Outsiders. Part 4

"Perhaps not. But I can see, for I am not afraid to use all the senses I have been given. You are frightened by the powers you possess that go beyond the five senses you think you should have. This limits you so much."

"I'm doing just fine, thank you." Renee jumped up and shoved the curtains aside to let in the daylight.

"Are you? Can you not see that it is the same as taking a photograph with a macro lens when you should be using a wide angle?"

"Now you're a photography expert?"

There it was again-the sarcasm. Yazhi sighed heavily. "You are ignoring your gifts, and it is causing a great disturbance in your energy field."

Renee crossed her arms and turned to face Yazhi, but said nothing.

"I'm sorry." Yazhi spoke softly. "I know you think it's none of my business, but I was put in your path for a reason, and I am beginning to think I know what it is."

Renee sat down heavily. "How did you know about the boy?"

"I saw him in a vision." Yazhi watched the emotions swirl in Renee's eyes and pressed ahead. "Who is he, this boy?" When Renee said nothing, Yazhi added, "I a.s.sume you would not have come if you were not prepared to tell me. Please, don't be afraid."

Renee bit her lower lip and took a deep breath. "I don't know who he is. I've never seen him before. I didn't recognize the alley, the boy-any of it. I'd been asleep, and then suddenly it was as if I was there, watching."

"Ah, I was seeing your vision through our connection. Now I understand."

"That makes one of us. Why am I shown things I can't do anything about? Is it just to torture me? And what connection?"

Yazhi reached across the table and covered Renee's hand with her own. "Do you feel that?" When Renee tried to pull away, Yazhi tightened her grip. She felt the energy surge between them and stared hard into Renee's eyes, until the other woman looked away.

"Yes." Renee's voice was so quiet Yazhi had to strain to hear her. She sounded defeated, and Yazhi felt a stab of pain in her heart. She couldn't tell if it belonged to Renee, or to her.

"But you wish you didn't."

"Yes, I wish I didn't. I've struggled all my life to shut out the visions, and the knowledge, and the 'feelings.'" The last was said derisively.

"You must be very tired. That kind of effort takes so much energy." A tear rolled down Renee's cheek and Yazhi reached out with her free hand to wipe it away.

"Why do you fight your power instead of embracing it?"

Renee swallowed hard and Yazhi sat patiently, aware that her guest's admissions were made with great reluctance and that fear still permeated the air. Trust clearly was not something that came easily to Renee, and Yazhi imagined that emotional displays in front of strangers were not the norm for her, either.

"You don't have time for this." Renee gestured in the direction of the suitcase. "You must have a plane to catch, or something. How about if you keep your end of the bargain, and we go our own ways?"

Yazhi raised an eyebrow but made no other move.

"You said if I was honest with you about the boy, you'd fill in the gaps in my memory of the accident. I told you what I knew about the boy. It's your turn."

Yazhi frowned. If she did as Renee asked, she had little doubt that the photographer would disappear without another word, and Yazhi would have failed to fulfill her purpose. She still was not certain she knew exactly what her role was, but it was clear that it had to do with helping Renee overcome her fear and accept her abilities.

"You're right. I must go." Yazhi stood. "I will, as you say, keep my end of the bargain, but not today." She picked up a pen from the table and wrote hastily on a nearby hotel memo pad. "This is where you can find me. If you really want to know what happened, you should see for yourself."

"You've got to be joking." Renee popped out of the chair and brought her face within inches of Yazhi's. "I came over here in good faith, answered your question, and you pull this load of c.r.a.p? Who the h.e.l.l are you? And why do you keep f.u.c.king with me?"

Yazhi stood her ground without flinching.

"I'm out of here." Renee spun on her heel and headed for the door. It was only after she tried to fling it open that she realized that Yazhi had reset the security chain. "For G.o.d's sake." She fumbled with the metal and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

"s.h.i.+t!" Renee squeezed her hand to stem the flow of blood squirting from a two-inch gash. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." She nudged the jagged edge of broken framing gla.s.s with her booted foot, rose, and hustled to the sink in her darkroom.

The water stung, but it gave her a clearer look at the damage. "Could've been worse." Renee shut off the faucet and reached into the drawer for the b.u.t.terfly strips.

Just as she finished drying her hands and applying the bandages, the doorbell buzzed. "Now what?"

"Whoever you are, go away," Renee growled into the intercom.

"Ms. Maupin?" The voice was timid, tentative.

"No, it's the Easter bunny. What do you want?"

"Sabrina told me to bring this package back to you."

"Could the day get any worse?" Renee buzzed the messenger in and leaned against the open door to wait.

"Sabrina said to tell you..." The messenger, whom Renee recognized as one of the go-fers from the gallery, fished a tattered Post-it note from his pocket and s.h.i.+fted from foot to foot. "Your little friend dropped this off for you. Seems you left it in her hotel room."

Renee could just imagine Sabrina's voice dripping with disgust. "Perfect." She fished a ten-dollar bill out of her pocket, shoved it into the clearly uncomfortable messenger's hand, and slammed the door in his face.

It was humiliating. Really. First Yazhi gets her to give up the truth about the vision without coughing up the details about the accident, and then she goes to the trouble to return a photograph she clearly wanted. Not only that, but knowing she'd been in Yazhi's hotel room, regardless of the circ.u.mstances, would give Sabrina one more reason to hate her. Renee leaned heavily against the door. She hadn't felt this off-balance in, well, forever.

The sun was little more than a hint on the horizon. Yazhi closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath, savoring the early morning sounds of bird song and enjoying the solitude.

"Thank you, Great Spirit, for the beauty of this day, for the gifts of sight and knowledge you have bestowed upon me, and for the wisdom to use those gifts to help others."

Yazhi smiled as the warrior she knew as Joseph appeared in her mind's eye. Over the years he had become a frequent presence in her life. He was one of three spirit guides that visited regularly, advising her and lighting her way.

Today will be an important day.

She's coming today, isn't she?

Yes. She is troubled.

I know. Her visions are more frequent and she does not sleep well. What must I do?

She is torn. She does not know what it is she seeks. Even as she doubts herself, she will trust you. You must show her the way. Teach her to use the abilities she has been given without fear or judgment. You understand her in ways her own people do not. Her experiences have taught her to ignore what she knows. Be patient, but strong.

I understand. I am ready.

Yes, you are.

Yazhi remained still a moment more before opening her eyes. She raised her chin to the sun, which had begun its ascent. It had been nearly a month since she'd given Renee her address. At times she had wondered if the photographer would show at all.

Yazhi knew Renee's visions had become almost a nightly occurrence, for they awakened her as well. She had come to tell the difference between her own energy and Renee's. It was a relief to know that she might have an opportunity to help Renee so that they both might get some rest.

Yazhi could have shut out the visions, but in so doing she felt she would have been turning her back on Renee at a time when the woman needed her.

"Be honest, Yaz, this isn't only about a.s.sisting in her spiritual journey and you know it." From the first second Yazhi had wrapped herself around Renee and pulled her from the canyon, she had felt an irresistible connection. It was more than simple attraction-it was a recognition of a soul she had known...and loved...many times before. Renee Maupin was her twin flame.

Up until this moment, Yazhi had been unwilling to think about that, but now...now Renee would be coming to her. Yazhi's stomach did a small flip. "First things first, Yaz. Heal the spirit and the rest will follow." She stood up from the ground and dusted herself off. It was going to be a long day.

Chapter Five.

Renee pulled the rented Jeep to the side of the road and s.n.a.t.c.hed her camera off the pa.s.senger seat. The sun was minutes away from disappearing below the horizon, and the scene to her right was backlit so that the rocks virtually glowed. Overhead, a ripe full moon hung in the indigo sky, watching over the tableau.

"Amazing." Renee jumped out of the car and began shooting. She concentrated first on the larger landscape, then changed lenses, got down on her belly, and composed the close-up texture shots she preferred. The ripples in the red-hued sand loomed large in her viewfinder, and she snapped off a series of shots from a variety of angles.

When she was done, Renee rolled over onto her back and stared up at the darkening sky, marveling at the raw beauty of the colors, the crispness of the late-fall air, and the purity of the moment. This was what she loved, what she lived for. Out here, there were no crumpled bodies in alleys, no women cowering behind garbage cans, their clothes torn and their bodies violated. Out here, she felt calm and at peace.

A chill breeze jolted Renee back into the moment. She s.h.i.+vered and scrambled up from the ground. It would be full dark before long, and she wanted to reach her destination while she still could see where she was going.

She checked the car's navigation system one more time as she pulled back onto the road. If the GPS was correct, she should arrive at the address Yazhi had given her within ten minutes.

"Then what, genius?" Not for the first time, Renee's stomach clenched. She imagined what she would say to Yazhi. "Hi. I was just in the neighborhood..." Yeah, right."Hi. I don't know if you remember me, but you said I should stop by if I wanted to know what the h.e.l.l happened to me in that canyon more than a year ago." Brilliant."Hi. I haven't been able to sleep since you left New York. Truthfully, nothing has been the same since I met you. I'm having nightly visions, I know when someone thinks about me, and I see dead people. If that isn't enough, I can't get you out of my head. So I came here to exorcise my demons. Hope you don't mind." That ought to send her running for the hills.

"Turn left in point two miles, then turn right." The sound of the mechanized voice emanating from the GPS on the dashboard made Renee jump.

"How the h.e.l.l is it that some computer tracks all these dirt roads, anyway?" She followed the directions and found herself on yet another dirt road. There were three one-story adobe houses several hundred feet apart.

"Arriving at address, on left."

"Huh." Renee pulled into a wrap-around driveway and parked behind another Jeep. She opened her window, shut off the engine, and sat stock still. Her heart hammered and her palms dampened. "You're nervous? This is ridiculous. Just ring the doorbell and say h.e.l.lo. She's the one who gave you the address and told you to come, remember?"

Renee looked over at the house. Smoke curled in a plume from a chimney, and a light glowed invitingly through a window. She faced forward again, closed her eyes, and caressed the steering wheel with both hands.

"Are you planning to sit out here all night? It could get a little chilly."

Renee's eyes flew open and her heart beat double-time.

"I'm sorry. I startled you."

"How do you do that? Sneak up on people without making a sound." Renee's nostrils flared and the muscles in her jaw jumped.

"I would hardly say I 'snuck' up on you. After all, you are parked in my driveway."

"I know that, but..." Renee shrugged. She had no idea what she was trying to say. But, as always seemed to be the case around Yazhi, she felt completely off-balance.

"Would you like to come inside?"

"Sure. I guess." Renee yanked the keys out of the ignition and opened the car door. She followed Yazhi into the house, her eyes drinking in the sight of her hostess's shapely backside. Her cheeks grew hot. What if Yazhi caught her staring?

Great. This is helpful. Grow up.You didn't come here to ogle or to jump her bones, you came to get information. Renee shook her head to clear it. It was useless to deny that Yazhi fl.u.s.tered her in a way no woman had since her first high school crush, but that was not why she was here.

The first thing Renee noticed when she crossed the threshold was the comforting scent of lavender. It didn't take her long to locate the source-a series of lit candles populated highly polished, hand-carved wooden pedestals in the great room to the right of the entryway. More candles rested on a matching coffee table in front of a rich chocolate leather sofa. The walls were painted pale beige and boasted several Navajo wall hangings. A ma.s.sive fireplace with a native red-rock hearth dominated the far side of the room. The flames licked at cedar logs, simultaneously creating a mesmerizing glow, interesting shadows, and an inviting warmth. The s.p.a.ce over the mantle was bare.

"I'm waiting to find just the right image to hang there," Yazhi said, breaking the silence.

Renee started again. She hadn't realized Yazhi was watching her. In fact, she'd almost forgotten for a moment that she wasn't alone. The setting was so peaceful, so welcoming, that she'd become completely immersed in the surroundings. She nodded, automatically envisioning how the image Yazhi had fallen in love with in New York would look in a larger size in that spot. It would be perfect. No wonder Yazhi had wanted it.

"Um, I thought you might be hungry, so I made a stew and some fry bread. I wasn't sure, but I didn't think you were a vegan."

"How did you know I was coming?" Renee rounded on Yazhi, her eyes narrowing. She hadn't told anyone where she was going, hadn't made up her mind definitively to make the trip until the night before.

Yazhi blushed an appealing shade of deeper red.

"Dinner is ready. There's a bathroom down the hall to your left if you'd like to freshen up."

"Figures."

"I'm sorry?"

"You didn't answer me...again. You have a habit of that, you know."

"In time, I will answer all your questions."

"Do you ever speak in anything other than riddles?"

"Yes." Yazhi smiled. It was the kind of beatific expression one might have found in a painting.

"You are exasperating, you know that?"

"I know that you think so."

Renee grunted and headed in the direction Yazhi had indicated for the bathroom. Once inside, she closed the door and leaned against it with her eyes closed. Be patient. Be polite. You remember how to do that, right? Maybe she just doesn't respond well to pressure. Or maybe she likes to have the upper hand. Don't let her think you're desperate for answers. Play it cool. Renee opened her eyes and shoved away from the door. She washed her hands, splashed water on her face, and fixed her resolve.

When she walked back down the hallway, Yazhi was nowhere in sight.

"I'm in here," Yazhi called.

Renee wanted to ask how Yazhi knew she'd emerged from the bathroom at the other end of the house, but she thought better of it. She was sure Yazhi would only give her another equally frustrating answer. Instead, she followed the sound of Yazhi's voice and the delicious smell emanating from somewhere beyond the great room.

Yazhi busied herself ladling stew into two bowls and arranging the fry bread in a woven basket. She was nervous, and used the moments when Renee was in the bathroom to center herself and try to relax. It wasn't working.