Second Sons - Lord Of The Shadows Part 30

"What if you die?" Tia asked bluntly. "Have you thought about that?"

"If I don't survive it, Tia, it will make little difference to anyone. My father probably thinks I'm already dead. He may even be hoping I am.""It would make a difference to me," she objected. "I haven't sat by you for all these weeks just so you can throw it away on a n.o.ble gesture, Misha."

"I wish it was n.o.ble, Tia," he sighed. "But I fear I'm driven by cowardice more than courage. I've had enough. I can't even bear the thought of this going on for another week, let alone months. I would rather suffer a few days of unbearable agony and be done with it, one way or another."

Master Helgin held out the cup to Misha with a sympathetic smile. "Take this, your highness. Once you've stabilized, you'll be able to think about it more clearly."

Misha held out his trembling hands for them to see. "Look at me, Helgin. I'm a wreck. I would rather risk death than keep on like this."

"Then we'll start tomorrow," Helgin suggested, offering him the poppy-dust again.

Misha slapped the cup from his hand, spilling the precious drug on the floor. "No! We do it now.

While I still have the strength to deny it. Don't offer it to me again, Helgin. Get rid of what you have stashed away. I'm done with it, even if it kills me."

Without waiting for their response, Misha pushed himself to his feet and limped from the kitchen. Tia watched him leave, torn between admiration for what he was attempting and fear for what it would do to him.

Helgin turned to Tia, desperately worried. "Talk to him, Tia. Tell him how foolish this is."

She shook her head slowly. "I think he's right, Helgin."

"You can't be serious!"

"He can't take much more of this. Maybe it's better this way."

"He'll die! Do you want that?"

"Of course I don't want him to die," she said. "But he has a point. Would you want to go on living as he is?"

"The point is would I want to go on living," the old man retorted. "Why not just give him a blade and let him slit his wrists? It would be kinder than what he's proposing."

Tia climbed wearily to her feet. "Maybe it will come to that, Helgin, but in the end, it's Misha's choice, not ours."

Later that day, she found Misha sitting on the beach, staring out over the water. He looked up with a frown as she approached.

"Save your breath, Tia. I am determined to do this and lecturing me won't help."

"I didn't come to lecture you," she said as she sat down beside him. "I think you may be doing the right thing."

He laughed bitterly. "Will you still think that tomorrow when I'm foaming at the mouth?"

"My father was an addict, Misha. I've seen the worst poppy-dust can do to a man. That doesn't frighten me."

"It frightens me."

"Then you'll just have to find a way to deal with it. If this works, in a few days, you'll be a free man."

"And if it doesn't, I'll be dead, and that will be a release in itself."Tia said nothing for a time, just sat with him on the warm white sand, listening to the soothing wash of the ocean.

"Will you promise me something?" he asked.

"Of course."

"No matter how bad it gets. No matter how much I beg, cajole or threaten you, don't give in to me.

Don't let me take any more; not out of pity. If it kills me, that's the price I'm willing to pay. If I'm alive, then you must a.s.sume I can bear the pain, even if you can't bear watching it."

"If you want."

"Swear it, Tia," he insisted. "I've barely got the strength to do this once. If you give in to me out of pity or compa.s.sion or even anger, then I'll never have the courage to try again. Swear to me you'll let me die rather than give me more poppy-dust to relieve my suffering."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes."

"Then I swear it," she promised. "But I have a bad feeling you're going to hate me for that oath before this is over."

He smiled at her and placed his trembling hand over hers. "Not as much as I'd hate you if I awoke to discover I was still an addict because you pitied me."

"I don't pity you, Misha."

He looked at her closely. He had to force his eyes to focus on her. It wouldn't be much longer now, she guessed, before he began to wish he'd not refused the poppy-dust Helgin had offered him.

"I'm not sure I've done anything to deserve much else."

"Pity is something you give to helpless creatures with no control over their fate." His hand was still resting on hers. The palm was sweating and she could feel him shaking.

"And you think I have control...over my fate?"

"You've made the choice to live or die the way you choose, Misha. That's not the action of a helpless creature."

"No, it's the action of a desperate one." He forced a thin smile, but his forehead glistened with sweat and the trembling was getting worse. He was long overdue for his next dose of poppy-dust.

She smiled, hoping the conversation was distracting him. "Well, just don't tell anybody how desperate you are, and n.o.body will ever know."

"I read about an ancient cult once that believed one kept coming back after each life to pay for the previous one." He smiled shakily. Tia wondered if he was trying to drag up any old memory he could find to keep the present at bay. "Ella had a fit when she found me reading the book and confiscated it before my eternal soul could be endangered. But it was an interesting idea. And if it's true, then I must have done something very good in a previous life to deserve a friend like you in this one."

"I'm more interested in what you're planning to do in this life, Misha."

"Ah!" he said. "That's what this... is all about, isn't it? You don't care... about me at all. You're only interested in freeing... Dhevyn."

"And taking down Dirk Provin," she added with a grin. "You forgot that bit."

"How silly of me. I think I should-" He doubled over suddenly, clutching his stomach, unable to speak."Misha!"

"Get me... back to the... house..." he gasped.

Tia hauled him to his feet and forced him to walk with her back along the sand, although he was s.h.i.+vering so hard she could barely hold him upright. But she could no longer carry him. He had gained a considerable amount of muscle since she'd freed him from the Hospice in Tolace. Mellie was emerging from the house as they approached. When she saw them, she ran down to see what was wrong.

"Fetch Helgin," Tia ordered.

"What's the matter with Misha?" she asked worriedly.

"He's in withdrawal."

Misha groaned in her arms. Franco heard the ruckus and emerged on to the veranda. He took one look at them and hurried to take some of Misha's weight from Tia. Between them, they managed to get him up the steps.

Mellie stared at them with concern. "But he's been in withdrawal for weeks, and he's never been-"

"Just get Helgin, Mellie!" she shouted. "Now!"

"What shall I tell him?"

"Tell him it's begun," she said, as Misha cried out weakly and collapsed against her. "Just tell him it's begun."

Chapter 41.

By the time Jacinta arrived in Avacas, the Lord of the Suns had already left for Bollow. She had traveled to Senet in unexpected luxury in the Lion of Senet's own cabin on the Tsarina, which was headed back to Avacas after delivering Kirsh to Kalarada. Kirsh offered her pa.s.sage on the s.h.i.+p.

Jacinta suspected Alenor's husband was so delighted by the idea she would not be around to irritate him, he had offered her a berth to ensure she really did leave. They had never really gotten along, Jacinta and Kirshov. The prince considered her a bad influence on Alenor and often accused her of interfering with things that were none of her concern.

Her new position as the envoy of the Queen of Dhevyn gave Jacinta an unexpected amount of freedom. Her mother would never have countenanced her traveling alone to Senet, even with the escort of Queen's Guardsmen Alenor sent along with her. But as Alenor's envoy, she was-for the time being, at least-free from her mother's protective and smothering domination. With luck, Lady Sofia might even give up on the idea of marrying her off for a while. There's probably more chance of the Age of Shadows returning tomorrow, Jacinta thought with a sigh as the carriage rattled along Avacas's cobbled streets, but one can hope...

All she had to do now was prove herself worthy of the trust Alenor had placed in her by discovering what Dirk Provin was up to.

Jacinta didn't like her chances. Alenor's cousin had managed to keep everyone in the dark and she doubted he would confide in a stranger when he'd pointedly refused to tell Alenor what was going on.

But the challenge intrigued her.

And so did Dirk Provin.

She had a mental image of him in her mind. He would have the same overpowering aura as AntonovLatanya, she imagined. The same hypnotic charisma. Jacinta couldn't imagine him being able to achieve the rank of Lord of the Suns at the tender age of nineteen any other way. Dirk Provin was the wrong age, the wrong nationality, even the wrong parentage, to logically be thought of as Paige Halyn's successor. Maybe it was that which fascinated her most. If the b.a.s.t.a.r.d son of Johan Thorn and Morna Provin could achieve the rank of Lord of the Suns, then nothing was impossible. If he could do that, then maybe the only daughter of an important Dhevynian duke could avoid a future filled with a husband she didn't want, babies she didn't need and a mindless existence filled with nothing more meaningful than tomorrow night's banquet menu.

When Jacinta presented herself at the Hall of Shadows she was served tea and politely but firmly told that if she wished to meet with the Lord of the Suns she would have to find her way to Bollow on her own. More than a little put out, Jacinta then made her way to Avacas palace with the intention of seeking an audience with the High Priestess.

To her relief, Marqel agreed to see her without delay, and she was led to a small, tastelessly-to her eye-furnished chamber on the ground floor of the palace. The Lion of Senet was not in. He had gone to the horse auctions in Arkona for the day, Lord Ezry, the Palace Seneschal, informed her, and wasn't expected back until later that evening. Jacinta was rather glad of the news. Antonov Latanya scared her a little, and if she could avoid dealing with him, she would. Anyway, she wasn't here to see the Lion of Senet. She was here to find out what Dirk Provin was up to.

Marqel breezed into the room a few moments later, dripping with gold bracelets and diamond rings, as if trying to remind everyone of her newfound wealth by wearing it all at once. Jacinta rose and curtsied politely to her, guessing Marqel would like the gesture. Commoners elevated to high office always delighted in seeing those born to rank paying them homage. The Mayor of Oakridge, the town where the bulk of her family's estates were located on the island of Bryton, was just as easily impressed. He'd been a bookbinder before being raised to the exalted position of mayor and he almost s...o...b..red with glee whenever Jacinta had acknowledged him in public.

"Lady Jacinta! What a pleasant surprise!"

"The pleasure is all mine, my lady," Jacinta a.s.sured her. "I must say, the role of High Priestess seems to suit you. You're looking very well."

"It's an honor I do my best to be worthy of," Marqel replied, with entirely false modesty. "But please, be seated and tell me to what I owe this unexpected pleasure."

Jacinta resumed her seat as Marqel took the chair opposite, forcing herself not to smile at Marqel's wordy turn of phrase. "I come to Avacas as the envoy of the Queen of Dhevyn, my lady. I was hoping to meet with the Lord of the Suns."

A fleeting frown flickered over Marqel's face, which Jacinta thought rather interesting. "He's not here. He's gone to Bollow."

"So I understand. I'm rather put out by the news, actually. I didn't come prepared to traipse halfway across Senet to meet with him."

"I can arrange for you to get to Bollow, if that's what you want," Marqel offered, probably delighting in the thought she was in a position to do Jacinta a favor. It wasn't inspired out of friends.h.i.+p, Jacinta was certain. More likely she was doing it to prove she had the power to make things happen at will.

"I'd be most grateful if you could, my lady," Jacinta replied. "I don't know Senet at all, and I'm afraid I'm easy prey for unscrupulous merchants. I have a small escort with me, but even with their help, left to my own devices, I'd probably end up paying a fortune for a coach.""Oh, you don't have to pay for a coach!" Marqel declared. "Dirk's- I mean the Lord of the Suns'

servants are leaving tomorrow with the rest of his gear. You and your escort can travel with them."

Jacinta smiled and realized the trap she'd walked into. She'd accepted the offer and it was too late to go back on it, but Marqel wasn't offering her a coach and four. She was to travel in the Lord of the Suns' baggage wagon.

"I can't thank you enough, my lady."

"Don't mention it," Marqel a.s.sured her. "Believe me, it's nothing."

The transport to Bollow turned out considerably better than Jacinta expected. The carriage that arrived to collect her the following morning was battered and poorly sprung, but it was a carriage, although it was perilously loaded with a number of trunks tied to the roof. Sitting inside was a young couple who looked both nervous and uncomfortable to learn they must share their journey with the Queen of Dhevyn's envoy.

Jacinta decided not to watch the coachman abusing her trunks, so she climbed into the carriage and smiled at the young man and woman as the driver cursed and muttered to himself while he tied her luggage down. Tael Gordonov and the half dozen men of her escort took up position around the coach while the pa.s.sersby in the street wondered at the strange sight of a baggage wagon surrounded by a detail of Dhevynian Guardsmen.

"I'm Lady Jacinta D'Orlon," she told her fellow pa.s.sengers, taking her seat with a friendly smile.

"And you are?"

"I'm Caterina Farlo," the young woman replied uncertainly. "This is Eryk."

Jacinta turned to the young man with a delighted smile. "Eryk? Why Alenor has told me so much about you. I'm so glad to meet you at last."

The boy looked at her in astonishment. "You know Printheth Alenor?"

"But of course I do. She and I are cousins."

"So you say," Caterina replied skeptically.

"Not that I'm required to explain myself to you, but I'm here on her behalf to meet with the Lord of the Suns." She pointed to the mounted escort. "See. I have an escort of Guardsmen with me. Is that not sufficient credentials for you?"

Eryk treated Jacinta to a beaming smile. "Alenor ith the nitheth... I mean... the nicest princess in the whole world."

"She certainly is, Eryk," Jacinta agreed. "And she says you are the most loyal and faithful servant in the whole world. Your master is very lucky to have you."

"I'm glad you're coming with us then, Lady Jacinta. Isn't this good, Caterina?"

The young woman wasn't quite so easily won over as Dirk Provin's dull-witted servant. "I suppose."

The coach jerked as it moved off, hitting every b.u.mp and pothole in the road as they traveled. It was going to be a very long journey, Jacinta thought with a silent groan.