Speed the Plough Part 14

_Sir Philip._ Pshaw! [_Apart._] Lady Handy, some of your people were inquiring for you.

_Lady H._ Thank you, sir. Come, Sir Abel. [_Exit._

_Sir Abel._ Yes, my lady--I say [_To_ EVERGREEN.] cou'dn't you give me a hint of the way he had--

_Lady H._ [_Without._] Sir Abel!

_Sir Abel._ Coming, my soul! [_Exit._

_Sir Philip._ So! you have well obeyed my orders in keeping this Henry from my presence.

_Everg._ I was not to blame, master.

_Sir Philip._ Has Farmer Ashfield left the Castle?

_Everg._ No, sir.

_Sir Philip._ Send him hither. [_Exit_ EVERGREEN.] That boy must be driven far, far from my sight--but where?--no matter! the world is large enough.

_Enter_ ASHFIELD.

--Come hither. I believe you hold a farm of mine.

_Ash._ Ees, zur, I do, at your zarvice.

_Sir Philip._ I hope a profitable one?

_Ash._ Zometimes it be, zur. But thic year it be all t'other way as 'twur--but I do hope, as our landlords have a tightish big lump of the good, they'll be zo kind hearted as to take a little bit of the bad.

_Sir Philip._ It is but reasonable--I conclude then you are in my debt.

_Ash._ Ees, zur, I be--at your zarvice.

_Sir Philip._ How much?

_Ash._ I do owe ye a hundred and fifty pounds--at your zarvice.

_Sir Philip._ Which you can't pay?

_Ash._ Not a varthing, zur--at your zarvice.

_Sir Philip._ Well, I am willing to give you every indulgence.

_Ash._ Be you, zur? that be deadly kind. Dear heart! it will make my auld dame quite young again, and I don't think helping a poor man will do your honour's health any harm--I don't indeed, zur--I had a thought of speaking to your wors.h.i.+p about it--but then, thinks I, the gentleman, mayhap, be one of those that do like to do a good turn, and not have a word zaid about it--zo, zur, if you had not mentioned what I owed you, I am zure I never should--should not, indeed, zur.

_Sir Philip._ Nay, I will wholly acquit you of the debt, on condition--

_Ash._ Ees, zur.

_Sir Philip._ On condition, I say, you instantly turn out that boy--that Henry.

_Ash._ Turn out Henry!--Ha, ha, ha! Excuse my t.i.ttering, zur; but you bees making your vun of I, zure.

_Sir Philip._ I am not apt to trifle--send him instantly from you, or take the consequences.

_Ash._ Turn out Henry! I do vow I shou'dn't knaw how to zet about it--I should not, indeed, zur.

_Sir Philip._ You hear my determination. If you disobey, you know what will follow--I'll leave you to reflect on it. [_Exit._

_Ash._ Well, zur, I'll argufy the topic, and then you may wait upon me, and I'll tell ye. [_Makes the motion of turning out._]--I shou'd be deadly awkward at it, vor zartain--however, I'll put the case--Well! I goes whiztling whoam--noa, drabbit it! I shou'dn't be able to whiztle a bit, I'm zure. Well! I goas whoam, and I zees Henry zitting by my wife, mixing up someit to comfort the wold zoul, and take away the pain of her rheumatics--Very well! Then Henry places a chair vor I by the vire zide, and says---"Varmer, the horses be fed, the sheep be folded, and you have nothing to do but to zit down, smoke your pipe, and be happy!" Very well! [_Becomes affected._] Then I zays--"Henry, you be poor and friendless, zo you must turn out of my houze directly." Very well! then my wife stares at I--reaches her hand towards the vire place, and throws the poker at my head. Very well! then Henry gives a kind of aguish shake, and getting up, sighs from the bottom of his heart--then holding up his head like a king, zays--"Varmer, I have too long been a burden to you--Heaven protect you, as you have me--Farewell! I go." Then I says, "If thee doez I'll be domn'd!" [_With great energy._] Hollo! you Mister Sir Philip! you may come in.--

_Enter_ SIR PHILIP BLANDFORD.

Zur, I have argufied the topic, and it wou'dn't be pratty--zo I can't.

_Sir Philip._ Can't! absurd!

_Ash._ Well, zur, there is but another word--I wont.

_Sir Philip._ Indeed!

_Ash._ No, zur, I won't--I'd zee myself hang'd first, and you too, zur--I wou'd indeed. [_Bowing._

_Sir Philip._ You refuse then to obey.

_Ash._ I do, zur--at your zarvice. [_Bowing._

_Sir Philip._ Then the law must take its course.

_Ash._ I be zorry for that too--I be, indeed, zur, but if corn wou'dn't grow I cou'dn't help it; it wer'n't poison'd by the hand that zow'd it.

Thic hand, zur, be as free from guilt as your own.

_Sir Philip._ Oh! [_Sighing deeply._

_Ash._ It were never held out to clinch a hard bargain, nor will it turn a good lad out into the wide wicked world, because he be poorish a bit.

I be zorry you be offended, zur, quite--but come what wool, I'll never hit thic hand against here, but when I be zure that zumeit at inside will jump against it with pleasure. [_Bowing._] I do hope you'll repent of all your zins--I do, indeed, zur; and if you shou'd, I'll come and zee you again as friendly as ever--I wool, indeed, zur.

_Sir Philip._ Your repentance will come too late. [_Exit._

_Ash._ Thank ye, zur--Good morning to you--I do hope I have made myzel agreeable--and so I'll go whoam. [_Exit._

ACT THE FOURTH.

SCENE I.