Orcs First Blood - Legion Of Thunder Part 10

'As I said, I've nothing to give.'

'You're a teller of tales, tell us one. If we like it, you get to join your horse and drink.'

'And if you don't?'

Lekmann shrugged.

'Well, stories are my currency. Why not?'

'Suppose you'll give us something meant to frighten idiots,' Aulay grumbled. 'Like some tale sung by fairies about trolls eating babies, or the doings of the fearsome Sluagh. You word weavers are all the same.'

'No, that's not what I had in mind.'

'What then?'

'You mentioned the Unis earlier. Thought I might give you one of their little fables.'

'Oh, no, not some religious trash.'

'Yes and no. Want to hear it or not?'

'Go ahead,' Lekmann sighed. 'I hope you're not too thirsty, though.'

'Like most people you probably think of the Unis as narrow-minded, unbending fanatics.'

'Sure as h.e.l.l we do.'

'And you'd be right about most of them. They do have a woeful number of zealots in their ranks. But not every one of them is like that. A few can bend a bit. Even see the funny side of their creed.'

'That I find hard to believe.'

'It's true. They're just plain folk, like you and me, apart from the hold their faith has on them. And it comes out in stories they sometimestell. Stories they're careful to tell in secret, mind. These stories pa.s.s around and some of them come to me.'

'You gonna get on with it?''Do you know what the Unis believe? Roughly, I mean?'

'Some.'

'Then maybe you know that their holy books say their lone G.o.d started the human race by creating one man, Ademnius, and one woman, Evelaine.'

Aulay sneered suggestively. 'One wouldn't be enough for me.'

'We know this stuff,' said Lekmann impatiently. 'We ain't igno-rant.'

Serapheim ignored them. 'The Unis believe that in those first days G.o.d spoke directly to Ademnius, to explain what He was doing and what His hopes were for the life He'd made. So one day G.o.d came to Ademnius and said, "I have two pieces of good news and one piece of bad news for you. Which would you like to hear first?"

"I'll have the good news first, please, Lord," Ademnius replied.

"Well," G.o.d told him, "the first piece of good news is that I've created a wonderful organ for you called the brain. It will enable you to learn and reason and do all sorts of clever things."

"Thank you, Lord," said Ademnius.

"The second piece of good news," G.o.d told him, "is that I've created another organ for you called the p.e.n.i.s." '

The bounty hunters smirked. Aulay nudged Blaan's well-padded ribs with his elbow.

' "This will give you pleasure, and give Evelaine pleasure," ' Ser-apheim continued, ' "and it will let you make children to live in this glorious world I've fas.h.i.+oned for you."

"That sounds wonderful," Ademnius said. "And what's the bad news?"

"You can't use them both at the same time," G.o.d replied.'

There was a moment's silence while the payoff soaked in, then the bounty hunters roared with crude laughter. Though Coilla thought it quite possible that Blaan didn't get it.

'Not so much a story as a short jest, I grant you,' Serapheim said. 'But I'm glad it met with your approval.'

'It was all right,' Lekmann agreed. 'And kind of true, I guess.'

'Of course, as I said, it is customary to offer a coin or some other small token of appreciation.'

The trio sobered instantly.

Lekmann's face contorted with anger. 'Now you've gone and spoilt it.'

'We was thinking more in terms ofyou payingus, ' Aulay said.

'As I told you, I have nothing.'

Blaan grinned nastily. 'You'll have less than that when we've done with you.'

Aulay did some stocktaking. 'You got a horse, a fine pair of boots, that fancy cloak. Maybe a purse, despite what you say.'

' 'Sides, you know too much about our business,' Lekmann finished.

Notwithstanding the menacing atmosphere, Coilla was convinced that the storyteller wasn't fazed. Though it must have been as obvious to him as it was to her that these men were capable of murder just for the h.e.l.l of it.

Her attention was drawn by something moving on the plain. For a moment, hope kindled. But then she identified what she was looking at and realised it wasn't deliverance. Far from it.

Serapheim hadn't noticed. Neither had the bounty hunters. They were set on enacting a violent scene. Lekmann had his sword raised and was moving in on the storyteller. The other two were following his lead.

'We've got company,' she said.

They stopped, looked at her, followed her gaze.

A large group of riders had come into sight, well ahead of them. They were moving slowly from east to south-west, on a course that would bring them close, if not actually to the stream.

Aulay cupped a hand to his forehead. 'What are they, Micah?'

'Humans. Dressed in black, far as I can see. Know what I reckon? They're those Hobrow's men. Them . . . whatever they call themselves.'

'Custodians.'

'Right, right. f.u.c.k this, we're out of here. Get the orc, Greever. Jabeez, the horses.'

Blaan didn't move. He stood open-mouthed, staring at the riders. 'You reckon they ain't got no sense of humour, Micah?'

'No, I don't! Get the horses!'

'Hey! The stranger.'

Serapheim was riding away, due west.

'Forget him. We got more pressing business.'

'Good thing we didn't do for him, Micah,' Blaan opined. 'It's bad luck to kill crazy people.'

'Superst.i.tiousdolt! Move your f.u.c.king self!'

They bundled Coilla on to her horse and took off at speed.

9.

'Look at it!'Jennesta shrieked. 'Look at the scale ofyour failure!'

Mersadion stared at the parchment wall map and trembled. It was littered with markers: red for the queen's forces, blue for the Uni op-position. They were roughly equal in number. That wasn't good enough.

'We've suffered nolosses as such,' he offered timorously.

'If we had I would have fed you your own liver by now! Where are thegains?'

'The war is complex, ma'am. We're fighting on so many fronts-''I need no lectures on our situation, General! What I want is re-sults!'

'I can a.s.sure-'

'This is bad enough,' she sailed on, 'but it's as nothing compared to the lack of progress in finding that wretched warband! Do you have news of them?'

'Well, I-'

'You do not. Have we heard from Lekmann's bounty hunters?'

'They-'

'No, you haven't.'

Mersadion didn't dare remind her that bringing in the human bounty hunters had been her idea. He had quickly learned that Jennesta took credit for victories but saddled others with the blame for defeats.

'I had hopes of you doing better than Kysthan, yourlate predeces-sor,' she added pointedly. 'I trust you're not going to disappoint me.'

'Majesty-'

'Be warned that as of now your performance is under even closer scrutiny.'

'I-'.

This time he was interrupted by a light rap at the door.

'Enter!' Jennesta commanded.

One of her elf servants came in and bowed. The androgynous crea-ture had a build so delicate its limbs looked fit to snap. Its complexion was almost translucent, and the fragility of its face was emphasised by golden hair and lashes.

The eyes were fairest blue, the nose winsome.

The elf pouted and lisped, 'Your Mistress of Dragons, my lady.'

'Another incompetent,' Jennesta seethed. 'Send her in.'

As a brownie, the hybrid progeny of a goblin and elf union, the dragon dam bore some resemblance to the servant. But she was more robust, and tall even by the norm of her lanky race. In keeping with tradition, she was dressed entirely in the reddish-brown colours of an autumnal woodland. Her only concessions to adornment were narrow gold bands at her wrists and neck.

She acknowledged Jennesta's superior station with the tiniest bow of her head.

As usual in her dealings with underlings, the queen squandered no breath on niceties. 'I confess to being less than happy with your efforts of late, Glozellan,' she informed her.

'Ma'am?' There was a piping quality to the brownie's voice, and a calm remoteness characteristic of her kind. Jennesta had been known to find it irritating.

'In the matter of the Wolverines,' she emphasised with menacing deliberateness.

'My handlers have followed your orders to the letter, Majesty,' Glozellan replied, an expression of self-esteem on her face that many would have equated with haughtiness. It was another trait of her proud race, and even more infuriating to the queen.

'But you have not found them,' she said.

'Your pardon, ma'am, but we did engage with the band on the battlefield near Weaver's Lea,' the dragon mistress reminded her.

'And let them escape! Hardly an engagement! Unless you think merely spotting the renegades counts as such.'

'No, Majesty. In fact they were pursued and narrowly avoided our attack.'

'There's a difference?'

'The uncertain nature of dragons means they are always unpredict-able to some extent, ma'am.'

'A bad artisan always blames her tools.'

'Iaccept responsibility for my actions and those of my subordi-nates.'