The Complete Novels Of George Orwell Part 47
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He felt dreadfully thirsty already. It had been a mistake to let himself think of beer. As he approached the Crichton, he heard voices singing. The great garish pub seemed to be more brightly lighted than usual. There was a concert of something going on inside. Twenty ripe male voices were chanting in unison: 'Foor zee's zee's a jorrigoo' fellow, a jorrigoo' fellow, For ree's ree's a jorrigoo' fellow, a jorrigoo' fellow, For ree's ree's a jorrigoo' feELL-ow a jorrigoo' feELL-ow And toori oori us!'
At least, that was what it sounded like. Gordon drew nearer, pierced by a ravis.h.i.+ng thirst. The voices were so soggy, so infinitely beery. When you heard them you saw the scarlet faces of prosperous plumbers. There was a private room behind the bar where the Buffaloes held their secret conclaves. Doubtless it was they who were singing. They were giving some kind of commemorative booze to their president, secretary, Grand Herbivore, or whatever he is called. Gordon hesitated outside the Saloon bar. Better to go to the public bar, perhaps. Draught beer in the public, bottled beer in the saloon. He went round to the other side of the pub. The beer-choked voices followed him: 'With a toori oori ay.
An' a toori oori ay!'Foor ree's ree's a jorrigoo' fellow, a jorrigoo' fellow, For ree's ree's a jorrigoo' fellow' a jorrigoo' fellow'
He felt quite faint for a moment. But it was fatigue and hunger as well as thirst. He could picture the cosy room where those Buffaloes were singing; the roaring fire, the big s.h.i.+ny table, the bovine photographs on the wall. Could picture also, as the singing ceased, twenty scarlet faces disappearing into pots of beer. He put his hand into his pocket and made sure that the threepenny-bit was still there. After all, why not? In the public bar, who would comment? Slap the Joey down on the bar and pa.s.s it off as a joke. 'Been saving that up from the Christmas puddingha, ha!' Laughter all round. Already he seemed to have the metallic taste of draught beer on his tongue.
He fingered the tiny disc, irresolute. The Buffaloes had tuned up again: 'With a toori oori ay, An' a toori oori ay!'Foor ree's ree's a jorrigoo' fellow' a jorrigoo' fellow'
Gordon moved back to the saloon bar. The window was frosted, and also steamy from the heat in side. Still, there were c.h.i.n.ks where you could see through. He peeped in. Yes, Flaxman was there.
The saloon bar was crowded. Like all rooms seen from the outside, it looked ineffably cosy. The fire that blazed in the grate danced, mirrored, in the bra.s.s spittoons. Gordon thought he could almost smell the beer through the gla.s.s. Flaxman was propping up the bar with two fish-faced pals who looked like insurance-touts of the better type. One elbow on the bar, his foot on the rail, a beer-streaked gla.s.s in the other hand, he was swapping backchat with the blonde cutie barmaid. She was standing on a chair behind the bar, ranging the bottled beer and talking saucily over her shoulder. You couldn't hear what they were saying, but you could guess. Flaxman let fall some memorable witticism. The fish-faced men bellowed with obscene laughter. And the blonde cutie, t.i.ttering down at him, half shocked and half delighted, wriggled her neat little b.u.m.
Gordon's heart sickened. To be in there, just to be in there! In the warmth and light, with people to talk to, with beer and cigarettes and a girl to flirt with! After all, why not not go in? You could borrow a bob off Flaxman. Flaxman would lend it to you all right. He pictured Flaxman's careless a.s.sent'What ho, chappie! How's life? What? A bob? Sure! Take two. Catch, chappie!'and the florin flicked along the beer-wet bar. Flaxman was a decent sort, in his way. go in? You could borrow a bob off Flaxman. Flaxman would lend it to you all right. He pictured Flaxman's careless a.s.sent'What ho, chappie! How's life? What? A bob? Sure! Take two. Catch, chappie!'and the florin flicked along the beer-wet bar. Flaxman was a decent sort, in his way.
Gordon put his hand against the swing door. He even pushed it open a few inches. The warm fog of smoke and beer slipped through the crack. A familiar, reviving smell; nervertheless as he smelled it his nerve failed him. No! Impossible to go in. He turned away. He couldn't go shoving in that saloon bar with only fourpence halfpenny in his pocket. Never let other people buy your drinks for you! The first commandment of the moneyless. He made off, down the dark pavement.
'For ree's ree's a jorrigoo' feELLow a jorrigoo' feELLow And toori oori us!'With a toori oori ay!
An' a'
The voices, diminis.h.i.+ng with distance, rolled after him, bearing faint tidings of beer. Gordon took the threepenny-bit from his pocket and sent it skimming away into the darkness.
He was going home, if you could call it 'going'. At any rate he was gravitating in that direction. He did not want to go home, but he had got to sit down. His legs ached and his feet were bruised, and that vile bedroom was the sole place in London where he had purchased the right to sit down. He slipped in quietly, but, as usual, not quite so quietly that Mrs Wisbeach failed to hear him. She gave him a brief nosy glance round the corner of her door. It would be a little after nine. She might get him a meal if he asked her. But she would grizzle and make a favour of it, and he would go to bed hungry sooner than face that.
He started up the stairs. He was half way up the first flight when a double knock behind made him jump. The post! Perhaps a letter from Rosemary!
Forced from outside, the letter flap lifted, and with an effort, like a heron regurgitating a flatfish, vomited a bunch of letters on to the mat. Gordon's heart bounded. There were six or seven of them. Surely among all that lot there must be one for himself! Mrs Wisbeach, as usual, had darted from her lair at the sound of the postman's knock. As a matter of fact, in two years Gordon had never once succeeded in getting hold of a letter before Mrs Wisbeach laid hands on it. She gathered the letters jealously to her breast, and then, holding them up one at a time, scanned their addresses. From her manner you could gather that she suspected each one of them of containing a writ, an improper love letter, or an ad for Amen Pills.
'One for you, Mr Comstock,' she said sourly, handing him a letter.
His heart shrank and paused in its beat. A long-shaped envelope. Not from Rosemary, therefore. Ah! It was addressed in his own handwriting. From the editor of a paper, then. He had two poems 'out' at present. One with the Californian Review Californian Review, the other with the Primrose Quarterly Primrose Quarterly. But this wasn't an American stamp. And the Primrose Primrose had had his poem at least six weeks! Good G.o.d, supposing they'd accepted it! had had his poem at least six weeks! Good G.o.d, supposing they'd accepted it!
He had forgotten Rosemary's existence. He said 'Thanks!', stuck the letter in his pocket, and started up the stairs with outward calm, but no sooner was he out of Mrs Wisbeach's sight that he bounded up three steps at a time. He had got to be alone to open that letter. Even before he reached the door he was feeling for his matchbox, but his fingers were trembling so that in lighting the gas he chipped the mantle. He sat down, took the letter from his pocket, and then quailed. For a moment he could not nerve himself to open it. He held it up to the light and felt it to see how thick it was. His poem had been two sheets. Then, calling himself a fool, he ripped the envelope open. Out tumbled his own poem, and with it a neatoh, so neat!little printed slip of imitation parchment: The Editor regrets that he is unable to make use of the enclosed contribution.
The slip was decorated with a design of funereal laurel leaves.
Gordon gazed at the thing with wordless hatred. Perhaps no snub in the world is so deadly as this, because none is so unanswerable. Suddenly he loathed his own poem and was acutely ashamed of it. He felt it the weakest, silliest poem ever written. Without looking at it again he tore it into small bits and flung them into the wastepaper basket. He would put that poem out of his mind for ever. The rejection slip, however, he did not tear up yet. He fingered it, feeling its loathly sleekness. Such an elegant little thing, printed in admirable type. You could tell at a glance that it came from a 'good' magazinea snooty highbrow magazine with the money of a publis.h.i.+ng house behind it. Money, money! Money and culture! It was a stupid thing that he had done. Fancy sending a poem to a paper like the Primrose Primrose! As though they'd accept poems from people like him him. The mere fact that the poem wasn't typed would tell them what kind of person he was. He might as well have dropped a card on Buckingham Palace. He thought of the people who wrote for the Primrose; Primrose; a coterie of moneyed highbrowsthose sleek, refined young animals who suck in money and culture with their mother's milk. The idea of trying to horn in among that pansy crowd! But he cursed them all the same. The sods! The b.l.o.o.d.y sods!'The Editor regrets!' Why be so b.l.o.o.d.y mealy-mouthed about it? Why not say outright, 'We don't want your b.l.o.o.d.y poems. We only take poems from chaps we were at Cambridge with. You proletarians keep your distance' The b.l.o.o.d.y, hypocritical sods! a coterie of moneyed highbrowsthose sleek, refined young animals who suck in money and culture with their mother's milk. The idea of trying to horn in among that pansy crowd! But he cursed them all the same. The sods! The b.l.o.o.d.y sods!'The Editor regrets!' Why be so b.l.o.o.d.y mealy-mouthed about it? Why not say outright, 'We don't want your b.l.o.o.d.y poems. We only take poems from chaps we were at Cambridge with. You proletarians keep your distance' The b.l.o.o.d.y, hypocritical sods!
At last he crumpled up the rejection slip, threw it away, and stood up. Better get to bed while he had the energy to undress. Bed was the only place that was warm. But wait. Wind the clock, set the alarm. He went through the familiar action with a sense of deadly staleness. His eye fell upon the aspidistra. Two years he had inhabited this vile room; two mortal years in which nothing had been accomplished. Seven hundred wasted days, all ending in the lonely bed. Snubs, failures, insults, all of them unavenged. Money, money, all is money! Because he had no money the Dorings' snubbed him, because he had no money the Primrose Primrose had turned down his poem, because he had no money Rosemary wouldn't sleep with him. Social failure, artistic failure, s.e.xual failurethey are all the same. And lack of money is at the bottom of them all. had turned down his poem, because he had no money Rosemary wouldn't sleep with him. Social failure, artistic failure, s.e.xual failurethey are all the same. And lack of money is at the bottom of them all.
He must hit back at somebody or something. He could not go to bed with that rejection slip as the last thing in his mind. He thought of Rosemary. It was five days now since she had written. If there had been a letter from her this evening even that rap over the knuckles from the Primrose Quarterly Primrose Quarterly would have mattered less. She declared that she loved him, and she wouldn't sleep with him, wouldn't even write to him! She was the same as all the others. She despised him and forgot about him because he had no money and therefore didn't matter. He would write her an enormous letter, telling her what it felt like to be ignored and insulted, making her see how cruelly she had treated him. would have mattered less. She declared that she loved him, and she wouldn't sleep with him, wouldn't even write to him! She was the same as all the others. She despised him and forgot about him because he had no money and therefore didn't matter. He would write her an enormous letter, telling her what it felt like to be ignored and insulted, making her see how cruelly she had treated him.
He found a clean sheet of paper and wrote in the top right-hand corner: '31 Willowbed Road, NW, I NW, I December, 9.30 p.m.' December, 9.30 p.m.'
But having written that much, he found that he could write no more. He was in the defeated mood when even the writing of a letter is too great an effort. Besides, what was the use? She would never understand. No woman ever understands. But he must write something. Something to wound herthat was what he most wanted, at this moment. He meditated for a long time, and at last wrote, exactly in the middle of the sheet: You have broken my heart.
No address, no signature. Rather neat it looked, all by itself, there in the middle of the sheet, in his small 'scholarly' handwriting. Almost like a little poem in itself. This thought cheered him up a little.
He stuck the letter in an envelope and went out and posted it at the post office on the corner, spending his last three halfpence on a penny stamp and a halfpenny stamp out of the slot machine.
5.
'We're printing that poem of yours in next month's Antichrist,' Antichrist,' said Ravelston from his first-floor window. said Ravelston from his first-floor window.
Gordon, on the pavement below, affected to have forgotten the poem Ravelston was speaking about; he remembered it intimately, of course, as he remembered all his poems.
'Which poem?' he said.
'The one about the dying prost.i.tute. We thought it was rather successful.'
Gordon laughed a laugh of gratified conceit, and managed to pa.s.s it off as a laugh of sardonic amus.e.m.e.nt.
'Aha! A dying prost.i.tute! That's rather what you might call one of my subjects. I'll do you one about an aspidistra next time.'
Ravelston's over-sensitive, boyish face, framed by nice dark-brown hair, drew back a little from the window.
'It's intolerably cold,' he said. You'd better come up and have some food, or something.'
'No, you come down. I've had dinner. Let's go to a pub and have some beer.'
'All right then. Half a minute while I get my shoes on.'
They had been talking for some minutes, Gordon on the pavement, Ravelston leaning out of the window above. Gordon had announced his arrival not by knocking at the door but by throwing a pebble against the window pane. He never, if he could help it, set foot inside Ravelston's flat. There was something in the atmosphere of the flat that upset him and made him feel mean, dirty, and out of place. It was so overwhelmingly, though unconsciously, upper-cla.s.s. Only in the street or in a pub could he feel himself approximately Ravelston's equal. It would have astonished Ravelston to learn that his four-roomed flat, which he thought of as a poky little place, had this effect upon Gordon. To Ravelston, living in the wilds of Regent's Park was practically the same thing as living in the slums; he had chosen to live there, en bon socialiste en bon socialiste, precisely as your social sn.o.b will live in a mews in Mayfair for the sake of the 'WI' on his notepaper. It was part of a lifelong attempt to escape from his own cla.s.s and become, as it were, an honorary member of the proletariat. Like all such attempts, it was foredoomed to failure. No rich man ever succeeds in disguising himself as a poor man; for money, like murder, will out.
On the street door there was a bra.s.s plate inscribed: P. W. H. RAVELSTON.
ANTICHRIST.
Ravelston lived on the first floor, and the editorial offices of Antichrist Antichrist were downstairs. were downstairs. Antichrist Antichrist was a middle- to high-brow monthly, Socialist in a vehement but ill-defined way. In general, it gave the impression of being edited by an ardent Nonconformist who had transferred his allegiance from G.o.d to Marx, and in doing so had got mixed up with a gang of was a middle- to high-brow monthly, Socialist in a vehement but ill-defined way. In general, it gave the impression of being edited by an ardent Nonconformist who had transferred his allegiance from G.o.d to Marx, and in doing so had got mixed up with a gang of vers libre vers libre poets. This was not really Ravelston's character; merely he was softer-hearted than an editor ought to be, and consequently was at the mercy of his contributors. Practically anything got printed in poets. This was not really Ravelston's character; merely he was softer-hearted than an editor ought to be, and consequently was at the mercy of his contributors. Practically anything got printed in Antichrist Antichrist if Ravelston suspected that its author was starving. if Ravelston suspected that its author was starving.
Ravelston appeared a moment later, hatless and pulling on a pair of gauntlet gloves. You could tell him at a glance for a rich young man. He wore the uniform of the moneyed intelligentsia; an old tweed coat-but it was one of those coats which have been made by a good tailor and grow more aristocratic as they grow older-very loose grey flannel bags, a grey pullover, much-worn brown shoes. He made a point of going everywhere, even to fas.h.i.+onable houses and expensive restaurants, in these clothes, just to show his contempt for upper-cla.s.s conventions; he did not fully realize that it is only the upper cla.s.ses who can do these things. Though he was a year older than Gordon he looked much younger. He was very tall, with a lean, wide-shouldered body and the typical lounging grace of the upper-cla.s.s youth. But there was something curiously apologetic in his movements and in the expression of his face. He seemed always in the act of stepping out of somebody else's way. When expressing an opinion he would rub his nose with the back of his left forefinger. The truth was that in every moment of his life he was apologizing, tacitly, for the largeness of his income. You could make him uncomfortable as easily by reminding him that he was rich as you could make Gordon by reminding him that he was poor.
'You've had dinner, I gather?' said Ravelston, in his rather Bloomsbury voice.
'Yes, ages ago. Haven't you?'
'Oh, yes, certainly. Oh, quite!'
It was twenty past eight and Gordon had had no food since midday. Neither had Ravelston. Gordon did not know that Ravelston was hungry, but Ravelston knew that Gordon was hungry, and Gordon knew that Ravelston knew it. Nevertheless, each saw good reason for pretending not to be hungry. They seldom or never had meals together. Gordon would not let Ravelston buy his meals for him, and for himself he could not afford to go to restaurants, not even to a Lyons or an A.B.C. This was Monday and he had five and ninepence left. He might afford a couple of pints at a pub, but not a proper meal. When he and Ravelston met it was always agreed, with silent manoeuvrings, that they should do nothing that involved spending money, beyond the s.h.i.+lling or so one spends in a pub. In this way the fiction was kept up that there was no serious difference in their incomes.
Gordon sidled closer to Ravelston as they started down the pavement. He would have taken his arm, only of course one can't do that kind of thing. Beside Ravelston's taller, comelier figure he looked frail, fretful, and miserably shabby. He adored Ravelston and was never quite at ease in his presence. Ravelston had not merely a charm of manner, but also a kind of fundamental decency, a graceful att.i.tude to life, which Gordon scarcely encountered elsewhere. Undoubtedly it was bound up with the fact that Ravelston was rich. For money buys all virtues. Money suffereth long and is kind, is not puffed up, doth not behave unseemly, seeketh not her own. But in some ways Ravelston was not even like a moneyed person. The fatty degeneration of the spirit which goes with wealth had missed him, or he had escaped it by a conscious effort. Indeed his whole life was a struggle to escape it. It was for this reason that he gave up his time and a large part of his income to editing an unpopular Socialist monthly. And apart from Antichrist Antichrist, money flowed from him in all directions. A tribe of cadgers ranging from poets to pavement-artists browsed upon him unceasingly. For himself he lived upon eight hundred a year or thereabouts. Even of this income he was acutely ashamed. It was not, he realized, exactly a proletarian income; but he had never learned to get along on less. Eight hundred a year was a minimum living wage to him, as two pounds a week was to Gordon.
'How is your work getting on?' said Ravelston presently.
'Oh, as usual. It's a drowsy kind of job. Swapping back-chat with old hens about Hugh Walpole. I don't object to it.'
'I meant your own work-your writing. Is London Pleasures London Pleasures getting on all right?' getting on all right?'
'Oh, Christ! Don't speak of it. It's turning my hair grey.'
'Isn't it going forward at all?'
'My books don't go forward. They go backward.'
Ravelston sighed. As editor of Antichrist Antichrist, he was used to encouraging despondent poets that it had become a second nature to him. He did not need telling why Gordon 'couldn't'write, and why all poets nowadays 'can't' write, and why when they do write it is something as arid as the rattling of a pea inside a big drum. He said with sympathetic gloom: 'Of course I admit this isn't a hopeful age to write poetry in.'
'You bet it isn't.'
Gordon kicked his heel against the pavement. He wished that London Pleasures London Pleasures had not been mentioned. It brought back to him the memory of his mean, cold bedroom and the grimy papers littered under the aspidistra. He said abruptly: had not been mentioned. It brought back to him the memory of his mean, cold bedroom and the grimy papers littered under the aspidistra. He said abruptly: 'This writing business! What b-s it all is! Sitting in a corner torturing a nerve which won't even respond any longer. And who wants poetry nowadays? Training performing fleas would be more useful by comparison.'
'Still, you oughtn't to let yourself be discouraged. After all, you do produce something, which is more than one can say for a lot of poets nowadays. There was Mice Mice, for instance.'
'Oh, Mice Mice! It makes me spew to think of it.'
He thought with loathing of that sneaky little foolscap octavo. Those forty or fifty drab, dead little poems, each like a little abortion in its labelled jar. 'Exceptional promise', The Times Lit. Supp The Times Lit. Supp. had said. A hundred and fifty-three copies sold and the rest remaindered. He had one of those movements of contempt and even horror which every artist has at times when he thinks of his own work.
'It's dead,' he said. 'Dead as a blasted foetus in a bottle.'
'Oh, well, I suppose that happens to most books. You can't expect an enormous sale for poetry nowadays. There's too much compet.i.tion.'
'I didn't mean that. I meant the poems themselves are dead. There's no life in them. Everything I write is like that. Lifeless, gutless. Not necessarily ugly or vulgar; but dead-just dead.' The word 'dead' re-echoed in his mind, setting up its own train of thought. He added: 'My poems are dead because I'm dead. You're dead. We're all dead. Dead people in a dead world.'
Ravelston murmured agreement, with a curious air of guilt. And now they were off upon their favourite subjectGordon's favourite subject, anyway; the futility, the bloodiness, the deathliness of modern life. They never met without talking for at least half an hour in this vein. But it always made Ravelston feel rather uncomfortable. In a way, of course, he knew-it was precisely this that Antichrist Antichrist existed to point outthat life under a decaying capitalism is deathly and meaningless. But this knowledge was only theoretical. You can't really existed to point outthat life under a decaying capitalism is deathly and meaningless. But this knowledge was only theoretical. You can't really feel feel that kind of thing when your income is eight hundred a year. Most of the time, when he wasn't thinking of coal-miners, Chinese junk-coolies, and the unemployed in Middlesbrough, he felt that life was pretty good fun. Moreover, he had the naive belief that in a little while Socialism is going to put things right. Gordon always seemed to him to exaggerate. So there was subtle disagreement between them, which Ravelston was too good-mannered to press home. that kind of thing when your income is eight hundred a year. Most of the time, when he wasn't thinking of coal-miners, Chinese junk-coolies, and the unemployed in Middlesbrough, he felt that life was pretty good fun. Moreover, he had the naive belief that in a little while Socialism is going to put things right. Gordon always seemed to him to exaggerate. So there was subtle disagreement between them, which Ravelston was too good-mannered to press home.
But with Gordon it was different. Gordon's income was two pounds a week. Therefore the hatred of modern life, the desire to see our money-civilization blown to h.e.l.l by bombs, was a thing he genuinely felt. They were walking southward, down a darkish, meanly decent residential street with a few shuttered shops. From a h.o.a.rding on the blank end of a house the yard-wide face of Corner Table simpered, pallid in the lamplight. Gordon caught a glimpse of a withering aspidistra in a lower window. London! Mile after mile of mean lonely houses, let off in flats and single rooms; not homes, not communities, just cl.u.s.ters of meaningless lives drifting in a sort of drowsy chaos to the grave! He saw men as corpses walking. The thought that he was merely objectifying his own inner misery hardly troubled him. His mind went back to Wednesday afternoon, when he had desired to hear the enemy aeroplanes zooming over London. He caught Ravelston's arm and paused to gesticulate at the Corner Table poster.
'Look at that b.l.o.o.d.y thing up there! Look at it, just look at it! Doesn't it make you spew?'
'It's aesthetically offensive, I grant. But I don't see that it matters very greatly.'
'Of course it matters-having the town plastered with things like that.'
'Oh, well, it's merely a temporary phenomenon. Capitalism in its last phase. I doubt whether it's worth worrying about.'
'But there's more in it than that. Just look at that fellow's face gaping down at us! You can see our whole civilization written there. The imbecility, the emptiness, the desolation! You can't look at it without thinking of French letters and machine guns. Do you know that the other day I was actually wis.h.i.+ng war would break out? I was longing for itpraying for it, almost.'
'Of course, the trouble is, you see, that about half the young men in Europe are wis.h.i.+ng the same thing.'
'Let's hope they are. Then perhaps it'll happen.'
'My dear old chap, no! Once is enough, surely.'
Gordon walked on, fretfully. 'This life we live nowadays! It's not life, it's stagnation, death-in-life. Look at all these b.l.o.o.d.y houses, and the meaningless people inside them! Sometimes I think we're all corpses. Just rotting upright.'
'But where you make your mistake, don't you see, is in talking as if all this was incurable. This is only something that's got to happen before the proletariat take over.'
'Oh, Socialism! Don't talk to me about Socialism.'
'You ought to read Marx, Gordon, you really ought. Then you'd realize that this is only a phase. It can't go on for ever.'
'Can't it? It feels feels as if it was going on for ever.' as if it was going on for ever.'
'It's merely that we're at a bad moment. We've got to die before we can be reborn, if you take my meaning.'
'We're dying right enough. I don't see much signs of our being reborn.'
Ravelston rubbed his nose. 'Oh, well, we must have faith, I suppose. And hope.'
'We must have money you mean,' said Gordon gloomily.
'Money?'
'It's the price of optimism. Give me five quid a week and I'd I'd be a Socialist, I dare say.' be a Socialist, I dare say.'
Ravelston looked away, discomforted. This money-business! Everywhere it came up against you! Gordon wished he had not said it. Money is the one thing you must never mention when you are with people richer than yourself. Or if you do, then it must be money in the abstract, money with a big 'M', not the actual concrete money that's in your pocket and isn't in mine. But the accursed subject drew him like a magnet. Sooner or later, especially when he had a few drinks inside him, he invariably began talking with self-pitiful detail about the bloodiness of life on two quid a week. Sometimes, from sheer nervous impulse to say the wrong thing, he would come out with some squalid confessionas, for instance, that he had been without tobacco for two days, or that his underclothes were in holes and his overcoat up the spout. But nothing of that sort should happen tonight, he resolved. They veered swiftly away from the subject of money and began talking in a more general way about Socialism. Ravelston had been trying for years to convert Gordon to Socialism, without even succeeding in interesting him in it. Presently they pa.s.sed a low-looking pub on a corner in a side-street. A sour cloud of beer seemed to hang about it. The smell revolted Ravelston. He would have quickened his pace to get away from it. But Gordon paused, his nostrils tickled.
'Christ! I could do with a drink,' he said.
'So could I,' said Ravelston gallantly.
Gordon shoved open the door of the public bar, Ravelston following. Ravelston persuaded himself that he was fond of pubs, especially low-cla.s.s pubs. Pubs are genuinely proletarian. In a pub you can meet the working cla.s.s on equal termsor that's the theory, anyway. But in practice Ravelston never went into a pub unless he was with somebody like Gordon, and he always felt like a fish out of water when he got there. A foul yet coldish air enveloped them. It was a filthy, smoky room, low-ceilinged, with a sawdusted floor and plain deal tables ringed by generations of beer-pots. In one corner four monstrous women with b.r.e.a.s.t.s the size of melons were sitting drinking porter and talking with bitter intensity about someone called Mrs Croop. The landlady, a tall grim woman with a black fringe, looking like the madame of a brothel, stood behind the bar, her powerful forearms folded, watching a game of darts which was going on between four labourers and a postman. You had to duck under the darts as you crossed the room, there was a moment's hush and people glanced inquisitively at Ravelston. He was so obviously a gentleman. They didn't see his type very often in the public bar.
Ravelston pretended not to notice that they were staring at him. He lounged towards the bar, pulling off a glove to feel for the money in his pocket. 'What's yours?' he said casually.
But Gordon had already shoved his way ahead and was tapping a s.h.i.+lling on the bar. Always pay for the first round of drinks! It was his point of honour. Ravelston made for the only vacant table. A navvy leaning on the bar turned on his elbow and gave him a long, insolent stare 'A - toff!' he was thinking. Gordon came back balancing two pint gla.s.ses of the dark common ale. They were thick cheap gla.s.ses, thick as jam jars almost, and dim and greasy. A thin yellow froth was subsiding on the beer. The air was thick with gunpowdery tobacco-smoke. Ravelston caught sight of a well-filled spittoon near the bar and averted his eyes. It crossed his mind that this beer had been sucked up from some beetle-ridden cellar through yards of slimy tube, and that the gla.s.ses had never been washed in their lives, only rinsed in beery water. Gordon was very hungry. He could have done with some bread and cheese, but to order any would have been to betray the fact that he had had no dinner. He took a deep pull at his beer and lighted a cigarette, which made him forget his hunger a little. Ravelston also swallowed a mouthful or so and set his gla.s.s gingerly down. It was typical London beer, sickly and yet leaving a chemical after-taste. Ravelston thought of the wines of Burgundy. They went on arguing about Socialism.
'You know, Gordon, it's really time you started reading Marx,' said Ravelston, less apologetically than usual, because the vile taste of the beer had annoyed him.
'I'd sooner read Mrs Humphry Ward,' said Gordon.
'But don't you see, your att.i.tude is so unreasonable. You're always tirading against Capitalism, and yet you won't accept the only possible alternative. One can't put things right in a hole-and-corner way. One's got to accept either Capitalism or Socialism. There's no way out of it.'
'I tell you I can't be bothered with Socialism. The very thought of it makes me yawn.'
'But what's your objection to Socialism, anyway?'
'There's only one objection to Socialism, and that is that n.o.body wants it.'
'Oh, surely it's rather absurd to say that!'
'That's to say, n.o.body who could see what Socialism would really mean.'
The Complete Novels Of George Orwell Part 47
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