Between The Realms Part 26

I almost held out, but then as he was walking through the doorway, I yelled, "Love you too! Come back or I'll f.u.c.king come and get you!"

The door shut behind him, and I ran to the bathroom to get my backpack.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX.

I WENT OUT INTO MY sitting room, looking for Tim, dropping my backpack on the ground near the hallway leading to my front door. He came up out of his living area when he heard me. I thought I was p.i.s.sed off, but my mood was nothing compared to Tim's.

He was flying in agitated zig-zags around the room, mumbling something about she-pixies when I finally interrupted him. His hair was sticking out on one side, but I didn't have the heart to tell him.

"Are you going or staying?" I asked.

"Staying!" he shrieked.

"Geez, sorry I asked."

"Do you have any idea how emasculating it is to have your life ruled by a she-pixie?"

"No. But I could imagine."

"You have no idea. You cannot possibly imagine. My t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es? They're in her purse."

"Does she use a purse?"

"Shut up, Jayne! You know what I'm saying!"

"Yeah, yeah, your t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es are no longer in your pants. And ew, thanks for the visual."

"Yes. Exactly! I have no man-seed anymore. I'm flowers and petticoats. I'm fawning and curtsying. I might as well go dye my hair blue."

I shook my head in confusion. "I got everything but the blue hair part, Tim. Sorry."

"Blue hair? Pixie eunuchs?"

"Gah, why on earth would anyone want a pixie eunuch around?"

"My point exactly."

I let it go, certain I wasn't going to get a sensible answer out of him right now. He was too upset to bother trying to remedy my ignorance.

"You could go anyway," I suggested.

Tim's eyes lit up for a second and then the light quickly died. "No. As tempting as that might be, I can't. I'm a husband and a father now, and I have to put my family's needs first."

"You sound like Abby talking."

"Don't remind me," he said, throwing himself down on the couch on his back. "I've become my worst nightmare. A homebound pixie eunuch. I'm giving back my cloak. I don't deserve it."

I went over and sat down next to him, causing him to pop up into the air and then flop back down. He glared at me, but I couldn't help but smile back.

"Listen, Tim, it's not like that. First of all, we're not going to be gone long. And second, I hate to say this, but Abby's right. w.i.l.l.y needs you here. You can't keep expecting Abby to do everything while you go off having fun all the time."

"You think I don't know that? Geez, Jayne, I'm not a wee fae, okay? I know I have responsibilities, and I know my son needs me. Abby said I could go, alright?"

"Well, then, what are you so mad about?"

"I don't know! Being a parent is hard!"

I smiled. "But you're so good at it."

"No, I'm not. The truth is, I'd rather be fighting demons than here wiping boogers off my kid's face. That's so terrible to admit. Face it. I'm a bad father."

"I'm pretty sure that's normal for a guy. And even chicks hate wiping boogers. That stuff is nasty no matter who you are."

He sat up and looked at me. "Do you really think that? Or are you just trying to make me feel better for being a terrible father?"

I found it strange that my roommate was actually asking me what I thought of his parenting, but I knew it was important that I be straight with him right now. "I really think that, Tim. The cool thing is that you're admitting it to yourself but not giving into that selfishness. That's the sign of a great dad, I'm pretty sure. It'd be much easier for you to just go and leave them behind. It's in your nature to fight evil, to fly against dragons and save the human race; so the fact that you're choosing not to means a ton."

"Yeah," he said, sounding inspired.

"You're choosing to stay behind and wipe b.u.t.ts and boogers, so that makes you a kick-a.s.s dad."

"Yeah," he said grumpily. "Thanks for the reality check."

"I'm here for ya, Tim. And now I need something from you, something super important and without it, my mission will fail."

He perked up instantly. "What is it, my liege? Say the word and it shall be done."

"I need your t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es for a spell."

"What?!" He flew up towards the ceiling. "No way, changeling. Huh-uh. You stay away from my man-marbles." He cupped his hands over his crotch in a protective gesture.

I laughed until my stomach hurt, he looked so ridiculous flying around with a hand-cup on. When I could finally talk again, I said, "I thought you said you didn't need them anymore."

"I wasn't serious, you empty-headed gnat! Of course I still need my pixie mcnuggets. Don't be ridiculous."

My stomach ached with the laughing and the restraint I tried to put on myself so I could actually talk to him seriously again. "I'm just kidding, you dork. Seriously, though, I need you to spy on the posse for me and find out where they're going first, to the Underworld or the Overworld."

"Oh," he said, coming back down to the couch, still not willing to let go of his jewels. "That I can do. t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es? No. Spying? Absolutely."

"That's what I thought. So can you go, like, now? They're leaving soon."

"Your wish is my command, Lellamental." He looked over at the table, yelling, "Abby, I'll be right back! Don't go to lunch without me!" He put his hand next to his mouth to send his voice over in my direction, out of the hearing-range of his wife. "I said that so she wouldn't freak out, thinking I was trying to sneak away."

I put my hand over my mouth in the same way and whispered. "You so have her all figured out."

The self-satisfied smile dropped from his face at Abby's shouted response.

"Get your spying done and then get your b.u.t.t back here. I need help finding your son. He's disappeared again."

Tim sighed and shook his head. "Why is he always my son when he's being bad?"

"Because that's your DNA working its magic, that's why."

"He is quite handsome, though, you have to admit," said Tim, flying over towards the door.

I followed him so I could open it, saving him from having to squeeze through the hole in the wall that I was sure was there so he and his family could get in and out without using the door. "You're right," I agreed. "He is a handsome little devil ... emphasis on the devil part."

"I'll see you soon," said Tim, holding up his hand.

I gave him my index finger so we could do a high-one. "Be cool, pixieman. Don't let them see or hear you."

"Ten-four, good buddy. Over and out," he said, flying through the door.

I shut it behind him, realizing I'd left my dental floss in the bathroom. I ran back to get it, watching Abby flit from flower to flower out in the garden on my way past. I smiled as I ran into the bathroom and grabbed the little white box from my sink's edge. That pixie kid was a serious pain in the b.u.t.t. I wondered if Tim had been like that when he was little. Probably. Who was I kidding? He was still a pain in the b.u.t.t - but in a good way.

I went back into the sitting room and put the dental floss into the side pocket of my bag before sitting down on the couch, waiting for news of the posse and the arrival of my wolfman and incubus cohorts. Abby had disappeared deeper into the garden, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN.

AIDAN CAME IN THE ROOM a few minutes later, saving me from second-guessing the soundness of my plan for the tenth time. He had a travel pack over his shoulder and a big knife strapped to his belt.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"The question is whether you're ready to go," I said. "I'm not even sure we're on the same page. We haven't had time to discuss our plan."

"I saw your face, heard what you had to say, and felt your anger. I a.s.sumed that meant we were going after the rest of them into the Otherworlds."

"You a.s.sumed right," I said, smiling. "And I appreciate you going, but I'm not sure I deserve the dedication."

"I pledged to watch over you. I can't very well do that from here if you're over there." He dropped his bag on the ground next to mine and joined me on the couch.

"That makes me feel guilty," I said. "I hate feeling guilty."

"Don't feel that way. I could just not go. Honestly, the wolf is offended that none of our kind were included on the list. I'm merely righting an oversight on the part of the gray elves. With me along, our chances of survival increase at least twenty percent." He smiled.

"I had no idea you were so good with math. But seriously, you shouldn't take it as a bad thing you weren't on that stupid list. I wasn't included either. I know I suck some of the time, but I can do some things that I know would help. Plus, I've been there before. I've talked to the dragons, so they know me; and I made it back once already, so I figure I have as good a chance as anyone else at surviving."

"Or better. But that's not their issue. I believe they are worried about losing you more than they are considering how much help you'd be."

"Doesn't matter. I'm going, so there's nothing they can say."

A knock came at the door and then it opened before I could think about whether I wanted to answer. Ben came walking through, his expression all business.

My heart seized up in my chest as I caught him looking at our bags by the door with suspicion.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Going somewhere?"

"Uh, yeah. On a hike. Through the woods. To see Maggie."

"Yeah, right. I know you plan to follow us, Jayne," he said, coming over to stand near me. "And the wolf is going with you. I came to tell you good luck."

"You knew I was going to go? How?"

"I pay attention. You'll be lucky if the entire council hasn't figured it out."

I got up and grabbed our backpacks, shoving them under the couch just in case anyone else decided to drop by. "Thanks for the warning." Leave it to Ben to bring down a good mood.

"I came to talk to you about ... what we discussed yesterday." He looked over at Aidan pointedly. "Can we talk somewhere else?"

"Come into my room for a second," I said. "I'll be right back, Aidan."

He nodded, lying down on the couch and closing his eyes. "I'll be right here."

Ben walked into and stood in the middle of my bedroom, looking around. "So this is what the inner sanctum looks like."

"Shut up and tell me what your plan is for this dragon recruiting or whatever."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I've been sworn to secrecy. The less fae who know, the better chance we have of making it out and back without any interference."

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him if he'd told Leck or Malena yet, but I held back. Better to play stupid for now.

"I'm not going to tell your secret. Who would I tell, anyway?"

"You might reveal it without realizing it or while under the influence of a spell. And I know you plan to go, but I just wanted to say that I think it's a bad idea."

"Why?"

"Because. You're too valuable here. We can't risk losing you."

"And we can risk losing you?"

"I won't be killed, so it's not a risk." He shrugged as if just him saying so would make it true.