Light And Sirens Part 2

"Hey, where are you going tonight? You're taking a shower? Got a date?" she smirked as she asked her questions.

"Um, not really, I just thought I'd take a quick shower since I won't have time to stop at home." I avoided all mention of a movie as that could lead to questions about which movie. Everyone knew that I didn't go for subt.i.tled movies and I didn't want her to suspect anything. I mean, this was her sister I was thinking about dating. She seemed cool about her sister being a lesbian, but I still wasn't sure what side of the fence Pauli was on. I also would understand if she weren't thrilled about me dating her sister, not that this was a date, since she hadn't seen me in a relations.h.i.+p and she might think I was just trying to score with her sister. As if I would wreck a friends.h.i.+p, possibly two, for a piece of a.s.s.

I knew I could go to a bar and pick someone up for a quick physiological release of s.e.xual tension. I'd partaken a few times since Karen had left me, but I found it empty and unsatisfying. I knew I wasn't going to find a life mate in a bar, so why bother with the pretense? But I digress...

Pauli just looked at me, then shrugged her shoulder and told me to have fun. I almost ran into the shower and dove into my clothes when I was done. I grabbed my gear and headed for my truck before anyone could ask me to hang out. I was on a mission!

By the time I got to Caity's house, I had convinced myself that tonight was the night to be bold and let her know I was interested in more than friends.h.i.+p. That is, it was the night if I didn't chicken out or make a complete fool of myself first. I took a deep breath and went to the door, which opened before I got to it. Caity stood in the doorway looking gorgeous in black slacks and a dark blue b.u.t.ton down s.h.i.+rt worn open over a white tank top. d.a.m.n! I could feel the heat rising in me as I stared at her. For some reason my mouth went dry and it took me a minute to speak. Caity gave me a smile and motioned me inside.

I finally managed a h.e.l.lo as I stepped inside, being careful not to brush against her as I entered. She said she was almost ready so I went to the kitchen to get a gla.s.s of water while I waited. I didn't have a long wait; as soon as she slipped on her shoes, she was ready. Caity told me we had about two hours before the movie which fit my plans for dinner perfectly.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going or am I supposed to guess?" asked Caity. She looked over at me her hazel eyes curious but I thought that there was a glimmer of something else there, and then it vanished.

I decided I must have been seeing a reflection of light. I shook it off and answered her. "You get to find out when we get there, but I promise you'll like it." I knew she would too; her favorite Hibachi style place was about a ten-minute walk from the movie theater we would be going to later so it made it a perfect choice. We had plenty of time to enjoy the show the chef's put on as they cooked the food on the tabletop grill in front of us.

We talked about daily life stuff as I drove and found parking. I purposely parked closer to the movie than the restaurant. That way it was easier later but also, she wouldn't know where we were going right away. I love surprising people and I hoped she would reward me with that heart-stopping smile again. As we walked, she kept b.u.mping into me with her arm but I didn't mind the contact at all. She grinned delightedly when she realized where we were going for dinner.

"Donny, you are so awesome! You really are being accommodating today, aren't you? A film with subt.i.tles and my favorite restaurant? You're so sweet, thank you." She reached over and gave me a quick hug. I almost fainted from the jolt I felt as we touched. That was something new. I had felt jolts before, but this was like a lightening strike. She seemed to pause a moment and I wondered if she felt it too, but when she pulled away her face was composed.

"Let's go in and get seated. We have plenty of time before the movie starts and I'm hungry." I was trying to behave normally but for some reason I was feeling sparks flying. I didn't know how to handle it, I was too afraid to get hurt again. The pain would be immense if Caity rejected me, and I wouldn't be able to talk about it with my friends at work since her sister was in the same station as me.

"Donny, what are you thinking of having? Everything looks great. Do you want to share a sus.h.i.+ appetizer with me?" A larger group was seated with us to complete the eight-person table. I had my menu in front of me but I was too busy thinking to make up my mind.

"Sure, whatever you want is fine with me. I think I'll just have the steak and chicken combo. I can never make up my mind so I'll get both." I refocused on the woman sitting next to me and risked a look into her hazel eyes. They danced with light and humor as she watched me.

"Why don't we get the sampler sus.h.i.+ appetizer. It has two pieces each of three different rolls. That way we don't have to decide on just one kind. I think I'll have the steak and chicken too and keep choices to a minimum tonight."

She has always understood that as a medic I have to make hundreds of decisions a day that can affect the life and safety of my crew, my patients, and myself. Outside of work, I try to give myself a break and just let things happen. Caity has said that she doesn't have the same problem since they follow a cue card system at dispatch, but I think they still have a lot on their hands every s.h.i.+ft.

After our drinks arrived and we placed our orders, I started to feel awkward. I think I was seeing this as a date but it was supposed to be two friends going out to dinner and a movie. What the h.e.l.l was I thinking? How did I allow myself to get trapped in this quasi-date h.e.l.l? These were the questions running through my mind when Caity surprised the h.e.l.l out of me.

I felt a warm hand reach over and grip mine lightly in my lap. I looked up at her with shock and more than a little fear. Caity looked a little surprised at herself but she didn't flinch as I looked at her.

She just smiled at me shyly and said softly, "I've been trying to get your attention for a while now. I finally decided I had to be bold since you weren't getting the hint." She paused, then took a deep breath. "I like you, Chloe, as more than just a friend. I think you like me too. Am I right?" She gave me a shy smile and waited for me to say something.

I was dumbfounded! Caitlyn Connor was holding my hand and announced that she liked me! I just sat there like an idiot trying to get the words to form and I stuttered like a rookie at their first real fire scene.

"You, I mean, I... oh, what I'm trying to say is-" I couldn't make the words form properly. d.a.m.n it, Donny, get your head out of your a.s.s! I finally managed a coherent sentence, as her hazel eyes grew dark with concern. "I'm so glad, Caity, I was too scared to tell you, but I've liked you for so long now." It finally burst forth in a rush, much like the first blast from a hose before the nozzle has been adjusted properly.

A look of relief came over her face and she tightened her hand around mine briefly. I sat there grinning like a fool and not really knowing what to do next since we were at a table with six strangers in a crowded restaurant. I could hardly grasp the knowledge that we were holding hands or that Caity actually had feelings beyond friends.h.i.+p for me and yet here we were.

Just then, our appetizer arrived and we focused on the food, releasing our hands way too soon for my liking, however, there was the promise of more to come.

Dinner flew past in a blur of showmans.h.i.+p by the chef and hurried eating before I grabbed the check and we left. Once outside I felt awkward again, even more afraid to hold her hand now that I knew she wanted me to do so. I just stood there not knowing what to do and apparently, I looked as awkward as I felt because Caity moved closer to me. She guided me to one side of the doorway. She looked at me with eyes that I wanted to lose myself in, yet was almost afraid to meet for some reason.

"Donny, it's okay, I know I kind of sprang it on you. I took a chance that you felt the same way because you agreed to the movie tonight. When you chose one of my favorite restaurants for dinner, I felt as if you were trying to tell me something and I was hoping this was it." She paused, looking nervous suddenly. "You said you felt the same way when I told you but now you're nervous. How can I help? Should we skip the movie and go to my place to talk about things?"

I had no idea what to do or how to react. My mind was frozen in shock but at the same time a million things spun out of control in my head. What was she looking for? Was this meant to be a friends with benefits thing or did she want a real long-term relations.h.i.+p? How do I move past this lump of ice in my gut telling me to run away so I can't get hurt again? All of that went through my mind quickly before I gathered myself again. I took in a deep breath and calmed my mind before finally opening my mouth to answer her.

"I promised you a movie to read tonight and I meant it, but I do think we should talk. Can I give you a rain check on the movie? I promise to come see it with you later this week or next week if you want before it closes."

I really did want to talk to her not just ditch the movie. The way I see things, and always have, is that you have to try to take on some of the interests of the person you are with or you have nothing to share and you aren't growing. So, while I don't understand the appeal of those movies, I figured it was worth it to spend the time with Caity.

Caity smiled gently and took my hand in hers. "I appreciate your willingness to go with me, but I really think a private talk is more in order tonight. If you feel more comfortable, we can go to your place."

"No, it's fine, we can go to your place. Thanks, Caity." I smiled gratefully and started walking with her towards the truck. It was a quiet drive back to her place. I had some background music on, and we both pretended to listen to it as we drove. We held hands the whole way, sending tingling sparks up my arm and straight to the nervous flutter building in my stomach.

We settled on her couch with hot tea and theoretically were ready to talk. I say theoretically as neither one of us made a move to actually say anything, and we both sat like prim schoolgirls on the edge of the couch, holding our tea. I nervously set my mug down on her coffee table and turned towards her. My heart pounded as I reached out for her hand, which she willingly gave me after putting down her own mug. We turned to face each other and finally made eye contact. Her hazel eyes looked into my green ones and we connected. I felt it and I knew she felt it too. Not knowing how else to proceed I decided to just start talking. I can do this, I reasoned, this is one of my closest friends. There is no reason I can't talk to her now!

"Caity, I'm not sure what to do about this. I've liked you for a long time now but you know my history with Karen. I've been too afraid to tell you because with you, I would get serious and I'm not sure I can handle anyone else breaking my heart."

I paused to gather my thoughts and took a sip of my tea before I continued. She must have sensed I wasn't done as she seemed to be waiting for me to go on.

"I'm scared of this, Caity, I don't want to lose you as a friend, I don't want this to affect things with your sister at work, or between the two of you. I don't want to get hurt again and I don't want to hurt you if I can't be what you want or need."

"Donny, instead of telling me what you don't want, why don't you tell me what you do want? You might be surprised by it but I am willing to bet that we want a lot of the same things. In fact, I know you and I know that we do. Let me prove it to you, all right?"

I hesitated for a few seconds before I answered her. I was petrified as I realized that this woman could totally destroy me if I let her any further inside of me. I also recognized that my life would be so very empty without letting her in to try. "Sure, prove away."

"We both want a long term relations.h.i.+p with a woman who can be our best friend and lover for life. We both want to continue in jobs that allow us to help others in times of urgent need. We both want stable and happy homes where friends and family are welcomed in with no questions asked. How am I doing so far?"

I looked for any signs in her face that this was a cosmic joke but found none. Of course, I wanted those things, didn't everyone? I said as much to her and waited for her response.

"Yeah, most people want those things, but you and I share more than just that stuff. We both dream of camping all over the country, we both love dogs, cooking, and being cozy for a quiet night at home. We also both enjoy going out with a group and being rowdy, kicking back and having fun. And right now I want, more than anything else, to kiss you like you've never been kissed before."

She leaned over and gently kissed my lips, slowly sliding her tongue over my lips before going inside to tangle with my tongue. Her hands moved so that one was tangled in my hair and the other held me closely around my waist. All I could feel was warmth and electricity coursing through my system as we continued to kiss. When we finally broke contact Caitlyn looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes. "Any more complaints or reasons why we shouldn't try to find happiness together?"

I moaned and leaned in again for another kiss. We made out slowly starting to move our hands over each other's clothing, exploring territory that I had never believed could be mine. When Caity started to move her hands under my s.h.i.+rt, I stopped her and sat up.

"Wait, Caity, I can't do this," I said. "It's moving too fast for me. I thought we were going out as friends tonight and found out that you want to date me." I looked over at her carefully, "You do want to date right? Not just sleep together? 'Cause I'm so not into friends with benefits." Fear grabbed a hold of my heart for a moment as I waited for her to answer.

"Of course not! I mean, yes, I want to date you, not just sleep with you! C'mon, you know me better than that. I've never been a player. And we can wait as long as you need to wait before we sleep together, it isn't what I'm after." She chuckled and flashed a grin at me. "Well, not all that I'm after at least."

I relaxed a bit and moved my body so that I was leaning against her on the couch with her right arm around me and I held her left hand with my left hand. I felt her relax against me and couldn't help but notice how exactly right this felt. We fit so well together. We were almost the same height. She claimed to be an inch taller but I think she was counting her boots. I couldn't help but let myself believe that this could be a possibility. We might actually fit together for real. Of course, being me, I had to ask another question.

"What about your sister, what are we gonna tell her? I mean, I have to work with her so I can't deny it, besides she's bound to find out sooner or later." I was aware that dating one of our own's family members was almost as risky as dating one of our own.

"Don't worry about her, I'll tell her the next time I talk to her. I think she's going to be fine once she thinks it over. At first she might be p.i.s.sed off though."

c.r.a.p! Just what I didn't need, to have one of our medics upset with me. "How mad at me will she be? Any idea?"

"She's not going to be mad at you, Donny. She's going to be p.i.s.sed as h.e.l.l at me! She's been warning me off you for months, and I go off and do what I wanted to do after all. I know some of it is that she looks up to you, but she had a major crush on you when she started at the firehouse, and she's bound to have some of that pop up and cause a little jealousy."

Now my head was spinning way too quickly. A crush on me? Pauli had a crush on me? d.a.m.n, looked like there was more going on than I thought, and I wasn't sure what to do about it.

"I didn't realize she's a lesbian, Caity, or that she had a crush on me. What should I do about it?"

Caity shook her head and held me a little tighter for a second. "No, she's not a lesbian, she's bis.e.xual. She's had boyfriends and girlfriends since she started dating. She's simply attracted to the person and not the gender. I think if I talk to her, she'll be fine once that initial flare up pa.s.ses. When do you work with her next?"

I reviewed the roster in my head., "Tomorrow and then not for about a week. How am I going to work all s.h.i.+ft with her tomorrow? d.a.m.n, this is going to be difficult, isn't it?"

Caity gave me her best smile, leaned over and kissed the top of my head. "Yeah, but I think it's going to be worth it in the end."

CHAPTER 3.

I'M SURE YOU'RE wondering how it went working with Pauli that day. Truth is we were so busy we didn't have much time to talk anyway so it worked out. When she did find out a few days later, she showed up at my house to talk to me. That was when the real fun started for me.

She pulled up outside my house while I was outside cutting the gra.s.s. I'd just finished and was putting away the mower, but I was moving kind of slow since I'd been thinking about Caitlyn. Pauli got out of her truck, a big black Ford Explorer, and came over to me as I wiped my hands off with a towel and closed the garage.

"What's going on, Pauli, did we have plans or something?" I knew we didn't and I knew why she must be there, but I didn't want to come out and ask if she had a problem with me and her sister.

"I think you know why I'm here, Donny. I spoke to my sister last night. I took the night to think things over before deciding to talk to you about it. Do you have some time now?"

Well, that was surprising! She was still talking to me in that same polite manner that she always used. She wasn't steamed or screaming at me. I was grateful, as I didn't want a scene in my driveway on my day off. I waved her inside, kicking off my gra.s.s-covered sneakers in the doorway, and slipping off my socks as well. As I padded towards the kitchen, Pauli followed me and sat down at the table. I grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the fridge, tossed her one, washed my face and hands at the sink before grabbing a clean dishtowel to dry off.

Finally, I sat down, ready to deal with Pauli's visit. "Okay Pauli, I knew your sister was going to talk to you so I'm sort of ready for this, but please try and go easy on me. The whole idea is almost as new to me as it is to you." I took a swig from my water bottle and nervously played with the label as I waited for her to say something.

Pauli leaned forward so that her elbows were on the table, her spiky blond hair drooping a little as she locked her hazel eyes on me. Her eyes were so like her sister's and yet so vastly different. Where Caity's were clear and open to be read, Pauli's were darker and it felt like there was a door slammed shut when I looked into them.

In a level tone of voice she said, "Donny, I've suspected for a while that you had a thing for my sister but I didn't think anything would happen. You of all people preach about the code of not sleeping with members of the family. She's a dispatcher and she's my sister. Either way that's like sleeping with a cousin or something. What's gotten into you?" She leaned back, still staring me down, daring me to answer her.

"You're right, I know you're right. I don't know if anything would have come of my feelings if your sister hadn't made the first move."

Her jaw clenched, I could see the muscle in her jaw contract. I took a deep breath and counted as I exhaled to relax a bit.

"I've liked her for a while, but I was too afraid to do anything about it. The truth is, we aren't sleeping together, we're just starting to date. I'm scared, Pauli, more afraid than I've ever been about anything. I don't want to mess things up. You know how I always say don't sleep with members of the family unless you think it could be really serious?"

She nodded but didn't relax.

"I think this is serious, Pauli, that's why I've been too afraid to do anything about it. I had a rocky break-up not long before you joined the station, and I didn't take it too well. I decided not to get involved again because I didn't want that kind of pain in my life."

It was my turn to lean forward and lean on the table. I looked her dead in the eye and continued; "I think your sister could be it for me, for life. We're good friends with an attraction to each other. I hope it doesn't bother you that we're dating, but I can promise you two things. One, I will always do my best to take care of her and never hurt her. Two, whether or not you approve, she's worth fighting for, and I will keep seeing her." Then I sat back and sucked down some more water, waiting for the dam of Pauli's emotions to burst forth.

Instead, she remained calm, still leaning back in her chair as she looked me over as if a.s.sessing a trauma scene. "I'm going to keep an eye on you, Donny. I believe you and I trust you, but she's my sister, you know? I had to come over and ask. I had to see for myself how you really felt. We're good, but don't you dare hurt her, got it?"

I nodded and stood up when she did. I followed her to the door and waited there as she left. Once she was gone, I leaned against the wall with a sigh of relief. I couldn't believe that Pauli had actually come over to ask my intentions!

Pus.h.i.+ng off from the wall, I went upstairs to take a shower before heading over to Caity's house. We were planning to cook on the grill, and she said she had a surprise for me. Surprises have always made me nervous, and she knew it. I think that had something to do with her pleasure in it, the making me nervous part. As if I wasn't already nervous enough. Ah well, what else could I do but go find out my fate?

I arrived a few minutes early and went around back to the patio where the grill was located. Caity's eyes lit up when she saw me coming. I wasn't used to seeing that, but I was sure my own did the same. I had a bag in my hand and she frowned at it but came over to give me a quick kiss and hug.

"What's that, Chloe? I thought I told you not to bring anything?" She had started using my given name more often the past week or so. She said that Donny was a good name for a friend, but she didn't want to spend her life calling out Donny's name when there was a perfectly good name not getting used. I had choked on my drink when she said that part about the spending her life calling me anything, and the conversation quickly changed course. Honestly, I never had anything against my first name, the Donny bit was something started at the fire academy, and it stuck.

"I know, but I couldn't resist. It's just a little something for tonight. You can have it now or it can wait until dinner. Your choice entirely." She raised an eyebrow at me, a trick I had never mastered, before shaking her head in amus.e.m.e.nt.

"You are just too much sometimes. So, what is it?"

"Nothing much. Just a bottle of my homemade salad dressing. I know you like it, and I had some time to make a batch today."

"You are so sweet, Chloe Donovan! Thank you. You know how much I love your dressing. Even better, we're having salad tonight."

She motioned to me to leave the bag on the patio table and I joined her as she went in the house to get the food ready for the grill.

I was impressed by the amount of preparation that had already been done. We both love to cook so I usually help with the basic chopping and cleaning. It looked like everything was already done.

"What's going on? You don't trust my knife skills anymore? Have I ever minced when you asked for chopped?"

She grinned and came over for another hug. "Of course not. I just wanted to be able to spend more time hanging out than cooking tonight. I thought we could talk about how things are going and about Pauli's reaction to my announcement." She gave me another squeeze before releasing me and leaning against the counter.

I chuckled then laughed outright. "Oh, you mean the reaction that involved her coming over to my house this afternoon, unannounced, to see what my intentions are towards you?"

I watched her eyes get as large as saucers before she slouched and hung her head down.

"She really did that to you? Oh, Chloe, I'm so sorry. I told her not to confront you. What happened? Are you two okay?"

I walked over to her and leaned against the counter next to her before putting an arm around her waist. I waited patiently for her to look up into my eyes so that I could see her as I spoke to her.

"Everything is fine. She came in and we spoke about it. Mostly she just wanted to make sure I was in this for real, not to play with your heart. She wasn't around when Karen left so she doesn't know that I'm not a player. She's protective of you and that's something I totally respect."

"Are you sure? I mean, it isn't going to mess with you two working together will it?" She didn't look convinced that things were fine.

"I promise you, we're fine and working together will not be a problem unless I break your heart. Since I have no intentions of doing that, we're fine."

I gave her my best grin and pulled her against me. She leaned into me and we just enjoyed the embrace for a few minutes. She felt so good in my arms that I never wanted to let her go, but I had to or we wouldn't ever get out of the kitchen. "Weren't we supposed to get the food on the grill? Let's do that and then we can spend the rest of the evening relaxing."

She stayed against me for another minute and then moved off to start getting food together. It was still a little weird for me, cuddling with Caity. I mean, yeah it was the stuff I'd dreamed about for months, but it still seemed strange to go from hardly touching her to kissing and hugging, never mind anything else! Yeah, it felt awesome and frankly, I spent even more time turned on around her than ever before, but at the same time, it was almost surreal. I planned to ask her if she felt the same way, but hadn't figured out how to bring it up yet.

After dinner we were sitting outside on a swinging bench seat she had on the patio just relaxing and talking. Her head was in my lap and her legs drawn up so she could lie down and use me as a pillow. I played absently with her hair and thought about the unexpected nature of things. Everything was so new and I was still too afraid to trust that my heart would be safe. I guess she sensed something because she looked up at me.

"Do you need to talk? I know that quiet, brooding thing you do. I'd like to help if I can."