To Play The Fool Part 2

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aThey call you Erasmus, I understand,a she said to him. He looked at her with his gentle dark, eyes but said nothing. aIs that your real name?a aWhatever the man called every living creature, that was its name,a he said, after a brief pause.

aThatas a quote?a she said.

aFrom Genesis,a contributed the dean. aEr, the Bible.a aFine, Iall call you Erasmus if you like, but I do need to know your real name.a aThat which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.a aShakespeare,a murmured the dean.

aRight. Okay. Weall come back to names later. You saw the article this morning that one of the homeless men who lives around Golden Gate Park died and that some of his friends there attempted to cremate him. I think the article said his name, as well?a aHe was not the Light,a said Erasmus with a nod.

aYou told me that before.a aEr, Inspector? That phrase is used in the New Testament about John the Baptist,a said the dean. aWas this manas name John?a aIt was. Did you know John?a she asked Erasmus. Again, there was a short delay before he answered, as if he needed to consult some inner oracle.



aA fellow of infinite jest,a he said dryly.

aWould you take it that means yes?a she asked the dean.

aProbably.a aThis is going to be such a fun report to write up,a she grumbled, and took the mug of coffee from the waitress, poured cream in it, and took a sip. aSir, can you tell me where you were on Tuesday morning?a Erasmus smiled at her patiently, tore open a packet of sugar, and stirred it into his own cup.

aDoes that mean you donat remember, or you wonat tell me?a He put the cup to his lips.

aIt may simply mean that he canat think of a quote that fits the answer,a suggested the dean. Erasmus smiled at him with an air of approval.

aDid you know the man they called John?a she persisted.

aI knew him, Horatio,a he said clearly and without hesitation.

Thank G.o.d, one answer anyway, thought Kate. Iall just have to choose my questions to fit a cla.s.sical tag line.

aDo you know his last name?a Erasmus thought for a moment, then resumed his drinking. With a regretful air?

aDo you know where he came from?a Erasmus began to hum some vaguely familiar tune.

aDo you know where he stayed?a There was no answer. aWhat he did? Who his close friends were?a Erasmus looked at his cup.

aWhy do you do this?a Kate threw her spoon down in irritation. aYouare perfectly capable of answering my questions.a Erasmus raised his eyes and studied her. His eyes were remarkably eloquent, compa.s.sionate now, but Kate could make no use of that kind of answer. Suddenly he leaned forward, held his hand out in an att.i.tude of pleading, and began to speak.

aI am a fool,a he p.r.o.nounced. aAnd thus I clothe my naked villainy with odd old ends stolen forth of holy writ, and seem a saint when most I play the devil. Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, all is vanity. A manas pride shall bring him low,a he said forcefully, and his eyes searched her facea"for what? Understanding? Judgment? Whatever it was, he did not find it, and he turned to the dean. aA manas pride,a he said pleading, ashall bring him low,a but the dean gave him no more satisfaction than Kate had. He turned back to her, the muscles of his face rigid with some powerful but unidentifiable emotion. He swallowed and his voice went husky. aThen David made a covenant with Jonathan, because he loved him as his own soul. Would G.o.d I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son. Behold, I am vile. What shall I answer thee? A foolas mouth is his destruction.a Seeing nothing but confusion in his audience, he sat back with a thump and forced a weak smile of apology. aI am a very foolish fond old man, forescore and upward, not an hour more or less, and to deal plainly, I fear I am not in my perfect mind.a While weare talking quotations, thought Kate, how about acrazy like a foxa? They were interrupted by the waitress bringing two plates, and Kate instantly regretted not ordering something to eat. She half-expected Erasmus to say a prayer, or at least bow his head over his food, but instead he calmly spread his napkin onto his lap and began to eat.

aSo,a she said, ayou cannot tell me anything about the man John?a She did not hold out much hope for an answer, but he surprised her.

aA back-friend, a shoulder-clapper,a he said promptly, his face going hard. aThe words of his mouth were smoother than b.u.t.ter, but war was in his heart. His words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords.a He took a forkful of food and chewed it thoughtfully for a moment, then added, aChoked with ambition of the meaner sort. His heart is as firm as a stone, yeaa"as hard as a piece of nether millstone.a He returned to his omelette.

aYou donat say. Your friend Beatrice would certainly agree with that.a Erasmusas stern features relaxed. aHer voice was ever soft, gentle, and lowa"an excellent thing in a woman.a aDo you know how John died?a He paused briefly.

aCan a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?a He began to b.u.t.ter a piece of toast. aMors ultima ratio.a a aDeath is the final accounting,aa translated the dean sotto voce, around a mouthful of eggs and cheese and chili peppers.

aAnd John had much to account for?a Kate suggested. She did not know whether or not to take the first part of his statement as an a.s.sertion that John had actually died by firea"something to be explored later.

aForbear to judge, for we are sinners all. Close up his eyes and draw the curtain close, and let us all to meditation.a aThatas fine for some,a answered Kate. aHowever, itas my job to find how he died and if someone hurried him on his way. Even an obnoxious sinner has a right to die in his own time.a Erasmus surprised her again, by smiling hugely.

aO tigeras heart wrapped in a womanas hide!a he boomed into the startled restaurant. The dean stifled a laugh, but Kate refused to be distracted. She looked him in the eye and bit off her words.

aDo you know anything about Johnas death?a The seriousness of her questions, what they meant for the man on the pyre and all involved with him, seemed suddenly to reach the figure in the ca.s.sock. Erasmus studied the food on his plate as if searching for an answer there, and when he did not find it, he brought his left hand up and laid it flat on the table, studying the worn gold ring that encircled one finger. Gradually his mobile features took on the same appearance they had shown when he had knelt on the ground to declare his abject inadequacies. He was not far from tears. aThe voice of your brotheras blood is crying to me from the ground,a he whispered finally. The dean choked on a piece of food, shot a brief glance at Kate, and then, despite the half-full plate in front of him, he looked at his watch and began to make a business of catching Aprilas attention. Kate ignored him, staring at Erasmus, who seemed mesmerized by the gold on his hand.

aErasmus, do you know how he died?a she said quietly.

The man took a long breath, exhaled, and then looked up at her. aAm I my brotheras keeper?a The dean stood up so rapidly, his chair nearly went over. He looked from Kate to Erasmus helplessly, and when the bill was placed in his hand by the pa.s.sing waitress, he could only throw up his arms and go pay it.

aErasmus,a Kate began evenly, ayou have the right to remain silent.a

SEVEN.

He was, among other things, emphatically what we call a character.

Kate closed the back door of the departmental car and turned to the unhappy man standing beside her on the sidewalk.

aIs this really necessary?a he said, more as a plea than a protest.

aYou heard what he said back there. Even I know the Bible well enough to remember that aAm I my brotheras keeper?a is how Cain answers the accusation that he killed Abel. Which, if I remember rightly, he did. That comes very near to being a confession, the way Brother Erasmus talks. You canat argue with that,a she pointed out, though in fact he was not.

aThe manas mixed up, but heas not violent, never harmful.

You canat arrest him on the basis of biblical pa.s.sages.a Kate was not about to go into the technicalities of precisely what const.i.tutes an arrest, particularly in a fuzzy situation like this one. Still, she had to tell him something. aI havenat actually arrested him. I read him his rights because at that point he changed status, from being a witness to being a potential suspect. He is not in handcuffs,- he is with me voluntarily.a aWhat will you do with him?a aAs you heard me tell him, Iall take him back to the City, interview him, and then weall either let him go or, if information received during the interview demands, weall arrest him. Personally, I doubt that will happen, at least not today.a aIad like to be informed,a he said with authority.

aCertainly.a Kate retrieved a card from her shoulder bag and handed it to him. aI have a few questions I need to ask, if you donat mind.a aI did promise to take this seminar.a aTen minutes,a said Kate, knowing that if head eaten the abandoned breakfast, he would have taken at least that. aHow long have you known Brother Erasmus?a aHeas been coming here for a little over a year now.a aAnd you didnat know him before?a aNo.a aHave you any idea what his real name might be?a aNo, I donat. It might actually be Erasmus, have you considered that?a Kate ignored the deanas sarcasm. She was used to that reaction to police questions. aWhat about where he might have come from?a aIam sorry, Inspector, but no. I donat know anything about him.a aCan you narrow it down, when he first appeared?a aLetas see,a said the dean. He stood thinking for a while, oblivious of the curious looks they were receiving from young pa.s.sersby with backpacks and books. aI was on sabbatical two years ago, and I came back in August, eighteen months ago. Erasmus appeared in the middle of that terma"say October. Heas come regularly as clockwork ever sincea"during term time, I mean. Last summer and during breaks and intercession, he shows up from time to time.a aHow does he get here?a aThe last few months, one of our students who lives in San Francisco has brought him.a aIad like the studentas name, address, and phone number.a aI suppose I could give that information to you. Iall have to check and see if thereas a problem.a aThis is an official murder investigation,a said Kate sternly, hoping the postmortem hadnat found a heart attack or liver failure.

aI know that. Iall call you with the information.a aIad appreciate that, sir. What can you tell me about his movements here? When does he come,- when does he go, where does he sleep,- does he have any particular friends here?a aWell, he sleeps in one of the guest rooms.a aThatas verya generous of you,a commented Kate, wondering how the other guests felt about it.

aItas only been for the last few weeks.a The dean seemed suddenly to become aware that the subject of their conversation was sitting practically at their feet, albeit behind the car window, and he moved away across the sidewalk and lowered his voice. aBack in the first part of November, he showed up one Tuesday in bad shape. He looked to me like head been beaten upa"his lip was swollen and split,- one eye was puffy,- he had a bandage on his eara"a real mess, and, well, shocking, seeing that kind of damage, especially to an old man. It wasnat fresh, probably three or four days old, though he was obviously in some pain, but he was still just carrying on. However, he was in no condition to sleep out, so we got together and put him into a hotel for the next three nights.a aWe?a aSome of the other professors and I pa.s.sed the hat. The next week, he was better, but it was raining, so we did it again, and then the third week he seemed to have made other arrangements. It wasnat until the fourth week that we discovered the dorm had formed a conspiracy and had him sleeping in their rooms the nights he was here.a aWhich nights are those?a aTuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, usually.a aSo you just gave him a room?a aNot exactly. I mean, we did, but only after a tremendous number of meetings and discussions, and student pet.i.tions. The students themselves did it, pointing out gently but firmly that to collect funds for Thanksgiving meals and preach Christmas sermons on the theme ano room at the inna and then to lock the gates against an individual who by that time was a part of the community was perhaps not operating on Christian principles. They did it very well, too. Not once did they even use the word hypocrisy, which I thought was very mature of thema"have you ever noticed how students love that word? Anyway, to make a long story short, we presented the case to the board and they agreed to a trial period of two months. Thatas nearly at an end now, and I expect itall be renewed.a He saw the polite disbelief on her face, so he strung the explanation out a bit further. aYes, it was more complicated than that, insurance and security and all that. But what won them over was Erasmus himself. He hasa itas difficult to explain, but I suppose thereas such an air of sweetness around him, even administrators feel it.a Kate decided to let it go for the time being. aYou said he comes on Tuesdays.a aYes. The young man he rides with is an M.Div. student.a (Whatever that is, thought Kate.) aHe has an afternoon cla.s.s at three, I think, or three-thirtya"a seminar on pastoral theology, but he may come over earlier and work in the library, I see him there quite a bit. He has a couple of kids, so itas hard for him to work at home.a aDid you see him this Tuesday? Or Erasmus?a aI had meetings pretty much all day. I didnat see anyone but university bureaucrats.a aAnd when does he usually leave Berkeley?a aBerkeley as a whole, I canat vouch for, but we rarely see him after Friday morning.a aYou donat know how he leaves?a aNo.a aWhat about friends here? Does he have any particularly close relations.h.i.+ps with students or professors, or with any of the street people?a aJoel, the young man who brings him over on Tuesdays, is probably the student closest to Erasmus. I suppose Iam his best friend among the faculty. I wouldnat know about the homeless, or anyone out of the GTU area, for that matter. Look, Inspector Martinelli, I have to go.a aJust one thing. Iad appreciate it if you could write down for me where those quotes he used today come from.a aAll of them?a aWhatever you can remember.a aWhy? Surely you canat consider them evidence?a aI donat know what they are, and I donat know that I will want them. But I do know that if it turns out I need them in two or three weeks, you wonat remember more than a handful. Right?a aProbably not. Okay, Iall do my best. And Iall be talking to you. Uma can I say good-bye to him?a Kate opened the back door of the cruiser and Dean Gardner bent down, holding his hand out to Erasmus.

aSo long, old friend,a he said. aSorry youall miss dinner tonight, I hope weall see you next week. You remember my phone number?a Erasmus just smiled and let go of the hand. aWell, call me if you need anything.a He stepped back and allowed Kate to slam the door, her mind busy with the image of Erasmus in a telephone booth. Why was that so completely incongruous?

She told the dean she would talk with him soon, got in behind the wheel, and drove away from Berkeleyas holy hill.

Kate kept her eyes firmly on the road, for Berkeley had long been a haven for the mad cyclist and the blithe wheelchair-bound, although on this occasion it was a turbaned Sikh climbing out of a BMW convertible who nearly came to grief under her wheels. She did not glance at the pa.s.senger behind the wire grid until they were on the freeway, pa.s.sing the mud-flat sculptures, but when she did, she found him sitting peacefully, displaying none of the signs of the guilty killer apprehended: He was not asleep, he was not aggressive, he was not talking nonstop. He met her eye calmly.

aThe driving is like the driving of Jehu the son of Nims.h.i.+, for he drives furiously,a he commented.

aYeah, well, if you donat dodge around a bit, you get mowed down.a Glancing over her left shoulder, she slipped over two lanes and then slid back between two trucks and into the turnoff for the Bay Bridge. Once through the toll booths, she looked again at Erasmus, who again met her eyes in the mirror. She had been dreading the drive, fearing the mindless recitations and the inevitable stink of the wine-sozzled unwashed, but he smelled only of warm earth, and his silence was somehow restful. He s.h.i.+fted slightly to ease his cramped position beside the long staff that had barely fit in, and the toy star she had pinned to his chest caught the light.

aHow did you know I was a cop?a she asked.

aI have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees thee.a aThat doesnat explain how you recognized me.a He answered only with a small and apologetic shrug. Perhaps, she realized some time later, it was one of those places where exact quotes were unavailable.

aDo you mean you saw my picture somewhere?a she tried.

aThe morning stars sang together,a he said gently. Right: the Morningstar case. Really great when even the homeless had your face memorized from papers salvaged out of the trash cans, she reflected bitterly, and wrenched the caras wheel across to the exit for the Hall of Justice. She drove around to the prisonersa entrance and let him out, wrestled with his long staff and the small gym bag the dean had fetched from the room Erasmus stayed in, and began to lead him to the doors. Erasmus stopped, a large and immovable object, and looked down at her from his great height. His eyes were worried, but not, Kate thought, because of what might happen in this building. Rather, he searched her face as if for an answer.

aWeeping may endure for a night,a he said finally, abut joy comes in the morning.a aThanks for sharing that,- now, in you go.a He pulled his elbow away from her hand and turned as if to seize her shoulders. She took a quick step back, and he did not pursue, but bent his entire upper body toward her.

aIt is a good thing to escape death, but it is no great pleasure to bring death to a friend.a aWhat are youa"a aFaithful are the wounds of a friend. What is a friend? One soul in two bodies.a The intensity with which he was trying to get his message across was almost painful.

aAre you talking about John?a she asked.

To her dismay, he straightened and with both fists pounded on his head, once, twice in frustration. Two uniformed patrolmen walking toward the building stopped.

aNeed some help, Inspector Martinelli?a the older one said, warily eyeing the tall, graying priest in the distinguished black robe with the childas badge pinned to one shoulder. Erasmus paid him no attention but flung out a hand to her in appeal.

aI have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear,a he repeated, nearly shouting. Then immediately, as if the one arose from the other, exclaimed, aThese vile guns. The wounds of a friend.a Kate felt her face stiffen as the sense of his peculiar method of communication hit home: He was not talking about the man John, he meant Lee. He saw her comprehension, and his face relaxed into the loving concern of a kindly uncle, but there was no way Kate was going to accept his sympathy. She cursed bitterly under her breath and seized his elbow again, propelling him past the patrol officers and through the doors. There was no escape, no relaxing, she was not even allowed to perform the simplest tasks of her job without the constant reminder that everyone and his dog knew who and what and where she was. She would have preferred to have her nude photograph on the front pagesa"at least that would have required a degree of imagination on the part of the voyeurs. Instead of that, even the looniest of the park-bench homeless knew everything about her, had followed her exploits like some G.o.dd.a.m.ned soap opera.

She stabbed her finger on the elevator b.u.t.ton and stood staring straight ahead, not looking at the man beside her whose whole being radiated a patient understanding that was in itself infuriating. They stepped inside the elevator along with four or five others and the door closed. They went up, the others got off at the second floor, and when the elevator had resumed, Erasmus spoke to her.

aA foolas mouth is his destruction,a he said, sounding apologetic. aLet there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee.a Kate tried hard to hang on to her anger, but she could feel it begin to dissipate, shredding itself against the monumental calm of the old man in the priestas robe. She sighed.

aNo, Erasmus, Iam not angry. h.e.l.l, Iam a public servant,- I have no right to a private life, anyway.a The elevator stopped and the door opened. Kate gestured with the carved end of the staff. aDown there. Iall see if my partner is here.a She parked Erasmus at a desk and went in search of Al Hawkin. There were no signs of recent habitation in his office, and the secretary said no, she hadnat seen him yet, so Kate phoned down to the morgue to find out when he would be through. She waited while the woman went to find out, but instead of a female voice, Al himself came on the line.

aWhatas up, Martinelli?a aI didnat mean you should come to the phone, I just wanted to know how much longer youad be.a aJust finished.a aWhat did he find?a aFractured skulla"compression, not from the heat. Somebody whacked him. Itas ours.a Not just an illegal body disposal case, then, but murder. Kate eyed the hefty staff that she had left leaning on the wall behind Hawkinas desk, wondering if she was going to have to bag it as evidence.

aThereas a fair amount of stuff for the lab, of course,a he said, abut there were no other overt signs.a aAny chance of lifting fingerprints?a aTwo of the fingers have a bit of skin left, might give partials if weare lucky. And there were no teeth to x-ray, and no dentures, though the doc said heas been wearing them until recently. Is that what youare phoning about?a aNo. I have Brother Erasmus here,- you said youad like to be in on the interview.a aI would, yes. Have you had lunch?a How the man could think of food with the stench of the autopsy still in his nosea aNo. Youare going for a sandwich? Bring one for the good brother, too. He didnat eat much of his breakfast.a aIall be there as soon as Iave changed.a He hung up. In the months since shead been on active homicide duty, Kate had forgotten Alas almost ritual cleansing after witnessing an autopsy. The smell was pervasive and tenacious, clinging to hair and clothes, and after the first couple of times she, too, had made a point of taking along a change of clothes and some lemon-scented shampoo.

Kate went back to Erasmus. He was sitting where shead left him, the small green book open in his left hand, his right arm tucked up against his chest, with the fist curled into the line of his jaw. It was a peculiar position, and Kate stood studying him for a moment until it came to her: That was how he had stood on the seminary lawn, with the right side of his body wrapped around the tall staff. Except now there was no staff inside the fist.

aWhatas that youare reading?a she asked. He closed it and held it out to her.

APOSTOLIC FATHERS.

I.

Translated by Kirsopp Lake She opened it curiously. The first thing she noticed was that it was a library book, property of the Graduate Theological Union Library. It was divided up into chapters t.i.tled aClement,a aIgnatius to Polycarp,a aThe Didache.a In the text of the book, the left-hand page was in Greek, which Kate recognized but could not read, with the right-hand page its English translation. Erasmus, she thought, had been reading the left side of the book. Kate read a few lines, which had to do with repenting, salvation, seeking G.o.d, and fleeing evil, then closed the book and let it fall open again, something shead once seen Hawkin do, although she supposed it wouldnat mean much in a library book. She read aloud: a aWherefore, brethren, let us forsake our sojourning in this world, and do the will of him who called us.aa She let the pages flip and sort themselves out, finding: a aLet us also be imitators of those who went about ain the skins of goats and sheep.aa Yes, Iave seen a few of those downtown lately.a She let the book fall shut and handed it back to him. aItas going to be about half an hour before we can get started. Sorry about that. Do you want something to drink? Coffee? A toilet?a At her last word, he stood up with an air of expectation. She escorted him down the hall, brought him back, and left him at the desk with his Apostolic Fathers while she retreated to Hawkinas office, keeping one eye on Erasmus.

It was closer to forty-five minutes before Hawkin arriveda"his hair stilldampa"smelling faintly of lemons and strongly of onions from the pair of white bags he dropped on her desk.

aI didnat know if your religious fanatic was a vegetarian, so I got him cheese.a Kate waited while Al dug the sandwiches out and handed her one, then she picked up a packet of french fries and a can of c.o.ke and took them to Erasmus.

aJust another ten minutes,a she told him. aThereas cheese and avocado in that,- hope thatas all right.a aMy mouth shall show forth thy praise,a he replied gravely.

aEra youare welcome.a She went back and found Hawkin halfway through his sandwich.

aWhat are you grinning at?a he said somewhat indistinctly.

aIave dealt with nuts before,a she told him, abut n.o.body quite like Erasmus. Is this that chicken salad with the almonds and orange things? Great.a The french fries were thick and crisp, and for several minutes the only noises to come from Hawkinas desk were the sounds of food being inhaled.

aSo,a said Hawkin eventually, atell me about our friend down the hall.a aWell, heas going to be an interesting interview. He speaks only in quotationsa"the Bible, Shakespeare, that kind of thinga"so of course thereare a lot a direct questions he canat answer.a aIs he coherent?a aYes, in a roundabout sort of way. Thereas usually a kind of key idea in his quote that answers whatever question youave asked, but sometimes you have to dig for it. He usually hesitates before he speaks, to think about what heas going to say, I guess. Some questions he just doesnat answer at all; others, he answers with body language or facial expressions. When he really wants you to understand, though, he just keeps at it until heas sure youave got whatever it is heas driving at.a aInterview by inference,a Hawkin grumbled. aHow the h.e.l.l can we transcribe a whole session filled with shrugs and eloquent silences?a aIt might not be so bad. The problem is interpreting the meaning of his words. For example, it looks like heas confessed to Johnas murder, but I may have misunderstood him.a aExplain.a Kate told him what had happened in the restaurant. aAnd Dean Gardner agreed that to have Erasmus using the words of a biblical murderer could be taken as an admission of guilt. So I read him his rights and brought him here.a Kate decided it wasnat necessary to mention the little scene outside.

Hawkin shook his head and then began to laugh. aAs you say, itas nice to have a variety of nuts to choose from.a He drained his c.o.ke and swept the rubbish into the wastepaper basket. aLetas go see what sense we can shake loose from the holy man.a

EIGHT.

A camaraderie actually founded on courtesy.

At home, sitting at the dinner table, Kate asked a question.

aDo you know anything about fools?a Lee finished chewing her mouthful of lasagna and swallowed.

aItas not a clinically recognized category of mental illness, if thatas what youare asking. Far too widespread.a aNot this kind of fool. This one thinks of himself as some kind of prophet, spouting the Bible.a aYou mean a Fool?a Lee said in surprise, her emphasis placing a capital letter on it. aAs in Holy Fool?a aAs in,a Kate agreed.

aHow on earth did you find one of those?a aHeas connected with that cremation in the park. Seems to be a sort of friend or maybe spiritual leader, if that isnat too farfetched, to the street people in the area.a aThat would make sense, I suppose.a aSo what do you know about fools?a Kate watched Lee take another forkful while she thought.

aNot an awful lot, off the top of my head. Itas a Jungian archetype, of course, a way of counteracting the tendency of social and religious groups to become concretized. The Trickster is a combination of subtle wisdom and profound stupidity, a person both divine and animalistic.a She pinched off another square of lasagna with the edge of her fork, ate it. aMany of the most influential reforms, certainly in religious history, have been made by people who fit the description of fools. St. Francis, for example, was a cla.s.sic fool: He was the son of a wealthy family, who suddenly decided it wasnat enough, so he gave it all away and went to live on the streets, preaching simplicity. Letas see. In the Middle Ages, the court fool was the only one who could speak the truth to the king. Clowns are a degenerated form of fool. Charlie Chaplin used traces of Trickster behavior. I donat know, Kate, Iad have to do some research on it.a She chewed for a while longer, on the food and on the idea. aYou know, I vaguely remember this guy at a conference, years and years ago, in the Berkeley days maybe, who presented himself as a fool. A very deliberate and self-conscious evocation of the archetypal figurea"it must have been a Jungian conference, come to think of it, one of those weekend things sponsored by UC Extension or the Jung Inst.i.tute.a aDo you remember anything about him?a aNot really. Tall fellow, had a beard, I think. White. Him, I mean, not the bearda"he was young, not more than about thirty.a aYouare sure about the age?a aKate, love, this wasa"what, fifteen years ago? All I remember is that he was taller than I was, hairy but neat, wearing motley and carrying this skinny little cane with an ugly carving on it, and trying hard to project an aura of wisdom and self-confidence, although I think at the time I was not impressed. I picture him as uncomfortable, and I think I wondered if he felt silly. Memory is too unreliable to be sure, but Iam fairly sure if head been much older I would have been even more struck by his lack of self-a.s.surance. I take it your fool is too old.a aHe is. Iad say heas a very healthy seventy, seventy-five.a aNo, I donat think the man I remember could have been anywhere near fifty. Is there no way of finding out who he is?a aWeare making inquiries, but so far everythingas negative. n.o.body knows where he came from,- he was not carrying any ID. He wonat tell us anything.a aHe doesnat talk?a aOh, he talks. Just doesnat always make sense. He speaks in phrases taken from someplacea"the Bible, Shakespeare, things like that.a aEverything he says?a aSo far as I can see. I donat know, of course,- Iam just a Catholic, and everyone knows Catholics donat read their Bible. But Iave been told that.a She explained about Dean Philip Gardner and the Graduate Theological Union. aHe says theyare quotes, and Iall take his word for it. Theyare definitely not straight speech.a aHow strange.a aYouad say that isnat standard behavior for a fool?a aI donat know that there is such a thing as standard behavior among fools,a replied Lee, arules of behavior being almost a contradiction in terms. Still, I wouldnat have thought that speaking only in quotations was completely consistent with being a fool. In fact, Iad have said fools would be the last people to constrict themselves in that way. Spontaneity would be their hallmark, clever wordplay, and a definite, urn, suppleness in mind and body. Two things that I possess not, at the moment. Iad have to make a deliberate effort and research the topic before I could give you more than a superficial idea, Iam afraid.a aItas not superficial, and youare doing fine. Itas very helpful, especially knowing there was a fool in the woodwork ten or fifteen years ago, even if itas a different man. Would you like to look into it for me, see if you can find out who he was, or maybe find someone like him?a aFor you, or for the department?a aI suppose it would be for me. I doubt theyad pay you a consultancy fee, if thatas what youare asking.a aIt isnat that. Iam justa I donat know.a aWhat is it, sweetheart?a Kate could see that Lee was troubled but couldnat understand why.

aOh nothing. No, I guess it is something,a said the therapist. aI just donat know how I feel about getting involved in another case.a aOh G.o.d, then donat, hon.a She took Leeas hand from the table, kissed it, held it tightly. aI donat want you to touch any of my cases,-I donat want them to touch you. The question of who fools are or were is of no earthly importance,- I canat imagine it has the slightest relevance to the case. This man who calls himself Brother Erasmus, he interests me, thatas all. I donat know what to make of him and I was curious about what you might know.a She did not add, And I thought it might interest you, give you a project that was challenging but not strenuous. Think again, Kate. The last and only time Lee had been involved with one of her loveras cases, shead ended up with a bullet tearing through two of her vertebrae and a multiple murderer dead on her living room floor, ten feet from where they were now sitting. A lack of enthusiasm for future involvement was not only understandable, it was to be encouraged.

aIt was a bad idea, hon. Forget it.a She gave Lees hand a squeeze and let it go, but Lee did not immediately resume her meal, and Kate kicked herself for her stupidity.

aItas not a bad idea,a Lee said slowly. aWhen I said I donat know how I feel about it, I meant just that: I donat know. I think Iam expecting to feel apprehension, but I honestly donat know if I am. If anything, thereas an absence of emotional overtones, just a vague interest, intellectual almost. Perhaps the apprehension is so strong that Iam blocking it. Thereas a degreea"What are you laughing at?a Kate wasnat laughing, but she was grinning widely. aG.o.d, you sound like a therapist, Lee.a aWhat are you talking about?a she demanded. aI am a therapist.a aI know,a Kate said, loving her, loving the surge of affection and exasperation and normality that had hit her, and then she really was laughing, and Lee with her. When it had washed on, Lee picked up her fork again and continued where they had left off.

aIf itas just for you, Iad be happy to see what I can do. Jon has the modem up and running, this would be a good exercise in learning how to use it in research.a aIf you want to, if you have the time, Iad appreciate it. But I want it kept on a purely theoretical level. If you find someone, I donat want you talking to them, even through the computer. I donat want your ident.i.ty out there at all. The last thing we want is the press standing in our petunias and looking in our windows, and the case is colorful enough already without you getting involved.a aActually, I think Jon dug out the petunias and put in some sweet peas, but I agree. Newspaper reporters know how to use computer nets better than I do. Now, tell me more about this fool of yours.a Dinner progressed with the story of Erasmus, told as entertainment, with the dark moment of the cremation and the possible confession downplayed and the conversation in the parking lot behind the Hall of Justice omitted altogether.

Jon came into the kitchen just as Kate was putting on the coffee. He raised his eyebrows at the plates in the sink.

aArenat you a clever girl, then?a he murmured.

aWhat do you mean?a aShe hasnat eaten that much in a month,a he said, and then in a normal volume added, aWell, toodles, ducks, Iall be seeina ya. Dr. Samson has his beeper on, so buzz me if you have to go out. Arrivederci, Leo,a he called.

aHave a good time, Jon,a she called from the living room, and the door opened and shut behind him.

Kate loaded the dishwasher, put the leftovers in the refrigerator, and took the coffee back into the living room. The television was on and Lee was on the sofa, slightly flushed from the effort of clambering from the wheelchair. Kate stood and looked down at her, smiling.

aYou look gorgeous,a she said.

aTamara came today and gave me a cut and a shampoo. You should let her do yours,- sheas pretty good.a aItas not your hair. Itas you.a aPoor Kate, going blind from all the paperwork. Come and sit down for a while. Thereas an old Maggie Smith movie on Channel Nine.a Lee had a thing for Maggie Smith.

aThe chairas a better place if youare going to_ watch TV. Youall get a stiff neck sitting here.a aI thought maybe if I sat here I could tempt you away from your paperwork. Then I can lean on you and I wonat get a stiff neck.a Kate put both cups on the table and obediently inserted herself behind Lee, who leaned into the circle of her left arm. The movie had just started. They drank their coffee. Kate began to find the warm smell of Leeas curly yellow hair distracting.

aDid your mother p.r.o.nounce it dabl-ya or day-li-ya?a asked Lee suddenly.

aWhat?a aThose hideous flowers,a said Lee, gesturing at the screen with her cup. aEnglish people tend to use three syllables, but I always thought there were two. I should check in the dictionary,a said the scholar.

aDo you want me to go get it for you?a asked Kate, her face buried in Leeas hair. Her left hand, having migrated from the back of the sofa, was pressed flat against Leeas stomach, her forefinger bent and gently circling the rim of one of Leeas b.u.t.tons.

To Play The Fool Part 2

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To Play The Fool Part 2 summary

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