Public Secrets Part 100

viciously angry. The next thing I knew I was plowing into her, for

Darren, for myself And for Emma. A lot of nerve I have defending Emma

after what I did to her."

"No, we won't get into all that," she interrupted. "It's done now. I

imagine Jane will say some filthy things about me in her next book, and

my business will boom as a result." Push it aside, she told herself, and

go on. "P.M. tells me that you're about to form your own label."

"It should be official in a couple of weeks. Just where is our boy?"

"He had to fly to California a couple of days ago. The divorce

business. Actually, he's expected back anytime now."

"Expected back here?"

She drank again, but met his eyes levelly. "Yes, here. Is that a

problem, Johnno?"

"I don't know. Is it?"

A trace of the old fire came into her eyes-stubborn, defensive. "He's a

very sweet man, a kind man."

"I know. I'm rather fond of him myself"

"I know you are." She sighed, and let the rite die. "Don't let's make

it complicated, Johnno. We're just looking for a little happiness, a

little peace of mind."

"That's bulls.h.i.+t. P.M."s been in love with you for years."

"So what if he is?" she demanded. "Don't I deserve someone who loves

me? Someone who puts me first?"

"Yes. And doesn't he deserve the same?"

She shoved away from the sofa to pace to the window and back. The rain

slicked down the gla.s.s like bars. "I'm not going to hurt him. He needs

someone right now. So do I. What's so wrong about that?"

"Brian," he said simply.

"What does he have to do with this? That was over long ago."

He got up slowly. "I won't insult you by calling you a liar, or by

calling you a fool. I will say that I care about you, and P.M. And

Bri. And I care about the band, what we are, what we've done, what we

still can do."

"I'm hardly a Yoko Ono," she said stiffly. "I won't come between your

precious band. Have I ever? Could I ever?"

"You never have. Maybe you've never known how easily you could.

Brian's never loved anyone like he loved you, Bev. Believe me, I know."

"Don't say that to me."

He started to speak again, but they both heard the door open, and the

rush of footsteps down the hallway. "Bev! Bev!" P.M. turned into the

room, his coat wet from the rain and flapping open. "Johnno, thank G.o.d.

I just heard about Stevie on the radio. What the h.e.l.l's going on?"

"Have a seat, son." Johnno settled back on the sofa himself. "And I'll

tell you."

HE LOVED HER SO SWEETLY. He touched her so gently. The candles

flickered, flames dancing with the dark as Bev stroked a hand down

P.M."s back. His whispers were soft, the words lovely. It was easy, so

easy to give herself to him, to let the strength of his feelings carry

her along.

She would never have to ask herself if he needed her, if she would be,