Mail-order Bridegroom Part 69

Kate knew she was losing control. And she was afraid that the whole world especially Rebecca and Silas knew it.

She felt guilty for trying to deceive them and at the same time knew that, even if she was, she wasn't deceiving herself.

There was more to this incipient panic she was feeling than simple deception and the resultant guilt it entailed. There was the way she was reacting to Damon.

The awareness. The tension. The desire.

All day no, all week she had tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away.

She had thought herself immune to such reactions after Bryce.

Heaven knew she ought to be!

But she wasn't.

It was foolishness what she was feeling for Damon Alexakis. It could only cause trouble. He wasn't interested in her. And even if he was staying married to her when he no longer had to in order to keep Marina at bay, he wasn't staying married to her because he loved her!

It was simply that he'd look like an idiot if he admitted it was all a sham now.

He certainly wouldn't want to get involved with her.

And for that matter, Kate McKee, she told herself firmly, kicking the sand, you don't want to get involved with him!

Alexakis.

What7 She stopped dead, the word echoing in her mind.

Alexakis, the tiny voice repeated insistently. You're not Kate McKee any more. You're Kate Alexakis now. Damon Alexakis's wife.

Kate shut her eyes and shook her head. She didn't want to think about that.

Still, within minutes she would be upon him again. She would have to decide how to act.

Sinking down in the sand, she drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them and tried to come to terms with things. But it was no use. The afternoon was not made for thinking.

In New York she could have done it. In New York she was remarkably clear-headed and sensible. There she could have shut everything else out of her mind-- the horns and sirens, the suffocating heat reflecting off the buildings, the diesel fumes and car exhaust--and sorted out her relations.h.i.+p with Damon easily.

Not here. Here the island breeze teased her hair, like a lover's fingers loosening it from the knot she'd fixed at the back of her head. Here the sun kissed her back and she shut her eyes. She leaned back, lifting tier face towards the warmth" imagining how it would be if this really were a honeymoon, if she had really come here with a man who loved her.

She remembered Bryce. Always she remembered Bryce.

But somehow here the disaster that had been her marriage seemed remote and ineffectual. It had hurt her once; it had nearly destroyed her. But now its power over her seemed oddly lessened.

Here in this island paradise that, until a few days ago, Kate had never known existed, she felt the pain fading. She closed her eyes and saw, not Bryce's fair good looks and handsome sneering face, but another face this one darker, not quite so cla.s.sically hand- some and she remembered the touch of Damon's lips, their hint of promise, of magic, of hope.

She felt tired. So very tired.

She had worked so hard for so long. She hadn't really taken a day off since Bryce had walked out on her. There hadn't been time to. She'd fought to develop her business, to make her contacts, to hold off her father. She put in hours and days and months and, now that she thought about it, years.

And never once had she flagged. Not even for a weekend. The only timesshe'd left the city had been to see to home situations. There'd never been a lazy Sunday in the Hamptons or a weekend antiquing with friends in BucksCounty. There'd never been a Christmas ski trip or a jaunt to Vermont in theautumn to see the leaves. There'd always been work to do. So very much work.

And anyway, it had helped keep the memories of Bryce and her foolishness at bay.

It had been so long since she'd relaxed like this. So long since she'd stretched but on the sand and let the earth and the sun warm her body. So very, very long since she'd felt as settled and comfortable. The sound of the surf soothed her, lulled her, made her smile.

Of course she would have to sort out what to do about Damon Alexakis soon.

But first if only for a few minutes she had to close her eyes.

CHAPTER SIX.

"You stay out much longer, I be servin' you for dinner 'stead of the lobster."

The words startled Kate out of a sound sleep and she jerked up to see Teresa

standing beside her on the beach, shaking her head and smiling down at her.

"You be cooked, Mrs Kate," she said, her tone a mixture of disapproval anddismay.Wincing as she touched her now rosy forearm, Kate nodded."I fell asleep. What time is it?""Dinnertime. Mr Damon didn't know where you were. Them sisters of his."

She shook her head, irritated.

"I thought maybe I take a look."

"What about Damon's sisters?"

"They been callin' all day. One problem an' another. Can't leave the poor

man alone even on his honeymoon. I don' blame you for going' for a walk,

listenin' to all that.""Er--yes. I didn't realise it was so late. I only meant to close my eyes."But it had been two hours at least. And she hadn't stirred.

She had dreamed, though, she remembered that much. They had been incredibledreams. s.e.xy dreams. About Damon.If it were possible to turn a deeper shade of red she would have done so.She shoved a hand through dishevelled hair and scrambled to her feet.

"Thanks for waking me, Teresa. Do I have time for a shower?""Depends," Teresa said darkly, 'if that Electra ever get off the phone. Youdon't got to let him spend all his time with them, you know. "

"I know," Kate said."Ah. good. He finished." Teresa grinned."I serve dinner now. You can shower later. Mr Damon be happy to help you clean up later, I bet."

Kate didn't want to think about that. If Bryce had found her wanting, Damon

definitely would, all dreams to the contrary. There was no point incomplicating matters further over a few hormonal urges.Damon wanted it to be business. So did she.She hurried up the beach following Teresa's broad back, trying to put her hair into some semblance of order as she went.

Damon was standing on the veranda. He looked ha.s.sled and harried and no more

rested than when Kate had left. She felt an unreasoned burst of sympathy for him.

Damon looked her up and down, taking in her rumpled, sweaty clothes, sunburnt

face and tousled hair.

"What happened to you?"

All sympathy fled.

"I fell asleep on the beach."

"Stupid thing to do."

"I didn't do it intentionally." She waited until Teresa had disappeared into

the kitchen and added,

"I got tired of playing the devoted newlywed in town. I was trying to giveus some s.p.a.ce. And you some sleep, if you'll recall.""Sleep? There's a laugh. I didn't even get my head near a pillow. I didn't b.l.o.o.d.y get a chance!"

Teresa reappeared carrying a bowl of succulent lobster stew and with obvious

effort Damon modulated his tone as she dished it out.

"My sisters called," he grumbled.

"They miss you that much?"

"They miss coming to me for help at every turn." He shoved a hand through

already tousled hair.

"Pandora is stuck in Vegas without a dime. Electra's show

closed. Chloe is in Dares Salaam and needs me to wire her some money to get home. Arete quitat Strahans', came back to our place and promptly got into a fight withStephanos about who was running things. They both called me. Twice." He leaned his elbows on the table and rested his head in them, then lifted hisbloodshot gaze to meet hers.

"I ought to fire both of them."

So, why don't you? "

He looked momentarily startled, then ignoring her, went on. The last one was

Daphne trying to unload a truckload of chinchillas on me. And you. ""WW?"Damon rubbed a hand across his face."Don't ask." He slid back in his chair and closed his eyes as Teresa left again.

"G.o.d, I'm tired."

"You look like h.e.l.l."

"Thank you very much."

"Always glad to be of help." If she'd really been his wife in more than

name, she'd have been far more sympathetic. She'd have told him he worked far too hard and let his family take far too much advantage of him. But in the circ.u.mstances, she had no right to.

In the circ.u.mstances, it was easier to be flippant, and safer, too.

Fixing her eyes firmly on her plate, she dug in. It was a savoury, succulent

blend of lobster, potatoes and vegetables, and it went a long way towards making things right with the world as far as Kate was concerned.

"It's very good," she said.