Sane Sex Life and Sane Sex Living Part 8

The question is sometimes asked as to how late in life the s.e.x organs can function pleasurably and wholesomely for the parties concerned.

And here, as elsewhere, the reply can only be that it all depends on the individual. But this is true, that, as a rule, the status of the individual during the years of active life will persist, even to old age, if the s.e.x-functions are used and not abused. There is no function of the body, however, which will "go to pieces" quicker, and ever after be a wreck, as will the s.e.x organs, if they are not treated rightly.

And this works both ways: If too rigorously held in check, _if denied all functioning whatever, the parts will atrophy, to the detriment of the whole nature, physical, mental, and spiritual_. The body will become "dried up," the s.e.x organs shriveled, and a corresponding shrinking of the whole man or woman, in all parts of the being, is very apt to follow.

On the other hand, an excess of s.e.x-functioning will soon deprive the individual of all such power whatsoever. A man will, in his comparatively early life, lose the power of erection, or tumescence entirely, as a result of excess, either by masturbation or from too frequent coitus; and on the part of the woman, many unfortunate conditions are liable to arise. However, for reasons that have already been stated, a woman who is strongly s.e.xed, and of a p.r.o.nounced amorous nature, can maintain even great excess of s.e.x exercise without suffering such ill results as would befall a man who should so indulge. That is, an excessively pa.s.sionate wife can far sooner wear the life out of a husband who is only moderately amorous, than can an abnormally pa.s.sionate husband wear out a moderately amorous wife.

But if the s.e.x nature of the husband and wife are well cared for during the years of active life, neither too much restrained or too profusely exercised, the functioning power of the s.e.x organs will remain, even to old age, with all their pleasure-giving powers and sensations intact. This is a wonderful physiological fact, which leads to a conclusion, as follows:--

This fact of the staying qualities of the power of s.e.x functioning, even to old age, is the _supreme_ proof of the fact that s.e.x, in the human family, _serves a purpose other than reproduction_!

For, see! A woman loses the power to conceive when she reaches the "turn of life," when her menses cease, that is, when she is between forty and fifty years of age. And if pleasure in coition serves only to induce her to engage in the act for the purpose of increasing the probability of her becoming pregnant, if this is the _sole_ purpose of desire for s.e.x intercourse, such desire, such pleasure, _ought to cease_ at that period of feminine life. _But this is by no means the case_! If a wife is a normal woman, s.e.xually, and has neither abused her s.e.x nature or had it abused, or neglected, and is a well woman, she will enjoy coitus as much after she has pa.s.sed her three score and ten date in her life as she did before! She may not care to engage in the act as frequently as in her younger days; but if she is well courted by her old lover, all the joys of the former days are still hers, to as great a degree as ever. And what is true of her is true of her husband, if he is well preserved, as she is, has never abused himself or been abused.

This is a reward of virtue, for old lovers, that pays a big premium on righteous s.e.x-action in earlier years! More than all, _it is a proof, beyond all question, that the purpose of s.e.x in humanity is something more than procreation, that there is such a thing as the Art of Love, and that it ought to be taught and well learned by every husband and wife, in their early married life_.

X

CLEANLINESS

It would hardly seem necessary to be said, and yet many experiences of husbands and wives prove that it needs to be said, that both parties should take great pains to keep their bodies, all parts of them, always sweet and clean. Strange as it may seem, many wives are exceedingly careless in this respect! It is a matter of common report among men, that harlots take more pains to make and keep their bodies, and especially their genitals, clean and attractive, than many wives do! Surely, this ought not to be so, and yet it often is.

And that it is, is only one more unfortunate result that springs from the feeling of "Oh, we are married now." The wife or the husband feels that there is no longer any need of wooing each other. All of which leads to woe, woe, woe! The wife should keep her whole body so sweet and clean that her husband can kiss her from top to toe, if he wants to--and the chances are that he will want to, if she so keeps herself!

In the one case, such a caress is a bit of heaven to a husband, in the other it is a bit of h.e.l.l! It will disgust where it ought to delight.

And when a wife disgusts her husband, the end of a happy married life has come!

The wife should always wash her v.u.l.v.a with soap and warm water before retiring, and if reservatus is to be engaged in in the morning, after urination, she should thoroughly cleanse the parts before union takes place. Let her be _ever_ mindful to keep her "love cup" worthy to meet its lover.

And the husband should be equally careful to keep his body sweet and clean. He should wash the glans p.e.n.i.s thoroughly, with soap and water, at least once every day, drawing the foreskin back so as to fully cleanse the indenture above the gland, which secretes a substance that very soon emits an offensive odor unless removed. Both parties should keep their arm pits so that they will not be "smelly," and the feet should likewise be kept inodorous.

One of the chief objections to smoking or chewing tobacco is that it spoils the breath, and so makes it offensive to the wife, whereas it should be most attractive. In a word, both the husband and wife cannot be too careful, in all ways, in making and keeping their bodies mutually attractive. As has already been said, the sole aim of all the s.e.xual experience of a husband and wife should be to raise the function more and more _away_ from the plane of _physical_ gratification and elevate it continually towards the realm of _mental_ and _spiritual delight_. This is a mission of s.e.x in the human family that should be made the most of. It involves the cultivation of the Art of Love, which is truly the art of arts, par excellence.

The secret of success in establis.h.i.+ng righteous and happy s.e.x relations between husband and wife is, on the part of the man, that _all his actions should be those of a loving gentleman_. This does not mean effeminacy on his part--he must be virile, bold, strong, aggressive, positive, _compelling_. And yet, all these manly virtues must be expressed in terms of _loving and gentle_ ACTS. This is a paradox, but it is true!

On the part of the woman, the chief item on her side is, for her to attain a _correct mental and spiritual att.i.tude toward her own s.e.x-nature and that of her husband, and toward their common expression_. All her training and environment now hinder her from such achievement; but if she be a true woman, her nature will reveal the truth to her, and if she will trust to that--do what that prompts her to do, she will come out all right. It will take time to reach such results; but if she will persist, she will succeed. Let her come to the realization of the fact that s.e.x in men and women is _not_ unclean, vulgar, lowdown, sinful; but that it is _clean, pure, lofty_, G.o.d-BORN! Rightly exercised, it leads to the highest well-being of both the husband and wife; it brings them to their physical, mental and spiritual n.o.blest and best. Let the wife get this view of the situation, which is the only true view, and then let her act accordingly, and she will have attained. A husband and wife who have reached this _modus vivendi_ have established a heaven on earth.

EDITOR'S NOTE

Dr. Long's description of "Free Time" should be thoroughly understood by the readers of this book. Since it is practically impossible to conduct exact scientific tests under strict control (the reason for which can be readily understood) there is much difference of opinion among physicians and s.e.xologists on this subject.

Some say there is no such thing as "Free Time." Others agree with Dr.

Long that there is a period of "Free Time." Still a third group take the conservative viewpoint that further proof is necessary. The publishers offer this explanation as a necessary comment.

XI

PREGNANCY

And now just a few words about having children, and this treatise will end.

As has already been said, every true husband and wife who are well enough and strong enough, and who are reasonably furnished with this world's goods, ought to have and rear at least two children. The world needs at least so many, even if all children lived and grew up, to keep up the constant number of people on the earth. But, far more than this, the husband and wife need children _to make a home complete, and a complete home is the supreme attainment of human life!_

This does not mean that people should not marry unless they can have children; there are many women who should never even try to become mothers. But these should not be deprived of all s.e.xual joys for this reason. On the contrary, it is for their best good, in most cases, that they should marry and so live normal s.e.x lives, in all respects except parenthood.

But, for the most part, husbands and wives _can_ have children, if they so desire, _and they_ SHOULD _so desire_.

And, so desiring, the question is, How can they best fulfil such desire?

As a matter of fact, there is very little that is really known about the begetting of children, and the securing of the best results from such action. The laws of human heredity are, as yet, for the most part, unknown. But common sense would seem to indicate a few things that must be best in the premises.

Thus, it would seem to be for the best that the husband and wife should be in good physical condition when a child is begotten. More than this, it would seem right that the act of begetting should be a _deliberate_, and not a mere _chance_ begetting. Hence, in general, it is well for the husband and wife to _agree_ upon a time for the begetting of a child, and _deliberately accomplish a s.e.x-meeting for such purpose_. Although, one instinctively feels that such a deliberate meeting might be too matter of fact--too cold and formal, lacking in warm blood and genuine emotion; still, the probabilities are that even this could be overcome, if kept in mind and "provided for."

Referring to the things that have already been said, of course an embrace which is to result in pregnancy should be one of the most perfect that can possibly be experienced, one in which, in an ecstasy of love's delight, husband and wife merge their souls and bodies into a perfect oneness--it would seem that from such a meeting the best, and only the best results could come.

And so if the husband and wife will agree that from a given time on, they will cease to have a care to prevent conception; and then, sometime _immediately following the fifth day after the beginning of the menstrual flow_, they will naturally meet in a _perfect embrace_, the probabilities are that they will have done the best possible to secure the highest attainable results from the act of begetting a child.

As a rule, the proper time for such begetting is between the _fifth_ and the _tenth_ day after the beginning of the menstrual flow. It is sometimes best, however, to make the meeting earlier than this, even before the flow has ceased. Some women will conceive then who cannot do so at any other time. And so, if a wife should be unable to conceive between the fifth and the tenth day, as noted, let an earlier date be tried. If this should fail, consult a reliable physician.

It ought to be said, too, that putting off having children _too long_, is very apt to result in the sterility of the wife. Many a young wife, who has really wanted to have children _sometime_, and who would be greatly grieved if she thought she could _not_ bear a child, has kept putting it off, and has done this _so often_, and for _so long_, that, when the "convenient day" does come, she finds that she has "sinned away her day of grace."

Speaking generally, the first baby should be born not much later than two years after marriage. There are, of course, exceptions to this, but it is a good rule to go by.

_Have your children when you are young_! This is common sense, it comes out best in the long run, and is the best thing to do, ninety-nine times in a hundred. Then, you are nearer the age of your children as they grow up than if you waited till you were in the late thirties before the children came. If your son or daughter is only twenty-some years younger than you are, you can be "kids" with them.

If you are forty years old when they are born, you will always be "old folks" to them. Have the babies when you are young. It is far better so.

If no children come from the meeting of husband and wife consult a good doctor. But, in such event, if neither of the parties is to blame--or even otherwise, make the best of the situation, love each other, and make the most of wedded life with what is left.

Above all, with children or without (and a thousand times better with) make a home that is a home. That is what s.e.x in the human family, what married life is for--to make a home. Nearly all that makes a home is centered around s.e.x. No two normal _men_ can make a home! No two normal _women_ can make a home! _It takes a man and a woman to make a home. It takes father, mother and children to make the most perfect home. Make up your minds to have a most perfect home, and do your utmost to reach that goal_!

The query often arises in the minds of conscientious husbands and wives whether or not it is right to engage in coitus during pregnancy.

On this point authorities differ, though most of them hold against such practice. The reasons they give for such adverse decision are all based on the same old infernal lie, namely, that, s.e.xually, man is a mere animal, and so is subject to the laws and practices of mere animality. This is the worst outrage ever perfected by a false philosophy, which is heralded as the will of G.o.d. Out on it, altogether!

The simple truth, is that, if the husband and wife have _mastered the Art of Love_, so that they _mutually desire each other, and both long for s.e.x exercise during the gestation period_, it is _perfectly right_ and WISE for them to satisfy their _natural_ COMMON wishes.

Of course, in such exercise, the utmost care should be taken not to press too hard upon the pelvic region of the woman, and in this regard, the word of caution needs to be heeded, as much by the prospective mother as by her mate. For, in the intensity of an o.r.g.a.s.m, she may be tempted to crowd her body too violently against her husband, and so possible harm might result. Especially if the husband-superior position is taken during the act, he should be doubly careful not to permit the weight of his body to rest upon the enlarged part of the wife's anatomy, not in the least.

Indeed, the safest position for coitus, during pregnancy is, the woman on her back, and the man with his hips on the bed below hers, so that there is no possibility of pressure on her abdomen, which is perfectly free, in this position. In this position, the act may be engaged in, during pregnancy, as often as mutually desired, to the benefit of both parties.

Many pregnant women are more than usually pa.s.sionate during the period of gestation. This is especially the case when the wife is happy in her condition, when she rejoices with exceeding great joy that she is on the way to experience the divine crown of wifehood--maternity! When such a woman desires her husband in love's embrace, it is cruel to deprive her of her longed-for delight.