Secret Life Of Amy Bensen: Forsaken Part 17

"It hasn't shown up," I repeat. "Do you know how many people would do just about anything to get it?" And knowing that could include Liam Stone, I straighten, facing Jared. "Does Stone have access to the party's guest list?"

Pus.h.i.+ng off the rail, Jared turns to me, his hands on his hips. "Not officially, but generally Liam Stone can get just about anything he wants."

"No. He gets what he's allowed to get." And just that fast, I'm angry-or maybe it's not so fast at all, but rather a festering black spot that's been growing since Jared's return that I didn't want to acknowledge. I grab Jared's s.h.i.+rt and shove him against the railing over the window. "Why didn't you get my sister out of Liam Stone's hands?" I demand, realizing now how much that's been under the surface, bothering me since he told me about Stone.

He grabs my arms. "I've seen what you haven't. She won't leave him unless it's in captivity. I'm sorry, Chad, but I had no idea if you were ever returning. Me locking her away in a cage was too far for me to go. You want to go after her now, fine. But you need to understand that that man has a hold on her, and he won't easily let go of what he considers his."

"His, my a.s.s."

"He has more money and power than you do, and as harsh as the truth is, he has her trust. You're going to have to earn it back-and it's going to be a war."

The truth of those words crushes what's left of my heart and I let Jared go, running my hand down my hair. I can't lock Amy away eternally. I have to deal with Liam Stone, but I'm going to have to do it after I know she's safe. "I need a way to get to her before Friday night."

"I'll start working on it." He glances toward the bedroom. "I hacked Gia's personnel file at Sheridan's company. Her story matches what you just told me, but there's no mention of a top-secret project."

"That's because it's top secret."

"Four people. That's all that special team comprised, and Sheridan handpicked them all."

"None of this is news to me," I say, relieved it's the truth. "But those other three members will be working to re-create what Gia destroyed. We need to know who they are, and what their motivations are."

"I'm working on making files on the others, but my point wasn't about them. The bottom line here is that Gia was close to Sheridan by being a part of this project. Now I see her getting close to you. She could be another Meg."

"We don't know where Meg came from, or how she found me. We know where Gia came from."

"And we need to know those things about Meg, too. I need everything you can give me from your life before she found you. But that still does nothing to tame my worries about Gia."

"Gia's not another Meg, for all kinds of reasons, and I have no intention of letting anyone screw me over again. On that note, Gia and I need to have a conversation sooner rather than later." I turn to leave.

"Be careful, Chad."

I consider a number of replies, none of which I'd accept if I were him, so I opt to scrub my jawline that's in desperate need of shaving and simply say nothing. I cross the room to enter the master bedroom, likewise wrapped in windows, and Gia greets me at the door, her pale skin like ivory, her dark brown hair draping her shoulders, and worry etched in the furrow of her brow. She is beautiful. She is here. She is mine, if only for now, and I have every intention of keeping her.

I kick the door shut and she takes a step backward, giving me s.p.a.ce I do not want. "You have to know that party is a setup. You can't show up there."

"I take it you listened in on our conversation."

"Yes. I did. Chad-"

She yelps as I grab her, rotating her to press her against the door, trapping her legs with mine. "He hacked your personnel file."

"Of course he did. I don't trust him."

I tangle rough fingers into her hair, tugging just enough to force her blue eyes to mine. "He doesn't trust you."

"Like you?"

My answer is a deep, hungry kiss. The taste of her, addictively sweet, fills my senses, stirs a craving for more. She makes me crave more. Escape. Pa.s.sion. That indefinable sense of needing what only she can give me. She moans, a soft, s.e.xy sound I feel in the tightening of my body, the burn in my limbs. My free hand caresses her hip, her waist, the curve of her breast, and I want nothing more than to be lost at sea with this woman, floating on an ocean of waves, so far away from the rest of the world we can't be found. But I have to settle for here. Now. Lost in her. With her.

Only, she's not with me. I feel it in the tentative caress of her tongue, the uncertainty and reserve of her fingers barely flexing against my chest, and I tear my mouth from hers. "I f.u.c.ked up in the lobby. But Gia, in a very short time, you've gotten inside my head and under my skin in a way no one else has. You know the real me, and that's dangerous for both of us."

"Dangerous. Right." She shoves against my chest. "Let me off this wall."

"Gia-"

"It's my turn to say stop talking. I can't take the back and forth we have going on. You tell me not to trust you, and then use other words to demand the opposite. I can't be this conflicted about you and us when I'm struggling with all I've lost."

"When I tell you not to trust me, it's not about the here and now. It's about the future, after the dust settles. You can't be with me. I will always invite danger. I am a part of a world you can't understand."

"I'm a part of this world now, too, and I need to understand to survive."

"You aren't. You can't be. I won't allow it."

"You can't change what already is. You think that if I'm out of your sight, I'm safe? That's a fantasy, Chad, and I'm not willing to live in a fantasy that could kill me. I want to fight Sheridan. And I want to protect the cylinder, which I know you have." She b.a.l.l.s her fingers around my s.h.i.+rt. "It's not enough to convince him you don't have it. One day this world might need it. You have to come up with a way to make sure it gets to the right person."

"And who is that?"

"I don't know. We have to figure that out. We can. Together."

We stare at each other, the sound of our breaths mingling together, the sun starting to dim beyond the windows, like the resistance I once had to this woman. "I want your help. I even need it, but I won't lie to you anymore. You need to know that the first chance I have to make it happen, I will get you out of this."

"If I don't want to go?"

"You'll go."

She inhales and lets it out. "And never see you again."

"It has to be that way."

"If I resist?"

"Then we'll go to war," I a.s.sure her, "and I'll win."

"If you send me away, I'll go after Sheridan on my own."

I lean back, pressing my hands on the wall beside her. "That would be foolish, and you're not foolish."

"So is your thinking that you can take on something this big on your own. And don't say you have Jared. I told you I don't trust him, and some part of you doesn't either. You didn't tell him you have the cylinder. You didn't even tell him what you were hiding for six years."

"What he doesn't know can't get him killed."

"That's bulls.h.i.+t, Chad. They'll kill him to get to you, just like they'll kill me, or your sister. You do have to destroy them, and I don't even know how you do that."

"I'll figure it out."

"d.a.m.n you and your stubbornness," she hisses. "You're going to end up dead."

"Well, I can promise you that if I do, no one will ever find that cylinder," I say-finally admitting for the first time, to anyone, that I have it.

Her eyes blaze with pure fury. "And so the smarta.s.s returns. You think joking about your death is funny?"

I slide my hands to her hair. "Now you need to stop talking. Right here, this moment, is about just that: the moment."

"This moment won't erase the facts. This is bigger than you and me. I have to be a weapon if I can be."

"But not another loss," I declare. "You give me the information. I risk myself. End of story." She opens her mouth to argue and I silence her with a kiss, and I swear I can almost taste the blood I won't let be hers, almost hear the piercing scream of my mother's agony in my head. I cup Gia's head, deepening the connection between us. Needing again. Demanding. Taking. Relieved when she goes from stiff and unyielding to wildly responsive, her tongue stroking mine, her hands sliding under my s.h.i.+rt, her palms soft and warm. Her touch is somehow like a calm summer breeze on a hot Texas night and at the same time it's the fire that makes it hotter.

But Gia isn't calm. She's all over me-kissing me, touching me, possessive in her own right, as if she is trying to hold onto me beyond the moment.

In a rush of movement, I manage to undress us both, picking her up to carry her to the bed. We go down together, and I intend to be on top, but we end up side by side, staring at each other, and I'm lost all right, lost in the deep pools of torment in her eyes.

I grab her and s.h.i.+ft our bodies, pressing the thickness of my erection between her thighs. I tangle fingers in her hair and lead her gaze to mine. "Gia."

She leans in and kisses me, and there is a desperateness in her that I don't fully understand, but when she shoves on my chest, I let her push me to my back and climb on top. My gaze rakes over the view of her high b.r.e.a.s.t.s and pink, budded nipples. Her slender waist and curvy hips I grasp with my hands, anchoring her as she wastes no time, gripping me and sliding down my erection.

She takes all of me, in more ways than one, and I know that she doesn't know. I can't let her know. We've only known each other a short time. We're reacting to circ.u.mstances, to being alone, and being destined to stay that way. She feels she needs control. I've given it to her, allowing her to take the top position by way of demand.

But she surprises me when she leans forward, pressing her palms to my chest as she brings her cheek to mine and whispers, "Alone isn't better." It's gut wrenching.

I react instantly, one hand cupping the side of her face, flattening the other on her back, holding her to me. "And right now, we aren't alone."

She leans back and tries to look at me, but I don't let her. I force her lips to mine, licking into her mouth, breathing with her, drinking in the fear I sense in her, the desperation that is richer now, fuller in a way that can't be possible unless it's about pa.s.sion and how much we need each other in this place, at this time. I start to move, cupping her backside, lifting my hips. The kiss deepens, maybe because of me, maybe because of her. I don't know. I don't care. I just want her, and this, and that escape into oblivion that I look for in s.e.x and that she actually gives me. We become more frenzied, rougher in the way we drive our bodies together, and we can't kiss. She sits up, staring down at me, and her fear is gone, replaced by the burn of desire.

I watch her move, seduced by her body, her curves, the sway of her hips and the bounce of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s-loving the way her head drops forward, her long dark brown hair draping her ivory skin, the way she can no longer sit up and lowers those tight little nipples to my chest, where they rest against the wall of dark blond hair there, her face nestled in my neck.

We ride out what becomes a storm of need, a burn that has to be sated, grinding our bodies together, the sounds of pleasure and heavy rasps of breathing taking on lives of their own. I cup her backside, caress her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and tug roughly on her nipples. It seems to send her over the edge as she gasps, "Chad."

A moment later, her s.e.x tightens around the thick ridge of my erection, and it is heaven and h.e.l.l at once. I ache for the burn to become a rush of pleasure, a release, and I loathe it for the ending it's sure to become. And it does. Her body spasms and spasms some more, and I can do nothing but respond, pressing her down against me as I thrust upward. Once, twice, and then the explosion, the pleasure-the darkness of release that is eternal and not long enough-and then, too soon, the end.

Gia has already collapsed on top of me, both of us exhausted, sated. For a minute, maybe two, I just hold her, before rolling her to face me. We don't speak at first. I'm not sure either of us wants the return to reality, and with it, our battle. But finally, Gia ends the silence. "Alone isn't better."

G.o.d. This woman could make me forget why alone is better. I reach up, stroking hair from her eyes. "Gia-"

The doorbell rings and I'm on my feet in an instant, tugging on my pants and grabbing my gun from the holster at the foot of the bed. I open the bedroom door to find Jared already at the door to the apartment. "Delivery," I hear from the hallway before Jared says, "Yes. We were expecting you."

I lean on the doorframe, willing the adrenaline rush in my body to calm. Jared turns to look at me over his shoulder, giving my naked chest and low-hanging, unzipped jeans a look before shaking his head in frustration. He really doesn't trust Gia, and I really have to face the facts that Gia can't yet fully comprehend: In a world where a delivery makes me draw a weapon and I question everyone and anyone, including a longtime friend and the woman in my bed, being alone is better, and trust doesn't exist.

FOURTEEN.

HOURS LATER, all three of us have showered and thrown on casual attire. The sun has set long ago behind the skyline, darkness a cloak beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows of the main living area. The marble coffee table is the command center of our hours of work piecing together anything that might be of value to defeat Sheridan and protect Amy.

Stretching, I lean back on the ottoman I'd pulled to the end of the table a good hour ago, watching Gia tab through something on her computer screen while she nibbles on a slice of pizza. Seeming to sense my attention, she arches her brow with a questioning look. I answer by lifting my chin toward Jared, who is sitting on the opposite side of the couch from her. "Just wondering how you're surviving the stench of his anchovies."

Jared glances up from his computer, but doesn't stop typing. "I guess she doesn't have your delicate little nose."

"Chad's right," Gia says, crinkling her nose. "They stink."

"Spoken like a person who ordered 'just cheese' pizza," Jared responds. He seems to have grown more comfortable with Gia as we've shared information, and she's become comfortable with him as well.

"Anything that's furry and stinky should not go in food," Gia fires back. "And it's funny how furry and stinky remind me of Sheridan. I just finished typing up everything I remember about the year I spent with the man. The dinners. The conversations. The people in his life. I just e-mailed my notes to both of you at the addresses you gave me. I'm "

"GiaGia?" I ask, and it's my turn to arch a questioning brow.

"It's a memory," she explains.

"Gia, you know-"

"That I'm not Gia anymore," she finishes. "Yes. It's a free e-mail address on Jared's protected remote server. Let me cling to my past where I can safely."

"There is no place to do it safely. I didn't make those kinds of a.s.sumptions, and I still don't know how I was located and targeted by Meg."

"So far I can't find a clear answer to that," Jared adds, "and I know you've looked as well, but I'm not exactly focused right now. I just fed a personnel list for the facility Gia worked at into a program I created, as well as the guest list for Friday night's party. The program will flag certain criteria I've coded it to look for, but it's going to take a few hours. I can speed it up by not running anything else at the same time." He pulls another computer out of his briefcase. "Good thing I have a backup computer." He glances at me. "I've done this previously with Meg and come up dry. When I couldn't find anything on her electronically, I followed her to a restaurant and bar in Denver, played the social game, and left with her fingerprints. I've done a few jobs for the FBI, and I managed to get her details run through their system without leaving any record the search was done. Nothing turned up. She doesn't exist."

I'm blown away by everything Jared's done, feeling like a s.h.i.+thead for doubting him. "Thanks, man. Seriously. I didn't even have time to leave you money when I disappeared. I swear you will be repaid generously in every possible way."

"The only payment I need is for this to end. And I'm p.i.s.sed as h.e.l.l that Meg escaped my radar. She was in Texas at the same time we were, and then she was just gone. No sign of her again, and she's the only link we have to Rollin. And it makes me nervous as h.e.l.l to know he's a dead man walking around out there somewhere, a license to kill from his fictional grave."

"The upside," I say, "is that I can have the honor of putting him in his real grave."

Jared turns his computer toward Gia. "You're sure you don't remember seeing Rollin before?"

Her brow furrows. "You know, now that I see a larger shot rather than the cell phone photo you showed me before, there is something about him, but I don't know what. Maybe . . . a photo on Sheridan's credenza, perhaps?" She shakes her head. "But I'm not really sure. I didn't exactly get invited to his office to chitchat about his personal life."

"Why did you go there?" I ask.

"For my interviews. For a couple of team meetings. I think maybe four times."

"What about when he hosted all those weekly dinners?" I press. "Did he talk about anything personal at all?"

"He asked us a lot of personal questions as we ate, and seemed genuinely interested in the answers. But once the food was cleared, it was all about the research progress."

"This really shouldn't be news," I say. "Sheridan is a smooth operator who is never foolish."

"He left a door open, and Gia overheard a conversation that led her to help you escape," Jared reminds me. "That sounds pretty foolish to me. Greed and desperation create screwups. And six years is a long time for both things to fester."

"Yes," Gia says, averting her gaze to punch a random key on her computer. "Six years is a long time for it to fester."

Sensing a s.h.i.+ft in her mood, I tilt my head to study her, but she leaps to her feet, tugging her teal T-s.h.i.+rt over her snug black leggings, and announcing, "I need a soda. I put some of the beer from the grocery order in the fridge earlier-anyone want one?"

Jared lifts a finger. "I'm in. I hack better with a buzz."

Gia arches a brow in my direction, but I don't miss how she doesn't quite make eye contact.