The Family Man Part 31

"John Henry Archer," says Henry.

Lillian brings a long loaf of bread wrapped in aluminum foil to the table and takes her seat. "What do you think she meant by 'friend'?" she asks.

"Buddy," says Henry. "Maybe confidant and free legal hotline."

"Co-parent, don't forget," says Todd.

"I noticed..." Lillian begins. "When she came to your brunch..." She stops, shakes her head.

"Ma, what?"

Lillian says, "Please help yourself to salad."

"Were you going to say that Denise was too chummy?" asks Henry. "Seemed too much at home?"

Lillian doesn't look up from the task of quartering a meatball. "It's understandable. You were married to her once."

"And you're worried he'd do that again?" Todd asks.

Henry, smiling, says, "I can promise you, if I were going to set up housekeeping with a nice widow, it wouldn't be Denise Krouch."

"Maybe that's not the most rea.s.suring thing she ever heard," says Todd.

"You know what's lovely?" Henry asks. "That your mother has added me to her list of people and things to worry about."

Lillian takes a sip of red wine, Henry's hostess gift, before asking, "Are you going back to this therapist with Denise?"

"I promised her that if she'd see someone, I'd go along. The easiest thing was to call up my ex-shrink rather than start asking around for recommendations or explaining my whole life to a stranger. Don't forget the groundwork had been set through years of my talking about the divorce and what that wrought in terms of custody. But to answer your question, Denise is returning. I'm not."

"How's the daughter?" Lillian asks. "Still seeing that boy?"

"Which one?" Todd asks with a wink for Henry.

"The actor."

"We don't think it's going to last much longer," Todd says.

"It's complicated," says Henry. "Not a conventional romance. It's more of what you might consider a courtesy."

"You met her," says Todd. "You saw what a good sport she is. She's seeing him as-okay if I say it?-a favor."

Henry searches for words that will be code for Don't make me violate the confidentiality agreement once again. He tries, "You know how young people are. Why they see each other and what they see in each other is a mystery. In this case, especially, discretion is the better part of valor."

Lillian whispers, "Is he married?"

Todd says, "If only."

"You want her to be dating a married man?"

"I meant if only he were a married man, he wouldn't have needed..." Todd looks to Henry. "A favor," says Henry.

"Is this another gay situation?" Lillian asks.

Todd says, "A very good guess, but no."

"She never got that part, did she? In his Civil War movie? Was that it? She wasn't in love with him but she thought it might help her career if she went out with a director? You can tell me. I know the way the world works, and I won't think any less of her."

"Or us," says Todd. "Her enablers." He puts his knife and fork down. "It's a flop. A grand scheme that never got off the ground."

"Stop beating around the bush," says Lillian. "What grand scheme?"

When Henry doesn't answer, Todd says, "C'mon. Thalia wouldn't mind."

"It's not Thalia who can sue me for breach of contract!"

"I won't tell a living soul," says Lillian.

"And she is, you have to admit, the queen of don't-ask-don't-tell," says Todd. "She didn't ask me a single personal question in forty-some-odd years."

Henry says wearily, "Thalia was contracted by a publicity firm to be Leif Dumont's arm candy, i.e., girlfriend. It was supposed to make the papers, big gossip item. Confirmed bachelor finds true love."

"That's it?" says Lillian. "That's the secret? I thought it was going to be some big scandal that someone could go to prison for."

Henry says, "Well, there's that, too. An underage girlfriend back in California-"

"Unconsummated, according to Thalia," says Todd.

"Is she disappointed?" Lillian asks. "Do you think she was hoping it might start as a business arrangement, but then turn into something more?"

"Thalia is philosophical," Henry says.

"She can be," says Todd. "We think there are many suitors waiting in the wings."

"What about her mother? I don't know her well enough to judge, but she strikes me as the kind of person who might want to throw a celebrity wedding so she could see herself on The Insider"

"For better or for worse," says Henry, "Denise took an instant dislike to Leif based on the most superficial reasons-"

"His looks," says Todd. "Whereas Henry delved below the surface to the man's undetectable personality."

"Either way, nothing fuels a daughter's interest like a parent's disapproval," says Henry.

"'Interest' is too strong," says Todd. "More like 'fueled Thalia's humanity.' It offends her that the papers call him names based on his appearance."

"Not a good-looking man?" Lillian asks.

"Not even a good-looking monster," says Todd.

"I'm surprised at you," says Lillian. "Daddy and I didn't raise you to judge people by their exteriors. He can't help the way he looks.'

"Todd was being literal," Henry tells her. "Leif's work is mostly in horror films, which he'd like to break out of."

"Any I might have seen?"

Todd laughs.

"You don't know every movie I see," she says.

"Name one horror film you've seen."

"Phantom of the Opera. And what's the Alfred Hitchc.o.c.k movie where the girl gets stabbed in the shower? Not The Birds. The other one.'

"Psycho" says Henry.

"I saw that in the theater when it first came out. I may even have seen a sequel." She smiles a shaky smile. "I always loved Anthony Perkins." Her face changes. "When he died in real life, I was so upset.'

"Translation," says Todd. "Gay. From AIDS. Very hard to maintain dinnertime joie de vivre when one's own son is in the same risk pool.'

Lillian says, "No one's touched the garlic bread.'

"I will,' says Henry.

Lillian says quietly, "It won't be good reheated.'

"I love Italian food," Henry says. "Every time I watched The Sopranos and they were eating at Artie's restaurant, I'd pick up the phone and order something close to whatever house specialty Artie was whipping up for Tony and Carmela."

Lillian says, "We don't get HBO." And after a pause. "His wife died on one of the planes that flew into the twin towers."

"Anthony Perkins's wife, she means,' says Todd.

"I'd forgotten that,' says Henry. "Almost incomprehensible.'

"They had two boys," says Lillian.

Todd says, "This is the longest and possibly the only conversation we've had about Anthony Perkins at this table."

"I understand," says Henry. "We feel as if we know these actors. Then you find out he's sick, and you're upset, but keep it to yourself because you hadn't yet had that discussion with Todd."

"It's not rational," says Todd. "She knows I'm fine and you're fine."

"It's not that," Lillian says.

"Great," says Todd. "Let's have a guessing game. Whose turn is it to guess what's made my mother go silent. Anybody?"

"Nothing is wrong. I'm eating my dinner. If you need to inspect Denise's ruined apartment, and if Denise needs to see a therapist, there are plenty more important things in this world for me to worry about."

"Not Denise, then," says Todd. "Okay. Maybe nothing at all, just a long pause in the conversation so you could twirl your spaghetti into your soup spoon."

"I hope I didn't say anything to worry you, Lillian," says Henry.

Todd tilts his upper body toward his mother to ask, "Did you ever think I'd bring home such a mensch?"

Lillian puts both utensils down. "Do you know what my friends say, every single one, when I tell them about Henry? 'Don't get too attached! It's a recipe for heartbreak. You get attached to the person your kid's dating, and then they break up and you suffer more than they do.'"

"Who are these relations.h.i.+p experts?" Todd demands. "Aunt Mim, whose kids see her twice a year? Or your yenta bridge partners who only recently realized that faygeleh is politically incorrect? One of those geniuses?"

Lillian says quietly, "Some new friends. In PFLAG."

"PFLAG? No wonder," says Todd. "You're probably talking to the parents and friends of promiscuous gays and lesbians!"

"They're very nice," says Lillian. "I enjoy the meetings. And I really don't think anyone I've met has a promiscuous son or daughter, at least from our conversations."

Henry says, "Your friends don't want you to get hurt. Even in my very limited experience as Thalia's father, I can see myself getting attached to one of these beaus, and then what happens? They disappear from view overnight. It's like a death."

"Um, Henry?" Todd says. "Can you say something rea.s.suring now?"

Henry reaches across the table and covers Lillian's hand with his. "What would rea.s.sure you, Lillian?"

"Maybe if I knew that you weren't seeing anyone else besides Todd..."

"I'm not."

"Because I know that with men it can be very hard to be monogamous. They're built different than women."

"Why all of a sudden?" asks Todd. "Besides the social education you're getting at PFLAG. Is something else going on?"

Lillian's chin quivers.

"Are you crying?" Henry asks.

"I think I know what this is," says Todd. He gets out of his chair, stands behind his mother, and ma.s.sages her shoulders. Above her head he mouths worried, then pantomimes with his fist the opening and closing of myocardial valves.

"Your last checkup was good?" Henry asks her.

"Same old stuff: my pressure, my reflux, my weight, my cholesterol, the arthritis in my toes. No big thing."

Todd says, "So of course she's worried about who will raise me after she's gone."

"It's not funny to me," says Lillian. "I know you're a grown man. You can take care of yourself, and you'll stay here after I'm gone because your name's on the lease. It has nothing to do with who will raise you." She finds a crumpled tissue in an ap.r.o.n pocket and blows her nose. "It's about who will love you."

"Ma-"

"I will, Lillian," Henry says.

33. Not What Was Prescribed.