back, but only for an instant. Nicholas remembered all his lessons at Gerard's Saloon, and came back with a sharp right uppercut that sent Rayburn cras.h.i.+ng to the floor.

All that fury came pouring out of him as the small room rang with curses, shouts and the dull thud of blows. All his pa.s.sion for Emily, his struggle to be a good husband, that raw anger when he learned she was being threatened, was released in the primitive thrill of the fight.

This man would never hurt Emily again. As Nicholas drove his bare fist into Rayburn's face, he doubted any lady need fear from him ever again. This was over, for good.

"Wot's all this?" a woman suddenly screamed. "You're tearing up my house, you b.a.s.t.a.r.ds!"

Through that red haze of fight-fury, Nicholas felt tiny, sharp fists rain blows on his head. He tossed Rayburn aside and slumped back against the wall as a small, thin, grey-haired lady pummelled at him. Her wrinkled face under a grubby mob cap was contorted in a fury that surely surpa.s.sed even his own.

She kicked at Rayburn, who tried to crawl away from her even though he couldn't see where he was going through his swollen-shut eye.

"I knew it was a mistake to rent to the likes of you!" the woman shrieked. "You never paid your rent on time, and now you're bleeding all over my floor!"

Nicholas started to laugh, but winced as his lip gave a twinge. He held his hand to the blood dripping there, and saw he was contributing to the mess on the woman's floor. His knuckles were bruised and bleeding, his ribs on fire and his face aching, but Rayburn was in a worse state.

And certainly, Nicholas reflected as he watched the landlady finish the job he himself had begun on Rayburn's battered self, the man would never hara.s.s a female again. It was a good day's work.

The woman left off Rayburn, who finally lay still, and spun around to face Nicholas. His laughter faded.

"And you, sirrah!" she cried. "I don't know who you are, but you're no gentleman to be brawling in a lady's house like that."

"You are quite right, madam," he said, as best as he could through his split lip. "My deepest apologies."

"He must owe you money, too," she said. "People are pounding on this door day and night, demanding their coin."

"I'm sure they are. But he'll be gone soon enough, I a.s.sure you." Nicholas dug a handful of coins from inside his torn coat and pressed them in her hand. "Pay to have the room cleaned before you rent it out again, madam, with my deepest apologies."

A smile lit up her face. "I will, sir, thank you." She cast a baleful glance at Rayburn, who was slowly sitting up on the floor. "And what about him?"

"I'll take care of him."

The woman gave a cackling laugh. "I'm sure you will at that!" She hurried out of the room without a backward look, clutching at the coins.

"Get out of England, Rayburn, as fast as you can," Nicholas said. "And pray no one in my family ever sees you again, or this afternoon will seem like the merest trifle."

And he turned on his heel and followed the woman out of that cursed room. She was nowhere to be seen as he left the house, but Rayburn's incoherent curses followed him out the door.

His carriage waited at the end of the narrow street, and he collapsed on the seat with a groan. Only now could he feel the aches of nearly every blow, every cut, but it was certainly all worth it. A brawl was surely not as gentlemanly as a duel, but it was far more satisfying.

And Emily, his sweet Emily, was safe now. That was the most important thing of all.

Chapter Twenty-Four.

"You ridiculous, wonderful fool." Emily slowly soaked a cloth in cold water and rang it out, pressing it gently to the bruise on Nicholas's cheek as he lay stretched out on the chaise in her bedchamber. That bruise was turning purple and yellow at the edges, a vivid reminder of the violence and noise of the afternoon.

She had to admit it gave her a strange sort of satisfaction. Not that Nicholas was hurt, never that. But that he had defended her, like a knight of old with his damsel. She had never imagined anyone would do such a thing for her. She wasn't the sort of woman men fought over, were pa.s.sionate about. It was rather-thrilling.

As long as it never happened again.

"Why do you smile like that?" he said hoa.r.s.ely. "Are you making fun of the ruin of my pretty face?"

Emily laughed, and he smiled up at her, only to wince at the movement. She pressed the cloth closer. "It is certainly very colourful. Does it hurt terribly?"

"Truthfully, it hardly hurts at all. But I'm very willing to swear it's absolutely excruciating if it means you will stay close to me."

"I won't go anywhere, whether it hurts or not." She smoothed his rumpled hair back from his brow. Despite the circ.u.mstances, she loved this moment with him, just the two of them in her quiet room, bound together by all that had happened. Even the woman in the portrait, who had haunted Emily ever since she saw her, seemed far away now. "Wherever did you learn to fight like that?"

He shrugged. "When you grow up with brothers like mine you learn to defend yourself. And I go to Gerard's Saloon. They will beat the daylights out of anyone who pays them enough, and they've taught me well."

"Indeed they have. You were certainly not the one who had the, er, daylight beaten out of them today. I'm sure Mr Rayburn will be fortunate if he can even walk tomorrow."

Nicholas gave a smugly satisfied laugh. "It was rather well done, I think. I can be fearsome when I wish."

"Oh, yes. I doubt he will ever try to blackmail a lady again."

"He won't be allowed into any drawing room in London again, either," Nicholas said grimly. "He will go abroad and stay there if he has any sense of self-preservation at all. Or perhaps he should go to Canada or India, if he truly wants to stay out of our way."

"I don't think we need to worry about it. He won't come around here again, I'm sure." Emily rinsed out the cloth again, trying to collect all her scattered thoughts. She knew truly what she owed Nicholas now; she knew what she had to say to him. She simply didn't know the words. How exactly did a woman set free a man she loved so desperately?

"You are a good friend to me, Nicholas," she said. "I can never repay you for all you have given me."

He frowned up at her. "I am your husband, Em. There is no question of repaying."

"Of course there is. You have given me so much: a home, a family, a position in society where I can do my work. You've even come to fisticuffs over me! My Galahad. Our marriage has, I fear, never been as open and honest as marriage should be. Even the beginning of our betrothal was based on a scandalous lie. But I will not do that any longer. I care about you too much."

I love you. Those words hovered on her tongue, longing to be said. She forced them away. This was the moment to let him go, not hold him to her, no matter how much she wanted to. No matter how bleak she feared her life would be without him.

"I can find my own residence," she said. "Or move to another apartment here at Manning House-this place is so vast. No one ever needs to know the truth, I won't bring more gossip on to you."

"Em, please." He grabbed her hand, forcing her to look at him again. Raw sorrow was written on his face, more vivid than that bruise. Worse, it seemed to be a bruise from the inside, a wound from his very heart. "What is the meaning of this? Is there something else you aren't telling me?"

"Only that I saw that miniature, the portrait of your Valentina that you kept in the desk at Welbourne. I did not mean to pry, but the hinge came loose and I saw her there. I know how much you miss her, and that I can never replace her in your heart. I don't want you to feel obligated to me any more..."

"Obligated? Is that what you think? That I can't let her go? That I can't move into the future with you?"

"I fear I don't know what to think. When it comes to you, Nicholas, and to our life together, I can only- feel."

"Emily." Nicholas kissed the top of her head. The tender touch made her want to cry. "I do love her memory, and I always will. I never knew love like that before her. Now I keep her portrait close to remember all she taught me."

"What did she teach you?" Emily thought surely Valentina had taught him what Nicholas himself had taught her-how to love, how to truly care and thus to put another person first. It was a truly wonderful thing.

"She taught me to be careful with the ones we love, to never take a moment with them for granted. To never put them in any danger. Yet I fear I forget that last lesson all too often."

"What do you mean? I have never seen anyone take such care with the people around them as you do," Emily protested. "You take such care of me and of all your brothers and sisters..."

Nicholas gave her a sad smile. "I fear I did not take care of Valentina. She died in childbirth, you see, and the poor baby with her."

"Oh. Oh, Nicholas, I am so very sorry," Emily whispered. How he must have suffered, losing the woman he loved so much and their child, too. Being suddenly alone in the world after knowing that love for such a short time. Her heart ached for him. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder, wis.h.i.+ng she could take that pain away from him.

"My darling Emily," he said, kissing her on her brow. "I am sorry I forgot that lesson, that I put you in danger."

"That is nonsense! You saved me from danger, you went after Mr Rayburn. What do you even mean, you put me in danger?" Then she realised what he must truly mean. She drew back, staring at him in shock. "Nicholas. You think I will die in childbirth, too."

He just looked back at her, all that pain written starkly on his face. She felt tears p.r.i.c.kle at her eyes and she dashed them away. He feared to lose the same things she did-their marriage, and the happiness they had somehow found against all the odds. She had never thought this could happen, not to her. It was all too glorious, and she was going to fight for it with everything she had.

"I can't lose you, my sweetest Emily," he said. "I've only just found you. I never thought I could love anyone again after Valentina, not until you came into my life. You are the kindest, dearest woman I have ever known, and I-need you. That's all. I need you."

Tears spilled from her eyes at his words. "You can't possibly need me half as much as I need you, my Galahad," she said. She rested her head on his shoulder again, closing her eyes to listen to his heartbeat, his breath, to revel in the heat and strength of him. She wanted nothing but to stay there close to him for ever, revelling in the joyous knowledge that he loved her. He was hers-they belonged to each other.

"I only felt half-alive until I found you," she said. "Now I see everything so much more vividly, I see the colour in everything, the whole world. I want to dance and laugh all the time, and I am a terrible dancer! Most of all, I want everyone to feel just as I do, just as happy."

Nicholas laughed and kissed her temple. "Everyone?"

"Well-maybe not Mr Rayburn." Emily drew back to look up at him. She felt so urgently that she had to make him understand all he had done with her. All she felt for him. "You are the one who has given me that joy, Nicholas. I'm so proud and happy to be your wife. I could not bear it if being with me has taken away your joy. I only want you to be happy."

"I am happy with you." He gently took her face in his hands, as if she was a most precious jewel. He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, her lips. "I want to protect you, to keep you safe."

"And you do. Who else would have thrashed a man like that, simply for trying to get a little money from me?" She covered his hands with hers, holding him to her. "But none of us can be completely safe in life. I want to have children-your children. You would be the most wonderful father, and this house needs some life in it. It scares me, too. But I am stronger than I look, I'm ridiculously healthy, and I have you to help me."

"I will always help you, Emily, in anything you want."

"And do you want a family with me?"

His jaw tightened, but he nodded. "I do. I want us to have everything life can give us, together."

"And we will." Emily smiled up at him, her wonderful, handsome, strong-hearted husband, full of wild joy and bright hope. "Oh, Nicholas. With you by me, I feel I can do anything at all!"

"With you, I know I can." Nicholas kissed her, warm and lingering, all his heart in that embrace, all their burning hope for a glorious future together. "I love you, Emily. My wife, my perfect d.u.c.h.ess."

"And I love you," she whispered. She gathered all her courage around her for what she had to say now. "With all my heart. But there is something I must tell you now."

Nicholas laughed. "More revelations, my dear? I'm not sure I can take it."

Emily watched him steadily. He wouldn't like what she had to say, at least not at first. She had to persuade him all would be well. "You are not the only one to carry secrets, I fear. And now I must tell you mine."

She took his hand and pressed it flat over her stomach. For a moment, he looked puzzled-but then his eyes widened and she could see that he knew.

"Truly, Em?" he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. Was he happy-or angry?

"I have not yet seen the doctor, but I believe it is true," she said. "It must have happened the morning after our wedding."

He didn't answer, but his arms came around her very tightly, pulling her close against him. "We're going to have a baby?"

"Yes. And you needn't worry, my darling. I am very strong, much stronger than I look, and I will have you to help me. All will be well, I am very sure," she said quickly, trying her hardest to rea.s.sure him-and herself.

He stopped her words with a fierce kiss. She felt all his emotions in that kiss, all the feelings she shared with him, all the joy, hope and fear.

"You will have all the best doctors in the country, nurses, midwives, everything," he said, kissing her again.