Do You Take This Rebel? Part 19

"I was until a few minutes ago," she said. "Do you want to come in?"

"No," he said, then, "Yes."

A faint smile touched her lips, then faded. "Can't make up your mind?"

"I shouldn't be here."

"Why not? We are are married. I have a paper that says so." married. I have a paper that says so."

"Yeah, but we both know..." His voice trailed off.

"What? That it's not real?"

He nodded. What amazed him right now, though, was that it felt real, even though it wasn't supposed to. He wanted her. He wanted all the things they had once talked about...a future, a family, a home. He wanted to make love to Ca.s.sie Collins Davis and prove that she was finally his.

He gazed into her eyes, saw the little spark of desire, caught the way her lips parted as if she was about to speak...or about to welcome his kiss. He steeled himself against his own traitorous desire and took a step back.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have disturbed you," he said stiffly.

"Cole-"

"No, Ca.s.sie. I am not coming in there." He said it as if she were the one who'd set out to tempt him, rather than take responsibility for his own actions in coming to her door.

"Then why are you here?"

"I wish to G.o.d I knew."

She nodded at that. The hope that had been in her eyes dimmed, then died. Her expression hardened. "Then do me a favor," she said quietly. "Don't come back until you do."

He wanted to argue that she was his wife and that he'd d.a.m.n well come and go as he pleased, but what was the point? She was right. He had no business being here, not unless he was willing to forgive and forget, and he was far from ready to do that. He wasn't sure he would ever ever be able to do that. be able to do that.

But as he turned and walked away, as he heard the whisper of her sigh as the door clicked shut behind him, he wondered if he hadn't just consigned them both-not just her, but the two of them-to a life of pure h.e.l.l.

Ca.s.sie hadn't thought it was possible to be any more miserable than she had been waiting for Cole to decide what he wanted from her, but she'd been wrong. This so-called marriage was worse. Much worse.

To be so close to a man she loved and know that he didn't trust her, that, in fact, he all but hated her, was sheer torment. Whatever hope she had felt when he'd held her in his arms just a few short weeks ago at the reunion dance was gone. The hunger and heat stirred by his touch was little more than cold ashes now. All of it had been lost due to her years of deceit.

The day after the wedding she got up, got dressed and waited for some sign from Cole of what he expected. When he hadn't come by nine, she ordered breakfast in her room. She was tempted to change clothes and go to work, but Stella would have been appalled, and tongues all over town would have wagged. Ca.s.sie felt the same way about going to church. To arrive alone on the morning after her wedding would have stirred all sorts of comment.

By noon, though, she was going stir-crazy. Grabbing her keys, she went downstairs, got in her car and headed for Karen's. If ever there was a time to be with her best friends, this was it.

She found all four Calamity Janes seated around the kitchen table debating the merits of various gourmet coffees. Well, Lauren and Gina were debating them, anyway. Karen and Emma were exchanging amused looks. All of them looked up, clearly startled, as Ca.s.sie walked in.

"Any of that coffee left for me?" she asked as if her arrival was nothing out of the ordinary. "And I don't care what kind it is, as long as it's strong."

Karen jumped up, pulled out a chair for her and poured the coffee, as the others simply stared.

"Stop it," Ca.s.sie ordered. "I haven't grown two heads overnight, have I?"

"It's just a surprise," Gina began cautiously. "You got married yesterday. I thought-we all thought..."

"Well, you thought wrong," she said succinctly.

"Where's Cole?"

Ca.s.sie shrugged. "Beats me. I haven't seen him since last night."

Emma scowled. "The man walked out on you right after your wedding night?"

"Only in the loosest interpretation of that," Ca.s.sie said mildly. "Technically there was no wedding night. And he never walked in, much less out."

Gina clasped her hand. "Explain," she ordered. "Then we can go strangle him."

Ca.s.sie opened her mouth, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, all the hurt and humiliation bubbled up from deep inside. Great choking sobs emerged, taking her and the rest of them by surprise.

For an instant her friends just sat there. Then they were all around her, patting her back, handing her tissues and describing Cole in such unflattering terms that eventually even Ca.s.sie began to smile.

"He is not meaner and uglier than a hound dog," she said, sniffing. "That's the trouble. I'm only getting what I deserve."

"Don't be absurd," Emma snapped. "You don't deserve to be treated like this, abandoned on your wedding night."

"You, of all people, know why we got married. This wasn't a love match."

"Oh, of course it was," Lauren retorted, haughtily dismissing the claim. "And the sooner the two of you realize it, the sooner you can get on with the business of being married. Cole's just being bullheaded."

"I lied to him," Ca.s.sie reminded her.

"And you've apologized. Jake's in his life now. Cole needs to get over the past and move on."

"Otherwise, I'll be down at the courthouse first thing tomorrow filing for an annulment," Emma threatened.

"I think I'm the one who'd have to do that," Ca.s.sie teased, amazed at how much better she felt knowing these women were on her side. That they knew the whole story-or most of it-and loved her anyway.

Emma frowned. "You know what I meant. He is not going to get away with tormenting you."

Karen, silent up until now, reached for Ca.s.sie's hand. "Do you still love him?" she asked quietly.

"Of course I do," she said without hesitation. Only in the past few days with misery building at the distance between them had she realized just how much.

"Have you told him that?"

"Not in so many words."

"Why not?"

"Because he'd throw the words back in my face."

Karen shook her head. "I don't think so-but so what if he does? You just keep saying 'em till he gets the message. Don't let pride stand in your way, Ca.s.sie. Life is too short to waste a single second of it."

The message was powerful enough on its own, but coming from Karen, who'd so recently lost her beloved husband, it carried additional weight.

"Talk to him," Karen insisted. "And do it now. Hanging around here with us isn't solving your problem."

Ca.s.sie wasn't so sure about that. Being here with her friends had given her a sense of peace. Karen's advice had solidified her resolve to make this marriage work. She stood up and gave each of her friends a hug.

"You guys are the best," she said. "I knew if I came here I'd feel better."

"Now go back there and give him h.e.l.l," Emma said.

"Tell him you love him," Karen corrected, poking Emma in the ribs.

Emma sighed. "Whatever. But call me if you want to nail the guy's hide in court."

"Emma, you really do have to learn to express yourself less subtly," Gina teased. "No one can ever figure out what you're thinking."

"Emma's just a pa.s.sionate defender of the underdog," Lauren said. "There's nothing wrong with that. It's why she's so good in court. Now leave her alone."

"Yeah, leave me alone," Emma said. "I'm not the same little wimp you guys used to walk all over."

"Really?" Gina asked with exaggerated shock.

Ca.s.sie chuckled at all the bantering and left Karen's with her heart lighter and her determination renewed. No matter how long it took, she was going to win Cole's heart again.

Unfortunately, as the first weeks of her marriage crept by with no thawing of Cole's att.i.tude, Ca.s.sie slowly sank into despair again. Though the three of them-she, Cole and Jake-frequently shared meals, Cole made it a point never to be alone with her. Their conversations were limited to plans for the house and anything concerning their son. He didn't discuss his work or his days, and he never asked about hers. The wall between them was getting thicker and thicker with each pa.s.sing week. She began to think it would take a wrecking ball to break it down.

Thankfully, though, Cole's chilly att.i.tude didn't extend to Jake. The time he spent with his son, making up for all the lost years, was the only thing that kept Ca.s.sie going. Their bond was growing stronger day by day, and Jake was flouris.h.i.+ng with all of the male attention.

Coming back to the hotel after her s.h.i.+ft at Stella's, which she had refused to give up, she glanced into Cole's office and saw them, their heads bent over the computer keyboard. Jake was peppering Cole with a thousand questions, which he answered with an endless supply of patience.

Ca.s.sie sighed heavily. Would her own relations.h.i.+p with her husband ever reach that stage again? Would there ever be the easy camaraderie they'd once shared? Only one thing gave her any hope at all. Despite Cole's cold att.i.tude, she could tell that he still wanted her. From time to time she caught him watching her, his gaze hooded. On occasion he reached out, as if to touch her, only to withdraw without making contact. It was evident that the embers of their pa.s.sion hadn't entirely cooled.

Even without Karen's advice still ringing in her ears, she knew she had a choice to make. She could endure this marriage and keep her pride, or she could risk her heart to change it. She had opted for pride once and nearly lost everything. This time she wouldn't make the same mistake.

s.e.x wasn't love, but it was a means of communication, an undeniable form of intimacy, of sharing. Slowly she would turn Cole's desire into need.

And over time she prayed she could turn it into love.

Chapter Fourteen.

Ca.s.sie was driving Cole crazy. First there had been the constant hurt in her eyes, which left him filled with guilt.

Then there'd been unmistakable signs of anger. That had stiffened his resolve, prepared him for a battle that hadn't come.

Now lately she had been doing everything in her power to seduce him. The changes were keeping him dizzy and off balance, wavering between guilt and yearning.

He'd tried telling himself that this last, sly attempt to seduce was merely wishful thinking on his part, but there was no mistaking the intent of her glancing touches, the subtle perfume, the suddenly provocative attire on a woman who'd always preferred denim to lace. She wanted him and she intended to get him, by fair means or foul.

And he, blast it all, was losing the battle. How could he hold out against a woman he'd spent the past ten years wanting?

"Cole?"

"Hmm?" he responded distractedly. When she stroked his cheek with a lingering caress, his gaze shot up. Where had she come from? She rarely entered his room without knocking, but here she was, lips moist, color high. He eyed her suspiciously. "What?"

"Do you have a minute?" she asked, her expression all innocence as her hand fell away.

She was wearing white shorts and some skimpy little triangle of fabric that pretended to be a blouse. Aside from a few bows holding it all together, her back was bare, as were her feet. Rather than her usual pale-pink, she had painted her toenails a kick-a.s.s-red. Staring down at those erotic little toes, he lost his train of thought completely.

"Cole, do you have a minute?" she repeated, amus.e.m.e.nt threading through her voice.

"I suppose," he said uneasily. "Is there a problem with Jake?"

"No. He's fine. He's spending the night with my mother. He won't be back till after lunchtime tomorrow."

Uh-oh, he thought. They were alone. She was in his room, not her own, and she was wearing that s.e.xy scent again, the one that made his pulse pound.

"The house?" he asked, sounding a little desperate even to his own ears. He cleared his throat. "Is there a problem with the house? I, um, I could call the contractor." He reached for the phone, clung to it as if it were a lifeline.

She smiled. "Nope. It's coming along right on schedule."

That left what? he wondered, battling panic as he reluctantly set the phone aside. What the d.i.c.kens did she want? Besides him, of course. Oh, she definitely wanted him, he concluded, meeting her gaze and discovering the heat there.

"Then what's on your mind?" he asked, resigned to a really tough test of his willpower.

She edged closer, sat on the corner of his desk, her gaze locked with his, her very bare thigh nudging his. Even through his own jeans, he could feel the temperature of her skin soar. His body reacted predictably with a rush of blood straight to his groin.

This was a dangerous game she was playing. He wondered if she realized it. One glance into her smoldering eyes answered that. She knew, all right. And she was enjoying every single second of making him sweat, of watching him struggle with himself to do the right thing. She was deliberately trying to blast his conscience right out of the water.

"Ca.s.sie?" he prodded, a hitch in his voice.

A purely female smile came and went. "I'm not making you nervous, am I?"

Nervous? h.e.l.l, no. He was coming unglued. He was about to go up in flames.

"This..." He cleared his throat yet again. "This isn't wise."