Always Sometimes Never: Sometimes Brooke Part 9

I shrug. "I don't generally plan things. Whatever. I don't know."

"Do you want to move your stuff in here?"

I frown. "No. I'm not moving in with you. I have my own room. And I told you it was just a f.u.c.k. Please don't make me sound like a broken record."

He nods, but I can see in his eyes he's not even close to being done with it. Leo is definitely one of the most persistent people on the planet.

"I need to take things one day at a time," I remind him.

"I know."

"Good. I'm going to get a shower."

Leo watches me as I rise from the bed. He looks like a puppy dog, with his wide eyes. "What do you want, Leo?"

"Can I get in the shower with you?"

The idea of taking a shower with Leo is extremely appealing, but I know it's also dangerous territory. I'm giving him what he wants again. And if I keep doing that before long we'll be sharing a room.

But when our eyes meet I can tell I'm not going to win. He looks like a little boy who just skinned his knee and might break down in tears at any moment if he doesn't get his way.

"Fine. But just this once. We're not going to make it a habit."

"I know," he agrees. "Just once. It's no big thing."

He follows me into the bathroom and doesn't take his eyes off of me as I turn on the shower.

As we wait for the water to heat he gently runs a finger along the length of my spine. It sends a wave of pure pleasure through me. How is it that Leo knows exactly what to do to get me extremely turned on? It's like we're connected on some level that neither of us is consciously aware of.

Or maybe it's just me who's unconscious. That wouldn't be much of a surprise. Most of the time I feel like I'm sleepwalking through life.

Except when I'm with Leo. He activates all of my senses.

As he steps into the shower he grabs my hand and pulls me in with him. When I glance down I can see he's already rock hard and I get wet just thinking about having him inside of me again.

He doesn't waste any time pus.h.i.+ng me against the wall of the shower and sliding inside of me. He's so slick from his own desire as well as the shower water streaming down his body. He glides in and out of me with ease.

Last night Leo f.u.c.ked me like an animal, hard and rough. Now his strokes are long and easy, more sensual and tender, but equally erotic.

I let out as low moan as he fills me so utterly and completely.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me, Wild Child," he whispers as he sinks into me even further.

I'm dizzy with pleasure and pain as he plunges deeper than I ever thought any d.i.c.k could go.

"Oh, G.o.d," I cry out as he gives one final push and collapses against me.

We both stand there for a few seconds allowing the hot water to beat down on us.

I'm surprised when I feel a twinge of disappointment as Leo withdraws. Not having him inside of me makes me feel empty again.

As I turn around to face him his eyes are twinkling like bright stars. He runs a hand down my wet cheek. "You are so beautiful. Like a dream that I never want to wake up from."

It's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, and it scares the s.h.i.+t out of me.

"We'd better clean up," I mutter.

He nods, but he doesn't take his sparkling eyes from mine. Please don't say it, I pray to whatever higher power happens to be listening. Leo cannot tell me that he loves me.

s.h.i.+t like that will completely freak me out. The sad truth is that I want to be loved by Leo, but I'm not sure I'm worthy of being loved.

But he doesn't have to say it. I can see it in his eyes. Leo is head over heels and it's all my fault.

I breathe a small sigh of relief when he says, "Is there a better way to start the day than shower s.e.x?"

"I can't think of one," I agree.

When he grabs the soap and a wash cloth I think he's going to get cleaned up, but to my surprise he starts was.h.i.+ng me instead.

At first I flinch, but as he gently soaps and ma.s.sages every inch of my body I quickly relax.

"Do you like it?" his tone is a lot more tentative than I expect.

"I love it," I a.s.sure him.

"I want to make you feel good," he whispers. "All the time."

I know I should bristle that he wants to do this all the time, but I'm enjoying it too much to deal with the implication of his words.

Then he reaches for the shampoo and places a dab in his palm. "Close your eyes."

As he ma.s.sages the shampoo into my scalp I relax even more. His fingers are pure magic even when he washes my hair. I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed when he finally rinses my hair. I would have let him rub my scalp all day.

"Just give me a minute," he says as he quickly scrubs himself down then washes his hair. It's more like thirty seconds max. He certainly doesn't take the same care with himself that he did with me.

I felt like I was being wors.h.i.+ped while he washed me.

Once we're out of the shower he hands me two fluffy towels and takes one for himself.

"We can't keep having unprotected s.e.x," I tell him as we both dry off. "And this was just s.e.x, remember?"

He nods. "I know. Totally causal. I'm cool with that. And I've got plenty of condoms. I'm packing up my stuff today and moving it into my new room."

"Especially if you're still f.u.c.king Raven." I'm surprised by the tone of my voice. I sound catty and jealous. And I definitely have no reason to be. Neither one of us has ever mentioned monogamy. I don't think it's actually a word in my vocabulary. Not one that I ever plan to use anyway.

"I'm not," he says quietly. Much more quietly than I expect. And there's a sadness in his eyes that I've never seen before.

"Why not?"

We both let the question float there for a long moment before he replies, "I have no idea."

"Really?"

"She was the first girl I ever f.u.c.ked. She and Xander had been s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g around for a little while before they invited me to join the party. I was still a kid. Fifteen. h.e.l.l, we were all kids. I think Raven was sixteen. Xander had just turned seventeen."

"That's a long time to be together."

He nods. He's lost in his thoughts for a few moments and then he looks at me. "Ancient history."

"If you say so." I know it's easy to say you're over someone or something. It's a lot more complicated to actually feel that way.

"Stay with me tonight," he says.

"Maybe," I counter, even though I'm already hungry to have him inside me again.

"I promise I'll have plenty of condoms."

"Then I'll consider your proposal."

When he gives me one of his s.e.xy little grins I realize he's already sealed the deal. And I'm in big trouble.

"You look..." Harper can't seem to find the right words when I walk into her office. And that's very unusual for Harper, the wordsmith.

"Freshly f.u.c.ked," I suggest.

She coughs in response. "I was going to say content."

"Same thing," I a.s.sure her.

"So I guess the whole celibacy thing is over."

"Over like clover."

She furrows her brow. "Is that even a saying?"

"It is now."

On the plus side I don't feel like I need a drink. Turns out I can f.u.c.k outside of rehab and still stay sober.

"Leo?" she prods.

I laugh. "Who else?"

"Let me guess. It had something to do with the bathroom you share and the two of you naked."

"And I fell into the toilet when he left the seat up, so thanks for that."

She puckers her lips like a duck. "How is that my fault?"

"You're the one who put him the bedroom right next to me, knowing we'd be sharing a bathroom."

"In my defense it's the only other guest bedroom that's been completely renovated. We're still working on the other ones."

"One thing led to another and I ended up in his bed. And we f.u.c.ked. And again in the shower this morning. But I told him that it's just s.e.x, nothing more. He agreed that it's just casual. We'll f.u.c.k each other when we want, but we'll still f.u.c.k other people."

She nods, but I can see the doubt in her eyes.

"I'm being serious," I a.s.sure her. "It's just s.e.x."

"You're going to break his heart. And he has a really big one."

"You know you have a knack for making me feel guilty."

"That's because you have a knack for doing things that should make you feel guilty."

I point a finger at her. "This is not my fault. If he has feelings for me, it's all him. I told him from the start, before I even let him put his wonderful c.o.c.k inside of me, that we were just f.u.c.king. And he agreed."

"That's because Leo would say or do anything to be with you. Don't believe me? Next time he wants to have s.e.x ask him to chew off his own arm first."

"He would not chew off his own arm," I insist. But the look on Harper's face tells me it's not too far from being true. And deep down inside I know she's probably right.

I know Leo wants more, but I screwed him anyway. Maybe this one-day-at-a-time s.h.i.+t isn't all it's cracked up to be. Living in the moment is not working out so well. "I'm f.u.c.ked," I state.

"Last night and this morning apparently." She grins.

"Living with Nic has turned you into a comedian," I retort.

"I also live with Leo, Xander, Raven and now you. It's quite a motley crew of jokesters. I've got to quip or die."

"That's quite punny," I fire back.

Then we both laugh.

"Let's get to work. I've got a lot to go over."

"Yes, Boss."

She rolls her eyes at me.

Six.