You'll Get Through This Part 2

Stupid Won't.

Fix Stupid.

The Fourth of July. Everything about the holiday was red, white, and blue. My face was red, the clouds were cotton white, and the sky was a brilliant blue. My redness came not from sunburn but humiliation. Denalyn had warned, "Remember, Max, the lake level is low." The depth finder had alerted: thirty feet, then ten, then five, and then three feet. The caution buoys bobbed up and down in the water. But did I listen to Denalyn? Pay attention to the depth radar? Take note of the shallow-water markers?

Who had time for such trivialities? My three teenage daughters and their friends were counting on my navigational skills for a Sat.u.r.day of entertainment. I would not disappoint. Wearing sungla.s.ses and a big-brimmed hat, I hammered the throttle, and off we went. Zoom! Then five minutes later, boom! I had driven the boat onto a sandbar.

Pa.s.sengers lurched forward. I nearly fell out. Seven sets of eyes glared at me. A lesser man might have told everyone to get out and push the boat back into deep water. Not me. Not throttle-happy Max. No sir. I was captain of the outboard, sovereign of the lake. I would debank the boat the manly way. I shoved the throttle again.

The boat didn't budge.

"Max," Denalyn kindly opined, "you messed up." I raised the rudder. It was bent like a dog's ear. This time we had no choice. We pushed until we floated. When I started the engine, the boat vibrated like a three-wheeled jalopy. Our speed peaked out at five miles per hour. As we chug-chugged across the lake and the other vacationers stared and the teenagers sulked, I asked myself, Well, Captain Max, what were you thinking?

That was the problem. I wasn't thinking. Dumb became dumber because I treated a bad decision with a poor, impulsive choice. Forgivable in a boat. But in life?

Joseph was probably in his twenties when he crashed into, of all things, a sandbar of s.e.xual temptation. When his brothers sold him into slavery, they likely a.s.sumed they had doomed him to hard labor and an early death. Instead, Joseph moved up the career ladder like a fireman after a cat. Potiphar, who promoted Joseph in his home, no doubt promoted Joseph among his circle of officials. He boasted about the Midas touch of this bright Hebrew boy who had made him a wealthy man.1 Joseph came to have clout. He could spend and hire, send and receive. Merchants reported to him, and other people noticed him. Most significantly, women noticed him. "Now Joseph was a very handsome and well-built young man" (Gen. 39:6 NLT). A Hollywood head turner, this guy-square jaw, wavy hair, and biceps that bulged every time he carried Mrs. Potiphar's tray. Which was often. She enjoyed the sight of him. "And it came to pa.s.s after these things that his master's wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, 'Lie with me'" (v. 7).

The first lady of the household made a play for the Hebrew slave. "Jo-eeey, how about a little sugar with my coffee?" Wink, wink. As she pa.s.sed him in the hallway, she brushed up against his arm. As he brought dessert to the table, she touched his leg. By the clothes she wore, or didn't wear, she made it clear: "I'm yours for the taking, Joseph." She courted him "day by day" (v. 10). He had plenty of opportunities to consider the proposition. And reasons to accept it.

Wasn't she married to his master? And wasn't he obligated to obey the wishes of his owner, even if the wish was clandestine s.e.x? And it would be clandestine. No one would know. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, right?

Besides, a dalliance with the randy lady would give Joseph a chip in the political poker game, an ally at the top level. The end justified the means. And the means wasn't all that unpleasant. Powerful Potiphar had his pick of women. His wife was likely a jaw-dropper. Joseph didn't lose his manly urges when he lost his coat of many colors. A few moments in the arms of an attractive, willing lover? Joseph could use some relief.

Didn't he deserve some? These were lonely days: rejected by his family, twice bought and sold like livestock, far from home, far from friends. And the stress of managing Potiphar's household. Overseeing the terraced gardens and mult.i.tude of slaves. Mastering the peculiar protocol of official events. Joseph's job was draining. He could have justified his choice.

So can you. You've been jilted and bruised, sold out and turned away. Stranded on the sandbar of bad health, bad credit, bad luck. Few friends and fewer solutions. The hours are long, and the nights are longer. Mrs. (or Mr.) Potiphar comes along with a sultry offer. She slides her room key in your direction.

Or a friend slides a bottle in your direction. A coworker offers some drugs. You can pay some personal bills with company cash or stave off bankruptcy by embezzling funds. Justifications and rationalizations pop up like weeds after a summer rain. No one would know. I won't get caught. I'm only human.

Can we talk candidly for a moment? Egypt can be a cruddy place. No one disagrees with that. But Egypt can also be the petri dish for brainless decisions. Don't make matters worse by doing something you'll regret.

Joseph went on high alert. When Mrs. Potiphar dangled the bait, "he refused" (v. 8). He gave the temptress no time, no attention, no chitchat, no reason for hope. "He did not heed her, to lie with her or to be with her" (v. 10). When her number appeared on his cell phone, he did not answer. When she texted a question, he didn't respond. When she entered his office, he exited. He avoided her like the poison she was.

"[Potiphar] has committed all that he has to my hand," he announced (v. 8). To lie with her would be to sin against his master. How rare this resolve. In a culture that uses phrases like "consenting adults" and "s.e.xual rights," we forget how immorality destroys the lives of people who aren't in the bedroom.

Years ago a friend gave me this counsel: "Make a list of all the lives you would affect by your s.e.xual immorality." I did. Every so often I reread it. "Denalyn. My three daughters. My son-in-law. My yet-to-be-born grandchildren. Every person who has ever read one of my books or heard one of my sermons. My publis.h.i.+ng team. Our church staff." The list reminds me: one act of carnality is a poor exchange for a lifetime of lost legacy.

Dads, would you intentionally break the arm of your child? Of course not. Such an action would violate every fiber of your moral being. Yet if you engage in s.e.xual activity outside of your marriage, you will bring much more pain into the life of your child than would a broken bone.

Moms, would you force your children to sleep outside on a cold night? By no means. Yet if you involve yourself in an illicit affair, you will bring more darkness and chill into the lives of your children than a hundred winters.

And you, single man or woman. You wouldn't desecrate a Bible or make a mockery of a cross. Yet when you have unmarried s.e.x, you disregard one of G.o.d's holy acts. "Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you?" (1 Cor. 6:19).

Actions have consequences. Joseph placed his loyalty above l.u.s.ts. He honored his master . . .

And his Master. Joseph's primary concern was the preference of G.o.d. "How . . . can I do this great wickedness, and sin against G.o.d?" (Gen. 39:9).

The lesson we learn from Joseph is surprisingly simple: do what pleases G.o.d. Your coworkers want to include a trip to a gentleman's club on the evening agenda. What do you do? Do what pleases G.o.d. Your date invites you to conclude the evening with drinks at his apartment. How should you reply? Do what pleases G.o.d. Your friends hand you a joint of marijuana to smoke; your cla.s.smates show you a way to cheat; the Internet provides p.o.r.nography to watch-ask yourself the question: How can I please G.o.d? "Do what is right as a sacrifice to the LORD and trust the LORD" (Ps. 4:5 NCV).

You don't fix a struggling marriage with an affair, a drug problem with more drugs, debt with more debt. You don't fix stupid with stupid. You don't get out of a mess by making another one. Do what pleases G.o.d. You will never go wrong doing what is right.

Thomas made this discovery. He in many ways was a modern-day Joseph. Born in 1899 to a Baptist pastor and a church pianist, Thomas was exposed to music early on. By the age of twelve he was imitating the jazz music of the African American community in the Deep South. In his late teens he went to Philadelphia and then to Chicago, where he played in speakeasies. Somewhere along the way he forgot his faith. He compromised in his lifestyle and turned away from the convictions of his youth. His talent opened the doors, but his conscience wouldn't let him rest. Long nights on the road left him exhausted and weary. A relative urged him to return to G.o.d. At the age of twenty-one, he did. He had an encounter with G.o.d that later led him to write: "My inner-being was thrilled. My soul was a deluge of divine rapture; my emotions were aroused; my heart was inspired to become a great singer and worker in the kingdom of the Lord."2 Young Thomas poured his energy into G.o.d-honoring music. Rhythm and blues met wors.h.i.+p and praise. The result was a brand-new genre of toe-tapping, soul-lifting music. He took a position as a music director at a Chicago church. At the age of twenty-six Thomas met the love of his life and got married. He began a publis.h.i.+ng company and founded the National Convention of Gospel Choirs and Choruses. He worked with some of the greatest singers in the history of gospel music, including Mahalia Jackson. By 1932, Thomas was enjoying the blessings of G.o.d at full throttle: happy marriage, growing ministry, first child on the way. Life was good.

But then the sandbar. One night after singing to a Saint Louis audience, he was handed a Western Union telegram. It read simply: "Your wife just died." She had pa.s.sed away in childbirth. Thomas hurried back to Chicago, where his newborn son died the following day. The musician fell into a creva.s.se of grief. He avoided people and grew angry at G.o.d. "I just wanted to go back to the jazz world I knew so well. I felt G.o.d had done me an injustice. I didn't want to serve Him anymore or write gospel songs."3 He secluded himself, nursing his anger and sorrow. A friend seemed to know what he needed. He took Thomas to a neighborhood music school. That evening as the sun was setting, Thomas sat down at a piano and began to play . . . and pray. He poured out his heart to G.o.d, and what wonderful words they were.

Precious Lord, take my hand, Lead me on, let me stand, I am tired, I am weak, I am worn; Through the storm, through the night, Lead me on to the light: Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home.4 For the rest of his life, Thomas A. Dorsey testified that the Lord healed him that night as he sat at the piano. He went on to pen more than three thousand songs and become one of the most influential Christian songwriters of all time.5 All because he reached out to G.o.d.

Do the same. Turbulent times will tempt you to forget G.o.d. Shortcuts will lure you. Sirens will call you. But don't be foolish or naive. Do what pleases G.o.d. Nothing more, nothing less. And for heaven's sake, think twice before you press that throttle.

CHAPTER 5.

Oh, So

This Is

Boot Camp!

On November 28, 1965, the fighter plane of Howard Rutledge exploded under enemy fire. He parachuted into the hands of the North Vietnamese Army and was promptly placed in the "Heartbreak Hotel," one of the prisons in Hanoi.

When the door slammed and the key turned in that rusty, iron lock, a feeling of utter loneliness swept over me. I lay down on that cold cement slab in my 6 6 prison. The smell of human excrement burned my nostrils. A rat, large as a small cat, scampered across the slab beside me. The walls and floors and ceilings were caked with filth. Bars covered a tiny window high above the door. I was cold and hungry; my body ached from the swollen joints and sprained muscles . . .

It's hard to describe what solitary confinement can do to unnerve and defeat a man. You quickly tire of standing up or sitting down, sleeping or being awake. There are no books, no paper or pencils, no magazines or newspapers. The only colors you see are drab gray and dirty brown. Months or years may go by when you don't see the sunrise or the moon, green gra.s.s or flowers. You are locked in, alone and silent in your filthy little cell breathing stale, rotten air and trying to keep your sanity.1 Few of us will ever face the austere conditions of a POW camp. Yet to one degree or another, we all spend time behind bars.

* My e-mail today contains a prayer request for a young mother just diagnosed with lupus. Incarcerated by bad health.

* I had coffee yesterday with a man whose wife battles depression. He feels stuck (chain number one) and guilty for feeling stuck (chain number two).

* After half a century of marriage, a friend's wife began to lose her memory. He had to take away her car keys so she wouldn't drive. He has to stay near so she won't fall. They had hopes of growing old together. They still may, but only one of them will know the day of the week.

Each of these individuals wonders, Where is heaven in this story? Why would G.o.d permit such imprisonment? Does this struggle serve any purpose? Joseph surely posed those questions.

If Mrs. Potiphar couldn't flirt Joseph into her bed, she would force him. She grabbed for his robe, and he let her have it. He chose his character over his coat. When he ran, she concocted a story. When Potiphar came home, she was ready with her lie and Joseph's coat as proof. Potiphar charged Joseph with s.e.xual a.s.sault and locked him in jail. "And [Joseph] was there in the prison. But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison" (Gen. 39:2021).

Not a prison in the modern sense but a warren of underground, windowless rooms with damp floors, stale food, and bitter water. Guards shoved him into the dungeon and slammed the door. Joseph leaned back against the wall, slid to the floor. "I have done nothing here that they should put me into the dungeon" (40:15).

Joseph had done his best in Potiphar's house. He had made a fortune for his employer. He had kept his ch.o.r.es done and his room tidy. He had adapted to a new culture. He had resisted the s.e.xual advances. But how was he rewarded? A prison sentence with no hope of parole. Since when does the high road lead over a cliff?

The answer? Ever since the events of Genesis 3, the chapter that doc.u.ments the entry of evil into the world. Disaster came in the form of Lucifer, the fallen angel. And as long as Satan "prowls around like a roaring lion" (1 Peter 5:8 NIV), he will wreak havoc among G.o.d's people. He will lock preachers, like Paul, in prisons. He will exile pastors, like John, on remote islands. He will afflict the friends of Jesus, like Lazarus, with diseases. But his strategies always backfire. The imprisoned Paul wrote epistles. The banished John saw heaven. The cemetery of Lazarus became a stage upon which Christ performed one of his greatest miracles.

Intended evil becomes ultimate good.

As I reread that promise, it sounds formulaic, catchy, as if destined for a b.u.mper sticker. I don't mean for it to. There is nothing trite about your wheelchair, empty pantry, or aching heart. These are uphill, into-the-wind challenges you are facing. They are not easy.

But neither are they random. G.o.d is not sometimes sovereign. He is not occasionally victorious. He does not occupy the throne one day and vacate it the next. "The Lord shall not turn back until He has executed and accomplished the thoughts and intents of His mind" (Jer. 30:24 AMP). This season in which you find yourself may puzzle you, but it does not bewilder G.o.d. He can and will use it for his purpose.

Case in point: Joseph in prison. From an earthly viewpoint the Egyptian jail was the tragic conclusion of Joseph's life. Satan could chalk up a victory for the dark side. All plans to use Joseph ended with the slamming of the jail door. The devil had Joseph just where he wanted him.

So did G.o.d.

There in prison, they bruised [Joseph's] feet with fetters and placed his neck in an iron collar.

Until the time came to fulfill his word, the LORD tested Joseph's character. (Ps. 105:1819 NLT)2 What Satan intended for evil, G.o.d used for testing. In the Bible a test is an external trial that purifies and prepares the heart. Just as a fire refines precious metal from dross and impurities, a trial purges the heart of the same. One of the psalmists wrote: For you, O G.o.d, tested us; you refined us like silver.

You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.

You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.

(Ps. 66:1012 NIV) Every day G.o.d tests us through people, pain, or problems. Stop and consider your circ.u.mstances. Can you identify the tests of today? Snarling traffic? Threatening weather? Aching joints?

If you see your troubles as nothing more than isolated ha.s.sles and hurts, you'll grow bitter and angry. Yet if you see your troubles as tests used by G.o.d for his glory and your maturity, then even the smallest incidents take on significance.

A couple of days ago my Sat.u.r.day afternoon turned into a tough test. Denalyn and I had a disagreement. We had agreed to sell our house, but we couldn't agree on a Realtor. I had my opinion, and she had hers. Back and forth we went, neither able to convince the other. A pleasant day turned sour. She retreated into her corner and I into mine.

We have Sat.u.r.day wors.h.i.+p services at our church. When the time came for me to leave and preach, I gave Denalyn a perfunctory good-bye and walked out the door to do G.o.d's work. "We'll deal with this later," I told her.

But G.o.d wanted to deal with me immediately. The distance between my house and the church building is only a five-minute drive. But that is all it took for G.o.d to p.r.i.c.k my conscience with the truth. Shouldn't you be at peace with your wife before you preach to my church?

It was a test. Would I pout or apologize? Would I ignore the tension or deal with it? I can't say I always pa.s.s the tests, but that day I did with flying colors. Before the service began, I called Denalyn, apologized for my stubbornness, and asked for her forgiveness. Later that night we reached a decision on a Realtor, prayed together, and put the matter to rest.

Each day has a pop quiz. And some seasons are final exams. Brutal, sudden pitfalls of stress, sickness, or sadness. Like Joseph, you did your best. Like Joseph, your best was rewarded with incarceration. What is the purpose of the test? Why didn't G.o.d keep Joseph out of prison? Might this be the answer? "For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything" (James 1:34 NLT).

As a boy Joseph was p.r.o.ne to softness. Jacob indulged him, spoiled him. Joseph talked about his dreams and grand ambitions. A bit too full of himself, perhaps. Even in Potiphar's house Joseph was the darling of the estate. Quickly promoted, often noticed. Success came easily. Perhaps pride did as well. If so, a prison term would purge that. G.o.d knew the challenges that lay ahead, and he used Joseph's time in prison to strengthen his servant.

"And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph's hand all the prisoners who were in the prison; whatever they did there, it was his doing" (Gen. 39:22). Talk about a crash course in leaders.h.i.+p! Joseph managed willing servants for Potiphar. But in prison he was a.s.signed unruly, disrespectful, and ungrateful men. Joseph could have cloistered himself in a corner and mumbled, "I've learned my lesson. I'm not running anything for anybody." But he didn't complain, didn't criticize. He displayed a willing spirit with the prisoners.

He was especially kind to a butler and a baker. The butler and the baker, both officers of Pharaoh, were placed in Joseph's care. One morning he noticed deep frowns on their faces. He could have dismissed their expressions. What concern was their sorrow to him? Who cared if they were sullen or bitter? Joseph, however, took an interest in them. In fact, the first recorded words of Joseph in the prison were kind ones: "Why do you look so sad?" (40:7). Abandoned by his brothers, sold into slavery, and unjustly imprisoned, Joseph was still tender toward others. Wouldn't compa.s.sion be a suitable quality for the soon-to-be director of a worldwide hunger-relief program?

G.o.d wasn't finished. Both the baker and the butler were troubled by dreams. In his dream the butler saw a vine with three grape-bearing branches. He pressed the grapes into Pharaoh's cup and gave it to the king. The baker dreamed about bread. Three baskets were on his head, and birds ate the bread in the top basket. Both men sought the counsel of Joseph. And Joseph received an interpretation from G.o.d. Would he share it? The last time Joseph spoke of dreams, he ended up in a dry cistern. Besides, only 50 percent of his revelation was good news. Could Joseph be trusted to share G.o.d's news? If called to stand before Pharaoh, would Joseph accurately convey G.o.d's word? This was a test. Joseph pa.s.sed it. He gave the butler good news ("You'll be out in three days") and the baker bad news ("You'll be dead in three days"). One would get a new start; the other, a noose around the neck.

Test, test, test. The dungeon looked like a prison, smelled like a prison, sounded like a prison, but had you asked the angels of heaven about Joseph's location, they would have replied, "Oh, he is in boot camp."

This chapter in your life looks like rehab, smells like unemployment, sounds like a hospital, but ask the angels. "Oh, she is in training."

G.o.d hasn't forgotten you. Just the opposite. He has chosen to train you. The Hebrew verb for test comes from a word that means "to take a keen look at, to look, to choose."3 Dismiss the notion that G.o.d does not see your struggle. On the contrary, G.o.d is fully engaged. He sees the needs of tomorrow and, accordingly, uses your circ.u.mstances to create the test of today.

Does he not have the authority to do so? He is the Potter; we are the clay. He is the Shepherd; we are the sheep. He is the Gardener; we are the branches. He is the Teacher; we are the students. Trust his training. You'll get through this. If G.o.d can make a prince out of a prisoner, don't you think he can make something good out of your mess?

Remember, all tests are temporary. They are limited in duration. "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials" (1 Peter 1:6 NIV).4 Tests never last forever because this life doesn't last forever. "We were born but yesterday . . . Our days on earth are as transient as a shadow" (Job 8:9 NLT). Some tests end on earth, but all tests will end in heaven.

In the meantime, follow the example of Joseph. Let G.o.d train you. He is watching the way you handle the little jobs. If you are faithful with a few matters, he will set you over many (Matt. 25:21). Joseph succeeded in the kitchen and dungeon before he succeeded in the court. He cared for the butler and baker before he cared for the nations. The reward of good work is greater work. Do you aspire to great things? Excel in the small things. Show up on time. Finish your work early. Don't complain. Let others grumble in the corner of the prison cell. Not you. You know how G.o.d shapes his servants. Today's prisoner may become tomorrow's prime minister. When you are given a task, take it on.

When you see a hurt, address it. What if Joseph had ignored the sadness on the faces of Pharaoh's officers? What if he had focused on his needs and ignored theirs? Would G.o.d still have liberated him from prison? We don't know. But we know this: the kindness of Joseph opened the door of the jail because the baker introduced Joseph to Pharaoh. Compa.s.sion matters to G.o.d. This is the time for service, not self-centeredness. Cancel the pity party. Love the people G.o.d brings to you.

And share the message G.o.d gives to you. This test will become your testimony. "[G.o.d] comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as G.o.d was there for us" (2 Cor. 1:4 MSG).

You didn't sign up for this crash course in single parenting or caring for a disabled spouse, did you? No, G.o.d enrolled you. He has taken the intended evil and rewoven it into his curriculum. Why? So you can teach others what he has taught you. Your mess can become your message.

I like the conversation Bob Benson recounts in his book "See You at the House." One of his friends had a heart attack. Although, at first, the friend wasn't sure he'd survive, he did recover. Months after the surgery Bob asked him: "Well, how did you like your heart attack?"

"It scared me to death, almost."

"Would you like to do it again?"

"No!"

"Would you recommend it?"

"Definitely not."

"Does your life mean more to you now than it did before?"

"Well, yes."

"You and Nell have always had a beautiful marriage, but are you closer now than ever?"

"Yes."

"How about that new granddaughter?"

"Yes. Did I show you her picture?"

"Do you have a new compa.s.sion for people-a deeper understanding and sympathy?"

"Yes."

"Do you know the Lord in a deeper, richer fellows.h.i.+p than you had ever realized could be possible?"