Twins Under His Tree Part 15

Mitch smoothed his hand over Grace's hair, tweaking the little green bow with his finger. "And how do you feel about that?" he asked Ellie.

"I don't think it matters how I feel."

"Yes, it does." Mitch could tell Ellie that she was the reason he and Lily hadn't been in real contact since June. On the other hand, she wasn't actually the root of the problem.

"Lily asked you here today without my input," Ellie confided.

Mitch gave Ellie a regarding look. "What would your input have been?"

Ellie kept silent.

So he said something he probably shouldn't have. "I think Lily feels she needs your permission to move on."

That widened Ellie's eyes. "You're not serious."

"Yes, I am. We probably shouldn't even be having this conversation, but I thought it would be better if we cleared the air. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I do know Lily deserves to be happy."

He'd said too much. He'd tried to take himself out of the equation as much as possible, but that was difficult when he thought he had a stake in it. It was difficult when he felt as if Lily and the twins owned a piece of his heart.

Seeing them talking, Lily crossed to the sofa with Sophie in her arms. Sophie was rubbing her eyes and her face against Lily's blouse. "I think we'd better get these two home. In a few minutes they're either both going to be asleep or fussing because they're tired."

Mitch carefully picked up Grace and stood with her. "I'll help you pack the car. I should be going, too."

"I can take Grace," Ellie said, reaching for the little girl.

Mitch aided in the transfer, wondering just how seriously Lily might be thinking about moving to Oklahoma City.

While Ellie watched the twins, Lily and Mitch took baby paraphernalia outside to Ellie's car. The weather had turned colder. The late-November wind blew across the parking area and through the corral across the lane. Lily opened the car door while Mitch slid the high chairs inside, along with a diaper bag. At the trunk, he adjusted the stroller to lay flat.

After he shut the lid, he regarded Lily in the glow of the floodlight s.h.i.+ning from the back of the house. "Ellie tells me Troy's mother wants you to move to Oklahoma City." He'd never intended to start like that, but the question had formed before he could think of anything else to say.

Although she wore a suede jacket, Lily wrapped her arms around herself as if to ward off a chill. "I'm surprised she told you that."

"Were you going to tell me?"

"I don't know. After the past few months..." She trailed off. "If I went to Oklahoma City, you wouldn't have to worry about your promise to Troy."

"Is that why you'd move?"

She turned away, as if making eye contact was too difficult, as if she couldn't be as honest if she did.

But he clasped her arm and pulled her a little closer. "What do you want, Lily? A different life in Oklahoma?"

"I'm thinking about it. I have good friends here, but Troy's parents are Sophie and Grace's grandparents. I'm not sure what the right thing to do is."

"Whatever makes you happy."

She gave a short laugh. "And how do we ever really know what that will be?"

He'd meant it when he'd told Ellie he wouldn't try to persuade Lily one way or the other. They'd have to set aside the question of her moving...for now. "I'm glad you asked me to come today," he said after a long pause.

"Are you?" Lily's voice was filled with the same longing Mitch felt. They'd been apart and he'd hated that. He just didn't know if they should be together.

"I never experienced a holiday quite like it," he explained. "I haven't had a place to go for holidays in a long time."

"I think Sophie and Grace remember you. They're so comfortable with you."

"And how comfortable are you with everyone watching?" He swore under his breath. "That didn't come out right."

"Yes, it did. I know what you mean. But we weren't really together today, were we?"

He had to make a decision now, which way was he going to go with Lily. He could just cut her out of his life. But wasn't that in itself making a decision for her?

"How would you like to go to the tree-lighting ceremony on Sunday at the library? We can show the twins all the lights and let them listen to their first Christmas carols."

She only hesitated a few moments. "I'd like to do that."

He didn't ask her if she'd ever been to the tree-lighting ceremony with Troy. He didn't want to know. Although he longed to take her in his arms and kiss her, he didn't. This time, they were going to take small steps toward each other to find out if that's where they wanted to be.

Maybe Sunday would be a beginning. Maybe Sunday would be an end.

At least he'd know one way or the other.

Chapter Ten.

"It pays to have connections," Mitch said with a grin as he stood inside the library, peering out the long window with Sophie in his arms. Raina's mother was the head librarian and had told them they could settle inside for as long as they wanted.

Lily was holding Grace, peering outside beside Mitch. Her arm was brus.h.i.+ng his. Every time it did, he remembered everything about their night together-everything about her hands on his body and the shake-up of his soul. Not for the first time he wondered if he wanted Lily simply because he shouldn't have her.

Mitch suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and tensed. As he turned, he relaxed. "h.e.l.lo, Mr. Fieldcrest. Are you and your wife going to enjoy the tree-lighting ceremony?" Tucker Fieldcrest and his wife owned the B&B where his friends would be staying this coming weekend.

"We surely are. I was going to call you this week, but now I don't have to. I just wanted to tell you, we're all ready for your guests."

Mitch introduced Tucker to Lily. They all chatted for a few minutes and then Tucker motioned to the crowd gathering outside. "They're almost ready to light the tree. You'd better get your place. I'll see you Friday night." With a wave, he left through the library's huge wooden double doors.

"He seems very nice," Lily said, after the older man had gone outside.

"He and his wife Belinda are good people. They're cutting us a break, only charging half the normal room rates. They insisted they'd be empty this time of year anyway, and our veterans deserve more than reasonable room charges."

"Absolutely," Lily said emphatically, and Mitch knew what she was thinking about. Yet she surprised him when she asked, "So, do you still need activities for the kids? Would you like me to come over and paint faces?"

"I roped Matt into playing Santa Claus and I was hoping that would take up the whole afternoon. But if you're still willing, I'm sure everyone would appreciate it."

"I'm still willing."

To do more than face paint? he wanted to ask. All the words that pa.s.sed between them seemed to have an underlying message. When he'd asked her to come along tonight, he'd thought of it as a sort of date. But did she think about it that way, too? Did having the twins along make it merely an outing they could enjoy together?

He'd drive himself crazy with the questions, especially when Lily looked at him with those big, blue eyes and a smile that again brought back their night together in vivid detail. It was ironic, really. They'd had s.e.x in the dark but every moment of it was emblazoned in his mind in living color. Sometimes he thought he could see those same pictures running through Lily's thoughts, but that could be wishful thinking.

"Let's get Sophie and Grace bundled up so we don't miss their expressions when the tree lights glow. Do you have your camera?"

Lily patted the pocket of her yellow down jacket. "Right here. But I don't know how we're going to hold them both and take their picture at the same time."

"We'll figure out something," he a.s.sured her. Sophie suddenly took hold of his nose and squeezed it a little, babbling new consonant sounds as she did. He laughed. "Getting impatient, are you? Come on, let's cover that pretty blond hair with your hat and hood so you stay warm."

Once the girls were dressed, Mitch and Lily pushed the stroller down the side ramp to the sidewalk. A fir tree stood on the land in front of the eighty-year-old, two-story brick library. The storefronts farther up the street were all lit up with multicolor lights, more than ready for Christmas shoppers. Grady Fitzgerald owned a saddle shop in the next block and Mitch thought he caught a glimpse of him and Francesca with their little boy on the other side of the tree. Lily waved to Tessa and Vince Rossi, who'd brought their children, Sean and Natalie, to watch the ceremony.

"Gina and Logan are here somewhere," Lily said to Mitch, leaning close to him so he could hear her amidst the buzz of people talking.

She pulled the camera from her pocket. "You hold the stroller and I'll take your picture."

"Lily, I don't think-" But before he could protest, before he could say he hated to have his picture taken, she'd already done it. Turnabout was fair play, so he motioned her to the back of the stroller, snagged the camera from her hand and took more than one of her with her girls. Sophie and Grace seemed to be mesmerized by the people pa.s.sing by, the stand with the microphone where the mayor stood, the wind carrying the smells of French fries, corn dogs and hamburgers from the food cart parked not far away.

As the mayor, Greta Landon, came to the mike and started her remarks, Mitch handed the camera back to Lily. He swooped Sophie out of the stroller and said, "If you hand me Grace, I can hold them both up, and you can take their picture when the lights go on."

After Lily lifted Grace from the stroller, she transferred her to Mitch. As she stood close, she tilted her chin up and was almost near enough to kiss. She said, "This was a great idea. Maybe we'll start a tradition."

If you don't leave Sagebrush for Oklahoma City, he thought. He believed he was so good at not giving anything away, but he must have been wrong about that. Because Lily backed away as if she couldn't rea.s.sure him she would be staying in Texas. Her impulsive exclamation had been just that-impulsive.

Just like their night together.

At that moment, the mayor announced, "Let this year's Christmas tree glow brightly for all the residents of Sagebrush."

The tree came alive with blue, red, green and purple b.a.l.l.s. Strand after strand of tiny white lights twinkled around those. Mitch witnessed the expression on Sophie and Grace's faces, and their wide-eyed awe was priceless.

Instead of looking at the tree when the Christmas carols began playing, Lily's face was Madonna-like as she gazed at her girls. Then her eyes locked to his. Something elemental twisted in his chest.

The twins already seemed to be developing their own language. They babbled to each other and the gibberish was almost in a cadence that Mitch thought of as language.

Lily leaned in and kissed both of their cheeks, then snapped a picture of Mitch holding them. "What do you think of all those lights?"

They waved their hands at each other and at her.

All of a sudden, Hillary was at Lily's side, carrying her own daughter. "Look who's here," Hillary said, taking in Mitch, Lily and the twins. "Since when are you two seeing each other outside of the office?"

"Since tonight," Mitch answered, matter-of-factly. "We're sharing some Christmas cheer. How does Megan like all this?" If there was one thing Mitch knew, it was that talking about someone's children always took their mind off anything else.

Still, Hillary gave him a knowing look. "She loved it, but now I think she's ready for bed. Besides, I don't want her out in the cold too long. How about you? Are you going to go back into the library for some complimentary hot chocolate?"

He and Lily hadn't discussed that, but he imagined what her answer would be. "We're headed home, too."

Hillary s.h.i.+fted Megan to her other arm. "Well, it was good to run into you without your lab coats on. I'll see you tomorrow." Then as quickly as she'd appeared, she was gone.

If Lily was going to take issue with what he'd told Hillary, this wasn't the time or place. He said, "Let's get them into the stroller and roll them to the car, unless you really would like some hot chocolate first."

As Lily took Sophie from him, she replied, "We can make hot chocolate back at the house."

Hmm. They just might be in for that discussion after all.

Lily had been surprised tonight at what Mitch had said to Hillary. For all those months he'd seemed as far away as the North Pole. But when he'd asked her to come along with him tonight, he seemed to have established a now-or-never att.i.tude. However, everything was unsaid. Everything was up in the air. Everything was up to them.

How should she feel about his proprietary statement? Were they going to be a couple? Could Mitch make a lifelong commitment if that's where they were headed? What if she decided she shouldn't stay in Sagebrush? All the questions were terrifying, along with the life changes they could provoke.

But for tonight?

The warm and fuzzy feelings from the tree-lighting ceremony lingered as they drove home.

After they pulled into the drive, gathered the girls and the stroller and rolled them up the front walk, Mitch asked, "How will your housemates feel about us coming back here?"

"I guess we'll find out."

Her flippant reply almost seemed like a challenge.

Once in the living room, he found Angie and Ellie watching a forensic drama on TV while they strung popcorn to use as garlands.

"You're getting ready for Christmas?" he asked as a h.e.l.lo.

Ellie looked up, shot him a forced smile, then went back to stringing.

Angie responded to his question. "We all like to do home-crafted decorations, so it can take a while."

Without thinking twice, he took Sophie from her stroller, unzipped her coat, took off her mittens and hat and picked her up.

"Ma-ma-ma-ma," she said practically, as her sister chimed in with the same syllable.

He laughed and asked Lily, "Two bottles upstairs?"

She nodded.

"If you need some help..." Ellie called.

"You look like you're busy," Mitch said. "We'll be okay." Taking the lead was second nature to him. Would Lily mind? She didn't give any indication that she did.

"I put bottles together," Angie said. "They're in the refrigerator in their bedroom."

Mitch glanced over his shoulder as he carried Sophie upstairs, right behind Lily with Grace. He wasn't surprised to see Ellie's gaze on them.

In the twins' bedroom, Mitch and Lily stole glances at each other while they fed the girls and readied them for bed. They'd been super-aware of each other all night, but hadn't been able to act on that awareness. Now they still couldn't, with Sophie and Grace to care for and Ellie and Angie downstairs. The whole situation was frustrating, t.i.tillating and exciting. Mitch knew he'd thrown down a figurative gauntlet tonight, and Lily had to make the decision whether or not she wanted to pick it up. She could deny their bond as she had once before. Maybe he was just waiting for her to do it again. Maybe he wanted the safer route. Maybe living alone was preferable to caring about a family. Maybe he didn't think he deserved a family. Because he had come home but others hadn't?

It was a lonely route, yet he was used to it.

Once the twins were comfortably settled in their cribs, once Lily had kissed them both and he'd simply laid a protective hand on each of their foreheads, Lily and Mitch left them to sleep by the glow of the night-light and stepped into the hall. This was about the most privacy they were going to have.