A Fine Balance Part 3

"Do you play yourself? The piano, or -?"

"No, I don't."

"Oh. You have such lovely fingers, I was sure you played the piano."

"No, I don't," she repeated. Her cheeks felt a little hot, and she looked down at her fingers. "I don't know anything about music, I just enjoy listening to it."

"That's the best way, I think."

She wasn't sure what he meant, but nodded. "And what about you? Do you?"

"Like all good Parsi parents, mine made me take violin lessons when I was little," he laughed.

"You don't play it anymore?"

"Oh, once in a while. When I feel like torturing myself, I take it out of its case to make it screech and wail."

She smiled. "At least it must make your parents happy, to hear you play."

"No, they are dead. I live alone."

Her smile collapsed as she prepared to say she was sorry, but he quickly added, "Only the neighbours suffer when I play," and they laughed again.

They always sat together after that, and the following week she accepted a Mangola during the interval. While they were in the lobby, sipping from the chilled bottles, watching moisture beads embellish the gla.s.s, Mr. Toddywalla came up to them.

"So, Rustom, what did you think of the first half? In my opinion, a borderline performance. That flautist should do some breathing exercises before he ever thinks of a recital again." He lingered long enough to be introduced to Dina, which was why he had come in the first place. Then he was off, gambolling towards his next victims.

After the concert Rustom walked her to the bus stop, wheeling his bicycle. The departing audience had their eyes on them. To break the silence she asked, "Are you ever nervous about cycling in this traffic?"

He shook his head. "I've been doing it for years. It's second nature to me." He waited for her bus to arrive, then rode behind the red double-decker till their ways parted. He could not see her watching him from the upper deck. She followed his diminis.h.i.+ng figure, her eyes sometimes losing him, then finding him under a streetlamp, travelling with him till he became a speck that only her imagination could claim was Rustom.

In a few weeks the concert regulars came to regard them as a couple. Their every move was viewed with concern and curiosity. Rustom and Dina were amused by the attention but preferred to dismiss it in the same category as Mr. Toddywalla's antics.

Once, on arriving, Rustom looked around to find Dina in the crowd. One of the first-row sisters immediately came up to his elbow and whispered coyly, "She is here, do not fear. She has just gone to the ladies' room."

It had been raining heavily, and Dina, soaked, was trying to tidy herself up in the ladies' but her tiny hanky was not equal to the task. The towel on the rod looked uninviting. She did the best she could, then went out, her hair still dripping.

"What happened?" asked Rustom.

"My umbrella was blown inside out. I couldn't get it straight quickly enough."

He offered her his large handkerchief. The significance of this proposal was not lost on the observers around them: would she or wouldn't she?

"No, thanks," she said, running her fingers through the wet hair. "It will soon be dry." The concertgoers held their breath.

"My hanky is clean, don't worry," he smiled. "Look, go in and dry yourself, I'll buy two hot coffees for us." When she still hesitated, he threatened to take off his s.h.i.+rt and towel her head with it in the lobby. Laughing, she accepted the handkerchief and returned to the ladies' room. The regulars sighed happily.

Inside, Dina rubbed her hair with the handkerchief. It had a nice smell to it, she thought. Not perfume, but a clean human smell. His smell. The same one she perceived sometimes while sitting next to him. She put it against her nose and breathed deeply, then folded it away, embarra.s.sed.

It was still raining lightly when the concert ended. They walked to the bus stop. The drizzle hissed in the trees, as though the leaves were sizzling. Dina s.h.i.+vered.

"Are you cold?"

"Just a little."

"Hope you're not getting a fever. All that soaking. Listen, why don't you put on my raincoat, and I'll take your umbrella."

"Don't be silly, it's broken. Anyway, how can you ride your cycle with an umbrella?"

"Of course I can. I can ride it standing on my head if necessary." He insisted, and in the bus shelter they undertook the exchange. He helped her into the Duckback raincoat and his hand grazed her shoulder. His fingers felt warm to her cold skin. The sleeves were a bit long, otherwise it fit quite well. And nicely heated up by his body, she realized, as it slowly got the chill out of her.

They stood close together, watching the fine needles of rain slanting in the light of the streetlamp. Then they held hands for the first time, and it seemed the most natural thing to do. It was hard to let go when the bus came.

From now on, Rustom used his bicycle only to get to and from work. In the evenings he came by bus, so they could travel together and he could see her home.

Dina was happier meeting him without the bicycle. She felt he should give it up altogether, it was too dangerous in the city traffic.

"I'm going to get married," announced Dina at the dinner table.

"Ah," beamed her brother. "Good, good. Which one is it, Solly or Porus?" these two being the gents he had most recently introduced.

Dina shook her head.

"Then it must be either Dara or Firdosh," said Ruby, smiling meaningfully. "They are both crazy about you."

"His name is Rustom Dalai."

Nusswan was surprised; the name did not belong among the numerous candidates he had brought before Dina over the past three years. Perhaps it was someone she had met at one of the family gatherings he so detested. "And where did we come across him?"

"We didn't. I did."

Nusswan did not like the answer. He was offended that all his efforts, all his choices, were being spurned by her for a total stranger. "Just like that you want to marry this fellow? What do you know about him and his family? What does he know about you, your family?"

"Everything," said Dina in a tone that made him anxious. "I've been seeing Rustom for a year and a half now."

"I see. A well-kept secret," he said, affecting sarcasm. "And what does he do, this Dalai fellow, your Rustom-in-hiding?"

"He's a pharmaceutical chemist."

"Hah! Pharmaceutical chemist! A b.l.o.o.d.y compounder! Why don't you use the proper word? That's what he is, mixing prescription powders all day long behind a counter."

He reminded himself there was no sense in losing his temper just yet. "So, when are we going to meet this Father Forty-Lakhs of yours?"

"Why? So you can insult him in person?"

"I have no reason to insult him. But it is my duty to meet him, and then advise you properly. In the end it's up to you."

On the appointed day, Rustom arrived with a box of sweetmeats for Nusswan and Ruby, which he placed in the hands of little Xerxes, who was almost three now. For Dina, he brought a new umbrella. The significance was not lost on her, and she smiled. He winked at her when the others were not looking.

"It's gorgeous," she said, opening it up. "What a lovely paG.o.da shape." The fabric was sea green, and the shaft was stainless steel, with a formidable spike at the end.

"That's a dangerous weapon," joked Nusswan. "Be careful who you point it at."

They had tea, with cheese sandwiches and b.u.t.ter biscuits prepared by Ruby and Dina, and the time pa.s.sed without unpleasantness. But that night, after the visitor left, Nusswan said he could not understand for one moment what was in his sister's head brains or sawdust.

"Selecting someone without looks, without money, without prospects. Some fiances give diamond rings. Others a gold watch, or at least a little brooch. What does your fellow bring? A b.l.o.o.d.y umbrella! To think I wasted so much time and energy introducing you to solicitors, chartered accountants, police superintendents, civil engineers. All from respectable families. How will I hold my head up when people hear that my sister married an unambitious medicine-mixing fool? Don't expect me to rejoice or come to the wedding. For me it will be a day of deep, dark mourning."

It was sad, he lamented, that in order to hurt him she was ruining her own life. "Mark my words, your spite will come back to haunt you. I am powerless to stop you, you are twenty-one, no longer a little girl I can look after. And if you are determined to throw your life away in the gutter, I can only watch helplessly while you do it."

Dina had expected all this. The words washed over her and gurgled into oblivion, leaving her untouched. The way the rain had rolled off Rustom's lovely raincoat, she remembered, on that beautiful night. But she wondered again, as she had so many times, where her brother had learned to rave so proficiently. Neither their mother nor father had had much talent for it.

In a few days Nusswan grew calmer. If Dina was getting married and leaving for good, better that it should happen amicably, without too much fuss. Secretly he was also pleased that Rustom Dalai was no great catch. It would have been unbearable if his friends had been rejected in favour of someone superior.

He partic.i.p.ated in the wedding plans with more enthusiasm and generosity than Dina expected. He wanted to book a hall for the reception and pay for everything out of the money he had been collecting for her. "We'll have the wedding after sunset, and then dinner. We'll show them how it's done everyone will envy you. A four-piece band, floral decorations, lights. I can afford about three hundred guests. But no liquor too expensive and too risky. Prohibition police are everywhere, you bribe one and ten more show up for their share."

That night in bed, Ruby, who was pregnant with their second child, expressed dismay at Nusswan's extravagance. "It's up to Rustom Dalai to spend, if they want to get married. Not your responsibility especially when she wouldn't even let you select the husband. She never appreciates anything you do for her."

Rustom and Dina, however, had simpler preferences. The wedding took place in the morning. At Dina's request, it was a quiet ceremony in the same fire-temple where her parents' prayers were performed on each death anniversary. Dustoor Framji, old and stoop-shouldered, watched from the shadows, upset that he had not been asked to conduct the marriage rites. Time was slowing him down, and the flesh of young women was rarely caught now in his once-dexterous embraces. But the name of Dustoor Daab-Chaab clung to his autumnal years even as all else was withering. "It's disgraceful," he grumbled to a colleague. "Especially after my long a.s.sociation with the Shroff family. For death, they come to me for saros-nu-paatru, for afargan, baaj, faroksy. But for a happy occasion, for wedding as.h.i.+rvaad, I am not wanted. It's a matter of shamefulness."

In the evening there was a party at the Shroff residence. Nusswan insisted on at least this much celebration, and arranged for a caterer. There were forty-eight guests, of which six were Rustom's friends, plus his s.h.i.+rin Aunty and Darab Uncle. The rest were from Nusswan's circle, including extended family members who could not be left out without risking criticism from relatives the insinuating, whispered kind of criticism to which he was so sensitive.

The dining room, drawing room, Nusswan's study, and the four bedrooms were rearranged to allow mingling and movement, with tables set up for food and drink. Little Xerxes and his friends ran from room to room in a frenzy of adventure and discovery, screaming and laughing. They were thrilled by the sudden freedom they enjoyed in a house where their previous visits had felt like time spent in prison, grimly supervised by the very strict daddy of Xerxes. Nusswan himself groaned inwardly each time one of them collided with him, but smiled and patted the child on its way.

During the course of the evening he produced four bottles of Scotch whisky to general applause. "Now we will put some life in the evening, and into this newly married pair!" said the men to one another, with much nodding and laughter, and the whispering of things not meant for women's ears.

"Okay, brother-in-law," said Nusswan, clinking two empty gla.s.ses before Rustom. "You're the expert, better start mixing a dose of Johnnie Walker medicine for everyone."

"Sure," said Rustom good-naturedly, and took the gla.s.ses.

"Just joking, just joking," said Nusswan, holding on to the bottle. "How can the bridegroom be allowed to work at his own wedding?" It was his only pharmaceutical dig during the evening.

An hour after the Scotch was taken, Ruby went to the kitchen; it was time to serve dinner. The dining table had been moved against the wall and set up for a buffet. The caterer's men staggered in with hot, heavy dishes, calling "Side please! Side please!" to get through. Everyone reverently made way for the food.

The aromas that had been filling the house with appetizing hints all evening, teasing nostrils and taunting palates, suddenly overwhelmed the gathering. A hush fell across the room. Someone chuckled loudly that where Parsis were concerned, food was number one, conversation came second. Whereupon someone else corrected him: no, no, conversation came third, and the second thing couldn't be mentioned with ladies and children present. Those within earshot rewarded the worn-out joke with hearty laughter.

Ruby clapped her hands: "Okay, everybody! Dinner is served! Please help yourselves and don't be shy, there is lots of food!" She hovered around to play the host in the time-honoured fas.h.i.+on, repeating regretfully before each guest, "Please forgive us, we could manage nothing worthy of you."

"What are you saying, Ruby, it all looks wonderful," they replied. While helping themselves, they took the opportunity to inquire after her pregnancy and when she was expecting.

Nusswan examined the plates that pa.s.sed before him, lightheartedly scolding the guests who took too little. "What's this, Mina, you must be joking. Even my pet sparrow would go hungry with this quant.i.ty." He spooned more biryani for Mina. "Wait, Hosa, wait, one more kabab, it's delicious, believe me, one more, come on, be a sport," and deftly plopped two onto the reluctant plate. "Come back for more, promise?"

When everyone had served themselves, Dina noticed Rustom's s.h.i.+rin Aunty and Darab Uncle on the verandah, a little secluded from the rest, and went to them. "Please eat well. Have you taken enough?"

"More than enough, my child, more than enough. The food is delicious." s.h.i.+rin Aunty beckoned to bring her closer, and beckoned again, to make her bend till Dina's ear was close to her mouth. "If you ever need anything remember, anything at all, you can come to me and Darab."

And Darab Uncle nodded; his hearing was very sharp. "Whatever the problem. We are like Rustom's parents. And you are like our daughter."

"Thank you," said Dina, understanding that this was more than a customary welcoming speech from the other side. She sat with them while they ate. Near the dining table Nusswan, miming with plate and fork, signalled to her to get some food for herself. Yes, later, she mimed back, and stayed with s.h.i.+rin Aunty and Darab Uncle, who watched her with adoring eyes as they ate.

A few guests still remained when Nusswan gave the caterer's men the go-ahead for the cleanup. The lingerers got the hint and said their thanks and goodbyes.

On the way out, someone clutched Rustom's lapel and giggled, whispering with whisky breath that the bride and groom were fortunate not to have a mother-in-law on either side. "Not fair, not fair! No one to question you whether the equipment worked on the first night, you lucky rascal! No one to inspect the bedsheet, hahn!" He prodded Rustom in the stomach with one finger. "You're getting off very lightly!"

"Good night, everybody," said Nusswan and Ruby. "Good night, good night. Thank you very much for coming."

When the last guest had departed, Rustom said, "That was a lovely evening. Thank you both for arranging it."

"Yes, it really was, thank you very much," added Dina.

"You're welcome most welcome," said Nusswan, and Ruby nodded. "It was our duty."

Originally, Dina and Rustom had agreed with Nusswan's suggestion to spend the night there. Then they realized that the rooms would have to be put back in order after the party. So it was more convenient to go straight to Rustom's flat.

"Now don't worry about anything, these fellows will clear up, that's what they are paid for," said Nusswan. "You two carry on." He gave them both a hug. It was the second time that day for Dina. The first time had been in the morning, after the dustoorji had finished reciting the wedding benediction; it had also been the first time in seven years.

A small lump came to her throat. She swallowed as Nusswan quickly pa.s.sed his fingers over his eyes. "Wish you lots of happiness," he said.

Dina fetched a valise that was packed and ready for the night. The rest of her things would be delivered later. Nusswan was going to let her have some furniture from their parents' possessions. He accompanied them down the cobbled walkway to a taxi and waved goodbye. She noticed with surprise that his voice quavered as he said, "All the best! G.o.d bless you!"

They woke up late the next morning. Rustom had taken a week's leave from work, though they couldn't afford to go anywhere on a honeymoon.

Dina made tea in the gloomy kitchen while he watched anxiously. The kitchen was the dingiest room in the flat, its ceiling and plaster blackened by smoke. Rustom's mother had cooked over coal fires all her life. Her brief acquaintance with kerosene had not been propitious there had been a spill, and flames, and burns down her thighs; coal was more obedient, she had concluded.

Rustom had wanted to paint the kitchen before the wedding, along with the other rooms, but the money had refused to stretch that far. He began to apologize for the flat's condition. "You are not used to living like this. Just look at these horrible walls."

"It doesn't matter, it's fine," she said happily. "We'll get it painted later."

Perhaps it was due to her presence in the flat, unusual at breakfast time, but he began detecting new deficiencies around him. "After my parents died I got rid of things. Seemed like clutter to me. I was planning to live like a sadhu, you see, with only my violin for company. Instead of a bed of nails, the screeching of catgut to mortify myself."

"Are the strings really made of cat intestines?"

"Used to be, in the olden days. And in the very olden days, violinists had to go out and hunt down their own strings. There were no music shops then, like L. M. Furtado or G.o.din & Company. At all the great conservatories of Europe, they taught music as well as animal evisceration."

"Now don't be silly so early in the morning," she scolded, but his bizarre humour was what she liked most about him.

"Anyway, I have found my beautiful angel, and the sadhu days are over. The catgut can take a rest."

"I enjoy your playing. You should practise more."

"Are you joking? I sound worse than the fellow last week at Patkar Hall. And he played as though his f-holes were blocked."

"Chhee, how filthy!"

He laughed at the face she made. "I can't help it that's what they are called. Come, let me show you my f-holes." He took the violin case down from the top of the cupboard. "See the shape of the two openings in the soundboard?"

"Oh, it looks just like a running-hand f." She traced the curves with a finger, and touched the strings gently. "Play something while you have it open."