Lady Friday Part 9

"Yes ..."

"Do you reckon Lady Friday will ever let you go?"

"No..."

"Then help me!" urged Leaf. "Is there a telephone anywhere here that connects with the House?"

"I don't..." replied Harrison. He looked around, to check if any Denizens were in earshot, but he and Leaf were alone in the crater, save for the fallen sleepers who lined the sh.o.r.e.

"I don't know. ... " he continued. "I'd have to ask a Denizen. But they'd never tell me. It's pointless anyway. Just help me work and we'll both stay out of trouble."

"Staying out of trouble won't get you back to Earth," said Leaf. "Or help anyone else. I'm frightened by Friday too, but we have to do something! "

"I can't," whispered Harrison. "I.. . I haven't got the guts. Not anymore." "Cover for me, then," said Leaf. "Give me some job that'll let me wander around carrying something."

She didn't mention that this was a trick she'd learned from her friend the s.h.i.+p's Boy Albert, who'd been killed by Feverfew. Skiving, he'd called it. The trick was to find something that looked like it needed to be delivered somewhere else on the s.h.i.+p and then you could walk around for ages with it before someone in authority noticed and took action. Denizens in particular were susceptible to this ruse, as they couldn't imagine someone inventing a task for themselves.

"But if you're caught somewhere you shouldn't be, they'll blame me!" "If you won't help, then you're as bad as She is," said Leaf. "You'll be with the enemy when Arthur gets here."

"He will come? You're sure? Is he really ten feet tall?"

"He will come," said Leaf with a conviction she was far from feeling. "He's .. . he's not quite that tall, but he is .. . um . .. well, he's beaten four Trustees already."

"I guess you could go get pillowcases from the linen store," said Harrison. He was weakening, Leaf could tell. "But that won't help you find a phone. Like I said, you'd have to ask a Denizen...."

"Yes," said Leaf. "I have an idea about who to ask. Where is the linen store?" Harrison didn't answer; instead, his face twisted up in indecision.

"Remember, helping me is helping Arthur, and he's your only chance of ever getting away from here," said Leaf. "It's now or never."

"I'll do it " said Harrison. "I mean, okay! I'll do it. Come on I'll show you the way to the linen store. It's at Circle Three, Twenty-five Past."

"What about them?" asked Leaf quietly, pointing to the quiet bodies on the sh.o.r.e.

153.

"Martine takes them from here," said Harrison. "She'll come out when the sun goes down."

"Who's Martine? A Denizen?"

"No, she's human too. She's been here longer than me. Crazy as a loon, though. She only works nights. Not that night here is anything like home. There's three moons and they're big . . . and they change color."

"Maybe she's worth talking to," said Leaf. "Where would I find her?"

"Circle Six, Half-Past," muttered Harrison. He started walking back to the door where they'd entered the crater. "But she is crazy. Come on!"

Leaf followed him, but not without a glance back at the sleepers.

"Also, I need a drink. Have you got human food and, drink, and uh, a toilet I can use? And tea?"

"I get basic food and there are four restroom facilities for us mortals throughout the establishment," said Harrison. "But I don't have any tea. The Denizens love the stuff and they keep it for themselves. I don't have any coffee either, so you'll have to make do with water."

"Oh, I don't want the tea to drink myself," said Leaf. "I was thinking about using it to trade with a Denizen. I'll have to think of something else."

Just after she spoke, a thought did occur to her and she bent down and picked up a small stone, one of the few that lay around the smooth floor of the crater. "By the way, do you know where that Denizen Feorin hangs out?" Leaf asked.

"There aren't many Denizens here," said Harrison. "Maybe fifty altogether. Most are up on Circle Ten from Ten to Noon to Ten Past. I guess they have rooms there. They supposedly patrol around as well, but I don't often see them on my rounds which reminds me, I'll have to get started again soon. Got to keep everyone turned. ... "

He sighed and bent his head, and the small spring in his step that had come on when he agreed to help Leaf disappeared, giving way to his usual depressed shuffle. Leaf followed silently, her head full of plans and schemes, most of which she had to admit were totally impractical. She kept coming back to just three basic aims, but was entirely unsure how she might achieve them.

First, find a telephone to the House and call Arthur. Second, find Aunt Mango and get her away from wherever she is. Three, hide out with Mango somewhere until help comes.

Actually, there were four basic aims, Leaf thought, and the fourth was perhaps the most strident in her mind.

Keep away from Lady Friday.

As Harrison had predicted, they met no one on the way 155.

to the linen store. This was a chamber almost identical to the room where Leaf had found the Skinless Boy's pocket. It brought back unpleasant memories and also made her think, because the linen was all branded with the name of the same laundry service that served East Area Hospital.

"All this stuff gets washed back on Earth, right? Not here." "I guess so," said Harrison. "I dump the dirty sheets and stuff in a chute and get the fresh linen here. ... "

"So someone must take it back and forth," said Leaf. "There must be a way between here and Lady Friday's hospital back on Earth."

"If there is, you need to have her power to use it," said Harrison.

Leaf shook her head.

"No way Lady Friday takes the dirty laundry to Earth and carries back a load of fresh sheets herself! So there must be a way .. . but maybe it's some kind of sorcery. It's worth checking out, though."

"I have to get back to the people stores .. . I mean wards," said Harrison nervously. He was backsliding already. "Axilrad might come looking. Don't stay away too long. You'd better come and help me fairly soon, otherwise "

156.

"You go, then," said Leaf. "I'll find you whenneed you."

"Don't do .. . well, don't. ... " Harrison's voice trailed off. He looked at the floor, scuffed his feet, and left.

Leaf looked around the linen store till she found a loose bolt in one of the metal shelves. She pulled it out and used it to scratch some invented letters onto the stone from the crater, in an effort to make it look interesting and strange. Perhaps even sorcerous.. ..

At the same time, she practiced a rhythmic, barking cough.

"Ab-woof, ah-woof, ah-woof."

157.

CHAPTER Thirteen

Arthur stretched out his arms and drew his hands into the sleeves of his new paper-patchwork coat, so Pirkin could cut the cuffs to the right length. The Denizen was using a huge, old pair of bronze scissors, which should have made Arthur nervous, but he was feeling quite relaxed. It was very warm inside the hut on the raft, thanks to a fridge-sized porcelain stove that was sitting on a ten- by-ten-foot slab of red stone deeply chiseled with huge incomprehensible letters. There was no fire visible through the stove's smoky quartz door, nor had Arthur seen it fed with any fuel, but there had been smoke outside.

New, dry clothes were also a good thing. Arthur, like the others, was now completely dressed (from underclothes up) in garments made from paper or parchment or soft hide, all with lines and lines of writing. He'd expected the clothes to be itchy or uncomfortable, especially the paper coat, but they were surprisingly soft and comfortable. He'd also thought they'd be no use outside in the wet snow, but Pirkin had explained that they would shed water. It was one of the Paper Pushers' few unique powers, to make clothes that would survive work on the ca.n.a.l and be proof against both textually charged water and the normal kind.

Arthur was also pleased because the raft was moving along the ca.n.a.l at quite a high speed, perhaps twenty miles an hour, fast enough to generate quite a wash behind it. So he was moving towards his objective if indeed Lady Friday's Scriptorium was his objective. He was having some thoughts about the situation and what he should do, and was weighing whether he should discuss matters with Suzy and Fred.

They are my friends, he thought. But they are also bound to serve the Piper. Ugham is a good bloke, but ultimately he has to serve the Piper too. If we get to the Key, Ugham would have to try to take it for the Piper... or rather, call the Piper in, since he wouldn't be able to take it himself. I wonder if he has some means of contacting the Piper. . ..

Pirkin finished cutting the sleeves and took up a long needle and some red thread, swiftly hemming the cuffs to finish the process. Arthur was the last to be outfitted, as he had ordered, unconsciously following the ethos of the Army of the Architect, that an officer must look after his or her soldiers first. Suzy and Fred, already resplendent in their typographical coats, had gone outside to make sure the boar-unicorn Nithling was not somehow pursuing 159-*

them, Ugham following them like a large and faithful hound shepherding some toddlers. The Newnith had been reluctant to change his uniform, but had complied when Pirkin explained that the textually charged currents and other sorceries in the ca.n.a.l would actively try to drown anyone not wearing the correct clothing, as made by the Paper Pushers.

The Piper and Sat.u.r.day will go for the Scriptorium, thought Arthur. One of them will almost certainly get there before I do, and they will also probably fight over it and try to stop each other. But if I can find Part Five of the Will, it doesn't matter who has the Fifth Key; the Will can help me get it. Particularly since I don't trust Lady Friday anyway. So I should try to find the Will first. Though it might also be in the Scriptorium ... I wish Dr. Scamandros were here to do that spell with the gold leaf....

"Cup of hot water?" asked Pirkin, interrupting Arthur's reverie. "We haven't got any tea. Not anymore. We had some on the wharf, but..."

"Sure." Though Arthur was now quite warm, a cup of hot anything would be welcome. It might help banish the memory of the cold and would help if he had to go outside, where it was still snowing. "Are the other Paper Pushers coming in? They don't need to do any poling now, do they?"

160 .

"We're in the up seven-six current now, and the ca.n.a.l is a full twenty fathoms deep," said Pirkin. He was quite agreeable now that he had given up trying to prevent Arthur and the others from boarding the raft. "But someone has to watch the raft, make sure nothing falls off or sinks, to upset the trim. Besides, they're not so used to strangers, being as how they're only ordinary members of the a.s.sociation and not Branch Secretary like I am."

Arthur gratefully took the steaming enamel cup he was offered.

"Thanks. So we're in an up-current? How long will it take to get to the Middle of the Middle? And can we keep going from there to the Top Shelf? "

"We'll reach the Lower Sky by morning," said Pirkin. "Then it depends how long to get through the skylock "

"The Lower Sky? Skylock?" asked Arthur. "What do you mean? I thought the Middle House was all one big mountain."

"It is and it isn't," said Pirkin. He took a swig of his hot water. "Ah, that's the stuff. Nearly as good as tea, leastways if you haven't got any tea. Where was I? Oh, the Lower Sky. There's a sky above the Flat, that's the Lower Sky. And there's a sky between the Middle of the Middle and the Top Shelf, that's the Middle Sky. And then there's a sky right up top, I suppose. Least there's clouds and 161.

suns and suchlike up above the Top Shelf. Top Sky, that would be."

"And the skylock?"

"Where the ca.n.a.l goes through," said Pirkin. "Big gate that slides across. Oh, it's a right pain to open, I tell you. Needs a hundred ordinary members of the a.s.sociation on the windla.s.s and a couple of Branch Secretaries, at least, to do the counting. Risky business too. Long way to fall if you step off the ca.n.a.l side."

"So how long will it take to get through?"

"Depends, don't it?" said Pirkin, with a shrug that spilled hot water on himself. He didn't seem to notice, though it would have badly scalded a human. "If there's enough rafts queued on either side, it might already be open, or we can open it fast-like."

"And once we're in the Middle of the Middle, how long to get through there and on to the Top Shelf? " asked Arthur.

"Couple of days," said Pirkin. "Depends on cargo. Got to stop at Burinberg and pick up. Unless everything's gone to pieces."

"Gone to pieces? How exactly?"

Pirkin looked at Arthur with surprise.

"Well, you're part of it, aren't you? Oddkin's raft dropped us some letters when he pa.s.sed.... Where are they now?"

He fished around in his pockets, drawing out numerous folded papers, till he found what he was looking for and handed them to Arthur.

"First one said Lady Friday's nicked off somewhere and that everyone who wants to should take a holiday and experiencing's allowed," said Pirkin. "Second one says Lady Friday's handed over to Superior Sat.u.r.day, work must go on as usual, experiencing's not allowed, obey Sat.u.r.day's officers and so on and so forth."

Arthur quickly scanned the two letters, which had the colorful seals of the relevant Trustee. The first did indeed confirm that Lady Friday was going away, but it did not specifically mention abdication or handing over the Key or her authority in the Middle House.

The second, from Superior Sat.u.r.day, was much more explicit. Arthur read it in full.

Zo all Denizens ofauthority in theMiddleMouse, {jrecti fig Zhe jCady Friday, former Zrustee of the Architect, has abdicated and resignedfrom all authority within theMiddleMouse. Mer place been a.s.sumed by JCady Sat.u.r.day, Superior Sorcerer of the UpperMouse.

163 .

All Denizens In the Middle Mouse must acknowledge the authority Superior Sat.u.r.day and her officers.

]fou are instructed tofollow the orders ofany of Superior Sat.u.r.day's officers, such orders to take precedence over any standing orders, orders, traditions, commonplace actions, rituals, regular tasks, thing else that may conflict with said orders or instructions.

All Denizens of theMiddle Mouse will continue with their regular work. Zhe practice known as "experiencing " is forbidden, and the sion of a (< p="">

All Denizens of theMiddleMouse are to cooperate with the officers, troops, and auxiliaries of the UpperMouse. Some auxiliaries may to be Nithlings. Zhey are not Nithlings as such, but auxiliaries in service of the UpperMouse.

All Denizens of theMiddleMouse must immediately report to nearest officerfrom the UpperMouse if they should observe, notice, or become cognizant of any information concerning the whereabouts intentions ofthedangerous outlawArthur Penhaligon, self-styled Rightful Meir to something or other All Denizens of the Middle Mouse must immediately report to nearest officer from the UpperMouse if they should observe, notice, or become cognizant of any information concerning the whereabouts intentions of the rebelknown as the Piper, or the malcontent known Mariner (aka "the Captain").

164 .

All Piper's children in the Middle Mouse are, as of now, outlawed and must be destroyed. Coyal Denizens of the MiddleMouse are called upon to attack Piper's children whenever and wherever they are Evidence in theform of their detached heads should be retained in suitable sacks for presentation to officers of the UpperMouse.

All creatures known as Raised Rats are, as of now, outlawed must be destroyed. Coyal Denizens of theMiddleMouse are called to attack Raised Rats whenever and wherever they are seen. Evidence the form of their detached tails should be retained in suitable sacks presentation to officers of the UpperMouse.

Allandanypossessions ofany captured Raised Rat or Piper's Child must also be retained in separate labelled stacks. Should any Raised or Piper's Child befound to be in possession of a letter or any doc.u.ment, said doc.u.ment must be delivered with utmost haste to any officer UpperMouse.

order ofjCady Sat.u.r.day, Superior Sorcerer of the UpperMouse, with tacit approval ofCord Sunday Arthur frowned. The letter had the seal of Lady Sat.u.r.day, a gold disc attached by rainbow-hued wax that constantly changed color .. . but it did not have Sunday's seal. And what did "tacit" mean?

I've got to find out more about Lord Sunday, thought 165.

Arthur. He'd been thinking this for some time. All the things that are done against me seem to be organized by Sat.u.r.day, and Sunday is just in the background... or is he?

He dismissed the thought for the moment. He had to concentrate on what was in front of him right now.

"Have you read all of this second letter?" Arthur asked Pirkin cautiously. His hand fell to the Fourth Key at his side. He hadn't put his belt back on, but he'd made sure it was never out of reach.

"I read 'em both," said Pirkin. "But like Oddkin said, it's just a load of old jetsam. Kill Piper's children? Kill Raised Rats? That's not something the a.s.sociation would stand for, I tell you. That Sat.u.r.day ain't got no rights here. She can do whatever she wants in the Upper House, I suppose, but no one here is going to do stupid stuff just because she says so."

He paused to take another sip of his hot water, then added, "Or almost n.o.body. I s'pose those toffee-noses up on the Top Shelf might want to look good. They're always going on about how close they are to the Upper House anyhow. Top of the Middle just means bottom of the Upper' they like to say. Most of 'em failed school there, I reckon. They should stick to fixing up records like they're supposed to."