The Best of C. L. Moore Part 17
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She stood quietly, letting the heavy mailed folds of her garment set-tle about her. They fell together with a faint ringing sound, like small bells far off, and hung beautifully in pale golden, sculptured folds. He had risen automatically as she did. Now he faced her, staring. He had never seen her stand perfectly still, and she was not doing it now. She swayed just a bit, vitality burning inextinguishably in her brain as once it had burned in her body, and stolid immobility was as impossi-ble to her as it had always been. The golden garment caught points of light from the fire and glimmered at him with tiny reflections as she moved.
Then she put her featureless helmeted head a little to one side, and* he heard her laughter as familiar in its small, throaty, intimate sound as he had ever heard it from her living throat. And every gesture, every att.i.tude, every flowing of motion into motion was so utterly Deirdre that the overwhelming illusion swept his mind again and this was the flesh-and-blood woman as clearly as if he saw her standing there whole once more, like Phoenix from the fire.
"Well, John," she said in the soft, husky, amused voice he remem- bered perfectly. "Well, John, is it I?" She knew it was. Perfect a.s.sur-ance sounded in the voice. "The shock will wear off, you know. It'll be easier and easier as time goes on. I'm quite used to myself now.
See?"
She turned away from him and crossed the room smoothly, with the old, poised, dancer's glide, to the mirror that paneled one side of the room. And before it, as he had so often seen her preen before, he watched her preening now, running flexible metallic hands down the folds of her metal garment, turning to admire herself over one metal shoulder, making the mailed folds tinkle and sway as she struck an ar-abesque position before the gla.s.s.
His knees let him down into the chair she had vacated. Mingled shock and relief loosened all his muscles in him, and she was more poised and confident than he.
"It's a miracle," he said with conviction. "It's you. But I don't see how-" He had meant, "-how, without face or body-" but clearly he could not finish that sentence.
She finished it for him in her own mind, and answered without self-consciousness. "It's motion, mostly,"
she said, still admiring her own suppleness in the mirror. "See?" And very lightly on her springy, ar-mored feet she flashed through an enchainement of brilliant steps, swinging round with a pirouette to face him.
"That was what Maltzer and I worked out between us, after I began to get myself under con-trol again."
Her voice was somber for a moment, remembering a dark time in the past. Then she went on, "It wasn't easy, of course, but it was fascinating. You'll never guess how fascinating, John! We knew we couldn't work out anything like a facsimile of the way I used to look, so we had to find some other basis to build on. And motion is the other basis of recognition, after actual physical likeness."
She moved lightly across the carpet toward the window and stood looking down, her featureless face averted a little and the light s.h.i.+n-ing across the delicately hinted curves of the cheekbones.
"Luckily," she said, her voice amused, "I never was beautiful. It was all-well, vivacity, I suppose, and muscular co-ordination. Years and years of training, and all of it engraved here"-she struck her golden helmet a light, ringing blow with golden knuckles-"in the habit pat-terns grooved into my brain. So this body. . . did he tell you? . .
works entirely through the brain. Electromagnetic currents flowing along from ring to ring, like this." She rippled a boneless arm at him with a motion like flowing water. "Nothing holds me together-noth-ing!-except muscles of magnetic currents. And if I'd been some-body else-somebody who moved differently, why the flexible rings would have moved differently too, guided by the impulse from another brain. I'm not conscious of doing anything I haven't always done. The same impulses that used to go out to my muscles go out now to-this." And she made a shuddering, serpentine motion of both arms at him, like a Cambodian dancer, and then laughed whole-heartedly, the sound of it ringing through the room with such full-throated merriment that he could not help seeing again the familiar face crinkled with pleasure, the white teeth s.h.i.+ning. "It's all perfectly subconscious now," she told him. "It took lots of practice at first, of course, butnow even my signature looks just as it always did-the co-ordination is duplicated that delicately." She rippled her arms at him again and chuckled.
"But the voice, too," Harris protested inadequately. "It's your voice, Deirdre."
"The voice isn't only a matter of throat construction and breath control, my darling Johnnie! At least, so Professor Maltzer a.s.sured me a year ago, and I certainly haven't any reason to doubt him!" She laughed again. She was laughing a little too much, with a touch of the bright, hysteric over-excitement he remembered so well. But if any woman ever had reason for mild hysteria, surely Deirdre had it now.
The laughter rippled and ended, and she went on, her voice eager. "He says voice control is almost wholly a matter of hearing what you produce, once you've got adequate mechanism, of cour~e. That's why deaf people, with the same vocal chords as ever, let their voices change completely and lose all inflection when they've been deaf long enough. And luckily, you see, I'm not deaf!"
She swung around to him, the folds of her robe twinkling and ring-ing, and rippled up and up a clear, true scale to a lovely high note, and then cascaded down again like water over a falls. But she left him no time for applause. "Perfectly simple, you see. All it took was a little matter of genius from the professor to get it worked out for me! He started with a new variation of the old Vodor you must remember hearing about, years ago. Originally, of course, the thing was ponder-ous. You know how it worked-speech broken down to a few basic sounds and built up again in combinations produced from a keyboard. I think originally the sounds were a sort of ktch and a shoos.h.i.+ng noise, but we've got it all worked to a flexibility and range quite as good as human now. All I do is-well, mentally play on the keyboard of my . - . my sound-unit, I suppose it's called. It's much more complicated than that, of course, but I've learned to do it uncon-sciously. And I regulate it by ear, quite automatically now. If you were -here-instead of me, and you'd had the same practice, your own voice would be coming out of the same keyboard and diaphragm in-stead of mine. It's all a matter of the brain patterns that operated the body and now operate the machinery. They send out very strong im-pulses that are stepped up as much as necessary somewhere or other in here-" Her hands waved vaguely over the mesh-robed body.
She was silent a moment, looking out the window. Then she turned away and crossed the floor to the fire, sinking again into the flowered chair. Her helmet-skull turned its mask to face him and he could feel a quiet scrutiny behind the aquamarine of its gaze.
"It's-odd," she said, "being here in this . . . this. . - instead of a body. But not as odd or as alien as you might think. I've thought about it a lot-I've had plenty of time to think-and I've begun to re-alize what a tremendous force the human ego really is. I'm not sure I want to suggest it has any mystical power it can impress on mechanical things, but it does seem to have a power of some sort. It does instill its own force into inanimate objects, and they take on a personality of their own. People do impress their personalities on the houses they live in, you know. I've noticed that often. Even empty rooms. And it happens with other things too, especially, I think, with inanimate things that men depend on for their lives.
s.h.i.+ps, for in-stance-they always have personalities of their own.
"And planes-in wars you always hear of planes crippled too badly to fly, but struggling back anyhow with their crews. Even guns acquire a sort of ego. s.h.i.+ps and guns and planes are 'she' to the men who operate them and depend on them for their lives. It's as if machinery with complicated moving parts almost simulates life, and does acquire from the men who used it-well, not exactly life, of course-but a per-sonality. I don't know what. Maybe it absorbs some of the actual elec-trical impulses their brains throw off, especially in times of stress.
"Well, after awhile I began to accept the idea that this new body of mine could behave at least as responsively as a s.h.i.+p or a plane. Quite apart from the fact that my own brain controls its 'muscles.' I believe there's an affinity between men and the machines they make. They make them out of their own brains, really, a sort of mental conception and gestation, and the result responds to the minds that created them, and to all human minds that understand and manipulate them."
She stirred uneasily and smoothed a flexible hand along her mesh-robed metal thigh. "So this is myself,"
she said. "Metal-but me. And it grows more and more myself the longer I live in it. It's my house and the machine my life depends on, but much more intimately in each case than any real house or machineever was before to any other human. And you know, I wonder if in time I'll forget what flesh felt like-my own flesh, when I touched it like this-and the metal against the metal will be so much the same I'll never even notice?"
Harris did not try to answer her. He sat without moving, watching her expressionless face. In a moment she went on.
"I'll tell you the best thing, John," she said, her voice softening to the old intimacy he remembered so well that he could see superim-posed upon the blank skull the warm, intent look that belonged with the voice.
"I'm not going to live forever. It may not sound like a-best thing-but it is, John. You know, for awhile that was the worst of all, after I knew I was-after I woke up again. The thought of living on and on in a body that wasn't mine, seeing everyone I knew grow old and die, and nOt being able to stop- "But Maltzer says my brain will probably wear out quite normally -except, of course, that I won't have to worry about looking old!- and when it gets tired and stops, the body I'm in won't be any longer. The magnetic muscles that hold it into my own shape and motions will let go when the brain lets go, and there'll be nothing but a. . . a pile of disconnected rings. If they ever a.s.semble it again, it won't be me." She hesitated. "I like that, John," she said, and he felt from behind the mask a searching of his face.
He knew and understood that somber satisfaction. He could not put it into words; neither of them wanted to do that. But he under-stood. It was the conviction of mortality, in spite of her immortal body. She was not cut off from the rest of her race in the essence of their humanity, for though she wore a body of steel and they perish-able flesh, yet she must perish too, and the same fears and faiths still united her to mortals and humans, though she wore the body of Oberon's inhuman knight. Even in her death she must be unique- dissolution in a shower of tinkling and clas.h.i.+ng rings, he thought, and almost envied her the finality and beauty of that particular death- but afterward, oneness with humanity in however much or little awaited them all. So she could feel that this exile in metal was only temporary, in spite of everything.
(And providing, of course, that the mind inside the metal did not veer from its inherited humanity as the years went by. A dweller in a. house may impress his personality upon the walls, but subtly the walls too, may impress their own shape upon the ego of the man. Neither of them thought of that, at the time.) Deirdre sat a moment longer in silence. Then the mood vanished and she rose again, spinning so that the robe belied out ringing about her ankles. She rippled another scale up and down, faultlessly and with the same familiar sweetness of tone that had made her famous.
"So I'm going right back on the stage, John," she said serenely. "I can still sing. I can still dance. I'm still myself in everything that mat-ters, and I can't imagine doing anything else for the rest of my life."
He could not answer without stammering a little. "Do you think will they accept you, Deirdre? After all-"
"They'll accept me," she said in that confident voice. "Oh, they'll come to see a freak at first, of course, but they'll stay to watch- Deirdre. And come back again and again just as they always did. You'll see, my dear."
But hearing her sureness, suddenly Harris himself was unsure. Maltzer had not been, either. She was so regally confident, and disap-pointment would be so deadly a blow at all that remained of her- She was so delicate a being now, really. Nothing but a glowing and radiant mind poised in metal, dominating it, bending the steel to the illusion of her lost loveliness with a sheer self-confidence that gleamed through the metal body. But the brain sat delicately on its poise of reason. She had been through intolerable stresses already, perhaps more terrible depths of despair and self-knowledge than any human brain had yet endured before her, for-since Lazarus himself-who had come back from the dead?
But if the world did not accept her as beautiful, what then? If they laughed, or pitied her, or came only to watch a jointed freak perform-ing as if on strings where the loveliness of Deirdre had once enchanted them, what then? And he could not be perfectly sure they would not. He had known her too well in the flesh to see her objec-tively even now, in metal. Every inflection of her voice called up the vivid memory of the face that had flashed its evanescent beauty in some look to match the tone. She was Deirdre to Harris simply because she had been so intimately familiar in every poise and atti-tude, through so many years. But people who knew her only slightly, or saw her for the first time in metal-what would theysee?
A marionette? Or the real grace and loveliness s.h.i.+ning through?
He had no possible way of knowing. He saw her too clearly as she had been to see her now at all, except so linked with the past that she was not wholly metal. And he knew what Maltzer feared, for Maltzer's psychic blindness toward her lay at the other extreme. He had never known Deirdre except as a machine, and he could not see her objectively any more than Harris could. To Maltzer she was pure metal, a robot his own hands and brain had devised, mysteriously ani-mated by the mind of Deirdre, to be sure, but to all outward seeming a thing of metal solely. He had worked so long over each intricate part of her body, he knew so well how every jointure in it was put to- gether, that he could not see the whole. He had studied many film records of her, of course, as she used to be, in order to gauge the ac-curacy of his facsimile, but this thing he had made was a copy only. He was too close to Deirdre to see her. And Harris, in a way, was too far. The indomitable Deirdre herself shone so vividly through the metal that his mind kept superimposing one upon the other.
How would an audience react to her? Where in the scale between these two extremes would their verdict fall?
For Deirdre, there was only one possible answer.
"I'm not worried," Deirdre said serenely, and spread her golden hands to the fire to watch lights dancing in reflection upon their s.h.i.+n-ing surfaces. "I'm still myself. I've always had . . . well, power over my audiences. Any good performer knows when he's got it. Mine isn't gone. I can still give them what I always gave, only now with greater variations and more depths than I'd ever have done before. Why, look-" She gave a little wriggle of excitement.
"You know the arabesque principle-getting the longest possible distance from fingertip to toetip with a long, slow curve through the whole length? And the brace of the other leg and arm giving contrast? Well, look at me. I don't work on hinges now. I can make every mo-tion a long curve if I want to. My body's different enough now to work out a whole new school of dancing. Of course there'll be things I used to do that I won't attempt now-no more da~icing sur les pointes, for instance-but the new things will more than balance the loss. I've been practicing. Do you know I can turn a hundred fouettes now without a flaw? And I think I could go right on and turn a thousand, if I wanted."
She made the firelight flash on her hands, and her robe rang musically as she moved her shoulders a little.
"I've already worked out one new dance for myself," she said. "G.o.d knows I'm no ch.o.r.eographer, but I did want to experiment first. Later, you know, re-ally creative men like Ma.s.sanchine or Fokhileff may want to do some-thing entirely new for me-a whole new sequence of movements based on a new technique. And music-that could be quite different, too. Oh, there's no end to the possibilities! Even my voice has more* range and power. Luckily I'm not an actress-it would be silly to try to play Camille or Juliet with a cast of ordinary people. Not that I couldn't, you know." She turned her head to stare at Harris through the mask of gla.s.s. "I honestly think I could. But it isn't necessary. There's too much else.
Oh, I'm not worried!"
"Maltzer's worried," Harris reminded her.
She swung away from the fire, her metal robe ringing, and into her voice came the old note of distress that went with a furrowing of her forehead and a sidewise tilt of the head. The head went sidewise as it had always done, and he could see the furrowed brow almost as clearly as if flesh still clothed her.
"I know. And I'm worried about him, John. He's worked so awfully hard over me. This is the doldrums now, the let-down period, I sup-pose. I know what's on his mind. He's afraid I'll look just the same to the world as I look to him. Tooled metal. He's in a position no one ever quite achieved before, isn't he?
Rather like G.o.d." Her voice rippled a little with amus.e.m.e.nt. "I suppose to G.o.d we must look like a collection of cells and corpuscles ourselves. But Maltzer lacks a G.o.d's detached viewpoint."
"He can't see you as I do, anyhow." Harris was choosing his words with difficulty. "I wonder, though-would it help him any if you post-poned your debut awhile? You've been with him too closely, I think. You don't quite realize how near a breakdown he is. I was shocked when I saw him just now."
The golden head shook. "No. He's close to a breaking point, maybe, but I think the only cure's action.He wants me to retire and stay out of sight, John. Always. He's afraid for anyone to see me ex-cept a few old friends who remember me as I was. People he can trust to be-kind." She laughed. It was very strange to hear that ripple of mirth from the blank, unfeatured skull. Harris was seized with sudden panic at the thought of what reaction it might evoke in an audience of strangers. As if he had spoken the fear aloud, her voice denied it. "I don't need kindness. And it's no kindness to Maltzer to hide me under a bushel. He has worked too hard, I know. He's driven himself to a breaking point. But it'll be a complete negation of all he's worked for if I hide myself now. You don't know what a tremendous lot of geniuses and artistry went into me, John. The whole idea from the start was to recreate what I'd lost so that it could be proved that beauty and talent need not be sacrificed by the destruction of parts or all the body.
"It wasn't only for me that we meant to prove that. There'll be others who suffer injuries that once might have ruined them. This was to end all suffering like that forever. It was Maltzer's gift to the whole race as well as to me. He's really a humanitarian, John, like most great men. He'd never have given up a year of his life to this work if it had been for any one individual alone. He was seeing thousands of others beyond me as he worked. And I won't let him ruin all he's achieved because he's afraid to prove it now he's got it. The whole wonderful achievement will be worthless if I don't take the final step. I think his breakdown, in the end, would be worse and more final if I never tried than if I tried and failed."
Harris sat in silence. There was no answer he could make to that. He hoped the little twinge of shamefaced jealousy he suddenly felt did not show, as he was reminded anew of the intimacy closer than marriage which had of necessity bound these two together. And he knew that any reaction of his would in its way be almost as prejudiced as Maltzer's, for a reason at once the same and entirely opposite.
Ex-cept that he himself came fresh to the problem, while Maltzer's view-point was colored by a year of overwork and physical and mental exhaustion.
"What are you going to do?" he asked.
She was standing before the fire when he spoke, swaying just a little so that highlights danced all along her golden body. Now she turned with a serpentine grace and sank into the cus.h.i.+oned chair beside her. It came to him suddenly that she was much more than humanly graceful-quite as much as he had once feared she would be less than human.
"I've already arranged for a performance," she told him, her voice a little shaken with a familiar mixture of excitement and defiance.
Harris sat up with a start. "How? Where? There hasn't been any publicity at all yet, has there? I didn't know-"
"Now, now, Johnnie," her amused voice soothed him. "You'll be handling everything just as usual once I get started back to work- that is, if you still want to. But this I've arranged for myself. It's going to be a surprise. I. . . I felt it had to be a surprise." She wriggled a lit-tle among the cus.h.i.+ons. "Audience psychology is something I've al-ways felt rather than known, and I do feel this is the way it ought to be done. There's no precedent. Nothing like this ever happened be-fore. I'll have to go by my own intuition."
"You mean it's to be a complete surprise?"
"I think it must be. I don't want the audience coming in with preconceived ideas. I want them to see me exactly as I am now first, before they know who or what they're seeing. They must realize I can still give as good a performance as ever before they remember and compare it with my past performances. I don't want them to come ready to pity my handicaps-I haven't got any!-or full of morbid cu-riosity.
So I'm going on the air after the regular eight-o'clock telecast of the feature from Teleo City. I'm just going to do one specialty in the usual vaude program. It's all been arranged. They'll build up to it, of course, as the highlight of the evening, but they aren't to say who I am until the end of the performance-if the audience hasn't recog-nized me already, by then."
"Audience?"
"Of course. Surely you haven't forgotten they still play to a theater audience at Teleo City? That's why I want to make my debut there. I've always played better when there were people in the studio, so I could gauge reactions. I think most performers do. Anyhow, it's all ar-ranged."
"Does Maltzer know?"She wriggled uncomfortably. "Not yet."
"But he'll have to give his permission too, won't he? I mean-"
"Now look, John! That's another idea you and Maltzer will have to get out of your minds. I don't belong to him. In a way he's just been my doctor through a long illness, but I'm free to discharge him when-ever I choose. If there were ever any legal disagreement, I suppose he'd be ent.i.tled to quite a lot of money for the work he's done on my new body-for the body itself, really, since it's his own machine, in one sense.
But he doesn't own it, or me. I'm not sure just how the question would be decided by the courts-there again, we've got a problem without precedent. The body may be his work, but the brain that makes it something more than a collection of metal rings is me, and he couldn't restrain me against my will even if he wanted to. Not legally, and not-" She hesitated oddly and looked away. For the first time Harris was aware of something beneath the surface of her mind which was quite strange to him.
"Well, anyhow," she went on, "that question won't come up. Maltzer and I have been much too close in the past year to clash over anything as essential as this. He knows in his heart that I'm right, and he won't try to restrain me. His work won't be completed until I do what I was built to do. And I intend to do it."
That strange little quiver of something-something un-Deirdre----which had so briefly trembled beneath the surface of familiarity stuck in Harris' mind as something he must recall and examine later. Now he said only, "All right. I suppose I agree with you. How soon are you going to do it?"
She turned her head so that even the gla.s.s mask through which she looked out at the world was foreshortened away from him, and the golden helmet with its hint of sculptured cheekbone was entirely enig-matic.
"Tonight," she said.
Maltzer's thin hand shook so badly that he could not turn the dial. He tried twice and then laughed nervously and shrugged at Harris.
"You get her," he said.
Harris glanced at his watch. "It isn't time yet. She won't be on for half an hour."
Maltzer made a gesture of violent impatience. "Get it, get it!"
Harris shrugged a little in turn and twisted the dial. On the tilted screen above them shadows and sound blurred together and then clarified into a somber medieval hall, vast, vaulted, people in bright costume moving like pygmies through its dimness. Since the play con-cerned Mary of Scotland, the actors were dressed in something ap-proximating Elizabethan garb, but as every era tends to translate cos-tume into terms of the current fas.h.i.+ons, the women's hair was dressed in a style that would have startled Elizabeth, and their footgear was entirely anachronistic.
The hall dissolved and a face swam up into soft focus upon the screen. The dark, lush beauty of the actress who was playing the Stuart queen glowed at them in velvety perfection from the clouds of her pearl-strewn hair. Maltzer groaned.
"She's competing with that," he said hollowly.
"You think she can't?"
Maltzer slapped the chair arms with angry palms. Then the quiver-ing of his fingers seemed suddenly to strike him, and he muttered to himself, "Look at 'em! I'm not even fit to handle a hammer and saw." But the mutter was an aside. "Of course she can't compete," he cried irritably. "She hasn't any s.e.x. She isn't female any more. She doesn't know that yet, but she'll learn."
Harris stared at him, feeling a little stunned. Somehow the thought had not occurred to him before at all, so vividly had the illusion of the old Deirdre hung about the new one.
"She's an abstraction now," Maltzer went on, drumming his palms upon the chair in quick, nervous rhythms. "I don't know what it'll do to her, but there'll be change. Remember Abelard? She's lost every-thing that made her essentially what the public wanted, and she's going to find it out the hard way.
After that-" He grimaced savagely and was silent.
"She hasn't lost everything," Harris defended. "She can dance and sing as well as ever, maybe better.
She still has grace and charm and-"
"Yes, but where did the grace and charm come from? Not out of the habit patterns in her brain. No, outof human contacts, out of all the things that stimulate sensitive minds to creativeness. And she's lost three of her five senses. Everything she can't see and hear is gone. One of the strongest stimuli to a woman of her type was the knowl-edge of s.e.x compet.i.tion. You know how she sparkled when a man came into the room? All that's gone, and it was an essential. You know how liquor stimulated her? She's lost that. She couldn't taste food or drink even if she needed it. Perfume, flowers, all the odors we respond to mean nothing to her now. She can't feel anything with tac-tual delicacy any more. She used to surround herself with luxuries- she drew her stimuli from them-and that's all gone too. She's withdrawn from all physical contacts."
He squinted at the screen, not seeing it, his face drawn into lines like the lines of a skull. All flesh seemed to have dissolved off his bones in the past year, and Harris thought almost jealously that even in that way he seemed to be drawing nearer Deirdre in her fleshless-ness with every pa.s.sing week.
"Sight," Maltzer said, "is the most highly civilized of the senses. It was the last to come. The other senses tie us in closely with the very roots of life; I think we perceive with them more keenly than we know. The things we realize through taste and smell and feeling stim-ulate directly, without a detour through the centers of conscious thought. You know how often a taste or odor will recall a memory to you so subtly you don't know exactly what caused it? We need those primitive senses to tie us in with nature and the race. Through those ties Deirdre drew her vitality without realizing it. Sight is a cold, intel-lectual thing compared with the other senses. But it's all she has to draw on now. She isn't a human being any more, and I think what hu-manity is left in her will drain out little by little and never be replaced. Abelard, in a way, was a prototype. But Deirdre's loss is complete."
"She isn't human," Harris agreed slowly. "But she isn't pure robot either. She's something somewhere between the two, and I think it's a mistake to try to guess just where, or what the outcome will be."
"I don't have to guess," Maltzer said in a grim voice. "I know. I wish I'd let her die. I've done something to her a thousand times worse than the fire ever could. I should have let her die in it."
"Wait," said Harris. "Wait and see. I think you're wrong."
On the television screen Mary of Scotland climbed the scaffold to her doom, the gown of traditional scarlet clinging warmly to supple young curves as anachronistic in their way as the slippers beneath the gown, for-as everyone but playwrights knows-Mary was well into middle age before she died. Gracefully this latter-day Mary bent her head, sweeping the long hair aside, kneeling to the block.
Maltzer watched stonily, seeing another woman entirely.
"I shouldn't have let her," he was muttering. "I shouldn't have let her do it."
"Do you really think you'd have stopped her if you could?" Harris asked quietly. And the other man after a moment's pause shook his head jerkily.
"No, I suppose not. I keep thinking if I worked and waited a little longer maybe I could make it easier for her, but-no, I suppose not. She's got to face them sooner or later, being herself." He stood up abruptly, shoving back his chair. "If she only weren't so - . . so frail. She doesn't realize how delicately poised her very sanity is. We gave her what we could-the artists and the designers and I, all gave our very best-but she's so pitifully handicapped even with all we could do. She'll always be an abstraction and a. . . a freak, cut off from the world by handicaps worse in their way than anything any human be-ing ever suffered before. Sooner or later she'll realize it. And then-" He began to pace up and down with quick, uneven steps, striking his hands together. His face was twitching with a little tic that drew up one eye to a squint and released it again at irregular intervals. Harris could see how very near collapse the man was.
"Can you imagine what it's like?" Maltzer demanded fiercely. "Penned into a mechanical body like that, shut out from all human contacts except what leaks in by way of sight and sound? To know you aren't human any longer? She's been through shocks enough al-ready. When that shock fully hits her-"
"Shut up," said Harris roughly. "You won't do her any good if you break down yourself. Look-the vaude's starting."Great golden curtains had swept together over the unhappy Queen of Scotland and were parting again now, all sorrow and frustration wiped away once more as cleanly as the pa.s.sing centuries had already expunged them. Now a line of tiny dancers under the tremendous arch of the stage kicked and pranced with the precision of little mechanical dolls too small and perfect to be real. Vision rushed down upon them and swept along the row, face after stiffly smiling face racketing by like fence pickets. Then the sight rose into the rafters and looked down upon them from a great height, the grotesquely fore-shortened figures still prancing in perfect rhythm even from this inhuman angle.
There was applause from an invisible audience. Then someone came out and did a dance with lighted torches that streamed long, weaving ribbons of fire among clouds of what looked like cotton wool but was most probably asbestos.
Then a company in gorgeous pseudo-period costumes postured its way through the new singing ballet form of dance, roughly following a plot which had been announced as Les Sylphides, but had little in common with it. Afterward the precision dancers came on again, solemn and charming as performing dolls.
The Best of C. L. Moore Part 17
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The Best of C. L. Moore Part 17 summary
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