Kung Fu Nuns Part 2
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"You named the price! One million dollars! A boy-child is worth that," said Uncle Ma, on the long shot that Old Boss would give him the money, all in cash, to fetch a doctor. It would be the perfect opportunity for him to disappear and free himself of the family forever.
The Old Boss thought for a long time and then started to t.i.tter childishly. Throwing his arm around Uncle Ma's shoulder, he embraced him and said, "I love you like son, Nephew Ma! Now you acting like real piece-of-s.h.i.+t Kee. You want to steal and steal big. From the Old Boss himself. I give you the money and you never come back. Man-child. All I would get would be a cast iron Joy Stick stuck in my rear garden door. You just strangle Elder Niece Kee and her no-b.a.l.l.s son. Get million dollars that way. Forget America. You're Kee. America no place for Kee." He shouted towards the door, "Waaaiiter."
A terrified waiter stumbled into the room. The Old Boss shouted, "Boy! You bring best food and best suck girls. Clean suck girls! Not with gwai lo come juice still in their mouths."
Later, when the Thai girl kneeling before him had already unzipped his trousers, busily applying her well-trained young tongue to his Golden Orbs, and he had tasted the delicious meal prepared especially for them, Uncle Ma sighed to himself, resigned to enjoy the moment despite his misery. He looked down at the lovely, young, clean-shaven woman. Her hairless p.u.s.s.y looked good enough to eat. There was nothing that Uncle Ma appreciated more than a woman applying an educated tongue to his Joy Stick. He flew his wife up to Hong Kong to take special lessons from Madame Moist and Hot Mouth. Unfortunately, the distinct possibility that he might have to drown Elder Niece Kee in a bucket of pigs.h.i.+t kept him from getting an erection.
Trying to conjure a fantasy that would enable his rod to spring to life, he created an image of the most beautiful woman in the world. His Joy Stick quickly took notice, and the persona of the fantasy he had created came into focus. He was inserted so far into Beautiful Birthday Present's throat that her tonsils added extra simulation. Uncle Ma manipulated the piece of pork in his mouth as if it was the gwai lo slave's own c.l.i.toris.
His moment of total delight was destroyed by the Old Boss screeching, "This girl suck no good!" The naked young woman perched beneath him pouted and wondered what she had done wrong. Ma fully expected the Old Boss to immediately dispatch her as she still held his limp, crooked c.o.c.k in her mouth. The old man had killed for much more trivial reasons than a bad b.l.o.w.j.o.b, but Kee Djung Pau just shoved her side and said, "You double lick my nephew over there. He don't know difference good or bad tongue job."
The bemused girl crawled under the table to join her co-worker between Uncle Ma's thighs. Ma thought, "The old man couldn't get it up. The miraculous rising of the Joy Stick is only temporary. A last gasp. Poor Beautiful Birthday Present; if she were a little less naive she might be aware of the power she holds in that hot mouth of hers."
The Old Boss sputtered, "I married man. My wife much better. This pigs.h.i.+t!"
As both girls took turns alternating between engulfing his Joy Stick and double licking it on both sides, Uncle Ma continued dining. Then suddenly, he was eating more p.u.s.s.y than pork, because the double whammy of women offered the nephew of Old Boss quite a treat. While one woman knelt between his legs, drew his d.i.c.k deep into her mouth and sucked him, the woman who'd been rejected by the older man was quick to maneuver herself onto the younger man's lap, wrap her legs around his neck and pull herself upward, until her Mystic Place found his mouth. Her c.u.n.t was like a smooth, pink pleasure palace and, although he was sure it had been f.u.c.ked more times than he could count, it smelled sweet and floral, as if she had douched with flowers just moments before. As he poked his tongue at the sweet p.u.s.s.y meat, he could taste a dab of musk. This turned him on so much that he dove his tongue into the awaiting c.u.n.t and literally ate it out, jabbing her c.u.n.t with his tongue and gnawing at the opening as if it were a delicious dining experience.
Feeling inspired by the fervent s.e.xuality in the room, Uncle Ma playfully spooned out a heaping of his Moo Shu Pork and shoveled some into the girl's p.u.s.s.y. Then he dutifully dove back in with tongue and teeth until he had devoured the food. He shoveled in some more, this time rubbing it around with his finger so as to season it with c.u.n.t juice. Again he attacked the girl's Mystic Place like she was lunch--and he ate the rest of his meal that way, until he could stuff himself no more.
Meanwhile, under the table, the other girl worked his c.o.c.k with skill, rubbing the swollen head, ma.s.saging the Golden Orbs, jerking the rod up and down, until she drew from him his first come. She swallowed it all and continued with the b.l.o.w.j.o.b on Uncle Ma's still-hard d.i.c.k.
The woman he had been feasting on soon turned around, knelt on the table, and backed her ripe a.s.shole onto his mouth, offering Uncle Ma the next course of s.e.x food. As the younger Kee gobbled at her a.n.a.l opening in s.e.xual hunger, his c.o.c.k, down below, received a simultaneous excitement that was bringing him quite close to exploding. It did not take long for his c.o.c.k to erupt. After this, spent, he rested his face against the girl's bottom cheeks until the two women offered the next course--they girl-f.u.c.ked each other, right on the lunch table. It was a sight that even Kee Djung Pau got off on watching; he didn't get hard, but he sure felt h.o.r.n.y.
The girl who'd been beneath the table got out from under and lay down on top, while the other, taking the cue, immediately got between her legs, spread apart the other's thighs and then spread the lips wide open so she could eat her a.s.sociate's Mystic Place. The girl who was getting it was moaning loud and began playing with her tiny nipple buds, and the other one was wriggling her a.s.s as her tongue dove deep into the squirming p.u.s.s.y before her. The seductress, feeling the heat in her own c.u.n.t, finally swung her own hips over the woman beneath her and plastered her Mystic Place onto awaiting lips. The two girls sucked each other's c.l.i.ts and licked each other's Mystic Places until they both exploded.
Uncle Ma's rod shot up like a rocket, and he insisted the two girls double-suck him and send him on his way. They both knelt near his spread legs and attacked his groin, sharing the first suck on his c.o.c.k and playfully fighting over it until one would grab it and put it in her mouth and suck. Then, with skill that proved they had completed this task before, one girl took possession of the Golden Orbs while the other sucked on the Joy Stick, until the simultaneous excitement made Uncle Ma's c.o.c.k explode yet again. The two women then took turns licking up the splattered dew.
It was surely the finest meal Uncle Ma had enjoyed in his life. His Golden Orbs discharged three times before the meal was over, and his belly was full from good food. He and his uncle, Old Boss, got their fortune cookies and check, and placed ten dollars, U.S. bills, inside the wet c.u.n.ts of the two attending suck girls before leaving. Since Old Boss didn't get a b.l.o.w.j.o.b, he insisted the women hold his Joy Stick over the urinal so he could pee--with a little hands-on a.s.sistance--before leaving noodle and suck shop.
The Old Boss hurried home in the bodyguards' car without collecting Beautiful Birthday Present. Concerned with his bad performance in the noodle shop, he threw himself on his kw.a.n.g and tried to induce his Joy Stick to rise by itself. The task was hopeless. He waited, his shriveled member totally exposed, for the return of his bride. Eugenia, who had seemed to withdraw into a state of total noncommunication with the rest of the Kee family, suddenly became effusive when the Mercedes pulled into the rather modern shopping mall. Elder Niece Kee a.s.sumed that when Old Boss said "Buy anything you want," the "anything" meant things that would please him personally. She fully intended to first visit her own dressmaker to have cla.s.sical-style Chinese silk dresses hand-tailored for the mongrel.
In his youth, Old Boss conducted business dressed in glossy, patent leather shoes, white suit, navy blue s.h.i.+rt, white on white tie, and a flip-brimmed Panama hat. This was his outdated view of what an American gangster looked like, distilled through the view he got from a French pimp he knew in Saigon, and the pimp's exposure to one-too-many George Raft movies. But as he aged, he did as most Chinese men did--revert to the cla.s.sical. He started a wispy beard, dressed in gowns, and even made an attempt to obtain some of the knowledge of the Mandarins. All he could really get through were paperbound abstracts of the more popular fables, but only if Uncle Ma helped him with the difficult characters which he never remembered the next time he came across them.
Elder Niece Kee, thinking about the outrageous price the dressmaker would charge for the new garments, and the even more outrageous kickback she would demand in return, forgot completely about Eugenia the moment the Mercedes came to a halt. The young girl leaped out of the car, and it was a moment before the older woman realized that her charge was gone. She froze in terror because her first thought was that Eugenia had fled. All the little slave had to do was approach a Vietnamese policeman or anyone of the shopkeepers and tell them of her plight. The mall wasn't Kee territory. Even the policeman would turn her over to the Black Family that ran it. Having possession of the new "Old Lady Kee" would give them much face. They could turn her into the French consul for a reward and smirk as the government was forced to take action against the Old Boss for kidnapping and rape; the matter would be beyond bribery. Or, even more distressing, they could, possibly, demand an outrageous ransom for the girl which the Old Boss would probably pay. They could also sell Beautiful Birthday Present into the lowest of brothels, one that catered to merchant seamen from poverty-stricken countries, just to embarra.s.s the Kee clan. In any case, there would be another get-together, and the cousins would demand Elder Niece Kee's death. A death as slow and as painful as only a Kee could imagine. Her mind ran away with her as she envisioned the worst.
She screamed hysterically at the driver and the bodyguard in the front seat. They turned back toward her, their smiles broadening, and pointed to a rather trendy boutique across from the dressmaker. Elder Niece Kee leaped out of the vehicle and ran into the shop. As she entered the door, she screamed out "Beautiful Birthday Present." There was no reply.
She then turned and screamed for the bodyguards, sure that the little s.l.u.t had had the presence of mind to disappear through the back door of the shop. The Vietnamese woman that ran the shop, obviously half French, tried to calm her down. Elder Niece Kee sputtered, "My niece! My niece!"
The proprietress said softly, "Calm down, madame!" and pointed to a dressing alcove. When Elder Niece Kee thrust aside the curtain, she discovered Eugenia hurriedly slipping into a miniskirt she had grabbed off the rack. The little mongrel slave had decided that if she was going to be an eighty-two-year-old man's wh.o.r.e, she might as well be compensated for it.
Elder Niece Kee shouted, "Not those kind of clothes. He doesn't like those kind of clothes!"
Eugenia spat in true Kee style and said in the perfect Kee intonation which the Elder Niece had never bothered to master, "Back off! He said I could buy anything I wanted." She then slid the curtain closed in the older woman's face.
Elder Niece Kee spat, "You little wh.o.r.e-slave! You're going to get whipped!"
Suddenly, a fantasy took hold of Elder Niece Kee, who, like many of the Aunties, was a closet lesbian. She imagined herself forcing the young, new primary wife of the Old Boss into the dressing room, stripping her out of her panties, and spanking her behind. She could feel her flesh warm to the touch of the sweet, soft rump of this young girl, her new archrival, as she softly began to spank and swat her a.s.s, working her way into a more exciting frenzy of a.s.s-whipping. This would be proper discipline for Eugenia, who Elder Niece Kee fantasized, would then be made to lick out her captor's Mystic Place with a tongue motion that was just the way she liked it.
The older woman was lost in the dream, imagining herself spreading wide her legs and then holding open her slightly wrinkled and aged Mystic Place so that the younger woman could lick up and down along the inner lips. Then Eugenia would press her tongue against the opening and press inward until finally the older woman felt herself being fully f.u.c.ked by the young woman's tongue. Elder Niece Kee would slowly begin to rub her own love bud, bringing herself toward o.r.g.a.s.mic frenzy as Eugenia lapped away at her hole. Then, as she felt herself about to come, she would force the young girl to catch the juice with her mouth and suck her clean.
Then the older woman would once again spank Eugenia, but this time, with a finely carved hairbrush which, after leaving small pink marks on the vulnerable skin, could be used to f.u.c.k Eugenia's a.s.shole nice and slow. Elder Niece Kee felt her p.u.s.s.y juice well up as she envisioned her own hands spreading open the slightly bruised a.s.s cheeks, exposing the pink puckered orifice. She would then attack the tight place with the smooth black hairbrush until the handle was pressed way up into the r.e.c.t.u.m, making Eugenia cry out. Elder Niece Kee was fully wet from her fantasy when she was suddenly snapped back into reality.
The older of the Kee bodyguards placed his hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Behave!" Elder Niece Kee could not figure whether the bodyguard was reading her mind and picking up her s.e.xually deviant thoughts, or if he meant her outburst just moments ago, so she decided not to try rocking the boat.
The bodyguard then added, "I heard what the boss said: 'Anything!'" and led her to a chair. He knew enough of the events transpiring in the household to a.s.sure him that Old Boss wouldn't be particularly upset if he slit her throat at that moment. The only thing that actually stopped him was that they were in another Black Family's territory.
The Eurasian woman that ran the shop asked Elder Niece Kee if she wanted a cup of tea. She nodded her head and as she waited for it tried to decide if she should make the best of a bad situation by asking for a kickback. She tried to think of a way to do it without alerting the bodyguards because they would demand a share of it if they realized what she was up to.
When Eugenia emerged from the alcove, she was clad in high-heeled pumps, a micro-mini skirt, and a net blouse, all Mary Quant rip-offs--a somewhat trashy version of the French schoolgirl she had been a few months before. The bodyguards smiled appreciatively. Elder Niece Kee screeched, "That no good!"
Eugenia ignored her and examined herself in the mirror. Elder Niece Kee was unable to keep her mouth shut and screeched again, "Take that off and let's go proper shop!"
"Hey!" said one of the bodyguards. "She the Old Boss's wife. She senior lady of the family! Don't raise your voice to her. She do what she want!" There was a smirk in his tone of voice.
Elder Niece Kee was going to slap the young man when the ludicrousness of the situation hit full home. The young mongrel slave was, in effect, the senior lady of the clan and thus had almost as much power as the Old Boss himself. She decided not to risk the wrath of the bodyguards and remained mute from then on, standing idly by as the young girl purchased one of everything in her size.
Beautiful Birthday Present skipped happily ahead of the bodyguards, who had to make two trips to deposit everything in the car. Elder Niece Kee whispered to the lady shopkeeper, "She very rich girl. I'm poor servant. How about some tea money?"
"Merde!" replied the woman. "I'm not going to get held up twice. I just gave her twenty percent of the total bill."
The shopkeeper was just being helpful. When Eugenia rushed into the store, she shouted quickly in French, "I'll buy everything in the place. Mark it up fifty percent and give me twenty." Beautiful Birthday Present, still innocent in the ways of the world, had heard enough talk in the Kee household of "squeeze" or "tea money" that she decided to acc.u.mulate a bit of her own. Not to use for an escape as another woman might, but to give to her father to help extract him from the horrible situation he was in. A situation so gross that it did not allow him to retrieve her from the s.e.xual servitude she was thrust into.
When the Mercedes returned to the Kee compound, it was so filled with packages that Eugenia had to sit on Elder Niece Kee's lap, and the second bodyguard had to follow in a taxi. They parked opposite the veranda facing the Old Boss's bedroom, and Eugenia hopped out of the car. She supervised the unloading of her purchases, as she was well aware that a Kee would steal from another Kee before stealing from a stranger. When then the young bodyguards were out of earshot, Elder Niece Kee whispered into her ear, "You get twenty percent. That supposed to be for me!"
Eugenia pressed a ten piaster note in her hand and without a word entered the house to make sure that none of the packages were "lost" before being deposited in the Old Boss's sitting room. Elder Niece Kee found herself muttering, "I should poison her tonight, but it not fit in with my plans. She make good wife for my son, Chuk Foo Kee. Put some juice in his Monkey's Apples."
The Old Boss hadn't moved. He was still face up on the kw.a.n.g distressed by the fact that his Joy Stick seemed totally useless again. When Beautiful Birthday Present entered the room, he thought she was an apparition sent to escort him to the first h.e.l.l he would have to reside in on his trip to heaven. She was wearing a velvet micro-mini skirt over panty hose, high-heeled florescent pumps, and an off-the-shoulder batik blouse. Adding the ghostly effect was the fact that Eugenia insisted on stopping into Madame Thu's Beauty Salon to have her hair frizzed and streaked.
Kee Djung Pau thought, "Whatever it is, it isn't going to do my Joy Stick any good!" Eugenia, determined to show her appreciation for the hours of freedom, and realizing that perfection in some arts led to rewards, hurriedly doffed her skirt and blouse, revealing that her firm, young b.r.e.a.s.t.s were in no need of a bra. In one motion she was across the room and kneeling before the Old Boss, her cheek gracing his inert rod. He was in such a state that he was about to say, "It's no use," when a bit of saliva escaped from her truly anxious lips and trickled down onto the tip of his c.o.c.k. It felt both moist and dry, hot and cold; it was fire and ice. Before the Old Boss could utter a word, the miracle happened again. His Joy Stick sprang to life. Eugenia quickly sucked the entire length into her mouth. A tear formed in his eyes and he said something he had never ever said to a woman before, "I love you!"
Hearing that, Eugenia sucked even more vigorously, but it was not the term of endearment that spurred her on--it was the thought of another shopping trip. Old Boss, his confidence totally gone, eased her mouth off the famed crooked shaft and indicated that she should present herself to him on the bed so that he might enter her normally. At that moment in time, he was more aware than anyone that his supply of hard-ons was definitely finite. There was nothing he desired more than making a man-child with Beautiful Birthday Present. When he was fully inserted in her Mystic Place, he felt that he had pa.s.sed through the grandest heaven of all. Eugenia, who had become attuned to the feeling of an inserted Joy Stick, and actually looked forward to it as it was an opiate that removed her from stark reality, started to move her hips vigorously to emulate what the Aunties had taught her. The Old Boss begged her to slow down so that the throes of pleasure he was in would not be cut short by the early disgorging of his Golden Orbs. He knew that his current erection could still be his last. Eugenia adjusted her movement to his feeble and ill-timed pokes, until, strangely, he withdrew and stood.
Eugenia, whose next shopping trip had moved, in her mind, from the mall to either Paris or New York, wasn't going to let the old man's Joy Stick out of her control for one second. She lunged after it with dripping mouth, only to have him to turn away from her, presenting his b.u.t.tocks. Her tongue caressed the closest object, which turned out to be his withered cheeks. As she licked and kissed, he cupped his left hand before the tip of his crooked rod and manipulated it with his right, extremely pleased that he could still do so.
Eugenia spread the aged cheeks apart and exposed his backdoor entrance. With two thumbs, she pressed on either side to open the ancient hole. Her warm, wet, youthful tongue invaded the secret place between his cheeks and dove deep into the old man's bowels. She tongue-f.u.c.ked her elderly mate with mastery, oddly enjoying the experience while also imagining a good tongue job would lead toward more good deeds bestowed upon her.
Once his a.s.shole was greased with spittle, she reached into her drawer for her ivory d.i.l.d.o and began to tease his puckered part with the tip, slowly sliding it inward, deeper and deeper, until Old Boss was actually filled with the big, fake Joy Stick. Meanwhile, he rubbed his hand up and down his own d.i.c.k, enjoying the fullness in his behind while jacking himself off.
His hand expertly rubbed around the uncirc.u.mcised head, while Eugenia plowed his a.s.s cheeks with the ivory love toy, plunging in so deep that her old husband would sometimes cringe away. Most of the time, though, he was pressing his a.n.u.s onto the object excitedly, while jerking the come out of his own Joy Stick.
Beautiful Birthday Present helped get him off when she bent her mouth to his b.a.l.l.s and sucked them, all the while continuing to f.u.c.k him with the d.i.l.d.o. This made him beat his meat more furiously until, finally, his o.r.g.a.s.m exploded, rising from his Golden Orbs and disgorging through his Joy Stick. He caught the juice in his hand and held a couple of spoonful's worth in his palm.
Then, completely unmindful of Beautiful Birthday Present, he went over the window, where the failing light was better, to study his own emission as if he could count the spermatozoa one by one. Having no idea of the potency of the fluid as he had never before in his life paid any attention to it, a puzzled frown appeared on his forehead. He turned back to Beautiful Birthday Present and asked, "Good?"
Eugenia leaped forward, clasped his gnarled hands, and extended her tongue into his cupped palms to lap up the contents greedily, licking his fingers clean after she was done. She then shouted in the Kee dialect, "Good!"
The Old Boss was so pleased by the gesture that he did a hop, skip, and a jump, and sang out happily, "Good! Good!" Eugenia aped his actions in mockery. They skipped about the room like two insane children until Kee Djung Pau looked down and caught sight of his Joy Stick. A second, most miraculous erection had appeared. He shouted with glee and told Eugenia, "Look! Look!"
No stranger to the stiff but strangely crooked shaft, she fell down on her knees before him to confront it directly. "No! No!" said the Old Boss, again indicating the kw.a.n.g. Eugenia immediately lay down on it in a receptive position, opening her legs to fully expose her Mystic Place. But much to her surprise, instead of entering her, he drove his head between her legs and began to lick both her Mystic Place and her a.n.u.s roughly as he drooled copious amounts of saliva on the bedclothes.
He flicked his tongue at the opening of her Mystic Place, then moved his tongue toward her secret backdoor gate, poking at each open hole alternately. Finally, he began a sweeping motion of p.u.s.s.y to a.s.s, a.s.s to p.u.s.s.y, until Eugenia's lower parts were awash in his spittle, and began to tingle from his back and forth motion.
Next, he plunged his tongue deeply into her a.s.shole, then pulled out quickly and plunged it just as deeply into her Mystic Place. He was panting and near exhaustion as he continued this process.
What drove Kee Djung Pau on was the remembrance of an old paperback book that he had read of ancient Chinese folk remedies. It mentioned a technique called b.u.t.terfly-Tongue-at-Front-and-Rear-Gates which a particular group of Zen monks had taught a thousand years before; it was said to be especially potent for insuring the creation of a man-child. As he hadn't the slightest idea how it should be performed, or whether there was a specific technique, he just continued on with rough abandonment until it was dark outside. Eugenia eventually got bored with the whole thing, and her lower parts were beginning to feel waterlogged. She realized that she had been so caught up with shopping that she missed lunch, and it was already well past dinner time. Finally, when she was actually flooded with his spittle both front and rear, Old Boss stood, his Joy Stick still alert, and said, "We wait! Build up big load of babies in Golden Orbs first!"
He then rose, and again in a childish manner, half-skipped and half-danced to a chest by the door. Dropping to his knees, he did another thing he had never done before in his life: In front of another living person, he manipulated the hidden b.u.t.tons on the floor tiles that unlocked the entrance to a small crypt which held his money chest. Beautiful Birthday Present, who could think about nothing but food, paid no attention to his actions, until he emerged from the crypt carrying a small, heavy teak box. He brought it back to the bed where he opened it to reveal that it was full of small gold ingots, each of some five ounces. He motioned to Eugenia to spread wide again and in the place where he would normally insert his Joy Stick, he inserted one bar after another. She was still so youthfully tight that she could only receive three. Kee Djung Pau then turned her over and managed to get only one slim bar in her other place. With the look of a disappointed child he sat morosely and then extended the remaining ingot to Eugenia. As the only other thing that was ever presented to her in the house was Kee Djung Pau's crooked staff, she treated the ingot in the same way and began to suck it. The Old Boss cackled with glee and then added another ingot to the one in his hand. He kept on doing so until she could barely stretch her lips over the stack. They were so far down her throat that even Kee Djung Pau thought she might choke. Withdrawing them slightly so one would not go amiss, lodge in her windpipe, and do that just that, he yawned and then slid onto the bed next to her to sleep, confident that he had been blessed with more than just a few more miraculous erections.
Eugenia, her every entrance plugged with almost one hundred percent pure gold, had no idea what to do next. She was extremely hungry and uncomfortable, as there was a continuous battle between her sphincter muscle and the ingot in her a.n.u.s. After what seemed to be an hour, she rose quietly, so as not awaken the Old Boss, carefully removed the fortune he had inserted in her, and went to the toilet. When she returned to the bedroom, she discovered that Kee Djung Pau's eyes had opened, and he was watching her with adoration. Knowing that the gold bars were of great value, she washed them carefully, dried them with a towel, and brought them back to the bed where she held them out her captor.
He smiled and said sleepily, "No! Yours! I give!"
Eugenia shrugged and placed them on a table within reach. The Old Boss rose unsteadily, yawned, and then said, "No good! Must hide! This Kee household. Kee family a bunch of thieves!"
He put on a robe and a pair of slippers, and led her by the hand into the sitting room where he showed her a small, hidden niche in the wall. He then moved the rug to uncover the two tiles that, when pressed at the exact same time, opened it. Pointing to all the packages and shopping bags that she had brought from the mall, he said "You buy?"
Eugenia nodded. The Old Boss commanded, "Show your husband!"
"Please! I'm hungry."
"I go get food. You dress up Western lady!" said Kee Djung Pau, just before he stepped out onto the veranda and went off in the direction of the servants' quarters. He walked with the energy of a young man, the slip-slop, clip-clop of his slippers echoing up and down the deserted compound. Eugenia made use of the opportunity to return to the bedroom and remove four more of the thin gold bars from the inlaid teak box on the kw.a.n.g. The Old Boss hadn't been counting precisely and, above all, she was now a Kee and ent.i.tled to steal. She added them to her h.o.a.rd in the wall niche.
The kitchen boy had finished with his scrubbing and was dozing in a chair next to the stove. Kee Djung Pau kicked him awake and shouted, "Get cook. Make dinner for wife. Special good dinner! Maybe she heavy with man-child!"
When he returned to his apartment, Eugenia, Beautiful Birthday Present, had donned a pair of floral applique pedal pushers, a short peasant blouse, sandals, and a large, locally made straw hat. Kee Djung Pau stood in the door watching her with admiration, his hand occasionally falling to his crotch to make sure that the miracle was still with him. "Good! Good!" he said, hungrily licking his lips.
Aping what she had seen on television, Eugenia gave him a bit of a fas.h.i.+on show, pretending to be a runway model for one of the famed houses of haute couture. The old man cackled, "Wait! Wait!" and went off into the bedroom to the huge old wardrobe against one wall. Spittle flying from his lips, he searched through the stacks of neatly arranged attire until he found the Western garments that he hadn't worn in years.
When he returned to his bride, he was clad in his old white-silk suit, which was now about three sizes too large for him, his Panama hat, and a blue s.h.i.+rt that strangely enough bore the same blatant yellow flowers that garnished Eugenia's pedal pushers. He said happily, "Look! Look!"
Eugenia studied his attire without comment.
"What do you think? Movie star?"
"Movie star! Paul Newman!" was her reply.
When the cook and the kitchen boy pushed the cart loaded with a seven-course meal in Old Boss's bedroom, they were stupefied by the sight that confronted them. Kee Djung Pau shouted, "What you look at? Serve and get your a.s.s out of here!"
As Beautiful Birthday Present ate, Old Boss watched her with extreme admiration. Then, at a loss as to what to do next, he stood and paced as he didn't not want to insert his Joy Stick into her again until his Golden Orbs contained a least a triple load of baby juice. Stopping at one large, unopened, corrugated carton, he pointed to it and asked, "What that!"
"Hi-fi! Sony!"
Eugenia swallowed the morsel of pork in her mouth and then crossed to the box. Old Boss removed a knife from a drawer and slit the packing tape for her, and then helped her remove the contents. He stared for some time before he realized what it was. "Phonograph!" he cackled.
"Tape deck!" replied Beautiful Birthday Present. He still gazed on without a hint a comprehension. She reached into a large shopping bag and removed a handful of ca.s.settes. "Tape deck!"
He finally said, "Ah, ah, tape deck! Music!"
"Lousy system. One piece!"
"Who sell you lousy system?" sneered the Old Boss. "I kill who sell it to you."
"The only one in the province. Forty-five watts. You have to go to Saigon to get something decent."
Indicating the ca.s.settes in her hand, he asked, "Chinese opera?"
"No!" said Beautiful Birthday Present. "Rock and Roll."
"Rock and Roll?"
"The Rolling Stones!"
Uncle Ma was sleeping soundly. The suck girls in the noodle shop had done an admirable job, and he found himself aroused enough again to attend to his wife who knew, without being told, that he had been down to visit the tea house. It was she who awakened him. A strange, ba.s.s sound was reverberating up and down the veranda from the Old Boss's quarters, and the first thing he could think of was a Chinese funeral band. He yawned, "Who died?"
"It's awful!" she said. "I can't sleep!"
Donning a robe and slippers, he groggily made his way towards the source of the sound to discover a couple of the younger Kee bodyguards on the veranda peering into the Old Boss's sitting room window. He asked, "What's up?"
"Rock and Roll. The Rolling Stones!"
"That what?"
"The Stones. She teaching Old Boss to boogie."
Uncle Ma peered through the rattan blinds to be greeted by the sight of Kee Djung Pau, dressed in his ancient silk suit, contorting to something that resembled a Western, rock 'n roll dance. Muttering, "The Kee clan finally enters the twentieth century" he said sternly to the boys. "If you're supposed to be guarding the main gate, get back there! If the Hop Sings know this is going on they'll slit all our throats before dawn."
When Uncle Ma returned to his apartment, his wife snapped, "I told you to shut them up. It's only the guards playing Western music."
"It isn't the guards, it's the Old Boss. Beautiful Birthday Present is teaching him to dance."
"Dance?"
"Boogie or something!"
Rising, Mrs. Ma said, "This I've got to see."
Before dawn showed its head over the horizon, almost everyone in the household had gathered on the veranda to watch the Old Boss do what he thought was the twist.
A gnarled hand awoke Uncle Ma at ten A.M. sharp, and he looked up into the face of Kee Djung Pau who snapped, "How many watts you got?"
"How many what's what?" asked Uncle Ma, still half asleep.
"Watts!" screeched the old man. "Watts!"
Uncle Ma looked up at his granduncle, totally confused. "Watts!" screeched the old man again, yanking on his arm. Uncle Ma rose groggily and followed him into the sitting room. Old Boss pointed at his old radiophonograph and shouted, "Watts!"
Kung Fu Nuns Part 2
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Kung Fu Nuns Part 2 summary
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- Related chapter:
- Kung Fu Nuns Part 1
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