A Dialogue Between Dean Swift and Tho. Prior, Esq. Part 3

PRIOR. These Thoughts disturb the b.r.e.a.s.t.s of the Dead, as well as the Pa.s.sions of the Living; for it is certain if our higher People shew'd a true publick Spirit, it wou'd produce vast Effects amongst us; it wou'd stir up Invention, Industry and Emulation, and in a Word awaken every Genius, every useful Man in this Kingdom. We have had very extraordinary Persons Born and Educated here, and we wou'd have them still, if our Leaders wou'd make use of that plain Method, by proper Premiums to raise Seed-Beds and Nurseries for them, and use our Youth to think, and to excell. How easily might they call out every one's best Qualities, to the properest Purposes, and encourage every Man, who finds he has the Seeds of Virtue, the Power of Thinking and Acting for himself or others, and a proper force of Mind, to try how far his Abilities can go. If this can't be brought about, and if for want of such a miserable Stock of common Sense and common Virtue in _Ireland_, we are to be left to ourselves, and employ'd in doing nothing but making a little Linen, I can only say, we are the most negligent and neglected People under Heaven.

SWIFT. Ah _Tom! Tom!_ what must we think of our Physicians, where our Diseases are so dangerous and are yet so manageable, and where the Remedies are so easy and parable? Where nothing but slighting our Disorders can make our Cure doubtful, and where they give over the Patient barely for want of being feed? What must become of a Country, where about 600,000 _l._ of its Rents are annually spent Abroad, by a Crowd of Parricides, which we call Absentees; where as much more is spent at home, in foreign Growths or Manufactures by _Irish_ Suicides, and the rest is laid out in Dress and Equipage, in Gaming and Drinking, and Horse-Racing, except a Pittance that is scrambled for, by our Labourers and Workmen to buy Potatoes and Whisky, and once in a Month, half a Peck of Meal for the Children of the Nation. What will become of a Kingdom, whose Manufactures are the Scorn of its own Inhabitants; who will not Drink of their own Liquors, write on their own Paper, or be fed with their own Bread, as I observ'd before, and can't observe too often: Nay, where the Poor by giving into these fine Fas.h.i.+ons, seem as well inclin'd to destroy us as the Rich? What must become of a Nation of Beggars, and none to relieve them? What must become of a Country, where the common People make as much Interest, to be put on the List of the Parish Poor, and be authorized to Starve upon Charity; as their Landlords, and 'Squires do to get a Place or a Sallary, to make amends to them, for outrunning their Fortunes, and to appear like dignified Beggars, who for ruining themselves and the Nation, are Nursed at the publick Charge, as the _Athenians_ used to keep their true Patriots, in the _Areopagus_ on Pension, when old and reduced in their Service.

PRIOR. Why indeed, Mr. _Dean_----

SWIFT. Indeed, _Tom_, I have not done, nor I won't be interrupted. I say what will become of a Nation, where we are charg'd so immensely for unbuilt or ill-built Barracks, for our Soldiers which we cannot use, which we did not want; and where we won't lay out a necessary Expence to build Houses of Correction, that wou'd force every Idler to Labour, and tho' we know that Idleness is the Seed of Rebellion? What will become of a Nation, where we spend immensely to ruin it, and grudge laying out a few s.h.i.+llings, or the smallest Tax to serve it, by encouraging our People to Labour and be Industrious? Where we are grown so heedless and unthinking, that our political Creed, must be as often repeated in our Ears, as our Religious one, before we will take care to understand, or shew we believe it by our Practice? Where we are so notoriously Dull, or so artificially Insensible, that we must be told our true Interest a thousand Times over, before we'll regard it, or where those who know our true Interest best, will Sacrifice it either to their Vanity, Ease, Pleasure or Ambition, or at least to their giddy, senseless, Carelessness? What must become of a Kingdom, where we are grown so resign'd, that we no more offer to complain of the hardness of our Case, if two or three honest Gentlemen bid us hold our Tongue, than a dying Man against the Will of Heaven? Where we either seem to have lost the Sense of Groaning by the length of our Distemper, or by knowing from long Experience, it will be in vain; or else that we fear bawling, as in the House of Correction, will but increase the Blows, both as to Number and Smart. Where People keep their Tongues in their Pockets, as Highway-Men do their Pistols, never to be pull'd out but in hopes of getting Money; and where so many, of our most eminent Guardians and Representatives, command Men to be silent and quiet and bear all, as the Executioner said to Don [4]_Carlos_, when he was struggling to hinder his being Strangled, ''Tis for your good Don _Carlos_! be quiet, 'tis for your Good!' Nay what will become of a Nation, where whoever Attempts to help it, is either mark'd out for Destruction, as I was by a certain Lord Chief Justice, or revil'd and hated.

[4] _The King of_ Spain_'s son put to Death privately by his Order._

PRIOR. There _Dean_, you must give me leave to say, you certainly go too far, to hate our Benefactors is not in human Nature.

SWIFT. Whether 'tis in human Nature I know not, but I am sure 'tis in _Ireland_; for I found myself hated there sincerely by different People, and for different Reasons. I was actually hated, by all who cou'd help it, but would not or durst not, and by all who wou'd help it themselves and knew not how, and abhorr'd to have it done by others. I was hated by all who long'd to hurt it, but as they cou'd not, detested those that hindered them, and by all who do not Care to have great Examples set them, which they are not fond of following, and lastly by all who neither love any Thing or any body but themselves, their Interests or Pleasures, and who had as believe talk of serving Heaven as their Country. Indeed the common People who come not under these Distinctions, lov'd me well enough to Drink my Health, especially, when I gave them the Liquor; and I doubt not wou'd have accompanied me to the Gallows, with many a zealous Prayer, if I had been Hanged for Writing for them. But at the same Time my Character was revil'd and attack'd with a Number of scandalous Stories, and my Zeal and my Patriotism exposed to Derision; and I was so far from having any Regard shewn me by my Governors, that in a Country where Numbers get Pensions for nothing, and Places for Services that were never done, I was not once offer'd any additional Preferment to my Deanery, and I scorn'd or rather detested not only to Ask, but even to Wish for it, as I vow'd to you before. Most Nations indeed are but too apt to be thankless to their Deliverers, but this above all others, and the _Comperit invidiam supremo fine domari_, I found too often verified in myself and my Interests; and my Character too frequently and too barbarously insulted when Living; and now when I am laid in my Grave, they are grudging their Half-Crowns, to raise me a Monument, that will not last as many Months, as I writ Pages for them.

PRIOR. It is an Happiness, if the World proves ungrateful to the great and excellent Persons, who serve and adorn the Age that is blest with them, that they have a scorn for the Opinions of Men, or even their Love or their Hatred, their Preferments, or Honours. It is but a poor Sentiment of the ill.u.s.trious _Xenophon_'s, 'That Praise is sweet to those, who are Conscious they deserve it;' for on the contrary, I believe most of those, who truly deserve Praise, have look'd on it as the poorest and lowest Reward of well-doing. Great Minds who aim in their best Actions at the Glory of their Maker, and the pleasing that Author of all Good, by labouring to imitate him here below, have superior Views, and do not only look down with a generous Disdain on the Applause of others, as it is really trivial and mean, but also as they know, they never receive it pure, but dash'd with the Malice of Detractors, and the Spleen of those little Souls, who Envy them. As they are Deaf to their Praise, so great Minds from their natural Superiority, bear the Malice of their Enemies with equal Indifference, and strive to Copy after him whom they serve, by smiling at, and over-looking the base Ingrat.i.tude of those they have done Good to. I am sensible, _Dean_, as even your Donations will survive both the World and your own Name, you know from whom to expect your Wages, and when they will be paid you; but really when one considers, what wretched wicked, senseless, Mortals crowd this World, it wou'd make one, out of Countenance to be actuated merely by a Love to themselves and Descendants, without any Regard to him, who has commanded us to a.s.sist and befriend them.

SWIFT. I agree with you entirely; I have observed and studied Mankind too long, not to know the _animali Initus & in Cute_, and to look on their Service as perfect Slavery. I have lov'd some odd Men in my Time, but the whole Race in a Lump, are a dreadful Carnage of Sins and Infirmities, Errors and Failings, Reason and Pa.s.sion, that make a kind of Twilight in the best Understandings, that is neither Day nor Night, Knowledge or Ignorance, Vice or Virtue; but a kind of Olio of them all.

Even the highest Characters have their weak-sides, and the most refin'd, their Defects and their Failures, with all the Infirmities which Flesh is heir to, and this World where we dwell is apt to taint Men with. Nay I must tell you in some Verses of mine, which never fell into _Faulkner_'s Hands,

_p.r.o.ne to all Ill, the Flesh still warps the Soul, Hung like a Bya.s.s on the devious Bowl.

This gives a worldly Cast to all we do, Tho' Patriots, Heroes, Saints,----we're Sinners too!

Tho' some quite faultless in their Lives appear, Yet chain'd to this infectious Dungeon here, Men small of Earth, like Pris'ners of their Jail, And tainted from the Womb, the best are Frail!_

This is poor Poetry, _Tom_, but they are honest Thoughts, and such (Death has taught me that Lesson) are worth all the Wit in the World.

But I shall quit this Subject, to return to another fear I have for the Prosperity of _Ireland_, and that is the terrible and senseless Factions, that divide our unfortunate Countrymen. The first great Division among them, is their Disputes about spiritual Matters, as Protestants and Papists. It is not the Danger to the State that alarms me, for that is quite over; but the Indisposition to Unity and mutual Affection; by which means the Kingdom is lessen'd in its force and weight, while we seem to drag like a Man in a Palsy, one half of our Body after the other, which ought to co-operate with it.

PRIOR. I must add to what you mention, Mr. _Dean_, that it is a terrible Circ.u.mstance, to be surrounded by Catholick Neighbours, who many of them think they wou'd do G.o.d good Service, if they extirpated Heresy out of this Island; and therefore till we can get Priests with better Principles, or remove such inhuman Prejudices, by giving their People better Opinions, than that they ought to persecute a Protestant with Fire and Sword; we shall ever be a feeble disunited Nation. We to this Hour suffer under a loss of Blood and Spirits, from former Wars, Rebellions and Ma.s.sacres; but as it is probable they will every Day, be less bigotted, and as their living and conversing so much with the Protestants, and their going into their ways of Thinking and Living, has taken off the Edge of their Animosity; one wou'd hope we shall be in no Danger from such Accidents hereafter.

SWIFT. I wish and believe it, _Tom_, in Charity; yet still their Religion, and their superst.i.tious Pilgrimages, Nunneries, Holidays, (as we discoursed already) make them lazy and indolent; and their yearly Lents, and weekly Fasts, indispose if they do not disable their labouring Poor to Work as much as their Wants require; the spiritual Taxes which they pay their numerous Clergy, of all Denominations, who in the Words of the Prophet, 'Eat up the Sins of the People, keep them very low, and unable, as well as unwilling to join us in serving the Nation; and their Language and Manners tho' improv'd, yet still continue such a Difference between us and them, as must long keep us disjointed, and therefore broken in our Strength as a Community. At present we make a s.h.i.+ft to live Civily together, but are so far from being closely United, as by Care and Management we might be; that we seem like some married Couples, to be rather yoak'd together by Law, than tied by mutual Affection. But I shall pa.s.s over this great Source of Dissention among us, as much as it hurts us, to take Notice of another ill-omen'd Circ.u.mstance to our Welfare, and that is the terrible Parties and Factions among Protestants, which also quite enervate our Force as a Nation. I remember when I liv'd in _England_, in the four last stormy Years of Queen _Ann_'s Reign, I made a few Verses, (tho' I never Printed them for fear of Lord _Bollinbroke_) on High and Low Church, which may be applied to _Ireland_ on this Occasion.

_For as two Sawyers in a Pit, Toiling a ma.s.sy Beam to Slit, A like their Skill and Prowess show, While one draws High and t'other Low.

So_ WHIG _and_ TORY, BRITAIN _tear Asunder, and her Strength impair.

While Factions all their Arts renew, To cut the Nation into Two._

This will ever weaken all Governments tho' never so strongly cemented otherwise; but in _Ireland_ it must add Ruin to our natural Infirmities.

PRIOR. It is very true, and yet we cherish Factions as if we were to thrive by them, tho' they prey on the Vitals of our Country, but I believe there is no Nation in _Europe_, that acts so much against her own Welfare as _Ireland_, or suffers more remarkably by it. The great Maxim of its being madness to Trust Men's Promises and Engagements, but that we are quite safe to Trust their real Interests, seldom holds true in _Ireland_, for here you may trust Men's Words safely in most Things, but they are scarce ever to be depended on, where you wou'd imagine the Interest of the Kingdom secures them to you. It is strange to consider the Violence also with which they Act against each other, for if some hot People had their Will, they wou'd in their Contests hang up one third of the Nation on ill Reports, and then on the least Turn of the Tide, when they cool, they are as ready to String up all their beloved Informers, as Slanderers; if that general Inclination People have to listen to Malice, did not prevail on them to spare them.

SWIFT. One wou'd imagine where so much Pa.s.sion is shewn, that they wrangled for something very Important; but as it is observ'd, that none are so litigious as the Poor, because they have but little to lose, so our People keep up the heat of their Parties (which if it cools, like that of a Gla.s.s-House all Work stops) by every Trifle, by every Word, by every Doubt, that can give the least Colour for a Difference. In a high Sea and a weak crazy s.h.i.+p, one wou'd suppose there shou'd be no Dispute in the Crew, but who shou'd stop the Leaks and ply the Pumps fastest; but we mind every Thing but our safety, which we sacrifice to our ardour for Noise and Wrangling, and prefer our Resentments to our Lives. If our great Partisans of both Sides, disputed, who shou'd serve their Country most essentially, or who shou'd promote the Tillage or Manufactures of the Kingdom in the best Manner, it wou'd make us the happiest of Nations. This wou'd be as n.o.ble a Contention of our Demagogues, as that of the _Horatii_ and _Curiatii_, for the Grandeur and Glory of _Rome_ and _Alba_, and wou'd end like that in Reconcilement and Peace. If any Thing cou'd calm or unite us, the single Reflection wou'd do it, that if the joint force and weight of the Nation, was employ'd in pus.h.i.+ng on its true Interests, (whenever they came to be debated) nothing cou'd withstand or endanger them. But we break our Strength, by crumbling into mean Divisions, petty Interests and private Views; and while every one's Charity begins at home, the Publick is beggar'd and no one relieves it. The general Welfare is quite over-look'd, while low-minded Wretches are taking Care of their particular Advantages; and I have ever observ'd that when Places and Pensions and Preferments were settled, the real Business of the Nation and its Parties, was thought to be as providentially adjusted, as that of a Match between two Families, when the Portion and Jointures, and Provisions for younger Children were agreed on. In short, _Tom_, the Misery of our Case is, that the good of our Country, like the Happiness of another Life, is oftner talk'd of for shew, than pursued in reality.

PRIOR. Indeed _Dean_, I have very long regarded, our Contentions and Parties in this Kingdom, in the same Light you do, and that instead of ever keeping in View the great Interests of _Ireland_, Men bawl out their Country! their Country! and mean nothing but themselves, advancing their Leaders, and thereby securing proper Emoluments, for every little Slave and Hireling that join with them. But what is most surprizing is, that while People are so cool to the Publick Interests, and to Things of the highest Importance; they are furious for Trifles, and every Imagination, every Guess, every nothing will set their Pa.s.sions in a Flame.

SWIFT. I have often lamented that Circ.u.mstance, as to this poor Island.

In truth, _Tom_, our Divisions and Factions here, are frequently as silly as those of two Gamesters, who tho' they play for nothing, will Quarrel dreadfully about cutting and dealing the Cards, and winning the Game. I am asham'd to say it, but the Contests and brawling of Children at their Push-pin, are sometimes substantial Things, to the Jangles and Feuds, I have known our Parties on some Occasions contend about, and alas! all we get by it, is to give our Enemies Pleasure, and our Friends Despair, while they see our wretched Country, quite forgot in the Squabble, and nothing but Power and Places, private Gain and sordid Interests attended to. But I will dwell no longer on this melancholy Subject, which looks so ill for this poor Kingdom, and I will now go to another Topick, in which the Conduct of our Countrymen is altogether as blameable, and is as fatal a Proof of their Coldness to the publick Interests; and that is their strange Neglect in finis.h.i.+ng our Northren Ca.n.a.l, and completing our Collieries in _Tyrone_.

PRIOR. I can never think of the scandalous Mismanagements in both those Affairs, without Shame and Concern. They are a Disgrace to our Country, either as to the Honesty or the Skillfulness of the Undertakers, as to different Parts of the Works relating to the Ca.n.a.l, and also as to the conducting the Design, and disbursing the Money employed on the Collieries.

SWIFT. We are not only the slowest Thinkers of what will do us Good, but we are the most slothful also, in bringing such Thoughts into Execution. The _Newry_ Ca.n.a.l has been carried on, under the Sanction of an Act of Parliament, and the Superintendance of the Navigation-board above twenty Years: And tho' in _Holland_, such a Work wou'd have been finish'd in half the Time, and by superior Skill, Oeconomy, and Honesty, at half the Expence; yet, after laying out immense Sums, there are still many Thousands wanting to make it a truly finish'd Affair. As with much ado we found out, that our own Hills abounded with the n.o.blest Coal in the World, and that our Poverty forced us to consider, that we paid on an Average about 60000 _l._ a Year for _Whitehaven_ Coal, the Nation at last undertook making the Ca.n.a.l from _Lough Neagh_, to the Sea, in Hopes they wou'd turn that vast Drain of Money, when we cou'd stop it, to better Purposes at home. Accordingly great Funds were a.s.signed it, and an infinite Number of Hands and Heads (or People that wore Heads) employed on it for a long s.p.a.ce of Time; and yet after vast Sputter, erring and re-erring, correcting and re-correcting, and expending near 60000 _l._ the Work is far from being compleated; nor can we yet say we are secure of our Ca.n.a.l or our Coal. Much has been promis'd, and yet by Mismanagements or Misfortunes, and different Obstacles, little has been done to answer the Expectations that were raised; and tho' we were a.s.sured we shou'd in a few Years have at least 20000 Ton of Coals brought every Year to _Dublin_, to help our Poor, we have not yet got 500.

PRIOR. I cannot account for the Disappointment, and it well deserves the Nation's Enquiry. If, as I heard good Judges say, the Work could have been finish'd in five Years Time, what have we lost, who for the last fifteen Years, have paid such vast Sums to _Whitehaven_, that we might have saved? And how much better had we managed, had we laid out double what it has cost us at the first, and cut short both our Loss and our Trouble?

SWIFT. Very true; but instead of this, they have, with true _Irish_ Policy, contrived to give large Sallaries to some Favourites to carry on the Work, and thus, in Effect, brib'd them to delay the Undertaking they were hired to finish. Thus these Plotters against themselves sink this n.o.ble, generous Design, into a low, miserable Job, and instead of a.s.sisting the Kingdom, they provide for five or six Families, that live comfortably on protracting the Execution. If the Colliery Company, whose Interest it is to finish the Ca.n.a.l, wou'd undertake the completing it, and fix the Terms with the Navigation-Board, we shou'd soon see the Matters well mended; but till that is done, we shall get nothing but half-work for double Time, and treble Charges.

PRIOR. The Board will take Care of it; but though they shou'd exert themselves ever so warmly, in finis.h.i.+ng the Ca.n.a.l, we can never hope for the Coal, unless the Nation makes a Waggon-Way of about 5000 Yards to the River; and as this will cost as many thousand Pounds, we must wait at least a Summer or two for that, in case the Parliament shou'd generously add this small Sum to all their former Bounties. When I consider, that this Kingdom loses so immensely every Year, that we want our Ca.n.a.l and our Coals, it makes me uneasy to think, we are after so many Years disputing about them, when we ought to be enjoying them; but as the remaining Part of the Expence, to finish this n.o.ble Design, is quite inconsiderable, compared to the Benefit we expect from it; and as the Nation must not be trifled with any longer, I hope we shall see it soon compleated. For some Years it has had the good Fortune, to be conducted through many Obstacles, under the Direction of a Prelate[5], to whose Skill and Zeal, whenever the Ca.n.a.l succeeds, _Ireland_ is deeply indebted, and will be forever oblig'd on that Account, to mention his Name with Honour. This is an encouraging Circ.u.mstance, and this further Hope of its Success, is left us, that it is now in the Hands of the natural Guardians of our Country, the Parliament; and as they well know what a vast Influence cheap or dear Coals have on many of our Manufactures, they will never let us be much longer deprived of this Blessing, which we expect from their Zeal to relieve all the Wants of _Ireland_.

[5] _His Grace of Tuam._

SWIFT. They need not be told, (though however if I was alive I would tell them of it) that if it cost us 20000 _l._ more, the Design well deserves it; and if it took a much larger Sum, it wou'd be a cheap Purchase of 60000 _l._ _per Annum_ saved to _Ireland_, which will be unquestionably the Case in a few Years. After having been such Spendthrifts so long, it looks like Impudence for us to talk of saving; but as Sickness is sometimes the Cause of Health, so Misfortunes and Misconduct may force us to be happy. It seems impossible, that either our Ca.n.a.l, or our Collieries, can any longer be delayed or neglected, and much less left in utter Danger of miscarrying, as I know it was for some Time; but I must say, it is a Grief to every Friend of _Ireland_, and a Satire on our Understandings, as well as our public Spirit, that we were so long in discovering such a Leak, and afterwards so tedious in stopping it up. If we were not a Nation as much made for Plunder, as smaller Animals are for Prey, we should long since have remedied this and many other Evils; but 'tis our peculiar Lot, to starve, like our old Friend _Tantalus_, with the Meat at our Mouths, to want Bread with the richest Fields in _Europe_ under our Feet, and to want Fire with the n.o.blest Mountains of Coals before our Eyes.

PRIOR. To see our Errors is one good Step to remove them; and if once our Legislature sets vigorously about proper Methods and Remedies for all our Distresses, there is Hope that their Zeal may make Things take a happier Turn, for this poor Kingdom.

SWIFT. I wish I may see such a blessed Change in our Affairs, but Seasons and Aspects are a little unpromising; and what discourages me the more is, another dreadful Quality of our People, that of their being so ready to desert and forsake their Country, which they leave as sillily as Birds quit their Nests, upon every little Fright or Disturbance, or just to gratify a wandering Humour, and to chuse a Situation they like better. Our n.o.blemen and Gentlemen leave us for Pleasure and Amus.e.m.e.nt, and our Poor for Bread and Wages, which we cannot or will not provide them at home; and some run off for mere Safety, as they see our Distresses, and fly from us by the same sort of Instinct that Rats forsake a falling House. Thus a Family where the Master first deserts the Children, and then the Servants follow his Example, can hardly be reduced to a worse Condition than we are, by this epidemical Madness of wandering to _England_. Though the great Gain she makes by their residing there, will never allow her to drive them back to us, yet one wou'd expect the very Contempt and Neglect they meet with there, wou'd make them return to a Country, where they wou'd be so much honour'd, and where they well know they are so much wanted. At the same Time I make no doubt, if the old Statutes, which punish'd all Absentees with the Forfeiture of their Lands here, were to be revived, and they were thereby obliged, to improve the Industry, Arts and Manufactures of our People, _England_ wou'd in Time receive great Advantages by the Change. Mean while they, and all the Earth, see the Destruction they bring on us, by their deserting us in so ungenerous a Manner; and tho' the Cause and the Cure are so evident, it avails us no more, than the Knowledge of his Distemper does the poor Wretch that lies a dying. If they stay'd with us, and help'd us, we shou'd soon recover our natural Strength of Const.i.tution, and become both an industrious and an important People; whereas now, we are almost a Cypher in the active and commercial World, and a mere Appendix to another Nation; while, like ill-coupled Hounds, by drawing different Ways, we sometimes rather disturb than help one another. If I had Hopes to get a Law pa.s.s'd, to burn every Clergyman who does not reside, to hang every Gentleman, and behead every n.o.bleman, who desert their Country for their Amus.e.m.e.nt, I wou'd even be content to return to the World, and sollicit Votes for it; but without taking up the Burden of Life again, I shou'd feel Joy in my Grave, to have their Estates saddled with a constant Tax as a Fine for Absence. How lightly soever Gentlemen regard this Desertion of their native Soil, it is certainly a Crime no good or great Mind can be capable of: And the Officer who quits his Quarters, or the Sailor who forsakes his s.h.i.+p, do not better deserve to be mulk'd in their Pay than they do.

PRIOR. I think it a little odd, Mr. _Dean_, that while we see our Countrymen deserting us so generally, and lament it so loudly, we yet take such Measures as if we thought they did not go away fast enough; and therefore send off our Criminals, to labour, and breed, and enrich _America_. Tho' this wretched Island is the most improvable, and the least improved Part of the habitable Earth, we drive away from us our Felons, though, if we kept them confin'd to hard Labour, the Kingdom wou'd receive all the Profit of their Work, and by this Means a converted Criminal, like a penitent Sinner, wou'd be of more Use, and a better Man, than if he had never transgressed at all.

SWIFT. There may be some ill Consequences in that Method of punis.h.i.+ng Felons, as well as some good ones; for in a Complication of Disorders, such as _Ireland_ labours under, what helps the one is pernicious to the other. It is our peculiar Misery, that the Desertion of some of our People does not hurt us more, than the Sleepiness, the Inactivity and Heedlessness of those that stay behind. Many of our common _Irish_ know as little of the Benefits of useful Labour, as the Savages in the _West Indies_; and are more inclined to live by Theft and Rapine, than by using their Hands and toiling their Bodies. Nay, Crowds of our Gentlemen are as indolent (as we observed on another Occasion) as their Slaves are lazy; and seem as unwilling to improve their Estates, as if they thought their Tenures were as uncertain, and as subject to Change, as ever their Ancestors found them. At present, there are few Kingdoms in _Europe_, where the t.i.tles to them are so indisputably settled as they are in _Ireland_, and yet they improve more in _France_, where all depends on the King's Will, than in _Ireland_, where the Property of the Subject is so impregnably secured by the Laws. Of such Force is the Genius of a Nation in regulating our Manners, and forming our Customs.

I a.s.sure you, dear _Tom_, I could name Crowds of our _Irish_ Gentlemen, that wou'd double their Estates, if they would live on them, and ditch them, and drain them, and build them, and plant them, with half the Skill and Application of a rich sensible Farmer in _England_; nay, I know some of them that are so situated, that they would quadruple their Rents in some Years, if they wou'd build Towns, and set up Manufactures on them with proper Care. There are few of them that have not before their Eyes (if they wou'd open them) Instances of these Things in every County, and yet are no more influenced by it, than if there was no more Encouragement for Arts or Industry, thinking or working, in this Island, than there is in _Borneo_ or _Madagascar_.

PRIOR. There are many Reasons to be a.s.signed, for this great Mistake in the Conduct of some of our _Irish_ Gentlemen, Mr. _Dean_, if we wanted to examine into these Matters; but as to what you was saying, as to their neglecting to live, and plant, and build on their Estates, I have wondered, since we cannot hope to get a Law to force our Absentees home, that we don't make one to oblige all Gentlemen, to build and keep in Repair one Mansion-house on their Lands, of such and such Dimensions, with proper Offices, suitable to their Incomes. If this took in even Freeholders of 20 or 30 _l._ a Year, throughout the Kingdom, it would have a great Effect, and encrease the Number of our Inhabitants, in this deserted Country, as well as the King's Revenue, by many thousand additional Hearths, and comfortable Places of Residence. At the same Time, I cannot see one Objection to so useful a Law, but that n.o.body would get by it but the Public, and that many private Gentlemen and Absentees wou'd be forced to be useful to us and their Families whether they wou'd or no, which wou'd probably be thought a terrible Hards.h.i.+p by some People.

SWIFT. Why, _Tom_, I cannot but say, such a Law wou'd be of great Use in so naked a Country as this, where one wou'd imagine many of us were descended from the Ringleaders in the Building the Tower of _Babel_; and that by their being then punished, for meddling too much in Stone and Morter, we have contracted an Aversion to all Building ever since; but whenever such a Law is to be pa.s.s'd, I could wish they wou'd add another to it, that wou'd not only build our Country, but plant it surprisingly too.

PRIOR. And pray what Law is it? For I am ready, like some good Patriots (who get others to think for them) to vote for it, right or wrong; nay, before I know what it is, since so good a Friend proposes it.

SWIFT. Why, my Act of Parliament is enough to frighten all good Protestants, and is to impower every Landlord, notwithstanding Settlements, to set Leases for ever, of ten or twenty Acres, even to Papists, at the full reserved Rent, who wou'd build good Houses of Stone and Lime, of such and such Dimensions, and inclose and plant an Orchard and Garden of at least one Acre, and keep them in Repair, on pain of voiding the Tenure. This wou'd, in a few Years, increase the Number of our Houses and Orchards prodigiously; and the more as our Natives are very fond of having Lands and Tenements in their own Country, and are willing to give this Pledge of their Allegiance, which so many of them, for Want of such Ties, sit too loose in. I am sensible what an Outcry, many honest Gentlemen wou'd make to this Law; but I am sure it wou'd improve our Country to an high Degree; nor do I see what shou'd hinder us to allow Papists to purchase Lands, (and especially the old forfeited Lands) to a limited Value, and without allowing them a Vote, provided they built and inclosed them in proportion to the Estate: But who can bear to throw away their Thoughts on a Nation, that mind their own Dreams and Habits of Thinking more than the Reasonings of others; who cannot be prevailed on to set up new Manufactures, at the Instances and Exhortations of a Lord Lieutenant, nay, not at the Advice, and, shall I add, even the Entreaties of that ill.u.s.trious Patriot and Friend to _Ireland_, my Lord _Ch----d_.

PRIOR. You mean the making Paper here, which that n.o.bleman, with a Zeal equal to his Understanding, honoured me with so many Letters about; and took so much Pains, with many useful Friends of our Country, to get effectually established in _Ireland_.

SWIFT. I do; and I want to vent my Spleen, in abusing my Countrymen, for the inconsiderable Progress which has been made in so excellent a Design. Certainly, though we have made some Advances that Way, if we had carried them on with the least Share of that n.o.bleman's Spirit, we shou'd have brought it to much greater Perfection than we have done.

Even with what little Care and Encouragement we have bestowed on it, if we continue to cultivate it, we may expect in some Years to improve it so far, as to be able to export large Quant.i.ties, and see it swell and increase, in proportion to the great Material for it, our Linen. But, as if we were afraid too many Arts wou'd enrich us too fast, or take up more Hands than we cou'd spare; we have given this useful Undertaking so little a.s.sistance, that it has by no means made the Advances we cou'd have expected from it; and we have just left it, like a lovely exotic Flower, to live or die at the Mercy of an unfavourable Season, and a wintry Climate. This puts our Giddiness, in overlooking every offered Advantage, and our Supineness as to all Attempts to improve our Circ.u.mstances, in a very indifferent Light; we wear better Linen, and more of it, than most of our neighbouring Kingdoms, (our Numbers and Poverty fairly considered) nay, and we wear them to Rags too, and yet we will not save those Rags for the Paper-mill; nor will we, when they are turned into Paper, buy it, while we can purchase better and dearer from _France_ and _Holland_. In short, we are a People, _Tom_, miserable amidst a Crowd of Opportunities to be happy, for Want of a little Activity and Management, a little Sobriety and Care; and one of the most alleviating Circ.u.mstances of my Death was, my being delivered from the Torment, of endeavouring to serve _Ireland_ to no Purpose.

PRIOR. Indeed, Mr. _Dean_, I cannot but allow there is too much Truth in many of your Attacks and Abuses of our unfortunate Countrymen; and yet I am tempted to return to my old Reveries, and to think, notwithstanding all their Disadvantages, if I had lived ten Years longer in _Ireland_, I shou'd have been able to have made vast Alterations among them for the better.

SWIFT. No, _Tom_, not if you had lived longer than _Methuselah_.

Consider, Man, tho' there are Remedies for the Sick, and Helps for the Dying, there are none for the Dead; and in that Light, I have been used to consider _Ireland_ of a long Time. But prithee, _Tom_, let me know the whole of your Scheme; What wou'd you have done?

PRIOR. Why, if you will hear me calmly, Mr. _Dean_, I will give you a fair Account of what I wou'd have attempted at least, and to open all my Heart to you, that was one of the main Subjects I called at your Tomb to talk to you on, to see if we could get any of these Crawlers on the Earth to attempt it, by oar artfully suggesting it to him. In short, my Project was, by procuring greater and more numerous Subscriptions, and by extending and enlarging the Plan of the _Dublin_ Society, to have promoted more than ever the general Good of the Kingdom.

SWIFT. You might as well Talk to most People, of the general Good of _j.a.pan_. I have told you already they have no Notions of such Things: Their Thoughts, their Taste, their Pa.s.sions have another Turn. Did you expect to get more from those, who think too much is given already?

Why, Man, do you forget the Pains, the Application, the Time, and the Expence, it cost an old Gentleman of our Acquaintance, to procure the first Subscriptions? Recollect also, that after such plain, visible, good Effects were seen by the whole Kingdom, what Numbers of those, who seemed to subscribe with Zeal, withdrew their Subscriptions; and then consider what Success you could have of obtaining larger and more numerous Contributions.

PRIOR. I am but too sensible, there would be some Difficulty in it, Mr.

_Dean_; but, cold and dead as most Men are, to all great and generous Attempts to serve us, I know by Experience, that there are yet left in _Ireland_ a few chosen Spirits, who wou'd have concurr'd in such a Design, and who had Hearts and Fortunes suited to the Task, and almost equal to the Burthen. But happen what would, I am sure, I should have got some reasonable additional Subsidies; and though possibly they would have been too small to answer my Purpose; yet, still, I should at least, have pav'd the Way for some happier Man who would have come after me; and I should have the Comfort to think, that my too eager Zeal to serve others, and disserve myself, could not give great Offence; especially, as Men are not likely to meet Impertinences of this Kind, every Day. This I am confident of, that the Use and Advantage which that Society, (blessed be G.o.d) has been of to _Ireland_, will secure a large advent.i.tious Fund to her hereafter; and tho' by the Arts of evil Men, it may be damped, or dropped for some Years, there never will be wanting, worthy Spirits in the rising Generation, who will remember how happily, that Society was set up and supported, by a few active Gentlemen; and, that it may be restored again, and an adequate Fund provided for it, by the same Resolution and Zeal. But, after all, Mr. _Dean_, I make little Question (if I had lived, to apply for larger Subscriptions) I should not have been disappointed; and, if I had succeeded, _Ireland_ should have had Cause to remember my good Fortune.

SWIFT. Alas! _Tom_, your Hopes were over-heated, I fear; though there are many Squanderers, there are few Givers in _Ireland_ and even among those few, the greater Part instead of giving their Benefactions while they live, and can see them well applied; are laid in their Graves, before their Donations are of use to the Living; for People only bestow their Substance to others, as they do their old Cloathes to their Servants, when they can use them no longer. This, makes me fear, _Tom_, you would have got in few Contributions, among our own Countrymen.

Alas! _Tom_, we seem to keep our Repentance for the Time past, and our Charity for the Future; but the poor present Time, is sacrificed to the meanest Avarice, the falsest Pleasures, or, the lowest Ambition; without any Care of the general Welfare of our Country, or one social Wish for the Happiness of our People.

PRIOR. I allow all this would hold true, if the great and admirable Effects of the Society's Praemiums, did not make it highly probable, that I should have prevailed with several of our worthiest Countrymen, to have a.s.sisted so great and so successful an Undertaking. When Men see they have it in their Power, if they will join together, to deliver their Country from all its calamitous Distresses; and to be themselves the Sources of infinite Blessings to Millions yet unborn, their Hands rebell against their Hearts, and even Misers learn to be bounteous. I am not ignorant, how much Men are under the Influence of their lowest and poorest Pa.s.sions, yet still I am of Opinion, as Stingy as they generally are, if they evidently saw, where they could do much Good by their Benefactions, we should have more of them in the World than we have.

SWIFT. I doubt, _Tom_, you mistake that Matter egregiously, for nine Tenths of our Donations, I fear, proceed more from our Vanity than our Virtue. Numbers give, as our great Master tells us, to be seen of Men; and for that Reason, probably, it is, that there are so few secret Corbans offered up to Heaven, and not to the World; and if this be so, 'tis plain, that People give more for the Ostentation of having given, than the good they hope to get done by it, and therefore you must have met with few generous Subscribers.