Mr. Punch's Country Life Part 1

Mr. Punch's Country Life.

by Various.

ON RUSTIC HUMOUR

Than the compilation of such a series of books as that which includes the present volume there could surely be no more engaging occupation for one who delights to look on the humorous side of life. The editor feels that if his readers derive as much enjoyment from the result of his labours as these labours have afforded him he may reasonably congratulate them! He has found himself many times over, as a book has taken shape from his gatherings in the treasure house of Mr. Punch, saying "This is the best of the lot"--and usually he has been right.

There is none but is "the best!" There _may_ be one that is not quite so good as the other twenty-four; but wild horses would not drag the name of that one from the editor. He feels, however, that in ill.u.s.trating the humours of country life Mr. Punch has risen to the very summit of his genius. There is, of course, good reason for this, as it is notorious that the richest humour is to be found in the lowly walks of life, and flourishes chiefly in rustic places where folks are simple and character has been allowed to grow with something of that individuality we find in the untouched products of Nature. Your true humorist has always been in quick sympathy with the humblest of his fellow men. In the village worthy, in poor blundering Hodge, in the rough but kindly country doctor, the picturesque tramp, the droning country parson, the inept curate, the village glee singers, and such like familiar figures of rural England, the humorist has never failed to find that "source of innocent merriment" he might seek for vainly in more exalted ranks of our complex society. But he seeks among the country folk because his heart is there. The very best of Mr. Punch's humorists of the pencil, Charles Keene and Phil May in the past, and Mr. Raven-Hill and Mr. C. E.

Brock to-day, have given more consideration to the country ways of life than to any other, and hence the exceeding richness of the present volume. It is thus in no sense a comic picture of Mr. Punch's notions of how the so-called country life is attempted by the townsman--one of the most notable features of our present social conditions--but is, in effect, a refres.h.i.+ng breath of genuine rustic humour, kindly, whole-hearted, and "racy of the soil."

[Ill.u.s.tration]

MR. PUNCH'S COUNTRY LIFE

THE BEST SHARE IN A FARM.--The plough-share.

A PROVERB FRESH FROM THE COUNTRY.--No gooseberry without a thorn.

THE CONNOISSEURS.--_Groom._ "Whew's Beer do you like best--this 'ere hom'brewed o' Fisk's, or that there ale they gives yer at the White Ho's'?"

_Keeper_ (_critically_). "Well, o' the tew I prefers this 'ere. That there o' Wum'oods's don't fare to me to taste o' nawthun at all. Now this 'ere dew taste o' the cask!!"

[Ill.u.s.tration: THE AGRICULTURAL OUTLOOK

(_From Dumb-Crambo Junior's Point of View._)]

THE LANGUAGE OF FRUITS

Apple Discord.

Pear Marriage.

Plum Wealth.

Pine Languishment.

Gooseberry Simplicity.

Medlar Interference.

Service a.s.sistance.

Elder-berry Seniority.

Fig Defiance.

Sloe Tardiness.

Crab Sour Temper.

Date Chronology.

Hip Applause.

Haw Swells.

Plaintain Growth.

Pomegranate Seediness.

Prune Retrenchment.

THE REAL LAND QUESTION.--How to make land _answer_.

PERFECT QUIET.--The still room.

[Ill.u.s.tration: LAND AND WATER.--_Prospective Purchaser_ (_arrived from town to see the locality as advertised some three weeks ago. He has not heard of the recent floods in this part of the country_). "Look here.

Are you selling this property by the yard or by the pint?"]

A COUNTRY SELL.--_Native Joker_ (_dissembling_). It's been very fine here for the last week.

_Tourist_ (_who has been kept in by the showers, indignantly_). _What's_ been very fine here?

_Native._ The rain. Very fine rain.

[_Exit Native Joker, hurriedly._

"THE BEST OF IT."--_First Gentleman Farmer._ "Why, there goes that artful rogue, Billy Giles! Is he at his old tricks still?"

_Second Ditto._ "He has cheated everybody down about here, sir, except me! He tried it on this winter, but I was too clever for him! Sold me a cow, and--(_triumphantly_)--I made him take it back at _half-price!!_"

THE REAL "LAND AGITATION."--An earthquake.

A CRY FROM KENT.

Prosperity's fled from our gardens and grounds; How spindly our bines and how scanty our crops!

Wealth _may_ be "advancing by leaps and by bounds,"

It certainly isn't by _hops_!