The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 31

It is easier to evade than to cause disagreeable complications. It is unpardonable to introduce one party to another after having been warned not to do so.

Forgetting a person's name when about to introduce is awkward, and when it does occur, one should apologize and ask name.

If a person fails to hear the name, it is proper to inform the one to whom you are introduced and to say: "Pardon me, but I failed to hear your name." In making introductions one should distinctly p.r.o.nounce the names.

Parents should not speak of or introduce their children as MISS ANNA, but simply MY DAUGHTER ANNA. Only before servants should they be spoken of as MISS ANNA.

Persons of celebrity should have introductions made to them. Men should always be introduced to women, the younger to an elder person, and unmarried persons to the married. Persons at an entertainment are introduced to the guest of the occasion.

Women and men on being introduced may shake hands, but it is not good form. A polite bow, a smile, and friendly recognition is more correct.

Those invited to an entertainment are on equal footing; it is therefore not necessary to introduce one to another. Conversation may be held without this formality, though introductions may take place if desired.

When an introduction occurs, future recognition is not warranted. For this reason great care should be exercised at entertainments that only those who are congenial to each other should be brought together.

At small gatherings it is more kindly to introduce. When many are present, it is not customary to do so.

Introductions should not take place in a church or on the steps.

It is quite proper to introduce one group to another without formality at any outdoor function--athletic games, etc. Such introductions need not imply further acquaintance if undesirable.

DANCING. The man must be introduced to the woman, and he should ask her for the privilege of a dance.

ENTERTAINMENTS. Introductions are not absolutely required at musicales, teas, "At Homes," etc. One may converse with those nearest, but this does not warrant future recognition.

MEN. Men are introduced to women and single men to married men.

When introduced to a woman, a man should bow but not shake hands, and make some pleasant observations, and express pleasure at the introduction.

When introduced to another man, the man should shake hands.

Business introductions are immediate and personal, and are intended to bring men together without much formality. No formality is required in introducing one man to another on casual meeting.

It is well to avoid exaggerated expressions, as: "Delighted to meet you," or "Glad to know you." A simple "How do you do" is better.

A man introducing another to a woman should first ask her permission to do so.

This gained, he introduces him with the remark: "Mr. Smith desires to be introduced to Miss Wilson."

A woman's permission should first be obtained by the party introducing. Very often off-hand introductions take place; but it is better to be more formal and careful, as indicated.

If she evades or declines, a man should accept it without any show of feeling, and make it as easy for her as possible.

After an introduction at an entertainment, when a man meets the woman on the street, she should bow first if she desires to continue the acquaintance.

CHAPERONE. A man should never be introduced direct by card or letter to a young unmarried woman. If he desires to be introduced, the letter or card of introduction should be addressed to her chaperone or mother, who may then introduce him to the young woman if she deems it advisable.

At an entertainment a chaperone may ask a young man if he wishes to be introduced to the one under her care.

FORMULA. A good formula for men is: "Mr.

Brown, may I present Mr. Clark?"

A man presenting a man friend to a woman should say: "Mr. Williams desires to be presented to Miss Wilson. Miss Wilson, allow me to introduce Mr. Williams. This is Mr. Williams, Miss Wilson."

The formality is sometimes waved, and the forms, "This is Mr. So and So, Miss Jones,"

"Mrs. Smith, Miss Jones," or "Allow me to present ----," are used when casual meetings occur.

PARTY INTRODUCED. After receiving call of party to whom you have been introduced, the visit should be returned. If AT HOME card was left, the call should be made only on the days specified; if an ordinary card, call at any time within three to ten days.

If the party introduced leaves town, he should send his card to his late host before leaving; upon his return, he should leave his card again.

PARTY INTRODUCING BY CARD--WOMEN. A note of explanation may be sent by party who brings about the introduction to the party to whom the introduction is made, giving such explanations as may be deemed advisable.

Two cards should be used--a person's own card and the card of the party being introduced, enclosed in envelope, and sent by mail or messenger. On the left corner over name of party introduced should be written: INTRODUCING MR. WILSON

PARTY INTRODUCING BY LETTER--WOMEN.

Care should be exercised that the introduction is agreeable to all concerned.

RECEPTIONS. The man should express desire for an introduction.

WOMEN. Women calling and meeting others may be introduced to each other by the hostess.

Upon such an occasion, when a meeting happens between women, conversation may take place between them without an introduction.

It does not imply further acquaintance if not desired.

Extreme etiquette demands that no two women of the same locality be introduced to each other without the consent of both parties.

The object of this is that, although the parties may be agreeable to the hostess, they may be objectionable to each other.

Women upon being introduced to each other may shake hands, but a slight inclination of the body, a smile, and an appropriate remark are more correct.

When entering a room where others are a.s.sembled, introducing a guest to more than one person at a time is unadvisable.

Men are introduced to women, single women to married women, and a young woman to an older one.

No woman should allow a man to be introduced to her unless her permission has been first obtained. The exception would be in the case of a very elderly man, or a celebrity, when the honor would be conferred upon her.

A married woman to whom a man is presented receives him with some pleasant remark.

An unmarried one receives him with a pleasant smile and repeats his name.

Personal introduction is done by a third party introducing two persons to each other, provided it is agreeable to all concerned. Introductions should be made with extreme care and caution, and not at all unless one is well acquainted with both parties.

Outdoor Introductions--as, when meeting others, or at outdoor sports--need not be formal, but can be done haphazard. This does not imply further acquaintance if not desired.

FORMULA. A woman should introduce her husband to acquaintances as "My husband,"

and not "Mr."; to intimate friends as "Henry."

HOSTESS. Introductions to the hostess at an "At Home," or reception by women a.s.sisting hostess, of those who have been invited to the entertainment by them, are not recognized thereafter unless by mutual consent.

The hostess receiving in her own home should offer her hand to all to whom she is introduced.

The hostess introduces her immediate family to all her guests. No formal permission is necessary.

In the case of one woman desiring an introduction to another, the hostess should be asked to bring this about.