The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 46

TABLE ETIQUETTE. It is correct to take a little of all that is offered, though one may not care for it.

Bend slightly over the plate when carrying the food to the mouth, resuming upright position afterward.

When drinking from a cup or gla.s.s, raise it gracefully to the mouth and sip the contents.

Do not empty the vessel at one draught.

Guests should not amuse themselves by handling knife or fork, crumbling bread, or leaning their arms on the table. They should sit back in their chairs and a.s.sume an easy position.

A guest at a dinner should not pa.s.s a plate or any article to another guest, or serve the viands, unless asked to do so by the hostess.

Upon leaving the table, push the chair back far enough to be out of the way of others.

ACCIDENTS. Accidents, or anything that may be amiss at the table, should be un.o.bserved by a guest unless he is the cause of it. In that event some pleasant remark as to his awkwardness should be made and no more. The waiter should attend to the matter at once.

If a fork or a spoon is dropped it should not be picked up by the guest, but another used, or ask the waiter to provide one.

CONVERSATION. Aim at bright and general conversation, avoiding all personalities and any subject that all cannot join in. This is largely determined by the character of the company. The guests should accommodate themselves to their surroundings.

See also FINGER-BOWL, KNIFE AND FORK, SECOND HELPING, SEEDS, SPOON, TOOTHPICKS, WINES, and names of individual fruits and foods--as, APPLES, BREAD, etc.

TALKING--THEATRES. Conversation during the progress of the play or the opera should be avoided and confined to the intermissions.

The theatregoer should avoid all noise, gestures, or actions that would annoy others.

A man would be justified, when annoyed by a person talking loud near him, in asking him politely to speak lower.

TEAS.

Invitations. These need no acknowledgment.

Given by bachelors.

See BACHELORS' TEAS.

Afternoon.

See AFTERNOON TEAS.

High.

See HIGH TEA.

TELEPHONE INVITATIONS. Telephone invitations should be sent only to those with whom the utmost intimacy exists, and who will pardon the informality.

THEATRE. A young man may invite a young woman to the theatre or opera, even if he has but a slight acquaintance with her, but of course he should secure the permission of her parents or chaperone.

It is correct for the young man to inquire if the young woman prefers a box, or, if not, he should state in what part of the house he proposes to secure seats. This will enable her to determine how to dress.

If the young woman wears street toilette, her escort may take her in any public conveyance, but if she wears evening dress, he should provide a carriage.

At the theatre he should precede the woman down the aisle to the seat or box; but if it is the latter, he should open the door and wait for her to pa.s.s.

A man may use his judgment as to the aisle seat. If a better view can be had, or seemingly objectionable people are next the inside seat, it is perfectly proper to give the woman the aisle seat.

A man should never leave his companion between the acts. The custom of both men and women going into the foyer at that time is a growing one, and is a relief to the audience.

Refreshments at some fas.h.i.+onable place may follow after the entertainment.

For a man to call on an acquaintance in an opera box does not relieve one of the duty of making a formal call in return for social favors.

BONNET. A woman of any consideration will either wear no bonnet at all or remove it as soon as the curtain is raised.

It would be in place for a man or woman whose view is hampered by a bonnet to politely ask the wearer to remove it, and when it is done, to thank her.

MEN--LEAVING CARDS. After a theatre party given by a man, he should call within three days on the woman he escorted or leave his card.

PRECEDENCE. In entering a theatre a man precedes the women of his party, but after he has handed his coupons to the ushers he gives the women precedence, and follows them to their seats.

TALKING. Conversation during the progress of the play or the opera should be avoided, and confined to the intermissions.

The theatregoer should avoid all noise, gestures, or actions tending to annoy others or to render himself conspicuous.

A man would be justified, when annoyed by a person talking loud near him, in asking him politely to speak lower.

THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES.

GIVEN BY MEN. A man giving a theatre or opera party should secure one or more chaperones if women are to be present.

CALLS. The host should call upon his guests within three days or a week after the event.

CARRIAGES. The host may, if he choose, send carriages or a stage to collect all the guests.

This is a formal and agreeable way to begin the evening's pleasure. The chaperone should be called for first. A more informal way is quite popular. The invitations having been given and accepted, the host informs each of his guests as to the others, and leaves a ticket with each one. All then meet informally at the place of amus.e.m.e.nt. If a dinner is given before the entertainment, carriages are provided to convey the guests to the theatre.

CHAPERONE. A chaperone should always be present if women are to be members of the party. And if a stage or carriage calls for the guests, it should call first for the chaperone.

The chaperone who acts as hostess should decide the hour to close the festivities.

DINNERS. If a dinner is given before the performance, it is generally given at six o'clock, the usual customs being followed. If preferred, the dinner may follow the performance, and may be given at any fas.h.i.+onable restaurant or hotel. If it is given before the play, at its termination the guests are conveyed in carriages or stage to the theatre at the expense of the host.

After the entertainment it is a good plan for the party to return to the banqueting-room to partake of slight refreshments.