The Good Life Part 14

"No, I want to explain this to you," I said. "Bartending is a respectable profession. It requires a lot of skill."

He sighed and rolled over to face the ceiling. I guess he was giving up on getting me to drop it.

"Serving food and drinks is not as cool of a job," I explained. "It doesn't require any skill, except patience. And the ability to smile in someone's face when you really want to squeeze lemons in their eyes. It's a fine job for someone in school, someone younger. I just feel that, at my age, I should be able to get a more professional job."

"I get it," he said through clenched teeth.

"The reason I have been too embarra.s.sed to get my job back at The Bar is because I feel like working where I worked eight years ago is moving backward, ya know?"

"If you were moving forward in the wrong direction, maybe moving backward isn't a bad thing," he said.

"No, maybe not," I said thoughtfully.

We were both quiet for a few minutes. Long enough for him to relax again. He took my hand in his and started running his finger up and down the inside of my palm.

Then I remembered something else he said yesterday.

"And one more thing," I said.

He dropped my hand and groaned. He knew where this was going. "Just let it go."

"I didn't choose him over you."

He took a deep breath. I could tell that my usually calm and patient friend was starting to lose that infamous patience. He sat up again. "I'm going back to my room."

"No," I said, pulling him back down. "I won't talk about it again. Just have your facts straight. I didn't choose him over you because I didn't have you to choose. You told me long-distance relations.h.i.+ps were stupid. You said it was best for us both to move on. So I did. And there is no reason to talk about it again."

"Agreed."

I have always been a huge fan of road trips as long as the weather was nice. Winter road trips were awful, sucky, nuggets of c.r.a.p. Summer road trips were the most fun to be had in a car.

Never mind. What was I saying? Jake and I had plenty of fun in cars during The Summer of Jake and Roxie. Most of the time when the car wasn't moving ... if you know what I mean. And a few times when it was, wink wink. I know, it's totally juvenile, but I mentioned before that we had to get creative at times. I had more fun with Jake in cars and trucks that summer than I ever had in my Manhattan bed, even with the best sheets and comforters money could buy.

Anyway, I'm digressing. Our first stop was McDonald's because both of us had a few drinks last night and stayed up way too late. Everyone knows a McDonald's c.o.ke is the best hangover cure you can get through a drive-thru. Knowing I was about to set out on what I hoped would be a great adventure, I was in a fantastic mood. When we got to the window to pay, I told the girl working the drive-thru that I was going to pay for the order of the person behind me, too.

"What'd you do that for?" Jake asked.

I shrugged. "It's the little gestures that can really make a person's day." I didn't mention that GLL Challenge #3 was to do something nice for a stranger.

After McDonald's, we stopped at the gas station to fill up ... on candy. It would be criminal to go on a road trip without gummy bears.

Jake did most of the driving while I was in charge of entertainment. The eight hour drive went by quickly, thanks to my expertise in road trip playlists and conversational games. He was so easy to be around, especially when we were just hanging out and acting like friends and not having any dramatic meltdowns.

We arrived in NYC (aka My Soulmate) at around 4pm. I moved to the driver's seat to give him a drive-by tour of some of Manhattan's most popular spots. We drove through Times Square, downtown and the former site of the World Trade Center, as well as Battery Park and the Statue of Liberty, Grand Central, Rockefeller Center, and Central Park.

I know this sounds ridiculous, but being back in The City made me feel like a completely different person. In Ann Arbor I was pathetic and whiny, but NYC gave me a confidence I'd never been able to find anywhere else. No job? Big deal. No husband? Big deal. New York does that to people. It's like a drug. It makes people happy.

Jake was having a good time, too. He did non-stop clicking on his camera during the drive-through tour and also had a permanent smile on his face.

By the time we'd driven around the island, I was starving and ready to get out of the car. We had a double room reserved at The Plaza Hotel. I'd tried getting us a room at the Soho Grande or Tribeca Grande, but they were booked. The Plaza would have to do (sniff sniff). It was probably better that we stayed on the Upper Side anyway less chance of running into Caleb up there. The last thing I wanted was for Caleb or his lawyer or any of his friends to see me with Jake. It wouldn't look good, especially since I was there to try to get more money from him.

I was used to being a spoiled princess, so I walked into the hotel with my head held high and acted as if I belonged there. When we got into the room, I lied down on my stomach on one of the beds and checked out the room service menu.

"What do you feel like for dinner?" I asked him. "We can go out, eat downstairs or order room service or delivery."

"Um ..." he looked dumbstruck by all of it. He wouldn't have been any less obvious if he had the word "tourist" tattooed on his forehead. "You're the one who knows what you're doing. You decide."

I rolled over onto my side and propped my head up on my wrist. "I'm way too hungry right now to bother getting ready to go out so I vote for room service."

He agreed to room service for dinner as long as we could go out later on so he could take some pictures of the city at night. We were driving home tomorrow after the meeting so he only had one night in New York. I wanted to stay longer (like forever), but I was only supposed to use Caleb's travel expense account for divorce-related stuff, like meetings and court. I didn't think it would be right to stay longer than I needed to and bill him for it.

"I love room service," I told Jake once the food arrived and I was digging into a bunch of yummy carbs. We each sat cross-legged on our own beds while we ate. "Sometimes it's nice to be able to enjoy a fine cooked meal while wearing cutoff shorts, yesterday's makeup and a ponytail. Don't you think?"

"I would rather die than wear cutoff shorts," he said like a smarta.s.s. "But yeah, this steak is great. I can see how you got sucked into this world."

"I didn't get sucked in," I said, defensively. "It's not some kind of cult, Jake. I chose to live here. And even though my marriage didn't work out, I don't regret moving here. This is where I belong."

"I didn't mean the city sucked you in. I was talking about all of the rich people stuff. Like this hotel. And room service. You seem like a completely different person when you're here. I feel like I don't even know you right now."

Hmm. He was right. He really didn't know this version of me. "Do you want to know me?"

He set his fork on his plate and looked at me thoughtfully and then shrugged. "I'm not sure." That's Jake. Always honest.

When we were done getting ready for the night, I took Jake on a photography/barhopping night in NYC. My annoyance with him and the comment he'd made about not wanting to know me left me confused and frustrated. I took my frustrations out on my hair and face. A person can always tell what kind of mood I'm in by the amount of makeup on my face. If you see black eyeliner, walk the other way.

I put on my new hot pink peep-toes, the ones I'd bought at Barney's the day Caleb told me he wanted a divorce. I hadn't been able to wear them yet, and this city was made for shoes like these. People in Ann Arbor wouldn't know the difference between a Louboutin and a Balenciaga while some women in New York could name your shoe designer from three blocks away.

I introduced Jake to the world of NYC transportation by using both taxis and the subway. I also showed him all about overpriced drinking. We went to bars in Chelsea, Murray Hill, the Meatpacking District and waited thirty minutes to get up on the garden rooftop bar at 230 Fifth where he oohed and ahhed and snapped like I knew he would.

By the time we got downtown to see Hope at her martini bar, we were both pretty buzzed. She didn't know I was coming and screamed out loud when she saw me.

"Who is this stunning young man you've brought into my bar?" was the first question. No hi, how are you, what are you doing here just who is the guy.

"Hope, this is Jake. Jake Hope."

"Oh," she said with a nod of recognition. "The roommate slash ex-boyfriend slash lifelong friend of the family who you accidentally had s.e.x with?"

"Yeah," I replied. "More than once."

"Nice going!" she said in approval. Jake was standing right next to me and even though the music was loud, Hope was also loud, so I was pretty sure he could hear the conversation. Especially when he looked at me with that s.h.i.+t-eating grin I loved to hate.

"Come on, I'll buy you a drink," she said, pulling me over to the bar. "You look great. You look young and happy, like the old fun Roxie again. How's the list?" she asked while she shook up some watermelon juice martinis.

"It's fine," I said. I gave her a look that I hoped she would understand. It meant not to talk about the list right now.

She looked back at me like she didn't understand. "There's a photo booth over there," she said. "You know, in case you need one."

Ah ha. GLL Challenge #6 Get your photo taken in a photo booth ... Topless. And GLL Challenge #7 Give the photo to someone.

"I got this," I said. "Take care of my guy for me, will you? Don't let him get lost."

For the first two shots in the photo booth I tried to look sweet and innocent. For the third one, I flashed the camera and gave my best supermodel expression. In the fourth one, I was sweet and innocent again. Jake is going to love it, I thought, as I stepped out of the photo booth proudly. He loves the sweet and innocent girl turned naughty kind of stuff.

I handed it to him at the bar right in front of Hope who gave me a knowing smile. "I wouldn't go topless for all of Facebook," I told him, "but I'll go topless for you."

"You're a tease," he said smiling. "You can't tell me you never want to have s.e.x with me again and then give me a picture like this."

I took it from his hands and stuck it in my purse for safekeeping. "I never said I didn't want to. I just said I wasn't going to." Were we really having this discussion in public? In a loud bar where I needed to raise my voice to be heard? I must be drunk. As if pa.s.sing around a topless photo of myself wasn't my first clue.

"Maybe you can explain the difference to me later," he said with a smirk. "After s.e.x."

I playfully punched him in the arm. "Not happening. Can we stop talking about it?"

He laughed out loud. "You're opposed to uncomfortable conversations when you're on the other side of them, huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Are you having fun?"

He smiled at me and took my hand in his. "You know I am."

I pulled my hand away. Being drunk around him was no good. When I was sober I could try to keep myself in check, but when I was drunk, the game was over. We needed to sober up a little before we went back to the Plaza, and we weren't going to do it in a bar. Air. We needed air.

"We should probably start heading back," I yelled over the music. "I've got that meeting in the morning."

He nodded and took my hand again. I let him keep it this time since it was easier to get out of the crowd that way.

When we were back on the street I asked him if he got the pictures he wanted.

"I would have gotten better ones if I'd had my tripod, but I didn't want to carry a bunch of gear around all night."

I got an idea. "Hey, I know where we can go! The condo is only a few blocks away. You can set the camera down on the balcony and get some awesome pics. I still have my key and we haven't rented it out yet."

I started walking faster out of excitement. I couldn't wait to show Jake my beloved terrace and its incredible panoramic views. Maybe then he could get to know the New York me.

He kind of pulled my hand back a little though.

"What?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I don't know. Are you sure? It won't make you upset or anything?"

"No way," I answered quickly. "I love my condo. I can't wait to show you the views."

I realized as soon as I opened the door that someone was living in the condo, the condo that I was still paying half the payments for each month. The empty beer bottles on the coffee table and dirty dishes on the counter gave it away. My first thought was that Caleb had rented it out and forgotten to tell me, in which case I intended on leaving immediately and praying that the tenant never found out I'd walked into his or her apartment, especially since there were noises coming from the bedroom that were of a private nature, if you know what I mean.

Caleb was as a.n.a.l-retentive as they came. He wouldn't ordinarily leave beer bottles and dirty dishes around. He preferred neat and orderly to chaotic and disorganized. Every night when he came home from work he took off his shoes, polished them with a special rag and lined them up evenly and neatly next to the other shoes on the mat. When I looked down, there they were; s.h.i.+ny and sharp and lined up as always.

I should have left. But I didn't. I headed toward the bedroom. Jake put a hand on my shoulder to stop me but my adrenaline had kicked in and there was no stopping me. I moved fast and burst into the bedroom without warning. Afterward, I really wished I had knocked.

The first thing I saw was a blonde head, a cheerleader's uniform and some pom-poms. Next, I saw a person sitting on the bed wearing nothing but a black, furry bear mask.

It all happened so quickly, but I really thought I had walked in on Rebecca Dunbar going down on my husband while he sat on our bed dressed as a bear. I mean, that would be kind of weird, right? And most likely traumatizing. And certainly vomit-inducing to the current-but-soon-to-be-ex wife who drank seven c.o.c.ktails in the last four hours.

Except that's not what I saw at all. It was way worse than that.

When the cheerleader turned around I saw that it was Caleb wearing a cheerleader's uniform and a wig not Rebecca. And when the bear stood up and took off the mask, I saw it was Rebecca Dunbar ... wearing a strap-on.

I am not a prude. I can handle a little bit of freaky s.h.i.+t. But that was the melting pot of freaky s.h.i.+t. It was a pot of Freaky s.h.i.+t Stew and they had thrown in a little bit of everything.

I didn't make it to the toilet. I tried and I even covered my mouth but I didn't make it. Oh well. Let them clean it up. I took off running, grabbed Jake's hand and pulled him out the door with me. I was too scared to wait for an elevator because they'd likely be dressed and running after me before it arrived. I ran for the door to the stairs and slammed it open.

I quickly removed my heels and ran down the stairs, totally expecting Caleb to chase after me with a chainsaw and then throw it down at me like in the movie American Psycho. I had never been more scared in all my life.

I ran down four floors and when I didn't hear anyone following us, I thought it was safe to leave the stairwell. I pulled Jake back into the hallway, closed the door to the stairwell and leaned against it so they couldn't open it if they tried. It was now time for me to slide down the wall and put my head in my hands like they do in the movies.

"I don't want to leave for awhile," I whispered to Jake. "Just in case they come after me."

"I'm starting to feel like I'm in a James Bond movie," he whispered back.

"I'm starting to feel like I'm in a Tom Cruise movie," I said. "A horror film starring Tom Cruise."

He looked alarmed. "That does sound scary," he said seriously.

I shook my head slowly. "You don't even know, Jake. You don't even want to know. I won't even scar you for life by telling you."

"That bad?"

"Worse."

He sat down next to me on the floor and turned on his camera. "Then I won't show this to you. But you might want to let your lawyer know you have it on camera."

We waited in the hallway four floors down for about thirty minutes before I felt it was safe to take an elevator. I worried they'd be waiting for us in the lobby, but they weren't. We escaped the building safely, and I found a cab right away, even at the late hour.

It wasn't a surprise to me when my cell phone rang right after Jake and I got back to our hotel room.

"I just got an emergency call from the other side," my lawyer told me. She sounded raspy, like she'd been woken up. "The meeting tomorrow morning has been postponed. He said he and his client have a lot to discuss before we meet. Do you have any idea what this is about?"

"Unfortunately," I said gravely.

"Do you want to tell me?"

"I caught him doing some pretty twisted stuff with his coworker's wife. I really don't want to get into detail because it's pretty, um, disturbing. But I have a picture."

"Okay," she paused. "This could be really good news for us, Roxie. He said he'd call me by tomorrow afternoon to reschedule. Why don't you sit tight for one more day and I'll see if we can get this taken care of quickly?"

"Sounds good. Talk to you tomorrow then." I hung up and gave Jake a small smile. "I guess you get to spend some more time in New York."

He put his hands just under my shoulders in that calming way he's done before and looked me in the eye. "How are you feeling? Are you okay? I don't want to be happy about staying another day if you're miserable."

I shook my head. "I actually feel kind of relieved because this explains so much." I paused. "I wish I hadn't had to see it firsthand, though. And how did you get the picture? I thought you stayed in the living room. I never saw you follow me."