The Red Hand of Ulster Part 32

"He's to be tried by court martial," said Crossan, "on suspicion of being a spy."

G.o.dfrey actually haunts me. No sooner have I achieved a moment's peace and quietness--with the greatest difficulty in the middle of a rebellion--than G.o.dfrey breaks in on me. How he came to be in Belfast I could only dimly guess. It seemed likely that, having heard that a battle was going on, he came to the scene of it in the hope of pillage.

"I suppose," I said, "they won't actually hang him?"

"It was him, as your lords.h.i.+p is aware," said Crossan, "that gave the first information to the Government."

Crossan, in spite of the fact that he was a victorious general, preserved his peculiar kind of respect for my t.i.tle. He did not, indeed, take off his hat when he entered the room, but that was only because soldiers, while on duty, never take off their hats.

"Don't be absurd, Crossan," I said. "You know perfectly well that he hasn't intelligence enough to give anything but wrong information to any Government. What he told the Chancellor of the Exchequer when he wrote to him was that you were smuggling."

"If your lords.h.i.+p doesn't care to interfere--," said Crossan.

"Can I help in any way?" said Bland.

He had been eating steadily and had finished the two crabs. I had not eaten more than three or four mouthfuls of game pie. I felt I might accept his offer.

"If you've any experience of courts martial," I said, "I haven't--and if you really don't mind trotting off--"

"Not a bit," said Bland. "In fact a court martial would be rather a scoop for me. I'm sure the public would want to know how it's run."

"I shall feel greatly obliged to you," I said. "The fact is that a nephew of mine is going to be hanged as a spy. You said you were going to hang him, didn't you, Crossan?"

"I think it likely, my lord," said Crossan.

"Of course," I said, "he richly deserves it; and so far as my own personal feelings go I should be very glad if he were hanged. But, of course, he's my nephew and people might think I'd been unkind to him if I made no effort to save him. One must consider public opinion more or less. So if you could arrange to rescue him--"

While I was speaking c.l.i.thering shambled into the room. He was wearing a suit of pyjamas not nearly big enough for him. The waiter who put him to bed was quite a small man. The pyjamas must have been his. He asked us to find his clothes for him, and said that he wanted to go to the post-office.

"I must send a telegram to the Prime Minister," he said. "I must send it at once."

Crossan eyed him very suspiciously.

"It strikes me," said Bland, "that if you're caught sending telegrams to the Prime Minister you'll be hanged too."

"They're just going to hang a nephew of mine," I explained, "for writing a letter to the Chancellor of the Exchequer. You can see for yourself that a telegram to the Prime Minister is much worse. I really think you'd better stay where you are."

But c.l.i.thering was, unfortunately, in a mood of hysterical heroism. He said that he did not value his life, that lives were only given to men in order that they might lay them down, and that the n.o.blest way of laying down a life was in the service of humanity.

I could see that Crossan was getting more and more suspicious every minute.

"It is in order to save the lives of others," he said, "that I want to send my telegram to the Prime Minister."

Crossan actually scowled at c.l.i.thering. I expected that he would arrest him at once. There might have been, for all I knew, a Committee of Public Safety sitting in the Town Hall. I could imagine Crossan hauling the unfortunate c.l.i.thering before it on a charge of communicating with the Prime Minister. I could imagine c.l.i.thering, heroic to the last, waving his incriminating telegram in the faces of his judges. Bland saved the situation.

"Come along, Colonel," he said. "Show me where that court martial of yours is sitting. Lord Kilmore will restrain this lunatic till we get back."

Crossan may have been pleased at being addressed as Colonel. Or he may have trusted that I would prevent any telegram being sent to the Prime Minister. At all events, he stopped scowling at c.l.i.thering and went off with Bland. I offered c.l.i.thering some of the game pie, but he refused to touch it. He sat down at a corner of the table and asked me to lend him a pencil and some paper. I did so, and he composed several long telegrams. The writing evidently soothed him. When he had finished he asked me quite calmly whether I thought he would really be hanged if he went to the post-office. I was not at all sure that he would not. c.l.i.thering sighed when he heard my opinion. Then he sat silent for a long time, evidently trying to make up his mind to the hanging.

"If I could get the telegram through first," he said at last, "I shouldn't so much mind--"

"But you wouldn't," I said; "and what is the good of throwing away your life without accomplis.h.i.+ng anything?"

"It's terrible," said c.l.i.thering, "terrible."

It was terrible, of course; but I was beginning to get tired of c.l.i.thering. Besides, he looked very ridiculous in pyjamas which only reached halfway down his legs and arms.

"Don't you think," I said, "that it would be better for you to go back to bed? You'll be safe there, and it won't really matter much whether your telegram goes to the Prime Minister or not. A little sleep will do you all the good in the world."

"We have murdered sleep," said c.l.i.thering.

I never realized the full immensity of c.l.i.thering's fatuousness until he uttered that mangled quotation from Macbeth in the tone of an old-fas.h.i.+oned tragedian. I believe the man actually revelled in harrowing emotion. It would not have surprised me to hear him a.s.sure me that the "mult.i.tudinous seas" would not wash out the blood-stains from his hands. He might very well have asked for "some sweet oblivious antidote." If he had known the pa.s.sages I am sure he would have quoted them.

"Do go to bed," I said.

Then Bland came in leading G.o.dfrey with him.

"I rescued him," said Bland, "without very much difficulty."

"I call it frightful cheek," said G.o.dfrey, "fellows like that who ought to be touching their hats to me and saying 'Sir' when they speak to me--Fancy them daring--"

This view of the matter was very characteristic of G.o.dfrey. I really believe that he would dislike being hanged much less if the executioner were one of the small cla.s.s of men whom he recognizes as his social equals.

"They gave him quite a fair trial," said Bland, "and had just condemned him when--"

"That fellow Crossan in particular," said G.o.dfrey.

"The Colonel ran round to tell you," said Bland. "I rather fancy they wanted to get off carrying out the sentence if they could."

"A lot of fellows," said G.o.dfrey sulkily, "who ought to be wheeling barrows! But it's very largely your fault, Excellency. You always encouraged that cla.s.s. If you'd kept them in their proper places--"

"What on earth brought you to Belfast?" I said. "Why didn't you stay at home? n.o.body wants you here. Why did you come?"

G.o.dfrey looked uneasily at Bland. He evidently did not want to make his reason for coming to Belfast public property. G.o.dfrey is usually quite shameless. I could only imagine that he had done something of a peculiarly repulsive kind.

"Well," I said, "why did you come?"

He looked at Bland again, and then nodded sideways at me.

"I suppose," I said, "that you thought there might be some a.s.sessment made by the Government of the amount of damage done in the town, and that if you started valuing things at once on your own hook, you might possibly get a job out of it."

"But is there?" said G.o.dfrey eagerly; "for if there is--"

"So far as I know there isn't," I said.

"Anyhow it wasn't that which brought me to Belfast. The fact is, Excellency, I couldn't very well stay at home. You remember,"--here his voice sunk to a whisper--"what I told you about the Pringles."

"Your bank account?"