The Heart Of A Killer Part 10

She stepped under the water and let it pour over her head, wis.h.i.+ng she could just disappear, forget all this was happening. She wanted it to go away, didnat want to deal with it.

And Jeff was dead. Dammit, Jeff was dead.

The full force of that reality finally slammed into her.

The sob tore from her throat and she couldnat do anything to hold it back. She shoved the heels of her hands against her eyes to try to stop it, but she couldnat. Instead, she slid down the shower wall and sat on her heels, crying buckets for Jeff, releasing the pain shead been holding back since shead discovered the b.l.o.o.d.y, beaten body in the alley was her friend.

aIam sorry. Iam sorry.a When shead let out all she had in her, she was drained, exhausted. She opened her eyes and climbed to a standing position, her legs shaking. She laid her hands against the wall and just breathed for a minute, then grabbed the shower gel and poured some in her hands, soaped her body and rinsed.

Dante would be back soon. She needed to finish up and the water was getting cold. She rinsed her hair and wrung it out, then turned the shower off.

Thatas when she glanced down at her scar and saw blood.

Her heart began to hammer against her ribs.

Youare imagining it. Itas not there.

She knew that. She looked down again, certain it would be gone, a figment of her overtired, overstressed imagination. But a thin river of blood traced around the scar, started to run down her breast, then her belly and legs.

No. Itas wasnat there. She rubbed at it, but blood kept coming.

Her breathing quickened and the familiar clawing sensation choked off her throat.

No. Oh, G.o.d, no. Not now.

She pushed open the shower door and fought to focus.

The towel. She had to find the towel. And breathe. Breathe, Anna, breathe.

She did. Faster and faster. She was bleeding, she had to get help, now.

Someone help me, please. Heas going to hurt me.

She stumbled out of the shower, tripping over the bottom edge and falling to the tile floor.

And thatas when she saw it, all over the floor. More blood, rivers of it, all around her, pouring from the cut on her chest. She pressed the towel there.

aStop bleeding. Son of a b.i.t.c.h, stop bleeding.a And through it all, her throat closed as if someone had put his hands around her neck and had begun to squeeze. She fought for every breath, sucking in air as if each inhale was the last one. Panting, she tried to get up, but she was nauseous, dizzy, soaked with sweat. And the tile was cool. She was so hot. aHelpame.a She couldnat breathe. She was bleeding. He was going to kill her.

The blood continued to surround her. She was going to drown in it.

Dante put the takeout on the kitchen counter, surprised Anna wasnat out of the shower yet.

Then again, she deserved a long, hot shower after tonight. She looked a wreck and he knew d.a.m.n well how much Jeffas death affected her, despite her attempts at maintaining a cool, professional resolve.

He went to the bathroom door and listened. No shower running, so he knocked.

aAnna? Iam back with food.a And thatas when he heard the shuffling and a faint whisper.

aHelp me.a He turned the k.n.o.b. Door wasnat locked. He pushed it open. She was lying on the floor naked, curled up in a ball, the towel clenched in a death grip around her, her breath sawing in and out.

She was drenched and shaking.

He bent over her and touched her skin. It was cold. aAnna.a She flinched when he touched her. f.u.c.k, she was so pale.

She lifted trembling hands to his. aBlood.a Aw, s.h.i.+t. Head seen enough post-traumatic stress disorder in the field to know a panic attack, and she was in the throes of a big one. aHoney, thereas no blood on you.a He picked her up, despite her attempts to fight him off. He put the lid of the toilet down and sat her on it, then shoved her head between her knees. aBreathe, Anna. Slow and easy.a She ignored him at first, her arms flailing as her instinct to fight was strong. But he kept her head shoved down between her knees and kept his voice calm. aYou know what to do. Breathe slow. Youare hyperventilating.a In the meantime he grabbed a washcloth and ran it under cold water in the sink, didnat bother to wring it out, just slapped it on the back of her neck. After a few minutes she stopped shaking. A few minutes more and her breathing began to slow down. He swept the washcloth down her back, then over her face.

Finally, she seemed calm enough, so he let go of her neck. She raised her head a fraction, but braced her hands on her knees.

aBetter?a She was s.h.i.+vering. aCold now.a He grabbed her robe from the hook on the back of the door and laid it over her. She slid her arms through it and wrapped it around herself.

aNeed a drink of water.a aOkay.a He found disposable cups by the sink, so he filled one and handed it to her. No way was he leaving her alone.

aSip,a he instructed.

aI know.a Her voice was clipped. Angry. She was embarra.s.sed. He understood that, but shead have to deal with it.

She took several sips, breathed a little, then a few more sips until the cup was empty.

She shoved her hair away from her face and blew out a hard breath. She still looked pale, but not as bad as she had when head walked in.

aThink you can stand now?a aYeah.a She reached for the sink, but instead he helped pull her up, then slid his arm around her waist.

aI want to get dressed, comb my hair. Iam okay.a He could let her go now. aHoller if you need me. Iall be in the kitchen.a aIall be out in a minute.a He shut the door, then leaned against the wall, listening to the sounds she made. Normal sounds.

Only then did he exhale and calm his own breathing.

Jesus. Shead scared the s.h.i.+t out of him.

Yeah, shead hidden it well, but the trauma Anna suffered twelve years ago had stayed with her.

And the guilt churned within him.

He pushed off the wall and headed into the kitchen, warmed the Chinese food in the microwave and spread it out on plates. Anna finally surfaced. Shead put on shorts and a tank top and had combed her wet hair. Her face had lost that deathly pallor and she seemed steady enough now.

She hadnat been the only one shaking in there.

aTake a seat.a aMaking yourself at home in my kitchen?a she asked as she slid into one of the chairs at the table.

aAs a matter of fact, I am.a He put a plate and a soda from the fridge in front of her.

aHow long have you had panic attacks?a She lifted her gaze to his, a hot bite of anger in her eyes.

He held her gaze. He wasnat going to let this go, and she knew it.

aTwelve years.a That didnat surprise him. aYou take medication?a She shook her head and pushed her plate to the side. aNo. No drugs. Therapist tried to shove those on me. I tried them but they made me fuzzy. I hated not being clearheaded.a aSo how do you deal with the attacks?a She laughed and took a long swallow of soda, then dabbed at her lips with the napkin. aObviously, not well.a aThey often come with hallucinations?a She inhaled slowly, then dragged it out. aRarely. At first, yeah, but hardly at all anymore. Tonight was a bad one. Sorry.a They ate for a while in silence. He was hungry, so he devoured most of his, while she picked at hers and slid the food around with her fork. But at least she ate some.

aYou donat have to apologize to me, Anna. You went through h.e.l.l twelve years ago. Everyone deals with trauma in different ways.a aObviously I havenat dealt with it.a aThis case dredged it all up again, didnat it?a She stared down at her plate, nudged the rice with her fork and nodded. She didnat want to admit to anything. Dante knew that to her this was admitting weakness. He knew what that felt like.

aYour panic attacks have increased?a She lifted her gaze to his. aSince the night we found George.a aYou still seeing a therapist?a aNot for years.a aMaybe you should consider seeing one.a aWhat for? Itas always going to be with me, Dante. Itas never going away.a He wasnat going to let her get off that easily. aThen maybe you should consider stepping away from this case and letting some other detective handle it.a She laughed. aAre you serious? No one knows as much about this case as I do.a aThen let some other detective and Roman handle it. Roman knows as much about it as you do.a A fast and sharp no was her reply.

aWhy not?a She shrugged and fiddled with the soda can. aBecause he wants me involved.a aWho wants you involved?a She didnat meet his gaze this time. aThe killer.a aYeah? And you know this how?a aHe didnat leave Roman a gift at his front door, did he?a aMaybe thatas exactly why you should give this case up.a aBulls.h.i.+t. Iam a cop and Iave got cop instincts. Iam not handing off this case just because I freak out and hyperventilate every now and then. Iave had these attacks for years. They come and go. I can handle them.a He laughed. aYeah, you were handling it like a champ in there a few minutes ago.a If looks could kill, the glare she pinned him with would have dropped him dead on her kitchen floor. She stood, anger darkening her cheeks.

af.u.c.k you, Dante. Get out of my house.a He only smiled at her. aIam not leaving. Especially not now.a Her hands clenched into fists. He liked her with a little fight in her. It gave her strength and it made him feel better. It hurt him seeing her crumpled and weak on the floor.

aYou think I canat throw you out of my house?a aIad like to see you try. Iam staying put. You need someone to watch over you.a She laughed at that. aI havenat needed anyone to watch over me since you left me twelve years ago. I can take care of myself.a He shrugged and stood, heading into the living room. aSo you keep telling me, but from where Iam standing youare doing a p.i.s.s-poor job of it. The boogeyman could come in here and scare you right into a panic attack. Youad drop like a candy a.s.s.a When she launched herself at him, he was ready for her, just as he was always prepared for an attack. Only this was Anna, and head never serve a lethal blow to someone he cared about.

What he hadnat been prepared for was her fury and the way she leaped on top of the chair and the kitchen table, flying over it to land on him.

He might be holding back. She wasnat. Shead shoved her knee into him. He grabbed her arms and tossed her over his head, sending her flying onto the carpet.

Like a cat, she landed on her feet and without hesitating even a second came at him again. And even though he was more than twice her size, she wasnat deterred. Whoever had taught her these maneuvers had done a d.a.m.n good job. She knew her moves.

But he was better. He could have put her in a hold she couldnat get out of, could immobilize her. h.e.l.l, he knew how to kill in just one move. But that wasnat the idea here. He wanted to see what she had. And what she had was good. Good kicks, great maneuvers, she countered whatever he came up with, and she wasnat afraid to go after him.

Plus, it helped that she was p.i.s.sed at him. Healthy anger made for a stronger opponent. All that peace-loving martial-arts stuff was a load of c.r.a.p.

Go for the jugular. Go for the kill. Thatas what Anna was doing. She was mad enough to kill him right now, and if head been a weaker man head be under her and shead be ready to deliver a death blow.

Not that she would, but shead be capable of it with a lesser opponent.

She leveled a kick that could have broken his nose if he hadnat feinted back.

Yeah, his girl was ready to inflict some pain.

Good for her. He took her leg and lifted it, tossing her onto her back. Then he leaped on top of her.

Time to end the game. He pinned her underneath him and splayed his arms and legs over her, waiting to see if this position would trigger another panic attack.

She was breathing in and out heavily now, but all he saw in her eyes was spitting-mad fury.

aYouare good,a he said.

She fought for breath, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s rising and falling with the effort. aSo are you. Otherwise youad be dead by now.a He laughed. aI donat think it was your intent to kill me.a aDonat flatter yourself. If I wanted you dead, you would be.a aYou donat have it in you to kill someone you care about, Anna.a She arched a brow. aAnd you do?a aYou have no idea what Iam capable of.a aYou know what? Youare right. I donat have any idea what youare capable of because I donat know who the h.e.l.l you are anymore. Now get off me.a He jumped up and held out his hand for her. Instead, she rolled over on her belly and rose on her knees. He shrugged, but when she turned around there was a Glock in her hands, and she was pointing it at him.

aNow who wins, Dante?a

Twelve.

Dante stared at the gun in her hands, then lifted his gaze to hers, no fear in his eyes. aYou gonna shoot me?a She lowered the gun, shoved it back in the pocket of the chair where she always kept one of the spares. aJust trying to prove to you that I do have a few tricks up my sleeve.a aNoted. Feel better now?a Despite her utter fury, her lips lifted. As a matter of fact, she did feel better. And maybe Dante had something to do with that. Head deliberately baited her, no doubt to shock her out of her feel-sorry-for-herself mood. There was nothing she hated more than having a panic attack. Having one and Dante finding her in the midst of one, with the bonus of delusions? The worst thing that could ever happen to her.

Instead of coddling her, though, head p.i.s.sed her off, which had made her so angry shead come after him like a bull.

Which had been exactly what she needed. Now she felt stronger. More capable.

So, yes, she did feel better. And d.a.m.n him, he knew she would.

aThanks.a He smiled. aYouare welcome.a He held his hand out for her and this time she took it, letting him haul her up to stand. aHow did you know what to do?a aIave done my share of time in Iraq and Afghanistan and other unmentionable places. I spent some up-close-and-personal time with people who have PTSD, and know how to deal with it. It has a lot of different faces. Some people you have to hug. Some you have to slap around a little.a She went into the kitchen and grabbed fresh sodas, handed one to him. aYeah. Coddling me wouldnat have made me feel better.a aI know that much about you, Anna.a She pulled her legs up on the sofa and wrapped her arms around them. aAnd yet I donat know a d.a.m.n thing about you, Dante. So tell me.a aWhat do you want to know?a aWhy the army?a He took a gulp of soda, then set it on the table next to him. aI wanted to be all I could be.a She snorted. aNo, seriously. Why the military?a aI was a month away from turning eighteen. I knew college wasnat in the cards for me. I just wasnat ready for it back then. But I knew I needed order and discipline in my life, so the military seemed right for me. I had all this pent-up energy and aggression and I needed an outlet, some training. I talked it over with George and he told me to choose whatever I wanted. I chose army.a She studied him and Dante knew head have to choose each lie carefully. The military part was easy, because that was the truth. But how he got therea"that was all lies. It wasnat George whoad gotten him therea"it had been her father, and it hadnat been his choice to leave.

That he wouldnat tell her. She didnat have to know why her dad had wanted him out of town after that night.

More lies.

aAnd I guess you must have liked military life if youare still in it.a He slanted a smile her way. aItas a lifestyle. I got used to it.a aSo you donat like it?a aI didnat say that.a aYouare not saying much of anything. You didnat say you like it or donat like it. Youare very noncommittal.a aAnd youare a very good detective.a She laughed. aItas my job to probe, to get beyond the surface to the truth.a Head have to be careful what he said around her. aI do like it. At first it was regimented. I had no freedom. It was a lot like being a foster kid, always having someone tell you what to do. It sucked. But after a few years, I had more and more responsibility, and more and more authority. The further up the food chain you go, the more you get.a aWhat do you do for them?a aBlack ops are special a.s.signments. I sometimes work with a team, sometimes alone. It depends on what they need me to do.a aDo you like the work?a Did he? He never thought about it. It was just what he did. aIt pays the bills.a aDante, seriously.a aI donat know, Anna. Itas just what I do. Iam used to it. Itas part of me.a aAnd what is it that you do?a aI canat tell you specifically about the operations Iave done. Theyare cla.s.sified.a She wrinkled her nose and studied him. aSo you go in and do the dirty work, the hard missions that no one else can do.a aSomething like that.a aDoes it involve a lot of killing?a aSometimes.a No point in lying anymore.

aHence the rewards.a aYeah.a aSo now that youare off the grid, I imagine you can do almost whatever you want.a His eyes took on a devilish sparkle. aIt has its perks.a He knew she didnat trust him. He didnat blame her.

aLike a.s.suming false ident.i.ties, Mr. FBI Agent?a aThatall help with the case. Iall be able to pull strings you canat. Get faster results on DNA.a She leaned back against the sofa and twirled the soda can around between her hands. aWhat DNA? So far we havenat found a single piece of useful trace.a aJeffas bedroom was a mess. Surely your techs will be able to sc.r.a.pe up something from there.a aTrue. It sure as h.e.l.l was messier than the alley, which looked as if it had been scoured by a cleaning service. Whoever grabbed Jeff didnat take the time to clean up his place before dragging him out of there. There was a definite struggle in there. Iam hopeful we can pull some DNA, prints, blood or fibersa"something out of there thatall give us a lead, because so far weave found nothing in the alley from either murder.a aSomething will come up.a She yawned. aIt has to.a Her eyes drifted closed and he let the silence stretch between them, hoping shead fall asleep.

It didnat take long. Five minutes, maybe, and she was out, the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest telling him she was asleep.

He scooped her up and she woke, her eyes wide and alert.

aIam taking you to bed.a She arched a brow. aI donat recall inviting you.a He laughed. aIam dumping you in your bed. Then Iam going to my own bed to sleep.a She laid her head on his shoulder. aNow Iam insulted.a He rolled his eyes. aThereas just no pleasing you, is there?a aYeah, Iam tough like that.a After he deposited her on her bed, she grabbed the blanket and pulled it over herself.

aThank you, Dante,a she murmured.

aYouare welcome.a He closed the door to her room and headed toward his own, leaving it open so he could hear anything that might not sound right. As he sat on the edge of the bed he took a deep breath and released it, hoping it would relieve the tightness in his chest.

Maybe head bought into Annaas tough act, because seeing her down on the floor of her bathroom tonight had just about knocked him out.

She wasnat a superhero. She was vulnerable, and she had a lot more demons to fight than just the bad guys out there.

His short vacation was about to get longer.

Anna heard the buzzing, knew it was her phone, but wanted more than anything to ignore it.

Phone meant work or bad news. Shead had all the bad news she could handle. She was full up.

And shead had nightmare-free sleep. Couldnat she just continue with that?

The buzzing intensified.

aWell, h.e.l.l.a She reached out from under the covers and grabbed her phone, read the display and punched the b.u.t.ton. aYeah.a It was Roman. aYou sound like youare asleep.a aI was. Whatas up?a aI did some research into the companies in the buildings backing the alley. The north-side building has a key-card entry system that logs who goes in and out and when. There were three people there last night during the time period of the murder.a She sat up in bed, swept her hair out of her face and blinked several times to force her eyes open. aAnd the south-side building?a aSecurity guard signs people in and out. He said no one was in the building last night, so itas just those three on the north side.a aOkay. Got names?a aYup. Figured youad want to do interviews.a aYou figured right. What time?a aAbout eleven?a The clock said she had an hour. aIall meet you there.a She threw on clothes and decided against making coffee, figuring shead hit a drive-through on her way to meet Roman. That way she wouldnat wake Dante.

She crept down the hall, saw him sleeping facedown on the bed, his gun peeking out from under his pillow.

She closed his door. As she tiptoed out of the house, she felt a twinge of guilt for not waking him.

He didnat have to do everything with her, and he needed the sleep as much as she did, especially after dealing with her meltdown last night.

At least thatas what she told herself. The reality of it was, he was already too close to her and she needed the break.