Woman Her Sex and Love Life Part 7

Of course the father and the mother should be in the best possible physical and mental condition during the time of conception and even before conception, and the mother should take the very best care of herself--she should be in good health and as calm a spirit as possible during the entire period of gestation. For the general health and condition of the mother does influence the child.

And still I feel impelled to say something which may meet with violent opposition in some quarters. The trouble is, there are too many half-baked scientists in our midst. They spread misleading information and the public at large is too apt to take every statement that has a quasi-scientific seal for something absolute, for something positive, for something that admits of no exceptions.

I have seen so much misery caused by wrong prenatal care teaching and by the foolish, exaggerated ideas on the subject, that I consider it my duty to say something in order to counteract those erroneous notions. I consider it my special mission to destroy error, mysticism and superst.i.tion. And the prenatal care teaching as imparted by some unfortunately partakes of all three of the above.

Of course, I repeat, the mother should try to be in the best possible condition while she is carrying the child. Nevertheless, it is foolish to imagine if the mother is not quite well, or is worried about something, or has a fit of anger, that it is invariably going to be reflected on the child. The child, as we know, has no nervous connection whatever with the mother, and it is only very violent or prolonged shocks that are apt to have an injurious influence.

I know of children that were carried by their mothers in anger and in anguish from the day of conception to the day of delivery. And still they were born perfectly normal. I know of a child whose mother was suffering the most h.e.l.lish tortures of jealousy during the entire period of pregnancy, and still the child was born perfectly healthy, perfectly normal, and is now a splendid specimen of manhood. I know children whose mothers went through severe attacks of pneumonia, typhoid fever, etc., and still they were born perfectly healthy and perfectly normal. I know children whose mothers were using every means to abort them, took all kinds of internal medicines until they were deathly sick, and still they were born perfectly healthy and normal. I know children whose mothers tried to abort them by mechanical means, who went to abortionists who made one or more attempts to induce the abortion--I know even cases where the mothers bled as a result of such attempts--and nevertheless, the children were born perfectly healthy, developed normally physically and mentally.

Of course these are not things that I would advise women to do or to undergo. I would not advise pregnant women to worry, to be sick, to take poisonous medicines or to make attempts at abortion, but I merely bring up these points to emphasize to my readers not to take the necessity of prenatal care in too absolute a sense, and not to worry themselves unnecessarily if the conditions during their pregnancy are not all that could be desired. The child is not necessarily going to be affected. The condition of the germ-plasms, i.e., the condition of the ovum and the spermatozoa at the time of conception is more important than all subsequent care during gestation.

As there are foolish people who possess a peculiar knack of misinterpreting and misunderstanding everything, I wish to emphasize that hygiene during pregnancy should not be neglected. Everything possible should be done to put the mother in the best possible physical and mental condition. All I want to say is that it is bad to be insane on the subject, that it is bad to take things in an absolute sense, and that it is bad to exaggerate.

You will often hear it said that a child that was conceived when the father was in an exhilarated condition is apt to be epileptic, or nervous, or insane, and what not. This is also to be taken with a grain of salt. A chronic alcoholic has a defective germ-plasm, and his children are apt to be defective. But a gla.s.s of wine at a wedding banquet cannot affect the previously formed spermatozoa. And the statements about children being born defective or developing defectively because their fathers took an occasional gla.s.s of wine are unworthy of serious consideration; are unworthy of any consideration.

In connection with the above the reports of some cases of _violence_ and _accidents_ during pregnancy which, in spite of their severity, did not affect the children, will prove of interest.

A delicate little woman missed her periods. She was sure she couldn't be more than two weeks over-due. And this is what she did. For five nights in succession she took hot mustard baths and she took them so hot that each time she nearly fainted and came out from them like a broiled lobster. No effect. She then took a box of pills which cost her two dollars. No effect except causing diarrhea. She then took two boxes of capsules which upset her stomach and made her fearfully nauseous. No other effect. She then ate one-half a colocynth, which made her terribly sick, causing a b.l.o.o.d.y diarrhea. She had to stay in bed for three or four days. She then took burning v.a.g.i.n.al injections with some ipecac in them. No effect except making her feel raw so that she needed large amounts of cold cream. She then took secale cornutum and radix gossypii. No effect except giving her a headache, making her sick to her stomach and completely destroying her appet.i.te, so that within a very short time she lost nearly ten pounds. She was then told that long walks might be efficient. She took walks of six and seven miles at a time, coming home more dead than alive. No effect. She then heard that jumping off a table is a very efficient means. She did it a dozen times in succession so that she was completely f.a.gged out and out of breath. Eight and a half months later she gave birth to a perfectly healthy, well-formed boy weighing eight pounds.

The following case was reported by Brillaud-Laujardiere. A farmer who was responsible for the condition of a servant of his household conceived the idea of riding horseback with her in order to bring about an abortion, and pus.h.i.+ng her off when the horse was running at great speed. This he repeated several times. The woman gave birth to a perfectly normal infant at full term.

Hofmann reports that another farmer, under similar circ.u.mstances, brutally kicked the woman in the abdomen repeatedly until she lost consciousness. The pregnancy continued to full term notwithstanding.

In another case of Hofmann's, a woman allowed a heavy door to fall upon her, but the pregnancy was not affected.

Dr. Guibout relates that a German woman, living with her husband in California, being pregnant, wished to return to Munich, her home-town, to be delivered. The train in which she travelled through Panama collided with another train. Threatened abortion required her to take a rest. She took a steamer and after a very rough pa.s.sage reached Portsmouth. From there she went to Paris. Here she fell down a flight of stairs in the hotel where she was stopping. Again she was threatened with abortion, but after a rest was in good condition and continued her journey. She finally reached home, and was delivered at full term of a normal infant.

Vibert reports the case of a woman who was in a train accident which injured her severely, killed two of her children, but did not affect her pregnancy. She was delivered at the proper time of a normal baby.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

THE MENOPAUSE OR CHANGE OF LIFE

Time of Menopause--Cause of Suffering During Menopause-- Reproductive Function and s.e.xual Function Not Synonymous-- Increased Libido During Menopause--Change of Life in Men.

In the chapter on menstruation I referred briefly to the menopause. I will consider it here somewhat more in detail.

The menopause, also called the climacteric, and in common language "change of life," is the period at which woman ceases to menstruate.

The average age at which this occurs is about forty-eight. But while some women continue to menstruate up to the age of fifty, fifty-two, and even fifty-five, others cease to menstruate at the age of forty-five or even forty-two. Between forty-four and fifty-two are the normal limits. Anything before or beyond that is exceptional.

Just as the beginning of menstruation may set in without any trouble of any kind, and just as some women have not the slightest unpleasant symptoms during the entire period of their menstrual life, so the menopause occurs in some women without any trouble, physical or psychic. The periods between the menses become perhaps a little longer, or a little irregular, the menstrual flow becomes more and more scanty, then one or several periods may be skipped altogether, and the menopause is permanently established. Many women, however, the majority probably, suffer considerably during the transitional year or years of the menopause. Symptoms are both of a physical and of a psychic character, but the psychic symptoms predominate. There may be headache, capricious appet.i.te, or complete loss of appet.i.te, considerable loss of flesh, or on the contrary very sudden and rapid putting on of fat, great irritability, insomnia, profuse perspiration; hot flashes throughout the body, and particularly in the face, which make the face "blus.h.i.+ng" and congested, are particularly frequent.

Then the woman's character may be completely changed. From gentle and submissive she may become pugnacious and quarrelsome. Jealousy without any grounds for it may be one of the disagreeable symptoms, making both the wife and the husband very unhappy. In some exceptional cases a genuine neurosis or psychosis may develop.

=Cause of Suffering During Menopause.= It is my conviction, and I have had this conviction for many years, that many, if not most, of the distressing symptoms of the menopause are due, not to the menopause itself, but to the wrong ideas about this period that have prevailed for so many centuries. We know the influence of the mind over the body, and the pernicious effect which wrong ideas may exercise over our feelings. The generally prevalent opinion among women, and men for that matter, and not only of the laity but unfortunately of the medical profession as well, is that the menopause is the end of woman's s.e.xual life. Every woman is laboring under the erroneous impression that with the establishment of the menopause, with the cessation of the menses, she ceases to be a woman, and as she does not become a man, she becomes something of a neuter being, neither woman nor man. And she has the idea that after the menopause she can have no further attraction for her husband or for other men. Naturally such an idea has a very depressing effect on any human being. Any human being fights to the last to retain all its human functions, especially the function which is considered as important as is the s.e.xual function.

=Reproductive Function and s.e.xual Function Not Synonymous.= Of course with the permanent cessation of the menses the woman's _reproductive_ function is at an end. But the reproductive function is _not_ synonymous with the s.e.xual function, I must insist again and again, and naturally until this erroneous idea is dispelled much unnecessary misery will be the lot of our women. If women in general will learn that with the establishment of the menopause they do _not_ cease to be women, if they will learn that the s.e.xual desire in women lasts long beyond the cessation of the menopause, many women being as pa.s.sionate at sixty as at thirty, if they will learn that their attractiveness or non-attractiveness to the male s.e.x does not depend upon the menopause, but upon their general condition, if they will learn that many women at fifty and sixty are much more attractive than some women at half that age, they will not take the onset of the menopause so tragically and they will thereby avoid the greater part of their mental and emotional suffering.

The actual atrophy of the ovaries, uterus, external genitals and the b.r.e.a.s.t.s can, of course, not be prevented, but that atrophy is a slow and gradual process, and is not in itself the cause of the various distressing symptoms that we have enumerated.

The treatment of the menopause, if the symptoms are at all disagreeable, or distressing, should be in the hands of a competent physician. A little wholesome advice may be more efficient than gallons of medicine and bushels of pills. In general the woman should try to lead as calm and peaceful a life as possible. Warm baths daily are beneficial, constipation should be guarded against, hot v.a.g.i.n.al douches are often efficient against the disagreeable flushes, and last, but not least, the husband should during this critical period be doubly kind and doubly considerate of his wife. It is during the years between forty-five and fifty-five that the wife is most in need of her husband's sympathy and support.

=Increased Libido During Menopause.= There is one rather delicate symptom which I must not pa.s.s unmentioned. Some women during the years while the menopause is being established, and for some years after the menopause, experience a greatly heightened s.e.xual desire. In some cases this increased libido is normal, that is, no other pathologic symptoms or local conditions can be discovered. In some cases the increased libido is distinctly due to local congestion, congestion of the ovaries, the uterus, etc. In some cases, I can distinctly testify, it is psychic or autosuggestive. Because the woman thinks, and believes that other people think, that she is soon going to lose all her s.e.xuality, she unconsciously works herself up into a s.e.xual pa.s.sion which sometimes may be of long duration and may even lead to disastrous results.

What to do in such cases? Where the woman's libido is normal or near normal, then naturally it should be normally gratified. But if the libido seems to be abnormally strong and the demands for s.e.xual gratification are too frequent, then the woman should be treated and s.e.xual gratification should not be indulged in, because in such cases, as a rule, s.e.xual gratification only adds fuel to the fire, and the woman's demands may become more and more frequent, more and more insistent. In exceptional cases it may even reach the intensity of nymphomania. In such cases the aid of a tactful physician is indispensable.

Change of Life in Men

To people not familiar with the subject it sounds rather strange to speak of "change of life" in men.

Man, possessing no menstrual function, cannot have any menopause, but still s.e.xologists and psychologists who have studied the subject carefully are convinced that between the ages of forty-five and fifty-five men also undergo a certain change which may be spoken of as the change of life or the male climacteric.

They become irritable, capricious, very susceptible to feminine charms, are apt to fall in love, and in many the s.e.xual instinct is greatly increased. As in women, this increase of the s.e.xual desire is sometimes due to pathologic causes, such as an inflamed prostate gland--in other cases it is of psychic origin.

Just as a man should be particularly kind and considerate to his wife during her menopause, so the wife, understanding that her husband is going through a critical period, will also increase her tact, patience and consideration.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

THE HABIT OF MASTURBATION

Definition of Masturbation--Its Injurious Effects in Girls as Compared with Boys--Married Life of the Girl Masturbator-- Necessity for Change in Injurious Att.i.tude of Parents who Discover the Habit--Common-sense Treatment of the Habit--How to Prevent Formation of Habit--Parents' Advice to Children--Hot Baths as Factor in Masturbation--Other Physical Factors--Mental Masturbation and Its Effects.

Masturbation or self-abuse is a term applied to a bad habit which consists in handling and rubbing the genitals. It is a bad habit because it is apt to injure the health and future development of the girl. The more frequently it is practiced, the more injurious it is.

It is more injurious than when practiced by boys, because the effects are usually more permanent. Girls who indulge in the habit of masturbation to excess not only weaken themselves, become anemic and get a dingy, pimply complexion, but they lose their desire for normal s.e.xual relations when they grow up, and are unable to derive any pleasure from the s.e.xual act when they get married. In fact, many girls who m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.ed excessively get a strong aversion to the normal s.e.xual act, and their married life is an unhappy one. Their husbands often have to ask for a divorce. Fortunately, the habit is much less widespread among girls than it is among boys. While about ninety per cent. of all boys--nine out of every ten--m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e more or less, only about ten or at most twenty per cent. of girls are addicted to this habit. But whatever the percentage may be, the habit is an injurious one, and if you value your health, your beauty and proper growth and mental development, you should not indulge in it. If you are already indulging, if you are used to handling your genitals, if a bad companion has initiated you into the habit, you should give it up.

And mothers should watch their children, guard them against developing the habit, and do everything possible to cure them of it, if prevention comes too late.

But while as you see I do not deny the evil effects of masturbation, it is necessary to state that a great change has taken place in our opinions on the subject, and it is but right that parents should know of this change of opinion among the medical profession, particularly among those who specialize in s.e.xology.

=Wrong Behavior of Parents.= When parents make the "awful" discovery that their child is fondling its genitals or is indulging in masturbation, they feel as if a great calamity had befallen them.

They could not feel worse if they learned that the child was a thief or a pyromaniac. Imbued with the medieval idea of the "sinfulness" of the habit, as well as its injuriousness, they begin to scold the child, to frighten it, to make it believe that it is doing something terrible, that it has disgraced them and itself; and they try to persuade it that, unless it stops immediately, the most direful consequences are awaiting it. The results of this mode of procedure are disastrous--much more so than is the masturbation itself.

Often the scolding and the exposure of the child are done in the presence of others. This implants in the poor girl a sullen resentment that only makes it more difficult for it to break the habit. When the child is brought to the physician, you can see by its behavior, by its downcast looks, by its sulkiness, by its attempt to refrain from tears, and other signs, that it regards the physician in exactly the same light as a youthful criminal regards the judge before whom he has been brought for trial.

It is time, high time, that this silly and injurious att.i.tude toward a practice, which is very common, be radically changed. It is time that parents and physicians learn that the injuriousness of the habit has been greatly, grossly exaggerated. It is time that they know that the vast majority of boys and girls get over the habit without being much, or any, the worse for it. The knowledge of this fact will not only save them and the children much needless anguish and suffering, but will make it much easier to deal with the latter, make it much easier to get them divorced from the habit.

If we look at the matter in a sensible, common-sense way, and do not tell the child caught in the practice that it has done something disgracefully vicious and criminal, but speak to it kindly and tell it that it is doing something that may injure it greatly, that may interfere with its future mental and physical health and development, then we shall have far greater success in our endeavors to break the boy or the girl of the habit of masturbation. As I have said in another place:

"In my opinion, stigmatizing even the most moderate indulgence in masturbation as a vice has a deleterious effect upon the people who so indulge and makes it harder for them to break off the habit. Every thinking physician and s.e.xologist can tell you that picturing the masturbatory habit in too lurid colors and stigmatizing it with too strong epithets has, as a rule, the contrary effect to the one expected. The victims of the habit consider themselves degraded, irretrievably lost. They lose their self-respect, and it is, on account of that, harder for them to break themselves of the habit."

We shall accomplish a good deal more with our youthful and older patients if we leave alone, altogether, the moral side of the question--if there be any moral side to it--and emphasize the physical injuriousness of the habit. We do not want to diminish the self-respect of our boys and girls, we want to increase it; and we can not do this if we make them believe that a masturbator is a vicious criminal. Inspire your patients with confidence, tell them that indulgence in the habit jeopardizes their future growth, both physical and mental, their health and happiness, and you will find them easier to control.

I am not trying to minimize the danger of masturbation, for, if indulged in from an early age and to great excess, the results _may_ be disastrous. But, even if I were to minimize the evil consequences, that would be less of a sin than to exaggerate them the way it has been done for so many years, by so many people in the profession and out of it. The evil results of exaggerating the influence of masturbation have been so great in the past that, if now the pendulum were to swing to the other extreme, I am sure it would not be a bad thing at all.