A Narrative of some of the Lord's Dealings with George Muller Volume I Part 4

About this time I began to have conscientious objections against any longer receiving a stated salary. My reasons against it were these:--

1. The salary was made up by pew-rents; but pew-rents are, according to James ii. 1-6, against the mind of the Lord, as, in general, the poor brother cannot have so good a seat as the rich. (All pew-rents were therefore given up, and all the seats made free, which was stated at the entrance of the chapel). 2. A brother may gladly do something towards my support if left to his own time; but when the quarter is up, he has perhaps other expenses, and I do not know, whether he pays his money grudgingly, and of necessity, or cheerfully; but G.o.d loveth a cheerful giver. Nay, I knew it to be a fact, that sometimes it had not been convenient to individuals to pay the money, when it had been asked for by the brethren who collected it. 3. Though the Lord had been pleased to give me grace to be faithful, so that I had been enabled not to keep back the truth, when He had shown it to me; still I felt that the pew-rents were a snare to the servant of Christ. It was a temptation to me, at least for a few minutes, at the time when the Lord had stirred me up to pray and search the Word respecting the ordinance of baptism, because 30. of my salary was at stake, if I should be baptized.

For these reasons I stated to the brethren, at the end of October, 1830, that I should for the future give up having any regular salary. After I had given my reasons for doing so, I read Philippians iv., and told the saints, that if they still had a desire to do something towards my support, by voluntary gifts, I had no objection to receive them, though ever so small, either in money or provisions. A few days after it appeared to me, that there was a better way still; for if I received personally every single gift, offered in money, both my own time and that of the donors would be much taken up; and in this way also the poor might, through temptation, be kept from offering their pence, a privilege of which they ought not to be deprived; and some also might in this way give more than if it were not known who was the giver; so that it would still be doubtful whether the gifts were given grudgingly or cheerfully. For these reasons especially, there was a box put up in the chapel, over which was written, that whoever had a desire to do something towards my support, might put his offering into the box.

At the same time it appeared to me right, that henceforth I should ask no man, not even my beloved brethren and sisters, to help me, as I had done a few times according to their own request, as my expenses, on account of traveling much in the Lord's service, were too great to be met by my usual income. For unconsciously I had thus again been led, in some measure, to trust in an arm of flesh; going to man, instead of going to the Lord at once. To come to this conclusion before G.o.d, required more grace than to give up my salary.

About the same time also my wife and I had grace given to us to take the Lord's commandment, "Sell that ye have, and give alms," Luke xii. 33, literally, and to carry it out. Our staff and support in this matter were Matthew vi. 19-34, John xiv. 13, 14. We leaned on the arm of the Lord Jesus. It is now fifty-one years, since we set out in this way, and we do not in the least regret the step we then took. Our G.o.d also has, in His tender mercy, given us grace to abide in the same mind concerning the above points, both as it regards principle and practice; and this has been the means of letting us see the tender love and care of our G.o.d over His children, even in the most minute things, in a way in which we never experimentally knew them before; and it has, in particular, made the Lord known to us more fully than we knew Him before, as a prayer hearing G.o.d.

As I have written down how the Lord has been pleased to deal with us since, I shall be able to relate some facts concerning this matter, as far as they may tend to edification.

Extracts from my Journal.

Nov. 18th, 1830.--Our money was reduced to about eight s.h.i.+llings. When I was praying with my wife in the morning, the Lord brought to my mind the state of our purse, and I was led to ask Him for some money. About four hours after, we were with a sister at Bishopsteignton, and she said to me, "Do you want any money?" "I told the brethren," said I, "dear sister, when I gave up my salary, that I would for the future tell the Lord only about my wants." She replied, "But He has told me to give you some money.

About a fortnight ago I asked Him, what I should do for Him, and He told me to give you some money; and last Sat.u.r.day it came again powerfully to my mind, and has not left me since, and I felt it so forcibly last night, that I could not help speaking of it to Brother P." My heart rejoiced, seeing the Lord's faithfulness, but I thought it better not to tell her about our circ.u.mstances, lest she should be influenced to give accordingly; and I also was a.s.sured, that, if it were of the Lord, she could not but give. I therefore turned the conversation to other subjects, but when I left she gave me two guineas. We were full of joy on account of the goodness of the Lord.--I would call upon the reader to admire the gentleness of the Lord, that He did not try our faith much at the commencement, but gave us first encouragement, and allowed us to see His willingness to help us, before He was pleased to try it more fully.

The next Wednesday I went to Exmouth, our money having then again been reduced to about nine s.h.i.+llings. I asked the Lord on Thursday, when at Exmouth, to be pleased to give me some money. On Friday morning, about eight o'clock, whilst in prayer, I was particularly led to ask again for money; and before I rose from my knees I had the fullest a.s.surance, that we should have the answer that very day. About nine o'clock I left the brother with whom I was staying, and he gave me half a sovereign, saying, "Take this for the expenses connected with your coming to us." I did not expect to have my expenses paid, but I saw the Lord's fatherly hand in sending me this money within one hour after my asking Him for some. But even then I was so fully a.s.sured that the Lord would send more that very day, or had done so already, that, when I came home about twelve o'clock, I asked my wife whether she had received any letters. She told me she had received one the day before from a brother in Exeter, with three sovereigns. Thus even my prayer on the preceding day had been answered.

The next day one of the brethren came and brought me 4., which was due to me of my former salary, but which I could never have expected, as I did not even know that this sum was due to me. Thus I received, within thirty hours, in answer to prayer, 7. 10s.

In the commencement of December I went to Collumpton, where I preached several times, and likewise in a neighbouring village. In driving home from the village late at night, our driver lost his way. As soon as we found out our mistake, being then near a house, it struck me that the hand of G.o.d was in this matter; and having awakened the people of the house, I offered a man something if he would be kind enough to bring us into the right road. I now walked with the man before the gig, and conversed with him about the things of G.o.d, and soon found out that he was an awful backslider. May G.o.d, in mercy, bless the word spoken to him, and may we learn from this circ.u.mstance, that we have to ask on such occasions, why the Lord has allowed such and such things to happen to us.--Since the publication of the first edition, one day, about eight years after this circ.u.mstance had happened, the individual who drove me that night introduced himself to me as a believer, and told me that on that evening he received his first impressions under the preaching of the Word. The missing of the right road may have been connected with his state of mind.

May I and my fellow-labourers in the Gospel be encouraged by this, patiently to continue to sow the seed, though only after eight years or more we should see the fruit of it. I only add, that up to that time, the individual had been a very dissipated young man, who caused his believing parents very much grief. Their love led them to convey me and my wife to this village and back again, and truly the Lord gave them a reward in doing so.

Between Christmas and the new year, when our money was reduced to a few s.h.i.+llings, I asked the Lord for more; when a few hours after there was given to us a sovereign by a brother from Axminster. This brother had heard much against me, and was at last determined to hear for himself, and thus came to Teignmouth, a distance of forty miles; and having heard about our manner of living, gave us this money.

With this closes the year 1830. Throughout it the Lord richly supplied all my temporal wants, though at the commencement of it I had no certain human prospect for one single s.h.i.+lling; so that, even as it regards temporal things, I had not been in the smallest degree a loser in acting according to the dictates of my conscience; and, as it regards spiritual things, the Lord had indeed dealt bountifully with me, and led me on in many respects, and, moreover, had condescended to use me as an instrument in doing His work.

On January 6th, 7th, and 8th, 1831, I had repeatedly asked the Lord for money, but received none. On the evening of January 8th I left my room for a few minutes, and was then tempted to distrust the Lord, though He had been so gracious to us, in that He not only up to that day had supplied all our wants, but had given us also those answers of prayer, which have been in part just mentioned. I was so sinful, for about five minutes, as to think it would be of no use to trust in the Lord in this way. I also began to say to myself, that I had perhaps gone too far in living in this way. But, thanks to the Lord! this trial lasted but a few minutes. He enabled me again to trust in Him, and Satan was immediately confounded; for when I returned to my room (out of which I had not been absent ten minutes), the Lord had sent deliverance. A sister in the Lord, who resided at Exeter, had come to Teignmouth, and brought us 2. 4s.; so the Lord triumphed, and our faith was strengthened.

Jan. 10. Today, when we had again but a few s.h.i.+llings, 5. was given to us, which had been taken out of the box. I had, once for all, told the brethren, who had the care of these temporal things, to have the kindness to let me have the money every week; but as these beloved brethren either forgot to take it out weekly, or were ashamed to bring it in such small sums, it was generally taken out every three, four, or five weeks. As I had stated to them, however, from the commencement, that I desired to look neither to man nor the box, but to the living G.o.d, I thought it not right on my part, to remind them of my request to have the money weekly, lest it should hinder the testimony which I wished to give, of trusting in the living G.o.d alone. It was on this account that on January 28th, when we had again but little money, though I had seen the brethren on January the 24th open the box and take out the money, I would not ask the brother, in whose hands it was, to let me have it; but, standing in need of it, as our coals were almost gone, I asked the Lord to incline his heart to bring it, and but a little time afterwards it was given to us, even 1. 8s. 6d.

I would here mention, that since the time I began living in this way, I have been kept from speaking, either directly or indirectly, about my wants, at the time I was in need. But whilst I have refrained, and do still habitually refrain, from speaking to my fellow creatures about my wants at the time, I desire to speak well of the Lord's goodness, after He has delivered me; not only in order that He thus may get glory, but also that the children of G.o.d may be encouraged to trust in Him.

On February 14th we had again very little money, and, whilst praying, I was led to ask the Lord, graciously to supply our wants; and the instant that I rose from my knees, a brother gave me 1., which had been taken out of the box.

On March 7th I was again tempted to disbelieve the faithfulness of the Lord, and though I was not miserable, still I was not so fully resting upon the Lord, that I could triumph with joy. It was but one hour after, when the Lord gave me another proof of His faithful love. A Christian lady at Teignmouth had been from home for some time, and on her return she brought from the sisters in the Lord, with whom she had been staying, five sovereigns for us, with these words written in the paper;--"I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink. Lord, when saw we Thee an hungered, and fed Thee? or thirsty, and gave Thee drink? The King shall answer and say unto them, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

On March 16th I went to Axminster, and preached in several places in that neighbourhood, besides holding a meeting at Axminster. Whilst staying there I was requested to preach at Chard; but as I had never been away from Teignmouth on the Lord's day, I had to pray much, before I came to the conclusion to comply with the request. At last I had the fullest a.s.surance that I ought to preach at Chard. I have since heard that the Lord used me in edifying the brethren, and through a general exhortation to all, to read the Scriptures with earnestness, a woman was stirred up to do so, and this was the means of her conversion. As to myself, I had a most refres.h.i.+ng season. I mention this circ.u.mstance to show how important it is to ascertain the will of G.o.d, before we undertake any thing, because we are then not only blessed in our own souls, but also the work of our hands will prosper.--One of the brethren at Chard forced a sovereign upon me, against the acceptance of which I strove much, lest it should appear as if I had preached for money. Another would give me a paper with money.

I refused it for the same reason. At last he put it by force into my pocket, and ran away. The paper contained 11s. 6d.

April 16th. This morning I found that our money was reduced to 3s., and I said to myself, I must now go and ask the Lord earnestly for fresh supplies. But before I had prayed, there was sent from Exeter 2, as a proof that the Lord hears before we call.

I would observe here, by the way, that if any of the children of G.o.d should think that such a mode of living leads away from the Lord, and from caring about spiritual things, and has the effect of causing the mind to be taken up with the question, What shall I eat? What shall I drink?--and Wherewithal shall I be clothed? and that on that account it would be much better to have a stated salary, particularly for one who labours in the word and doctrine, in order that he may be above these cares; I say, should any believer think so, I would request him, prayerfully to consider the following remarks:--1. I have had experience of both ways, and know that my present mode of living, as to temporal things, is connected with less care. 2. Confidence in the Lord, to whom alone I look for the supply of my temporal wants, keeps me, at least whilst faith is in exercise, when a case of distress comes before me, or when the Lord's work calls for my pecuniary aid, from anxious reckoning like this: Will my salary last out?

Shall I have enough myself the next month? &c. In this my freedom, I am, by the grace of G.o.d, generally at least, able to say to myself something like this:--My Lord is not limited; He can again supply; He knows that this present case has been sent to me; and thus, this way of living, so far from leading to anxiety, as it regards possible future want, is rather the means of keeping from it. And truly it was once said to me by an individual,--You can do such and such things, and need not to lay by, for the church in the whole of Devons.h.i.+re cares about your wants. My reply was: The Lord can use not merely any of the saints throughout Devons.h.i.+re, but those throughout the world, as instruments to supply my temporal wants. 3. This way of living has often been the means of reviving the work of grace in my heart, when I have been getting cold; and it also has been the means of bringing me back again to the Lord, after I have been backsliding. For it will not do,--it is not possible, to live in sin, and, at the same time, by communion with G.o.d, to draw down from heaven every thing one needs for the life that now is. 4. Frequently, too, a fresh answer to prayer, obtained in this way, has been the means of quickening my soul, and filling me with much joy.

About April 20th I went to Chumleigh. Here and in the neighbourhood I preached repeatedly, and from thence I went to Barnstaple. Whilst we were at Barnstaple, there was found in my wife's bag a sovereign, put there anonymously. A sister also gave us 2. On our return to Teignmouth, May 2, when we emptied our travelling bag, there fell out a paper with money. It contained two sovereigns and threepence, the latter put in, no doubt, to make a noise in emptying the bag. May the Lord bless and reward the giver!

In a similar way we found 4s. put anonymously into one of our drawers, a few days after.

June 6. Having prayed much on the previous days, that, when we wanted money, the Lord would be pleased to send some, today, after I had again asked for it, a poor sister brought half a sovereign, 5s. from herself, and 5s. from another very poor sister. This is not only a fresh proof that the Lord hears prayer, but also that He sends by whom He will. Our money had been reduced to 8s.

June 12. Lord's day. On Thursday last I went with brother Craik to Torquay, to preach there. I had only about 3s. with me and left my wife with about 6s. at home. The Lord provided beds for us through the hospitality of a brother. I asked the Lord repeatedly for money; but when I came home my wife had only about 3s. left, having received nothing. We waited still upon the Lord. Yesterday pa.s.sed away, and no money came. We had 9d. left. This morning we were still waiting upon the Lord, and looking for deliverance. We had only a little b.u.t.ter left for breakfast, sufficient for brother E. and a relative living with us, to whom we did not mention our circ.u.mstances, that they might not be made uncomfortable.

After the morning meeting, brother Y. most unexpectedly opened the box, and, in giving me quite as unexpectedly the money at such a time, he told me that he and his wife could not sleep last night on account of thinking that we might want money. The most striking point is, that, after I had repeatedly asked the Lord, but received nothing, I then prayed yesterday, that the Lord would be pleased to impress it on brother Y. that we wanted money, so that he might open the box. There was in it 1. 8s. 10 1/2d. Our joy on account of this fresh deliverance was great, and we praised the Lord heartily.

June 18. Brother Craik called on us today, and he then had only 1 1/2d.

left. A few minutes after, he received: a sum of money, and in returning to us on his way home, he gave us 10s., when we had but 3s. left.

July 20. A shoulder of mutton and a loaf were sent to us anonymously.--I understood some time afterwards, that Satan had raised the false report that we were starving, in consequence of which a believer sent these provisions. I would mention by the way, that various reports have been circulated, on account of this our way of living. Sometimes it has been said that we had not enough to eat, and that surely such and such an infirmity of body we had brought on us, because we had not the necessaries of life. Now, the truth is, that, whilst we have been often brought low; yea, so low, that we have not had even as much as one single penny left; or so as to have the last bread on the table, and not as much money as was needed to buy another loaf;--yet never have we had to sit down to a meal, without our good Lord having provided nouris.h.i.+ng food for us. I am bound to state this, and I do it with pleasure. My Master has been a kind Master to me, and if I had to choose this day again, as to the way of living, the Lord giving me grace, I would not choose differently. But even these very reports, false as they were, I doubt not the Lord has sometimes used as a means, to put it into the hearts of His children, to remember our temporal necessities.

About July 25th I preached several times at Collumpton, and in a neighbouring village, in the open air. My experience as it regards preaching in the open air has been very different from what I might have expected. I have often preached out of doors, and but once has it been blessed, as far as I know, and that was in the case of an officer in the army, who came to make sport of it; whilst almost in every place, if not in every place, where I have preached in rooms or chapels, the Lord has given testimony to the Word. Perhaps the Lord has not been pleased to let me see fruit from this part of my work, though I have been many times engaged in it; or it may be, that, because I did not pray so earnestly respecting my out-door preaching as respecting my in-door preaching, the former has not been so much blessed as the latter. But this testimony I cannot but bear, that, though I do not consider it at present my work, on account of want of bodily strength, yet it is a most important work, and I should delight in being so honoured now, as to be allowed to be engaged in it.

August 9. After extreme suffering, which lasted about seventeen hours, my wife was this day delivered of a still-born child.--Who of my readers would suppose, that whilst I was so abundantly blessed by G.o.d, and that in so many respects, my heart should have been again many times during several months previous to this day, cold, wretched, carnal? How long-suffering is the Lord! Repeatedly, during this time, I could let hours run on, after I had risen in the morning, before I prayed; at least, before I retired for prayer. And at that time when I appeared most zealous for G.o.d, perhaps more so than at any time before or since, I was often far from being in a spiritual state. I was not now, indeed, indulging in gross outward sins, which could be noticed by my brethren; but often--very often, the eye of my kind loving Father must have looked on me with much grief. On this account, I have no doubt, the Lord now, in great compa.s.sion, sent this heavy blow. I had not seriously thought of the great danger connected with childbearing, and therefore had never earnestly prayed about it. Now came this solemn time. The life of my dear wife was hanging, as it were, on a thread, and, in the midst of it, my conscience told me, that my state of heart made such a chastis.e.m.e.nt needful. Yet, at the same time, I was much supported.--When the child was still-born, I saw almost immediately afterwards, that this could not have been expected otherwise, for I had not looked on the prospect of having a child as on a blessing, which I was about to receive from G.o.d, but rather considered it as a burden and a hindrance in the Lord's work; for I did not know then, that, whilst a wife and children may be in certain respects, on the one hand, a hindrance to the servant of Christ, they also may fit him, on the other hand, for certain parts of his work, in teaching him things which are important to be known, especially for the pastoral work. The Lord now brought, in addition to this, very great sufferings upon my beloved wife, which lasted for six weeks, combined with a partial lameness of the left side.--Immediately after the eventful time of August 8th and 9th, the Lord brought me, in His tender mercy, again into a spiritual state of heart, so that I was enabled to look on this chastis.e.m.e.nt as a great blessing. May this my experience be a warning to believing readers, that the Lord may not need to chastise them, on account of their state of heart! May it also be a fresh proof to them, that the Lord, in His very love and faithfulness, will not, and cannot let us go on in backsliding, but that He will visit us with stripes, to bring us back to Himself!

There was one point, however, in which, by grace, I had continued to be faithful to G.o.d, i.e. in my mode of living, and, therefore, in as far as I had been faithfully sowing, I now reaped abundantly; for the Lord most graciously supplied, in rich abundance, all our temporal wants, though they were many. Another reason for this may have been, that the Lord never lays more on us, in the way of chastis.e.m.e.nt, than our state of heart makes needful; so that whilst He smites with the one hand, He supports with the other.--We saw it to be against the Lord's mind to put by any money for my wife's confinement, though we might have, humanly speaking, very easily saved 20. or 30. during the six months previous to August 7th. I say, humanly speaking, and judging from what we had received during all these months, we might have laid by as much as the above sums; but I have every reason to believe, that, had I begun to lay up, the Lord would have stopped the supplies, and thus, the ability of doing so was only apparent.

Let no one profess to trust in G.o.d, and yet lay up for future wants, otherwise the Lord will first send him to the h.o.a.rd he has ama.s.sed, before He can answer the prayer for more. We were persuaded, that, if we laid out our money in the Lord's service, He would send more when we needed it; and this our faith, His own gift, He graciously honoured, inasmuch as He not merely gave us what we needed, but much more.

On August 6th, just before this time of need, the Lord sent us 5. from a distance of about forty miles, and that from a sister, whom, up to this day, neither of us know personally. On August 7th I received 1. 0s. 9 1/2d. out of the box. August 15th, from a distance of twenty-five miles was sent 5., and from a distance of about seventy miles 1. August 18th, whilst preaching at Chudleigh, 1. was sent to me, and a brother sent from Exeter 2. August 21st was again sent from a distance of seventy miles 5., and August 23rd another 5. from the same place. Also, August 22nd, 16s. 9d. was given out of the box. August 24th, a brother, who is a day labourer, gave me 2s. 6d. August 31st, 5s. was given to me. September 3rd, whilst preaching at Chudleigh, 3. 10s. was given to me by a brother and three sisters. September 4th, a sister gave me a guinea, and also out of the box was given 9s. 8d. September 10th, 6. was given to me. Thus, within about one month, the Lord not only sent us nearly 40., but likewise all sorts of suitable provisions and refreshments, needful at such a time; and, in addition to this, the two medical gentlemen who attended my wife would not take any remuneration for their unwearied attention and kindness, during the s.p.a.ce of six weeks. Thus the Lord gave us even more than we could have saved, if we had endeavoured to do so.

November 16th. This morning I proposed united prayer respecting our temporal wants. Just as we were about to pray, a parcel came from Exmouth.

In prayer we asked the Lord for meat for dinner, having no money to buy any. After prayer, on opening the parcel, we found, among other things, a ham, sent by a brother at Exmouth, which served us for dinner. Thus not only our own family was provided for, but also a sister in the Lord then staying with us.

November 17th. Today we had not a single penny left. We had asked the Lord yesterday and today. We desired only enough money to be able to buy bread. We were reduced more than ever we had been before. But our gracious and faithful Lord, who never lays more upon His children than He enables them to bear, delivered us again this time, by sending us 1. 10s. 6d., about an hour before we wanted money to buy bread.

November 19th. We had not enough to pay our weekly rent; but the Lord graciously sent us again today 14s. 6d. I would just observe, that we never contract debts, which we believe to be unscriptural (according to Romans xiii. 8;) and therefore we have no bills with our tailor, shoemaker, grocer, butcher, baker, &c.; but all we buy we pay for in ready money. The Lord helping us, we would rather suffer privation, than contract debts. Thus we always know how much we have, and how much we have a right to give away. May I entreat the believing reader, prayerfully to consider this matter; for I am well aware that many trials come upon the children of G.o.d, on account of not acting according to Rom. xiii. 8.

November 27th, Lord's day. Our money had been reduced to 2 1/2d.; our bread was hardly enough for this day. I had several times brought our need before the Lord. After dinner, when I returned thanks, I asked Him to give us our daily bread, meaning literally that He would send us bread for the evening. Whilst I was praying, there was a knock at the door of the room.

After I had concluded, a poor sister came in, and brought us some of her dinner, and from another poor sister, 5s. In the afternoon she also brought us a large loaf. Thus the Lord not only literally gave us bread, but also money.

In reading about all these answers to prayer, the believing reader may be led to think that I am spiritually minded above most of the children of G.o.d, and that, therefore, the Lord favours us thus. The true reason is this. Just in as many points as we are acting according to the mind of G.o.d, in so many are we blessed and made a blessing. Our manner of living is according to the mind of the Lord, for He delights in seeing His children thus come to Him (Matt. vi.); and therefore, though I am weak and erring in many points, yet He blesses me in this particular, and, I doubt not, will bless me, as long as He shall enable me to act according to His will in this matter.

After we had, on December 31st, 1831, looked over the Lord's gracious dealings with us during the past year, in providing for all our temporal wants, we had about 10s. left. A little while after, the providence of G.o.d called for that, so that not a single farthing remained. Thus we closed the old year, in which the Lord had been so gracious in giving to us, without our asking any one:--

1. Through the instrumentality of the box, 31. 14s.--

2. From brethren of the Church at Teignmouth, in presents of money, 6.

18s. 6d.

3. From brethren living at Teignmouth and elsewhere, not connected with the Church at Teignmouth, 93. 6s. 2d. Altogether, 131. 18s. 8d.

There had been likewise many articles of provision and some articles of clothing given to us, worth at least 20. I am so particular in mentioning these things, to show that we are never losers by acting according to the mind of the Lord. For had I had my regular salary, humanly speaking, I should not have had nearly as much; but whether this would have been the case or not, this is plain, that I have not served a hard Master, and that is what I delight to show. For, to speak well of His name, that thus my beloved fellow-pilgrims, who may read this, may be encouraged to trust in Him, is the chief purpose of my writing.

We had now in the new year to look up to our kind Father for new mercies, and during the year 1832 also we found Him as faithful and compa.s.sionate as before, not laying more on us than He enabled us to bear, though s.p.a.ce will only permit me to mention a few particulars.

January 7, 1832. We had been again repeatedly asking the Lord today and yesterday to supply our temporal wants, having no means to pay our weekly rent; and this evening, as late as eleven o'clock, a brother gave us 19s.

6d., a proof that the Lord is not limited to time.

January 13. The Lord has again graciously fed us today. We have 5d. left, some bread, rice, meat, potatoes, and other good things, and, above all, the Lord Jesus. He who has provided will provide.

January 14. This morning we had nothing but dry bread with our tea; only the second time since we have been living by simple faith upon Jesus for temporal supplies. We have more than 40. of ready money in the house for two bills,2 which will not be payable for several weeks; but we do not consider this money to be our own, and would rather suffer great privation, G.o.d helping us, than take of it. I thank the Lord, who gives me grace to be more faithful in these matters than I used to be formerly, when I would have taken of it, and said, that by the time the money was actually due, I should be able to replace it. We were looking to our Father, and He has not suffered us to be disappointed. For when now we had but 3d. left, and only a small piece of bread, we received 2s. and 5s., the particulars concerning which would take up too much s.p.a.ce.

February 18. This afternoon I broke a blood vessel in my stomach, and lost a considerable quant.i.ty of blood. I was very happy immediately afterwards. February 19. This morning, Lord's day, two brethren called on me, to ask me what arrangement there should be made today, as it regarded the four villages, where some of the brethren were in the habit of preaching, as, on account of my not being able to preach, one of the brethren would need to stay at home to take my place. I asked them, kindly to come again in about an hour, when I would give them an answer. After they were gone, the Lord gave me faith to rise. I dressed myself, and determined to go to the chapel. I was enabled to do so, though so weak when I went, that walking the short distance to the chapel was an exertion to me. I was enabled to preach this morning with as loud and strong a voice as usual, and for the usual length of time. After the morning meeting, a medical friend called on me, and entreated me not to preach again in the afternoon, as it might greatly injure me. I told him, that I should indeed consider it great presumption to do so, had the Lord not given me faith. I preached again in the afternoon, and this medical friend called again, and said the same concerning the evening meeting.

Nevertheless, having faith, I preached again in the evening. After each meeting I became stronger, which was a plain proof that the hand of G.o.d was in the matter. After the third meeting I went immediately to bed, considering that it would be presumption to try my strength needlessly.