Big Sky Dreams: Sabrina Part 32

258.

"WHERE ARE WE GOING?" Sabrina asked, Rylan leading the way but not saying much.

"You'll see."

It was a gorgeous Sunday afternoon, warm but not hot, and Rylan had shown up at Jeanette's looking for Sabrina. He'd been cryptic about the fact that he was glad to see she'd changed her dress, and then asked her to come along. Too curious not to, Sabrina trailed him, laughing at his pleased smile and trying to get information from the first step.

"Your legs are too long," Sabrina complained at one point, causing Rylan to slow a bit, but Sabrina wasn't done. "Honestly, you're as excited as Franklin when he thinks he's going to fish."

The words were no more out of Sabrina's mouth than she came to dead halt. Rylan stopped with her.

"Come along, Sabrina," Rylan coaxed.

"That's it, isn't it?"

"What?" Rylan asked, working not to smile.

"You're going to teach me to fish."

"Maybe."

259 Sabrina laughed at the wide eyes he gave her and wasn't fooled at all.

"Do I have to touch worms, Rylan Jarvik? Because if that's the case, this little outing is going to be off to a bad start."

"No worms," he said.

Sabrina studied him to see if he was teasing and then slowly followed. He took her to a tree-lined section of creek, and she saw that he'd already been there. Fis.h.i.+ng equipment was set up, as was a quilt to sit on. Sabrina saw a small basket and a jug of tea. She looked at Rylan, who was watching her, and smiled.

"This is very nice."

"What exactly?"

"Well, it looks as though you made a little picnic."

"Just the tea," he said. "The basket is full of worms."

Sabrina laughed as he hoped she would, and the next thing she knew he was showing her how to fish. He took care of the worms, and Sabrina looked the part in fairly short order, but Rylan was the only one to catch anything. An hour pa.s.sed, and she still had no fish. Eventually they washed their hands in the creek and sat and ate the food Rylan had brought, Sabrina peppering him with questions all the while.

"When did you learn to fish?"

"I can't remember exactly, maybe when I was five or six." "Who taught you?"

"My father and oldest brother."

"I thought you only had one brother."

"No I have two older brothers and an older sister."

"You're the baby? I thought your sister was younger." "No, I'm the baby."

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"Two years ago."

"But you all write to each other."

"I hear from my father or mother every week, and from my sister at least once a month."

260 "Your brothers?"

"Usually their wives."

Sabrina nodded, trying to picture them all and wondering what kind of people they were to produce a son like Rylan. She stared at the water rippling along the creek for a while, watching the way it skipped along the rocks, and then looked back at Rylan.

"Does Sybil look like you?" Rylan asked.

"You can tell we're sisters, but her skin is very fair and her eyes are a darker blue."

"Who's taller?"

"She is. She's almost six feet. I think I heard you say you're the tallest?"

"Yes," Rylan smiled. "They still call me their big little brother." Sabrina smiled, wis.h.i.+ng she could meet his family, especially his mother and father.

"I never knew you would be beautiful," Rylan suddenly said. "What do you mean?"

"I was fairly certain G.o.d would bring you along, but I didn't know what you would look like. Your looks weren't important. But here you are, with just the right heart, and beautiful too."

"Just the right heart?"

Rylan nodded but didn't try to explain. He didn't know if he could, and Sabrina didn't seem to need it. He put out his hand, and Sabrina reached as well. They sat in silence for awhile, giving Sabrina room for her thoughts.

If she'd been asked to describe Rylan before today, she would have said he was a big man with a handsome face and square jaw, dark brown hair and eyes, and a wonderful smile and heart. But now she would have to amend that. He didn't have just any heart, it was the right heart. She thought such a statement would be far truer of him than herself.

Sabrina looked down, realizing that he was not just holding her hand but touching her fingers. She watched him finger each one, brus.h.i.+ng his fingers along her smooth nails.

261 "I didn't know anyone could have such perfect hands," Rylan said almost to himself.

"They're a little smaller than yours," Sabrina teased gently.

"Overall, but your fingers are long!" he said, pressing their palms together with studied concentration. With the bottoms of their hands lined up, Rylan could still curl his fingers over the tops of Sabrina's by almost an inch.

While Sabrina was still watching, he pressed a kiss into her palm and folded her fingers over it. He then looked into her eyes.

"I think you're going to have to kiss me, my sweet Sabrina. When the time is right."

"Why is that?"

"I'm not trying to force you into leading, and we have to be careful with our thoughts and actions before we're married, but I want our kissing to be something you're comfortable with."

"What about you? What will make you comfortable?" "Knowing you're comfortable," he said, and saw that the answer frustrated her.

"Rylan, stop taking care of me."

"But that's my job, to take care of you, and because we're not starting in the same place, both knowing nothing, I have to tread a little carefully here."

Sabrina was quiet, and Rylan took her hand again.

"This is not going to be easy. We're going to be finding our way for a longtime. Even after we're married, things will come up that neither of us thought of. And that's all right. We'll handle it as it comes."

"I understand that, but why must I kiss you?" Sabrina asked, finding the idea rather daunting.

"So I know you're ready for that. From that point forward, I'll take the lead."

Sabrina frowned, not sure how to say what she was thinking. "What did I say wrong?"

"Well, it's just that you make it sound like a future thing, as though I don't want to kiss you now."

262 "You wish we had already kissed?"

Sabrina nodded, and Rylan looked surprised but also pleased. "So you won't be afraid if I kiss you at some point?" he double- checked.

"I don't think so."

"But you're not sure?"

Sabrina wrestled the words in her mind for a moment, and then did her best to explain.

"Most of us avoided big men. Naturally they could do the most damage if they grew angry. Or if you wanted them to leave, you were helpless to do anything about it. Sometimes your size can be scary, even though I know you're not any of those men."

"That makes sense," Rylan said, his face thoughtful. "Why would the men get angry?"

"Self hate' was what Zoe, one of my neighbors, called it. Men, usually those who were married and hated themselves for what they'd just done, would grow abusive. They had to take it out on someone. Sometimes they used words, and sometimes they used fists. A big man could put you off the streets for weeks, and few of us could afford that."

"That's why you were so calm when Zeke hit you. You'd been hit before."

"More times than I can remember," Sabrina admitted, glad that most of it was a blur. "I was usually pretty fast if I saw it coming, and since I'm not little, I could defend myself against a man who wasn't that big. Occasionally I was taken by surprise."

"How often did you think about getting away from it?"

"I had no skills, no money saved, and no place to turn, so I tried not to think at all. I tried not to concentrate on what I was doing, or I would never have survived."

"And during this time you had no thoughts of G.o.d?"

"I didn't think He could look on sin, and I knew I was sinning. Danny was the first one to show me I'd been kidding myself. When I realized G.o.d had known all along, I was pretty shook up, but at 263.

the same time I was trying to figure out who Danny and Callie were. I'd never met anyone like them, people who were willing to take me in and give me a chance."

"And this is why you reach out. This is why you don't give up on Crystal and you stayed with Eliza until the end."

Sabrina nodded, knowing that what he said was true.

"I don't wish your past on anyone, Sabrina, but G.o.d can certainly use you now because of it."

"Isn't that true of all of us?"

"I think it is. I remember what you said about hating your sewing lessons. For me it was work on the farm. I would finish as fast as I could so I could find friends to play with, and if my father was looking for a volunteer, my hand would never go up.

"My father finally got through to me concerning the value of what I was learning, and I will always thank him. When I came to Token Creek, one of the first people I met was Pete Stillwell. He offered me work, and I've been there ever since. It's given me a path into the community that's been invaluable. I don't know if there's a soul in town who doesn't know that I'm a pastor. I've had questions come while I was shoeing horses and while I was dripping with sweat in the forge."

"That wouldn't be the case if you were a hypocrite, Rylan," Sabrina said. "You're real with people, and they can trust you."

"I care for people. It's hard at times. Not everyone wants my friends.h.i.+p, but I still care and pray for them."

Silence fell between them for a little while, and then Sabrina asked, "Can we start back before it gets dark? I want to check on Crystal."

"Have you talked to her since you saw the bruise?"

"No, and she's been on my mind."

"Let's head that way. Why don't you carry the tea, the basket, the fis.h.i.+ng pole, and the quilt?"

Sabrina was reaching to do just that when she caught herself. Rylan laughed when she looked at him. Sabrina picked up the basket 264 and the pole and then waited, her look saying much. Rylan folded the quilt and grabbed the jug, still looking very pleased with himself as they started toward Willow Street.

"Nate and Thorn are in the neighborhood," Rylan said when they were almost at Crystal's. "I think I'll say h.e.l.lo."

"All right."

"Stay here. I'll walk you back."

"Why, Rylan," Sabrina worked to sound hurt. "You know my safety is always on my mind."

Rylan dramatically rolled his eyes before saying, "You and I are , going to work on defining 'safe,' Miss Matthews. We need some increased unity on that topic."

The smile Sabrina gave him was nothing short of cheeky as he went on his way and she knocked on Crystal's door. Crystal invited her inside, and Sabrina wasted no time.

"How is your eye?"

"It's fine. I've got a little powder on tonight. You can't even see it." "We can go to supper Tuesday if you want."

Crystal almost mentioned that she couldn't take the night off but changed her mind. Yes, she'd been forced to take nights off with the bruise on her face, but she didn't want Sabrina to stop asking.

"I've got the answer to the question you asked me," Sabrina said.

"What question?" Crystal frowned "About why I prayed in Jesus' name. It's a way to remember when we pray, we need to do it in the name of Christ. Jesus Christ, G.o.d's Son, came to us from the Father, and when we pray to the Father, we ask in His Son's name."

"Who told you this?"