It's Not Easy Being Mean Part 14

Derrington wiggles his b.u.t.t.

Dissing Derrington .

Kissing Derrington

WRAP S STAR G GOURMET S SANDWICH S SHOPPE W WESTCHESTER, NY.

Wednesday, April 7th 5:37 P.M. P.M.

"Puh-lease tell me someone found it." Ma.s.sie weaved through the 1950s-diner-style tables and sat on the edge of the horseshoe-shaped booth. Her amber eyes were vacant and sad, like she'd just lost something special, something more than the key.

Holding up two fingers, Ma.s.sie let Lysa, the waitress, know she wanted her usual-a single scoop of tuna on plain wheat toast.

"Anyone?" she tried again. she tried again.

"Nope." They shook their heads.

Ma.s.sie unfolded her master list and put a purple slash of Glossip Girl Blueberry Pie through the names Jake Shapiro, Derrington, Josh Hotz, Tiny Nathan, and Ezra Rosenberg.

"I did find this this." Dylan placed a ceramic mold of a buck-toothed mouth on the table. "Ew!" Alicia squealed. "Didn't we see that at the Museum of Natural History?"

"Not unless Jake Shapiro donated it." Dylan pushed back the bell sleeves on her turquoise tunic. "His father made it before his first orthodontist appointment. This was him before before the braces." the braces."

"And you stole it?" Claire lowered her sungla.s.ses to get a better look.

"I had had to." to."

"Well, unless it unlocks that room, I'm not interested." Ma.s.sie slouched.

"I bet it could." Claire giggled. "Check out that incisor."

Everyone burst out laughing, making Claire's teeth chatter. It was her body's way of releasing joy-like sweating, but for emotions. She loved how the Pretty Committee was working toward a common goal and that the goal wasn't "let's humiliate Claire." For once, they were all on the same side.

"In case anyone wants to know, Josh's room was creepy clean." Alicia licked raspberry fro yo off her spoon. "Even for a girl."

"Derrington's was creepy-dirty." Ma.s.sie dipped a paper napkin in her water gla.s.s and scrubbed her hands. "He's so dead to me."

Claire stopped chattering. "Just like that that?"

"Yup." Ma.s.sie threw the soaked napkin on the table, where it landed with a soggy splat. "The bedroom is the window to the soul, Kuh-laire, and his soul smells like kitty litter."

"Ehmagawd!" Alicia grabbed Ma.s.sie's wet palm. "Josh's soul smells like Mr. Clean. Let's be single together!"

"What about the double-date movie I was planning?" Claire asked, not entirely believing that Ma.s.sie could change her mind about Derrington so quickly.

"Unplan it."

"Will someone puh-lease tell me a sad story?" Dylan shoveled a pile of ketchup-covered macaroni salad in her mouth. "I need need to lose my appet.i.te." to lose my appet.i.te."

Fire returned to Ma.s.sie's amber eyes. "Here's one. If we don't get that key, some alt.com loser friend of Layne's will be the new alpha. Imagine being dominated by a group of girls who look like Kuh-laire does right now. By choice!"

Claire opened her mouth, ready to remind everyone that she was doing this for a movie. But Ma.s.sie cut her off.

"Take off the hat and gla.s.ses," she said to Claire.

"No," Claire snapped. She was not going to be made a- "They're mine, remember?" Ma.s.sie held out her hand and wiggled her fingers. "Either take them off for a second or give them back for good."

Stone-faced, Claire removed her disguise and stared at the mini jukebox on the wall.

"Do you want eye-bangs to be in next year?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Well, they will be if the alt.coms find that key. To them, a good wax is a tall black candle."

Alicia shuddered.

"Or the school could be run by Duh-livia Ryan." Ma.s.sie crossed her eyes and poked her tongue through her teeth like an electroshock-therapy patient.

Dylan squirted another dollop of ketchup on her noodles. "I said a sad story, not a scary one." She popped a forkful of macaroni in her mouth.

Claire bit into her Say Cheese wrap. An orange glob of cheddar oozed out, stretching toward the waxed paper, reminding her of Cam's grape gum. Ahhhh, Cam...with his adorable green eye and blue eye...his Drakkar Noir-drenched neck...his beat-up leather jacket...his- Her cell phone buzzed.

She put her sandwich down. It was another text message from Miles.

Runaways are thin.

Freaked out by his timing and suspicious that he might be spying, Claire reluctantly hooked her finger around the gooey cheese and yanked it out.

"C to the to the L L to the to the A A to the to the I I to the to the R U R U kidding me?" someone shouted from the front of the restaurant. "What are you kidding me?" someone shouted from the front of the restaurant. "What are you doing doing here?" here?"

"Layne?"

Claire put on her gla.s.ses.

"Here comes our new alpha," Ma.s.sie snipped, "dressed in yellow low tops, pink-and-orange-striped kneesocks, denim cutoffs, and a tuxedo blazer."

Everyone snickered.

"What are you you doing here?" Claire asked. doing here?" Claire asked.

"He's depressed." She pointed to the takeout counter, where her brother, Chris, was lightly kicking the base of a stool.

His signature scruffy brown hair was messed to perfection. But torn jeans and a ripped black tee were an unflattering look for the otherwise preppy all-American.

"From J. Crew to Motley Crue," Ma.s.sie muttered, obviously shocked by the sudden transformation in her old crush.

"Point."

Layne leaned closer and quickly explained. "Fawn dumpedhim. She said he spends too muchtimewithhishorse. So she spreadarumor that heputswigsonTrickyandpretends she' s.h.i.+sgirlfriend. Everyoneatschoolhasbeencallinghimthe HorseWhisperer and he's depressed. We're here to get his favorite meal. Number 27. The Phillycheesesteakwrap."

Claire's mouth watered.

"Ohhh, I love his horse, Tricky." Ma.s.sie gathered her hair and tossed it to one side of her neck. "How could she dump him for wanting to be with her? If I don't visit my horse every week, I get-"

"Ehmagawd, didn't you used to have a crush on Chris?" Dylan asked.

"Ouch!"

Obviously, Ma.s.sie had kicked her under the table with her riding boots.

"Oww-ch!"

Twice.

"Wait! Now you're both available," Kristen added. "And now that you're done with Derrington-"

"You're done with Derrington?" Layne asked.

"Hold awn," Alicia whined. "I thought we were gonna be single together."

"We are." Silently Ma.s.sie urged Alicia to shut up.

"Anyway, my brother isn't available to date," said Layne. "My mom thinks he should stay single for a year." She glanced at Chris, who was reading the family's order off his hand. "It takes the wound that long to close."

"Her mom's a psychologist," Claire felt the need to explain.

"Sounds like a smart woman." Ma.s.sie fake-smiled. "Now about you you." She tapped the open s.p.a.ce on the edge of the padded red booth. "Sit. Let's catch up."

Layne stood.

Claire took a bite of her dry, cheeseless turkey wrap and did her best to swallow.

"So?" Ma.s.sie squinted as if trying to read Layne's thoughts.

"So."

"So, deliver any more balloons lately?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe."

They locked eyes. Finally, Layne broke the silence.

"Why are you so interested?"

"No reason."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Hmmmm." Layne stroked her chin.

"Hmmmm." Ma.s.sie squinted.

Chris appeared behind Layne carrying two brown bags in his arms.

"Hey, Chris." Claire smiled kindly.

"Hey."

"How's tricks?" Dylan asked.

"Very funny!" He stormed off, bas.h.i.+ng into one of those we're-so-in-love-we-can't-stop-giggling-and-kissing high school couples on his way out.

"Nice one!" Layne chased after him.

"What?" Dylan's cheeks reddened. "What'd I say?"

"His horse is named Tricky." Ma.s.sie fought a smile. "He thought you were making fun of him."

Alicia and Kristen giggled.

"Oh no, I feel terrible." Dylan pushed her plate aside.

After a long pause she beamed.

"Hey, look! I feel terrible!" She pushed her plate even farther away to prove her point. "If I can stay depressed for a few days, I'll lose two pounds by Friday. Then I can wear my skinny jeans to Cam's."

Claire's stomach dipped when she heard his name.

"No," Alicia whined. "I was going to wear my my skinny jeans." skinny jeans."

It dipped again at thought of her friends wearing skinny jeans to his house. Then it dipped a third time because Claire knew she wouldn't be there.

She pinched the hardening gob of discarded cheddar off the waxed paper and dropped it in her mouth. Unfortunately for Miles, depression had the opposite effect on her.