Tomahawk'd Part 14

"Well, yeah. Why else would I have called her?"

Nodding, Jackie said, "You're right. How are you feeling about seeing her again?"

"Nervous, sick, excited, sick, terrified, sick-" Jackson's litany was interrupted when Jackie put a hand on her arm.

"I get the picture. How did she sound?"

Jackson looked into concerned eyes. "She sounded good. According to our favorite mother, Katie says she's happily married and ready to pop out some puppies."

Jackie's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Does that surprise you? Especially with her mother?"

A dark sadness washed over Jackie. "No, I guess it doesn't." She looked up into Jackson's unique eyes. "How is dear Katie anyway?"

"Oh, her normal, crotchety old self. Man, I could feel the tides s.h.i.+ft when she realized it was me calling to get Erin's phone number."

Jackie chuckled. "I bet. She's had it in for you since before you were born."

"I guess I can't blame her," Jackson said in a self-deprecating manner.

"Yes, you can, Jackson!" Jackie spoke harshly which induced a coughing fit. Luckily, it didn't last long. She took a deep breath. "You cannot believe that. She judged you because of what was in your heart. What kind of person would do that to you? Anyone who knows you can tell there's nothing but love in there."

"You're right, Jackie, and that's all in the past. I don't want to bring any of that up again. I don't think my heart could take it."

"Do you have a lot to do before she gets here?"

"Mm, I just have to prepare a cabin for her, make sure all the linens and stuff are clean. I'm gonna give her cabin two; it's right on the lake. It's still a little cool at night, but there's a fireplace in that one. I'll make sure there's plenty of wood."

"You're a good person, filled with kindness, Jack."

"I just learned what I was taught." She leaned down and kissed the top of Jackie's head.

"Sweet talker."

"That's me." Jackson smiled down at her aunt. "I'm gonna get to bed, I think. Tomorrow is going to be a huge day and I really need to be rested."

"Okay, honey. Sleep well."

"You too, Jackie."

Erin paced back and forth, listening to the disappointment coming through the telephone line.

"Erin, you know how much better these shows are when the artist is actually there."

"Kim, I do realize that, but this is an emergency. Would you rather I cancel the show? You've put so much work into it that it wouldn't seem right. This is Jackie. You know how much Jack and Jackie meant to me when I was growing up. I have to go," she insisted.

Kim could empathize, but it still didn't sit well. She knew more paintings sold when Erin attended her showings. Still, it wasn't her first show, and she understood the circ.u.mstances surrounding her departure, so she would let her go with her blessing. "Erin, honey, just be careful. I know all too well what Jackson meant to you. I don't want you getting hurt while you're up there saying your goodbyes."

"It's going to be painful, regardless of what either of us wants. I know I don't want to be hurt, but Jackie's dying. It's going to hurt to see her that way."

Kim shook her head. "You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"I know," Erin said softly. "It'll be okay. We were best friends for ten years, we have a connection, and I felt it just being on the phone with her for ten minutes. I'll be around Jackie and doing what I can for her. The last thing I'm going to do is dredge up the past." She shook her head. She couldn't go down that road again.

"So, can I help with anything else?"

"Can you come over and feed Gracie and maybe pet her a little every day?" she asked hopefully.

"Uggh. I knew you were gonna ask for cat duty." She exhaled. "Fine, just know you really owe me for this."

"I love you, Kimba. Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah, good luck and drive safely."

"Okay, I'll call you when I get there." She smiled. "Thank you for everything. All the pieces will be in my study. Have a good show."

Erin hung up and finished the last of the sorting for her art show. She was certain that Kim would be pleased with the work she was including. There were a variety of pieces with different drawing and painting techniques. With a final nod, Erin placed the pieces of her work around her study in the order in which they should be displayed. She wrote notes about each piece for Kim so she'd have information in case people inquired. She reviewed the prices she'd set, knowing that Kim would change them to a higher figure. She didn't mind, as it allowed her to live a very comfortable life, a life Jeremy would no longer have the privilege of sharing with her. Jerk.

Erin went upstairs, hauled her suitcase from her closet and threw it on the bed. She started going through clothes in her closet-pants, jeans, sweaters, blouses, Ts.h.i.+rts, and sweats.h.i.+rts. None of which were jumping at her to be packed. Her brain started to swirl, making her a little dizzy and a lot frantic.

"What am I going to wear!" she screamed in a panic.

After a long night of packing, a short night of sleeping, and a small plate of brunch, Erin was on the road and halfway to The Northwoods Island City. Knowing the way by heart, she traveled the highways without event and knew if she wanted, she could get there blindfolded. So many thoughts whirred around in her head regarding seeing Jackson again. What will she look like after so long? What will she think of me? Is she harboring bitter feelings? Will she ever forgive me for my cowardice?

Erin knew none of those answers, but would find out soon enough. As terrified as she was of seeing Jackson again, a part of her heart that had been dormant for so long had awakened with that one phone call. Yes, she was frightened of all the feelings she knew would come back to haunt her. Yes, she knew there was a chance that Jackson held some resentment toward her. Yes, Jackie probably knew the situation and wouldn't be too happy with her, but her mother no longer dictated her life and wouldn't be able to interfere with her choices this time. She was going to do what she could to help Jackie, and to help Jackson with the heaviness that would come with losing someone she loved.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed the resort. After a few rings, she recognized Jackson's voice on the machine. h.e.l.lo, you've reached the NorthwoodsIslandCity Resort. We're unable to take your call but it is important to us, so please leave us a detailed message and we'll call you back. If this is an emergency, please page Jackson Thomas at 715-555-1968. Have a great day. Beep. Erin got lost in the sound of Jackson's voice, almost forgetting to leave a message.

"Hi, Jack, it's Erin, err Hawk..." She shook her head. "Um, I left Chicago sooner than I expected, so I'll be getting into the resort in the late afternoon or maybe around sixish. I just wanted to give you a heads up. Um...I'm really looking forward to seeing the old place again. Talk to you soon. If you want, you can call me in the car, 773-555-5225. Bye."

Erin closed her phone and exhaled slowly then wiped her palms on her jeans. "G.o.d, even just talking to her machine gets me all crazy. I really have to settle down." She threw the phone onto the pa.s.senger seat of her Audi. She tried to do some breathing exercises to control herself before she hyperventilated. When that didn't work, she grabbed a CD from her glove box. Soon the soothing sounds of Loreena McKennitt's The Mask & The Mirror were coming through her speakers.

"That's better."

The music eased Erin's frazzled mind and let her relax and enjoy the picturesque drive. Halfway through the CD, her phone chirped. Not taking her eyes off the road, she pawed at the seat in search of the phone. Grabbing the antenna with her teeth, she opened the phone. "Erin Hawkins."

"My, my, my, we're so professional now."

Jackson's throaty amus.e.m.e.nt crept through the phone line and into Erin's ear. Erin laughed. "I never know who's calling me. I gotta be prepared."

"Just like the Girl Scout you never were," Jackson teased.

"It was your brilliant idea that I even joined. I told you I wasn't scout material."

"I could throw in a really bad line about lesbians eating brownies, but I won't." Jackson laughed at the untold joke.

Hearing Jackson laugh, after so many years without that sound, was a salve to her soul. "Yeah, you're such a comic, Jack. And a pig."

"Guilty." The two realized how easy it was for them to fall back into synch after so many years apart. It was as if no time had pa.s.sed at all. "So you're invading a little early?"

"Invading? I do believe I was invited," Erin bantered back.

"Invade, invite...what's a couple of letters between friends?" Jackson laughed, thinking of the irony in that statement.

"Ha, ha. But yes, I'll be there around five thirty, I'm gonna guess. I'm making really good time."

"Good to hear. We'll have dinner ready for you." Jackson hoped she wasn't presuming too much.

"You guys were always so hospitable. I'll be glad to join you for dinner."

"Fantastic!" she exclaimed. "I hope fish is okay, that's all there is," she whispered jokingly.

"As long as it's breaded and fried and really bad for me, I'm in."

"Got it. Bad food while you're here. Check." They shared a chuckle. "Well, I'll let you get back to it. I'll see you in..." she checked her watch, "wow, in about two hours."

"Yep. Told you I was cruising. I'll be there before you know it."

Yes, you will. "All right, Hawk, be careful. I know how you like to daydream."

"Ha, ha. See you soon."

When the connection was broken, Erin could still feel the warmth brought on by the voice that had haunted her heart for years.

Erin pulled onto the pebbled drive of the IslandCity resort. As the buildings came into view, her heart sped up to a dangerous pace. Her hands were already shaking and she'd not even turned the car off yet. She took several deep calming breaths, turned her engine off and popped her trunk. Walking around to the back of the car, she pulled her suitcase from the trunk. Reaching in the still open car, she grabbed her purse and closed the door. With a press of her keychain, the beep confirmed that her alarm was set.

Jackson saw her pull up and her stomach did an incredible number of flip-flops. She knew it would be hard to see Erin, but she was nowhere near ready to face all the emotions that went along with it.

"My G.o.d, she's beautiful," Jackson whispered, watching from the window as Erin exited her car. "d.a.m.n, Hawk, how can you be even more beautiful than you already were?" I'm gonna be sick. Jackson put on her best smile, smoothed down her beige Henley and blue jeans, and went outside to greet her guest.

Erin watched as Jackson came out of the main house and her breath hitched. Oh, my G.o.d...she is just...wow... Jackson's long, dark hair was blowing in the breeze; a lovely smile was etched on her face. Erin couldn't see them yet, but she was sure those eyes would be the warmest mismatched eyes she'd ever seen. Her lips tilted up into a huge smile the closer Jackson came. She couldn't help the tears that welled in her eyes.

"Hey," she forced out.

"Hey, back." Jackson saw the tears in Erin's blue eyes and her heart simply melted at seeing her again.

Erin was not conscious of her next move. She unceremoniously dropped her suitcase and purse and rushed to embrace Jackson in a warm hug that took them both by surprise.

Jackson wrapped her arms around Erin as tightly as she could without robbing the air from her lungs. Holding her Hawk again was better than any dream she'd had since their separation. She could feel Erin's tremors as she let her tears come.

"Sshhh, don't cry, Hawk. It's okay. I'm right here." Jackson held her close. She pulled Erin even closer so Erin's head was pressed firmly against her wildly beating heart. She could feel her own tears well up and was helpless to fight them. She bent her head and smelled the fragrance that was so uniquely Erin. Her hair smelled the same to Jackson as she kissed the top of her head. She threaded her fingers through Erin's hair so they rested at the base of her neck. She stroked the skin lightly, trying to calm her friend.

After several moments, Erin pulled back and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jack. I...I had no idea I'd have..." she breathed deeply, "such a strong reaction to seeing you again."

Jackson reached out and wiped an errant tear from Erin's cheek. "It's okay. I'm sure you heard my heart ready to hammer its way out of my chest. We're even."

We're hardly even and you know it, Jack. "You look wonderful, Jack. You are even more beautiful than I remembered." Erin graced her with a watery smile.

"So are you, Hawk. So are you." They stood and reveled in the bond that they'd missed more than they knew. "Do you want to settle in, or would you like to see Jackie first? Or..."

Shaking her head, Erin replied, "It doesn't matter to me. Let's dump my bags, then you can take me to see Jackie." She looked up at Jackson. "I'm very nervous to see her." For so many reasons.

"You'll be fine, Hawk. I promise. If it gets too hard, you can take a breather. Jackie knows how hard it is going to be for you to see her this way after so long."

"I'm sure. Especially after you told her about my dad and his cancer."

Jackson looked down and shuffled a loose rock with her foot. "I, um...didn't tell her about your dad."

"Why not?"

"I don't know if it was me being afraid of reminding her about her inevitable death from the cancer, or what, but I just didn't want to say anything."

Erin touched her arm. "You always think of everyone else, Jack. I've never met anyone quite like you in my entire life."

"I think that's probably a good thing."

She was kidding, but Erin took her seriously. "Yes, it is. It allows me to appreciate you even more. Reminds me just how special you are."

Jackson swallowed a large lump in her throat and quickly changed the subject before she said something she'd regret later. "Let's get over to your cabin. I put you in cabin two on the water because it has a fireplace and it still gets a little chilly here at night."

Erin smiled. "That sounds great. Lead on."

As they walked, Jackson and Erin both snuck small glances at each other. The link between them was still so strong. Jackson led her up the small steps to her new home for the time being. As she opened the door, a little musty smell welcomed them. Jackson went to the window and opened it to let some fresh air in.

"d.a.m.n, I knew there was something I forgot to do. Sorry about that. The air should smell better in a little while." She pointed toward Erin's bedroom. "Your bedroom is in there so feel free to dump your bags or unpack or whatever you'd like to do. I'm gonna head back home to make sure I don't burn dinner."

"What are we having?" Erin asked with a bright smile.

"Like I said, fish. But as requested, it's breaded, battered, and fried. Just the way you like your walleye."

"Oh, wow, walleye." Erin's mouth started to water. "It's been ages since I've had Tomahawk walleye. Thank you, Jack. I can't believe you remembered that."

I remember everything about you, Hawk, but don't get me started. "Yeah, well, this brain is good for something other than musical notes."

"It's good for many things, Jack. You're one of the smartest people I know."

"You need to get out more, Hawk." She winked. "But I really do have to run. Come up to the house when you're ready."

"It really is great to see you, Jack."

"You, too."

They shared another moment smiling at each other before Jackson ran out to save their dinner.

Erin took the time to unpack, call Kim, and sit down in the recliner in the front room. She breathed heavily, trying to sort out the scattered emotions that were bubbling within her core. She needed to prepare herself to see Jackie in the state she'd seen her father in several years ago. The memories were still raw and she knew she'd have to try to keep her tears in check. Jackie didn't need her to cry for her. Jackie would want her to make sure Jackson would be okay once she was gone. Erin knew she'd do anything for Jackson when that time came.

Erin knocked lightly on the main house door. Jackson let her in with a smile. "You don't have to knock, silly. Get in here." Erin instantly smelled the mingling odors of fried fish and the sterile smell of a hospital. All in all, not the best she could imagine. Cindy stood up from the couch and approached with a smile as Jackson introduced them. "Cindy, this is my longtime friend, Erin Hawkins. Erin, this is Cindy Appleton, Jackie's nurse."