Rushed: Hushed Part 18

I slid over into his lap, straddling him. "I love you, too." Desperately.

He couldn't know how afraid I was that I would lose him.

He stood with me wrapped around him. I slid my legs down him until they touched the deck floor.

He grabbed me by the hand, leaving our lunch sitting on the bench as he pulled a key from his pocket. He held it up. "Let's go inside."

The lock was sticky. He had to rattle the key to get the door to swing open. And then we were in. The cabin was cold from standing empty and unheated.

He closed the door and pulled me through the living room into a bedroom with a log frame bed. I kissed him as he fell back onto the bed, pulling me on top of him.

His hands were warm as they slid beneath my blouse and caressed my bare skin at the small of my back. Everything in me tightened at his touch, aching for release.

I needed him. Simply needed him. The rea.s.surance of being with him. The bonding.

I felt the long, hard bulging in his jeans as I lay on him, straddling his hips with my thighs, rubbing against him.

I ran my hands through his hair. "Why do you have to be so gorgeous?"

He smiled. "Why do you have to be so beautiful?" He took a breath. "I missed you, Maddie. So d.a.m.n much. I thought I would go crazy if the week lasted much longer. And then we got off on the wrong foot earlier. I've been planning this all week. s.h.i.+t, since I first asked you here for spring break. Did you think about me?"

"Every minute." And more. I couldn't tell him I worried, too. That I was so afraid our parents' relations.h.i.+p had doomed our love all those years ago, well before we were born. I reached for his fly and unzipped his jeans.

He covered my hand with his. "Did you think about this?" His eyes were dark and round as he looked up at me. "Did you think about having s.e.x with me?"

I slid his d.i.c.k out of his fly and stroked him. Hard. I leaned in close, so that our lips were separated by a whisper. "More. I dreamed about it."

He smiled, slowly and seductively.

I closed the gap between our lips and kissed him again. Softly, running my tongue over his parted lips with the lightest of touches. He liked it when I took charge and teased him.

I nibbled at his lips, stroking him until I could feel him holding back. Until I felt the first tremors of pulsing in his d.i.c.k and knew he was completely at my mercy and on the edge.

"You're killing me, Mads." His voice was ragged. "Either finish me by hand or get serious."

I kicked off my shoes. "Oh, I'm serious."

I released him, unzipped my jeans, and slid them and my panties off.

He slid a finger inside me. "You are thinking about me."

I gasped. I was ready for him, too.

Another time I would have lifted his s.h.i.+rt. Run my hands over his flat abs and muscled chest. Sucked on his nipples. Not now. I needed him too badly, emotionally and physically.

"I would rather have your d.i.c.k inside me," I whispered into his ear.

He pulled his finger out. I stroked him a final time and slid onto him.

He didn't wait for me to ride him. He thrust up into me until I gasped and moaned.

I was so ready for him, it took only a few pulses until I gasped and the climax crashed over me.

He moaned and grunted, pus.h.i.+ng up into me, holding my hips firmly in place, riding his own crest of pleasure.

Finally, I collapsed onto him, pressing my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

He grabbed my b.u.t.t. His hands were warm.

"Your b.u.t.t is cold." He kissed the top of my head.

I smiled, so happy in the moment. "It's out in the open air. The cold air."

He pulled the edge of the comforter over me. "Better?"

"Mmmmm."

He wrapped his arms around me and slid out from inside me.

"You planned this all along," I said.

He laughed. "Maybe."

"I could stay like this forever," I said. And then my stomach betrayed me by growling.

He shook me playfully. "Until you died of hunger. I guess I should feed you." He put a note of mock exasperation in his voice.

"I guess so," I said. "I drove hundreds of miles across dangerous mountain pa.s.ses to see you. That's enough to work up an appet.i.te."

"Not to mention what we just did." His d.i.c.k was growing hard again between my legs.

"Not again."

"Just once more?"

Eventually, we got up and got dressed. We ate lunch in the suns.h.i.+ne in the corner of the deck. Caesar had packed us a magnificent lunch. Sandwiches on focaccia bread, hand-cut potato chips, cold soup in Mason jars, and thick chocolate cookies that we ate with a bottle of wine from Rick's winery.

I swore that nothing had ever tasted so good. After lunch, Seth showed me around the woods, pointing out spring wild flowers. I found a first bloom of a rare pink lady slipper nestled beneath a clump of bushes.

"I'm going to press this and keep it forever," I told him. "Do you have any wax paper?"

He found me some inside the cabin. We found a couple of heavy books and pressed the flower between them.

Seth put the books in the boat. "Dad won't mind if we borrow these books from the cabin for a few days." He hesitated. "Speaking of Dad, he would like us to have dinner with him at the hotel tonight." He paused again. "I made the arrangements before you came. If it's too awkward-"

"No!" I took Seth's hand. "It's fine. It's good." I paused. "Seth?"

He looked at me like he knew what I was going to ask from the tone of my voice.

"Do you think your dad and my mom ever...did what we did earlier?"

"You mean pick wild flowers?" He acted too innocent.

I b.u.mped him with my shoulder. "Only euphemistically."

"s.h.i.+t, Mads. I hope not. I don't want to think about that."

I was trying to prepare Seth, gently, for the shock that I couldn't hide forever.

"Are you curious about what really happened between them?" I needed an ally. It occurred to me that working together, we might get details out of Rick that my mom would never give.

"Not to that level of detail." He made a point of shuddering.

"Shut up!" I kissed him lightly. "Me, either. But I would like to know more. Like how long did they date?"

Seth frowned. "Leave it be, Mads." He kissed me before I could protest. "We should get back."

Chapter 15.

Maddie We ate dinner at sunset in the dining room of Rick's hotel. It was Friday night and the restaurant was busy with locals and tourists. People spending the weekend in Was.h.i.+ngton wine country. People whose children were on spring break. But we had a prime table with a view of the lake and sunset.

I dressed for dinner in a spring dress I'd bought on one of my many wedding shopping trips with Mom. A nod to her guilt that so much of my time at home was about her. Seth sat next to me. Rick across from me.

Rick was on his best behavior-laughing, joking, being generally charming. I saw now where Seth got his friendly, easygoing nature and natural charisma. Seth had his arm possessively looped over the back of my chair. Like he was making it clear to his dad that I was his.

Rick studied me as if he was looking for Mom in me and seeing her in almost every aspect. I studied him, too. With every pa.s.sing moment in his presence, seeing him as he was now, and imagining him as he'd been at Seth's age, I knew there was no way Mom could have resisted him. Just like I was powerless to resist Seth. No matter how loyal, intelligent, and supportive Dad had been. Compared to Rick Butler, he hadn't stood a chance.

It was hard to imagine Mom young and pa.s.sionate, in the same state as I was-desperate in love. Wanting to hold on with everything she had. Wanting Rick in the way I needed Seth. It was so unlike the woman who'd raised me. The sensible, calm, unromantic woman.

The woman who had only let Dad kiss her on the cheek as they left for work in the morning. The woman who'd given him a peck on the mouth-so quick and perfunctory-when they both came home at night. The wife who was solicitous and loyal, but whose eyes had never sparkled with pa.s.sion toward him.

I had always thought Mom wasn't the romantic kind by nature. That she'd always been the way I knew her to be. But being around Rick, I was beginning to wonder if what I'd seen of her was more of a sh.e.l.l. A woman whose pa.s.sions had died. A woman who'd settled for friends.h.i.+p, loyalty, and security at the cost of her heart.

It was almost unthinkable. And heartbreaking. But there it was staring me in the face in the form of Seth's dad.

Maybe I didn't know Mom at all. Maybe she'd kept a big piece of her from all of us. Maybe that explained the worried looks Grandma used to give her. Or the way Grandpa complained Mom had become too serious. What had happened to his darling, fun-loving girl? Mom blamed the change on Dad's cancer. Fighting that for years took its toll.

I'm sure it had. But maybe there was more behind it. Like an incurably broken heart.

Sitting across from Rick, I thought, c.r.a.p! What if he's the cause? What if he can fix it? Can I chance what I have with Seth to give Mom her heart back? What if seeing Rick again will make things worse for her?

Rick asked me all the usual polite questions about my cla.s.ses and college life. "Favorite cla.s.s?"

"HBM 225! Cooking with Chef Steven." I slid a sideways glance at Seth.

He beamed and stroked my bare arm with his fingertips.

"Because of my boy!" Rick's laugh boomed. "That's sweet. Now." He leaned across the table like we were sharing an intimate secret. "What's your real favorite?"

I laughed, cupped my mouth so Seth ostensibly couldn't hear, and whispered, playing along, "HBM 225. Second favorite-microbiology."

Rick leaned back and shook his head, his eyes twinkling. "Good answer. Diplomatic." He addressed Seth. "I like her."

"That makes two of us, Dad."

I furiously tried to think of ways to draw him out and get him to spill details Mom had locked away. But how did I steer him in that direction?

"Your favorite cla.s.s?" I asked Rick, taking the chance that he and Mom had had one together.

"Couldn't name one. There were too many to count-math, history, science, computer programming. I loved them all. d.a.m.n, I was a nerd. I lived for learning."

The way his eyes danced, I couldn't tell how far he was pulling our legs, or how much truth he was telling. Or what he loved learning about. I got the impression he was talking about more than cla.s.swork.

I couldn't imagine him as a nerd. I knew for a fact he wasn't. Not judging from the college dance picture I'd seen of him. Self-perception, though, was a flawed mirror.

"I loved college. Period. The camaraderie of the frat. The new experiences. The girls." He winked at me. "Enjoy what you have left of it. It's the best time of your life!" His smile was infectious.

"s.h.i.+t, Dad," Seth said. "You mean it's all downhill from here?"

"Shut up, kid." Rick grinned. "You're always nailing me on semantics. I should have said 'one of the best times.' Life is a pretty fantastic adventure. But college!" Rick shook his head. "On your own for the first time. Finding yourself. Total freedom. Absolute pressure. Surrounded almost exclusively by your peer group. Won't happen again! Not like that. That's why I say enjoy it. It slips away all too quickly. Like life. Suddenly you look in the mirror and see a middle-aged man looking back." He sounded resigned and suddenly reflective and nostalgic.

"That won't happen to me!" I couldn't let Rick's good mood slip.

He looked at me like, Oh, yes, it will.

"Maybe an old woman, but not an old man." I liked teasing him.

His eyes lit up again. "You've already been hanging out with my boy too long." Rick was clearly teasing. "I'm glad you're here. The boy can't shut up about you. Now I see why."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Dad-"

Rick laughed. "How did you two meet, anyway? In cla.s.s? Through Zach? Isn't he friends with both of you?"

"Dad-"

"What? I don't remember you spilling the deets, Sethie."

"Sethie?" I turned to Seth. "Cute!"

He scowled at his father. "You're trying to embarra.s.s me now, Daddy."