The Leaving Part 29

AVERY.

It was a ridiculous thing to be jealous of. Scarlett, with some mysterious object inside her, at the center of the drama. Avery was on the outskirts and didn't like it out here. She needed to be closer to the action, closer to information. Because her mother was going downhill fast. She spent her days pacing and her nights fighting panic attacks. She'd wake up thinking she heard a knock on the door, then cry uncontrollably when it ended up not being anyone at all. Avery actually found herself wis.h.i.+ng for a Mannequin Mom. She'd pose her by the pool with an umbrella drink and leave her there until all this was over.

"What do you think it is?" Emma asked.

They were on the beach; Emma had insisted. The hotel they were parked near was having a Hula-Hoop contest.

"I honestly have no idea." Avery was watching one contestant in particular; thinking maybe if Scarlett did some Hula-Hooping the object would get unhinged and come out faster. She'd thought about calling Lucas maybe three hundred times today already.

"I can't imagine what she feels like," Emma said. "The whole world waiting for her . . ."

". . . to take a dump," Avery said.

"Exactly."

Avery shook her head. "I can't really imagine what any of them feels like."

"What do you mean?"

"I just mean the whole thing is messed up. Imagine if you didn't remember the last eleven years."

Emma sat quietly, tilted her head. "Nope. Can't imagine."

Avery laughed. Emma was maybe not the deepest person in the world.

"What?" Emma asked.

"Nothing." Couldn't even explain.

"No, what?"

"You're a good friend, is all." Avery nodded. "Talking about this with me endlessly."

"You're a good friend, too."

"Not lately."

"No?"

Emma was the kind of friend who would give her a kidney if she need ed it. Avery wasn't sure she'd give anybody a kidney-let alone Emma.

"I'm keeping secrets from you," Avery said. "Do good friends do that?"

There was no tracking information available on the book. There was no way to track the feelings she was having for Lucas now.

"Maybe I'm keeping some from you, too." Emma shrugged.

"You know who wrote the note?"

"No, of course not. Not that."

Her mother had started checking the mailbox like crazy, too.

"What am I going to do about my mom?" Had the woman even gone beyond the mailbox since this all started again?

"This may make me sound awful," Emma said, "but that's really your dad's problem."

"But he's not dealing."

"Then I don't know. I guess you're just there for her in whatever way you can be, without also losing your mind?"

"I feel like that's my whole life story. If I ever write my biography, that'll be the t.i.tle. I Was There."

There at the bus stop.

There at the police station.

There on the news.

And on his birthday.

And on Christmas.

When they pretended it wasn't really Christmas.

And on the anniversary.

And then his next birthday.

The next anniversary.

And on and on, and in and out of breakdowns and misery for years.

Emma said, "You need a subt.i.tle."

"I Was There," Avery said, "The Story of the Girl Left Behind."

"Not bad." Emma nodded. "Not bad at all."

Avery stretched out her legs, brushed some sand off one foot with the other. "Do you remember last week?"

"What about it?" Emma giggled, not understanding.

"Last week, my biggest concern in life was buying new flip-flops and getting ready for auditions and planning the many ways in which I could do nothing this week."

"Yeah." Emma sighed. "I liked last week."

A few dolphins were swimming past. People who'd apparently never seen dolphins were making a fuss. "Is it wrong that I don't really have any hope that they'll find him alive?"

"I don't think so," Emma said. "It would be wrong if you didn't want them to find him alive."

Avery sat with that thought.

Imagined a teenage brother in the house.

Imagined him damaged, annoying.

Because what if it went that way?

What if his coming home had the potential to actually make things worse?

Emma said, "Now is when you're supposed to say 'Of course I want them to.'"

"Right," Avery said. "Of course."

Scarlett

Walking up a lit pathway to an adobe-style house, Scarlett hoped that aliens might actually come and s.n.a.t.c.h her and spare her this experience.

Trish and Ted lived on a golf course, basically, in a community with clones of houses and fake lakes with fountains, and a pool and clubhouse where people probably played bingo or had a trivia night, maybe a book club. The couple had, they claimed, been abducted together. Which made sense. It was hard to believe that someone who hadn't been abducted would stay married to someone who thought they had.

Six people were gathered in the living room, where cheese cubes in a variety of yellow-orange hues sat on a round gla.s.s platter. The couches were floral, stiff. The AC was on too high and Scarlett goose-b.u.mped instantly.

Tammy greeted some of the people with small waves, and one man got up to hug her. Then she presented Scarlett with a bit of fanfare. "This"-she clasped her hands together, like to thank G.o.d or someone up there-"is my daughter."

"Welcome to our home," Ted said, and Trish, by his side, took Scarlett's right hand in her two hands and squeezed.

Something about the look in her eyes- so deep and meaningful in intent- made Scarlett go

and say, "I'm not sure I really belong here."

Trish smiled. "Everyone feels that way the first time."

Scarlett was about to explain that she really didn't belong.

But it was too late.

Trish took her by the elbow and guided her to a seat by the cheese cubes.

Chatter kicked up as Scarlett busied herself with a too-soft, essentially flavorless piece of possibly cheddar, and soon her mother's voice rose about the others: "She doesn't remember. I thought maybe if she heard your stories . . ."

One by one, they went around the room and shared.

Lost hours.

Lost days.

No memories of how they got to the kitchen floor, let alone naked.

Being levitated on light beams.

Small creatures with big eyes.

Glowing hearts.

s.p.a.cecraft large enough to shadow entire city blocks.

Each of them seemed to tell their story as if reciting, like they'd told it a million times before.

Scarlett wondered whether she'd have her script down by the time she reached adulthood, whenever that was.