Havemercy. Part 15

I leaned closer to him, mainly because I liked the twitchy look he got at the corner of his eye that meant he was trying to watch me and trying not to look like he was watching me all at the same time. It only made him look jittery as a rabbit, or worse, like he couldnat make up his f.u.c.king mind. I just stretched my arms, letting him know I was comfortable as anything and perfectly happy to stay there all night until he had some kind of a fit right then and there and in front of me, even though deep down, I was bristling with fire.

Predictably, it was him who cracked first.

aIad have thought,a he said, voice clipped and cool, like he obviously thought he could fool me into thinking he was the same, athat my presence here wouldnat have stopped you from pursuing your acquaintance . Magritte, I believe it was? Or was that Isobel?a aMagritte or Isobel,a I said, aI didnat think you pillow-biters noticed that sort of thing.a He looked at me then, eyes green even in the dark and spitting-mad, like he wanted to hit me but was too smart to go through with it. Whatever Iad got into my head just now concerning the professor hit me real sweet and real deep, the way a particular drop did a number on my belly when I was riding Havemercy, but I wasnat averse to hitting him backa"and harder.

Being a Mollyrat, he was too smart to hit someone bigger than he was, and better at fighting to boot. Dirty f.u.c.king sneaka"just like the rest of them.

aWrong, huh?a I guessed. aYou must have had your eye on one of them, then.a I wasnat getting right in his face, just reminding him that I could. aWhich was it then? The blonde? aCause she screams like you wouldnat believe, only itas the dark oneas got this trick she does with her tongue, likea"a aDonat,a he said, eyes bright, jaw as hard as he could make it. aSpare me the sordid details. No one cares as much as you think.a aAs much as I think? Hereas what I think.a I changed tack swift as if head flicked a switch, pus.h.i.+ng forward like you had to in a raid acause once youad touched off from the ground there wasnat no going back. aI think you donat have any idea who Iam talking about, that I could name them all and you still wouldnat know, because you werenat looking at a one of them no matter how much t.i.t they were showing.a aIad be surprised if you could name one of them, either,a he said, aconsidering your embarra.s.sing display earlier.a aShe didnat seem to mind,a I pointed out. The whole thing reminded me a little of that first night when Iad put him to the wall. The professor got like a wildcat when he was cornered, and it wasnat like Iad forgot the fact but more like I had to remember it a bit every time it happened. aWhy, do you?a aActually,a the professor faltered, aI think that this whole little performance was for my benefit, that you didnat care one way or another about being with that girl. You only cared about my seeing it and what my reaction would be.a Something sparked in his eyes like metal sc.r.a.ping metal.

aDo you?a I asked, soft and dangerous.

I leaned in close and his face changed, disgust and confusion and fear in his eyes. His lips parted halfway like he was going to protest or scream or something, and I felt a hot spike of victory hit me low in the belly.

It was better than a dive.

Swift as changing direction to find the right current, I knew exactly how I was going to play this one out. He was no different from anybody else I knew, and, given enough time, everyone saw reason.

aWhat kind of a brainless f.u.c.king idiot would say something like that?a I snapped. aYou think youare so smart, better than every man-f.u.c.king-jack of us, but I can see right through you. A Mollyratas always a Mollyrat, no matter how far he runs.a His eyes flew open again, as though whatever head been expecting, it definitely hadnat been that. I smiled, acause I had him now exactly where I wanted him, and for all his cleverness I didnat think head figured it out yet.

aYeah,a I said, like Iad been planning on it all along. Let him wonder how long Iad known his little secret for, acause the look on his face told me I was right, no matter what he said after. aThatas right. Youare that f.u.c.king easy for me to read. Donat think all of them in there wouldnat know it if I let it slip, that it would be so hard to f.u.c.king believe with the way you walk, all nervous and small. You stink of it.a aI donat care if they know,a he began.

I grinned, too certain now to stop. aLiar,a I said, rolling the word fat and sweet off my tongue.

It caught him by surprise, and for a moment his mouth was as weak and soft as a womanas. Then, he must have remembered who I wasa"where he wasa"and his jaw hardened, chin tilting up in useless, stupid defiance.

aSo what if I am,a he snapped right back, that suicide streak in him showing itself, and not for the first time. It was a miracle he survived Molly, acting so proud as all that. aYouare a arat yourself.a aAnd Iam an airman,a I said, feeling dangerous. aWhat medals do you have? What lives have you saved? Speaking fifteen useless languages and being able to argue your way out of a paper baga"real f.u.c.king special.a His cheeks were bright red now and his eyes sparking bright, like Iad lit up a fire inside him. aWell, we canat all be upstanding citizens and heroes like you. Some of us werenat so lucky.a aLucky?a I laughed at that, sharp and barking, and he drew back again; maybe he thought I was going to hit him, or maybe the sound was just so f.u.c.king awful he thought I already had. Didnat matter to me either way, so long as he was knocked down a peg or fifteen by someone who could make sure he stayed down. No one else had volunteered for the job, and I was only too glad to take it on.

aYou get to do whatever you want,a the professor returned, shaking, but holding his ground. aYou think youare above the common laws of courtesya"decencya"basic humanity. You take what you want and donat think about anyone elsea"and it isnat that youare stupid, either. Youare like every other Mollyrat who never bothered to learn beyond the gutters. You think that because your mother raised you in the streets, you can live by their rulesa"a That was when I grabbed him by the collar and threw him up against the railing. His lower back hit against it and his breath whistled sharp between his teeth, and then we stared at each other for a long time, that same metallic sc.r.a.ping and flas.h.i.+ng pa.s.sed between us.

aWeare not so different as you think,a he said finally, just like Have. It was like he had some kind of death wish.

aIf you believe that,a I said, showing all my teeth, athen youare stupider than you look. If you thought I was watching you and putting on a show for youa"maybe you were right. But youad better keep just as close an eye on me,a I added, tightening my grip at his throat, aif you know whatas good for you.a aYouare no more than a common bully,a he whispered, voice trembling. Iad shaken him for good now, and it was deeper than just the physical side, my knuckles bruising his throat and his back aching for all his so-called defiance.

aI donat care what I am, so long as youare afraid of me,a I said, and dropped him neat as that.

He really was that easy, that touchy about where he came from. Seeing as how he was no more than a stuck-up f.u.c.king aVersity boy, I shouldave picked up on it sooner; maybe I couldave spared us all the trouble of having him teach us how to channel our emotions good and proper.

The one thing I could say for him was how long he lasteda"but then again, being from Molly, it wasnat any wonder he was a tenacious little b.a.s.t.a.r.d. People from Molly tended to hold on good and long and hard to whatever it was they had, seeing as how quick it tended to get s.n.a.t.c.hed away from them once they were down past the Mollyedge, where everything was free game to them as could take it fast enough.

I took a handful of his hair right at the back of his neck and tugged his head back. Tilted up toward mine, his face was hard, like maybe Iad pushed him too far, but I could see something still struggling in his mouth, bitter and desperate like surrender.

aYeah,a I said finally, when I could be sure he was listening. aI thought so.a Then I turned on my heel and left him there without any warning, sagged against the balcony and limp as a forgotten pair of gloves. I needed some time to think about what had just happened, and what in bastionas name I was going to even do about it.

CHAPTER NINE.

ROYSTON.

According to Adamo, we really were winning the war, and while I was grateful for my reprieve from country life, the facts didnat exactly add up. There was a bad taste in my mouth about the entire business, and it wasnat just the bloodless, bodiless white wine that seemed to have come back into fas.h.i.+on during my absence from the court.

aDisgusting, isnat it,a Adamo said. aLike drinking some horseas p.i.s.s.a aI canat be sure if your comparison is entirely apt,a I replied as we clinked our long-stemmed flute gla.s.ses together in a toast to our similar tastes, abut Iall take your word for it.a aWh.o.r.eson,a Adamo said fondly. aIt was a turn of phrase.a aOh, yes, of course it was,a I said.

Together we downed our horse p.i.s.s in one great go, but I still had no better bearings on what the Esar thought he was doing. If we were winning the war, then there was no reason for him to have called me back to court because I was needed on the front. It was possible that he wanted all his forces for the last great victory, but then why was the entire city engulfed in celebration over a war we hadnat yet exactly won? His behavior was even more baffling than usual, and I sensed some smoke screen to the entire display. The Esar himself was conspicuous by his absence for most of the night, but that in and of itself wasnat entirely unusual, as he usually left it to the Esarina, who was very fond of fine parties, to devote her full attention toward them.

There were other faces, tooa"ones that I was expecting to see, a few I was expecting to have to suffer stultifying conversation witha"that, though I was grateful not to be afflicted with their presence, made me more uncomfortable in their absence than the awful wine we were being served.

Something was happening this night, something very private, and as far as I could tell it pointed very much against our guaranteed victory.

For example: Both Margraves of thaIncalnion were missing. And as they were of the oldest magician blood in all of Volstov, venerated scholars in their own right and never the sort to miss a party, I was immediately suspicious. As I began to catalog the list of those missinga"Barebone of Barrowright Abbey, Wildgrave Marshall from the Valence, and velikaia Antoinette were the most noticeable; I donat believe Iad ever been to a party of the Esaras at which any one of them was not in attendance, much less all of them absent the same nighta"I felt more and more uncomfortable. There was always the likelihood that Antoinette, at least, had left early as she always did. It was a possibility, however slight, that some of them had found other parties more agreeable, but it didnat seem likely. Not all of them at once. There was something being kept from all of us, and the Esar seemed to feel that, if he put on a grand enough show, wead be too busy drinking, dancing, gossiping, and listening to the musica"not to mention watching in rapt fascination our friends and enemies disappear in odd couplings onto the balconiesa"that wead none of us realize what was really happening.

aDonat you think thereas something a little strange about all this?a I asked Adamo, turning down the truffles as they pa.s.sed me by.

aWhat, like how weare here and all but setting off fireworks, and n.o.bodyas actually handed the head of the Ke-Han warlord over to thaEsar yet?a Adamo asked.

I was grateful for his straightforward manner. aExactly.a aOr maybe your being recalled like weare all in desperate need of you,a Adamo added. aAnda"no offense, your Talentas been real useful, so donat take this any way toward being personala"but youare not the only oneas been recalled, either.a aYes, I saw Caius,a I said. aI never thought head be . . . invited back. Or come back, even if the Esar paid him, for that matter.a aAnd thereas Berhane, too,a Adamo added.

aIs there really?a I asked. aBastion. Something is going on.a aNot necessarily. ThaEsaras the kind of man who likes things finished once and for all, and if the waras heading in that direction, then he could just be calling back all his best and brightest for the final push,a Adamo finished. aStop sending those truffles away.a aMy apologies.a I paused for a moment, both to think over the information as well as to summon the young man bearing the platter of truffles back to our side. Adamo plucked one off the careful arrangement of powdered sugar and lace and chewed slowly on it. I didnat altogether agree with his logic, though what he said about the Esar made sense. He was that sort of man. aWhatas your count on whoas missing?a I asked at length.

aFifteen,a Adamo said.

aDoes that number include Antoinette?a aSixteen,a Adamo revised. aAnd Iall tell you another thing, only this is about the Ke-Han. Theyare not even fighting like they used to.a The musicians started up a cheery waltz and there was a commotion of partners being changed and fans being snapped open to flutter widely in front of flushed bosoms from which most of the powder had been worn off by perspiration. I cast an unhappy look out over the crowd, then turned my full attention back to Adamo. aI donat see how that entirely fits in with our present collection of evidence,a I began.

aMost men about to get their tails beat in a game theyave been fighting for over a hundred yearsa"a game so important that losing itas going to cost them their livesa"donat just give up fighting like all the windas been knocked out of them,a Adamo explained. aNo, they fight like dogs. They go for the throat, the belly. They donat just lie down in the sand and call for their mothers.a aI take your point,a I replied. aMy mistake.a One of the members of the bastion pa.s.sed too close to us then for me to be entirely comfortable with his purposesa"it would have been my own fault if our conversation were overheard by all and sundry, with us discussing it in the middle of the Esaras own ballrooma"and Adamo cleared his throat, showing me head been thinking the same thing. This conversation was best left to another time and another place, and when wead not been drinking so much horse p.i.s.s, either.

aItas good to see you again,a Adamo said. aAnd looking so healthy. For a while your letters had me thinking I needed to fly in there and pull you out myself.a aAs das.h.i.+ng as that would have been,a I replied dryly, aI did manage to take care of myself.a a aCourse you did,a Adamo said, as if he didnat believe me for a single second. aAnd the new, ah, apprentice you brought with you tonight had nothing to do with it?a aBastion,a I swore, a little too loud for propriety. aHal.a aI think he was in the bathroom, last I checked, having a fascinating conversation with Raphaela"heas one of mine, flies Nataliaa"about third-edition gold prints,a Adamo told me. aWeirdest d.a.m.n conversation Iave ever been privy to, if you donat mind me saying it.a aBathroom,a I said, then, athank you,a then made my hurried excuses and my equally hurried way to the bathroom, where I found Hal alonea"no longer, it would seem, engaged in conversation with the young airman Adamo had mentioned.

aRoyston,a he said, turning at once. There were mirrors everywhere, allowing me to see him from all angles, and just where the blush begana"at the back of his necka"before it suffused most of his face and eclipsed his freckles. aThis must looka"I mean, I intended to come back, but the whole sink is made of porcelain and marble, then I had a conversation with a member of the Dragon Corps. Did you know that Raphael collects third-edition gold prints?a aHal,a I said, stepping close to him at once, and taking his hands. aCan you ever forgive me?a aWhy,a Hal said. aWhat are you talking about?a aIt seems that I abandoned you most cruelly to a night spent making idle conversation with frequenters of the bathroom,a I explained. aAs curious a choice as that may have been for you to make, it was no doubt influenced by my utter selfishness this evening.a aNot at all,a Hal said frankly. aYou were glad to be back. I didnat wish to intrude, nor did I wish to embarra.s.s you.a aEmbarra.s.s me?a I asked, baffled at this unexpected fear of his. aHow in bastionas name do you propose you might have done that?a aThere were,a Hal admitted, with the faintest ghost of a wry smile, amany times this evening where I have to admit I had no idea what you or your friends were talking about.a aAh,a I said. aYes. That.a aItas very different here,a he said softly. aI know that you love it. I want to love it, tooa"a aThe things most worth loving take their time in giving you reason,a I told him. aI did abandon you tonight. There were matters weighing heavily on my mind, but this is no excuse.a aI didnat mind,a said Hal, squeezing my hands with such intractable good nature that I felt it in my chest. aI met more than one or two interesting people.a aDid you,a I said. aInteresting people at a ball? Youave been much more fortunate than most.a aYouare very strange.a Hal did smile then, and it was a true smile, as true as all the ones Iad seen in the country. aYou talk of your friends as if you donat care, but I know that you missed them.a aI am a cold and distant man,a I answered, full of contrition.

Still, I couldnat help but be pleased that head noticed. Oftentimes I found that only the men Iad known longest, the ones who remained in my life throughout the years, were the ones who saw immediately to the heart of my strange deception.

Perhaps it was only my own foolish stubbornness, obligating me to conceal what it was I felt when I felt it. Hal had been the exception and not the rule in this regard.

aYou arenat,a he said, and he truly did seem happy, for all Iad left him to the tender mercies of total strangers while I satisfied both my curiosity and my insistent craving for the city life. Then he leaned up and pressed his mouth to my cheek, chaste and warm.

He was abiding by the rules Iad set down for us much better than I had wanted him to, I thought treasonously. I held him close for a moment, until a stir of voices pa.s.sed the bathroom door and I was forced to weigh my desires against the potential consequences of putting Hal at the center of the storming gossip of which I knew the n.o.blesse were so very capable. Reluctantly we separated, though I wasnat quite quick enough to thwart my own urge to smooth the fringe from his eyes.

aAre you quite ready to leave the bathroom now?a I asked. aOr have you developed a rapport with your own reflection?a aStrange,a he said again fondly, then turned away to examine his hair in the many mirrors. I felt a small pang of guilt, as it was a concern Iad never seen him exhibit before.

aYou look fine,a I rea.s.sured him. aBetter than fine, even. Luminous. Radiant.a He laughed, exiting the room ahead of me, but I saw the flush of color at the back of his neck, and I knew that, for all my foolishness, at least the words hadnat been in vain.

There were more people in the halls, and seemingly fewer in the grand ballroom than there had been at the height of the nightas festivities. Of course, not everyone was for dancing, and once the requisite grace period had been observeda"to show respect for the Esar and his particular brand of pomp and circ.u.mstancea"it was generally considered acceptable to take your leave.

So perhaps it was only my suspicious nature, or perhaps Iad only been too long removed from the city to remember the subtle particulars of concealment and subterfuge, but everywhere I looked it seemed as though there was some great mystery happening just beneath the gla.s.s. The guests stood sequestered in groups of twos and threes, speaking at volumes no louder than a whisper. Every now and then someone would laugh, high and uncomfortable, or the loose, throaty guffaw of the very drunk. I pitied whoever that might have been, for they were sure to have the most thankless of headaches in the morning. Indeed, my own head was starting to feel too large, my skull too tight in a way that Iad unhappily come to recognize. I attributed it to the stress of my return and my tenuous situation with Hal, but it didnat make the aching any easier to bear.

What allowed me to nurture my suspicions instead of quas.h.i.+ng them outright were the many faces I recognized and even respected. Marius of the Basquiat was there, and speaking to Berhane, whose presence alone would have surprised me if Adamo hadnat told me himself shead been recalled. That she would have anything to say to Marius could bode nothing but ill.

aHal,a I said, feeling guilty even as I said it, awould you excuse me for one more moment?a aThey might be at Arnaudas party,a Berhane was saying, in cold and brittle tones. aOr they might be elsewhere entirely. All in all I think itas dreadfully rude of you to ask me when you know Iave only just got back. And when you didnat even bother to write!a Marius had the bewildered and miserable look of a man caught without an umbrella in an unexpected downpour. aI did write,a he said, then, noticing my approach he added, aAnyway, now is hardly an appropriate time, Berhane.a ah.e.l.lo, Marius,a I said cheerfully. aIam not interrupting anything, am I?a aNot at all!a Berhane answered. aI was just leaving.a aThatas a dreadful shame,a I said, asince I havenat yet had the honor of welcoming you back to our fair city.a She paused in thought at that, smoothing her immaculate hairstyle with one idle hand. aWell,a she said, her tone softening. aIave heard I wasnat the only one recalled.a aIndeed not.a I took her hand to kiss it, thinking about how best to fish for knowledge of what my colleagues thought of the Esaras ball and whether any of them found it as strange as I did. aIave heard that the Esar wants all his very finest for the battle to come, so it stands only to reason.a Berhane fluttered a fan in front of her smile and Marius made a noise of disgust.

aOh come now, Royston, donat tell me this doesnat all seem a little . . . off to you,a he said.

I shook my head, still holding Berhaneas hand. Iad discovered that the secret to getting any information out of Marius was to go through Berhane first. Iad have felt a little guiltier over it if it hadnat been so apparent that she enjoyed the charade as much as I did. aI saw the young man youave been mentoring, Marius,a I said. aHe looked rather green around the gills if you donat mind my saying.a aHeas had it somewhat rougher than you have,a Marius replied dryly. aAll things considered.a aOh, come now, arguing when the gossip is so good? Royston, Caius was here just a moment ago!a Berhane confessed, leaning close that I might hear her whisper. aBut he was called away by one of the Esaras dreadful, smirking servants. He canat have done anything so soon. I wonder if heas to be given an official pardon.a I felt my suspicions worsen, and for all Berhaneas tone was light, her eyes were sharp and unhappy. She had her suspicions the same as I did.

Marius shook his head. He looked as though he wanted to hang the pair of us, but I didnat know for which offense. aHas your sojourn from the city caused the both of you to forget how easily one can be overheard here? Never mind it now. If there is something to discover, we can trust weall discover it soon enough.a aEver the teacher.a I sighed. aIt was good to see you, Berhane.a aRoyston.a Mariusas voice caught me just as Iad begun to turn away. Berhane had dropped the act just as I had, and together we were three very grim magicians with nothing but our suspicions to hold us together. aThe Wildgrave was here for about five minutes at the beginning of the ball. He excused himself from our table very quickly. Said he had some blasted fever.a aWhen I arrived, I saw him arguing with Caius,a added Berhane. aAnd the pair of them disappeared down one of those awful corridors the Esar had built.a I nodded, not entirely certain what to do with the information now that Iad been given it. Wildgrave Marshall was the eldest son of one of the most distinguished magicianas houses. As far as I knew, he had never been involved in any suspicious activities before. And it seemed as though Caius Greylace was appearing and disappearing as convenienced him throughout the ball, although that in and of itself wasnat exactly unusual.

aIf we discover anything,a Marius said, shaking my hand, aweall let you know.a I rejoined Hal with much apology, and immediately explained my charade with Berhane to the half-baffled, half-hurt expression on his face. I even took his hand as we made our exit from the palace, too tired to pretend I didnat want what I did and in want of comfort at that particular moment.

aAre you all right?a Hal pulled me from my reverie and I returned with a jolt as if from underwater.

aYes,a I said, pulling my gaze away from Caius and a pale girl with blue hair by the door. aYes, Iam fine.a aYou only looked very far off,a Hal said. aLike the way the chatelain used to say I did when I was thinking of a story Iad read earlier and where might be the best place for finis.h.i.+ng it.a aI was merely trying to remember the names of some of the more important people at our table,a I confessed, and felt all the better about the small deception when his face lit up as surely as one of the glowing lanterns lining the Palace Walk.

I felt an irrational wish for more time to speak with Adamo, and in private, where the long fingers of the bastion mightnat still reach us. My old friend was refres.h.i.+ngly straightforward, and such secretive matters fairly overwhelmed my appet.i.te for delicacy. For court intrigue and rumors of the war, I would take nothing but honesty from both barrels, and be all the gladder for it. Adamo understood what few men did, and he managed it somehow while never quite turning into one of the near monstrosities some of his airmen had.

aI met the man charged with rehabilitating the Dragon Corps,a Hal said, and I got the uncomfortable sense head said something just before it, that Iad missed a piece of his conversation while lost in my own private thoughts. aThe one they were talking about. Is it true heas just a student from the aVersity?a aI believe so,a I said, adding Marius to the list of people I would have to speak to shortly. Knowing Marius, I would have to bribe him to get him to admit whether he knew anything. Perhaps I would go through Berhane. aWhat was he like? Interesting?a aHe was,a said Hal. aOnly, I think I said something wrong, and he got quite strange and left in a rush.a aOh, I wouldnat worry about that,a I said, trying not to seem as distracted as I felt. aAfter what Iave heard from the Chief Sergeant, I should think he agot quite strangea all on his own.a The music seemed too loud, and the chandelier too bright when we reentered the ballroom. Now that Iad begun to dwell on it, the party seemed little more than a faade. I didnat know what it was the Esar was so keen on keeping under wraps, but I did know that he was underestimating the vast majority of my peers if he thought they wouldnat notice.

The problem was that Iad always been a little too interested in things that werenat any of my concern. And, punishment or no, that was a habit I found hard to overcome.

THOM.

Iad taken leave of my senses. That was the only possible explanation. The Dragon Corps had damaged my mind so thoroughly that I hadnat even noticed theyad done it until Rook had cornered me at thaEsaras ball.

And Iad let him.

Iad more than let him. Iad encouraged it. Iad descended to his level.

I would no longer remember this night as the night I wore the finest clothes Iad ever owned, or the night Iad been invited to a balla"a real balla"at the palace, but rather as the night Iad thrown away all my careful restraint and let Rook get under my skin exactly the way Iad promised myself he wouldnat.

I was meant to be better than this; I knew better, Iad been taught better. I could either think myself better educated than Rook and follow up that a.s.sumption with my actions, or I could resort to brawling with him at every turn like a common Mollyrat. Which, as head so astutely discovered, I was.

I held no illusions as to the truth of what Rook had told me about the piercing obviousness of my roots and where Iad come from. Much as I hated him, I couldnat deny the simple fact that he was cleverer than most and could probably be quite sharp about keeping a secret when he thought it would benefit him. I couldnat say the same for many of the other airmen, and I knew that if my birthright really was common knowledge, Iad have heard it in more than a few taunts already. It was simply too good to pa.s.s upa"a jumped-up urchin from Molly trying to teach anyone about anything. The worst of it was that there were no notes I could refer to for this, no piece of wisdom from Marius that would help me to clear my head so that I might get back on track.

The problem was simply that I didnat even know what track I was trying to find my way back to.

After Rook had left, Iad had to take a long moment to collect myself, breathing in the cold night air and waiting for the chill to pull me back to reality. I waited there until I could stand without the help of the rail, until the throbbing in my back had receded to something manageable, no longer a constant, heated reminder of how foolish Iad been. Iad thought I might run into Hal in the bathrooms when I ended up there again, but theyad been empty when I returned, which was probably for the best as Iad have only owed him an apology and I wasnat feeling much for words.

It was then that thaEsar himself summoned me.

I was waylaid in the bathroomsa"that my whereabouts was so easily discovered unsettled and unnerved me almost as much as what had pa.s.sed a few moments before on the balcony overlooking the gardensa"by one of his servants.

aHis Majesty wishes to confer with you,a the messenger said, bowing low and all but tugging his forelock. He was obviously at a loss for what t.i.tle, if any, he should employ when addressing me. I had as little idea as he for, of the two of us, it was quite clear to me head had the better breeding. Then again, as Rook had made perfectly clear, it wasnat hard to be a better-bred man than I was.

aAh,a I said, trying to gather my wits about me. aYes. I shall . . . follow?a aThere is a more private way,a the servant said, still bowing. aIf you will mark my lead.a I followed him out into the hall as he walked calmly and unhurriedly past a group of three women talking to one another behind their fans. It hardly helped my composure that they were talking about Rook. I caught the barest threads of their conversation and felt my cheeks grow warm with anger.

It seemed I couldnat escape him, not in dreams of flying or on a balcony at the balla"which was in some part supposed to have been my own small triumph, the perfect way to showcase what Iad accomplished with the airmen. I hadnat heard any gossiping about any major and embarra.s.sing incidents thus far, which would have seemed like its own small miracle were it not for the fact that I knew Rook had been far more occupied with tearing me down on the balcony than starting any trouble.

aHas he gone early?a one asked her closest friend. aOr do you suppose heas found someone?a aHe canat have done,a her friend replied, looking as miserable as I felt. aHe never decides so quickly!a aYes,a said a third, who stifled a yawn with her dainty, silk-gloved hand. aI did think we had more time.a Only my purpose anch.o.r.ed me as the servant cleared his throat, waiting for me to quicken my step to follow him, when we turned a sudden corner into an unlit hallway which, if pressed, I would have sworn hadnat been there before.

aCome quickly,a the servant said, most politely.

I doubled my pace.

Here, the palace was almost deathly silent; it seemed that even the air possessed the same stultifying reverence as one found in a mausoleum or tomb. It was quite the contrast to the ceaseless noises of the ballroom, where the rustle of silks and taffetas, lowered voices and whispered gossip built to almost the same crescendo as the music. Even the countless flickering magic-lights had their own certain noisea"a relentless, ceaseless thrumming, a music all their owna"but here in the shadowy darkness of the hidden hallway, the only sounds that disturbed the absolute silence were my footsteps.

The servantas footsteps made no sound at all.

I began to feel as if Iad entered into some secret world, one gravely different from my own. The change may even have occurred before Rook cornered me on the balcony, and I was too distracted by my own reckless temper and his taunting words to notice it.

The servant led me through the twisting halls, taking sharp turn after sharp turn, until I realized that the majority of our path was a complicated ruse designed to confuse me so completely Iad never be able to find my way in this direction again, even on pain of death.

The walls loomed narrow and tight at either side, and at times I had the slight impression that I was being led in a downward directiona"countered only at times by having the slight impression of being led upward again. Occasionally I could discern certain shapes around me: the frames of paintings or heavy tapestries, a doorway, or what might have been a very old mirror. Yet as soon as I could make out what they were meant to be Iad already moved on.

At last, when I was disoriented and weary, the footman halted, turned neatly on his eerily silent heel, and bowed with a flourish to his left.

Where no doorway had been beforea"and this time I was all but certaina"a delicate door swung inward.

aWe are on time, I believe,a the servant said.

Not wanting to know what sort of punishment lay in store for making thaEsar wait, I stepped into the hidden room.

It was larger inside than Iad expected, the walls surrounding a long meeting table. At the end of the table I recognized thaEsar, who was seated and drinking dark wine from an exquisitely delicate goblet. Next to him stood a woman I vaguely recognizeda"all I could know for certain was that she wasnat thaEsarinaa"and she, too, was drinking from a similar goblet, or at least holding it in one hand, while with the other she traced the rim round and round in deep thought. She was naturally very dark, with a sharp nose, and the makeup around her eyes and on her mouth was darker still, looking almost as black as her hair in the strange light of the room. If called upon to do so, I would have guessed she was a member of the old Ramanthe n.o.bility; the structure of her face was nearly unmistakable. It reminded me of a portrait I had seen in my textbooks, of the velikaia Antoinette, who had been the previous Esaras choice of bride for his son before it had been discovered that she hid a quiet Talent. The text went on to say that a marriage between the Volstovic n.o.bility and that of the lingering Ramanthines would have been enormously prosperous, but unfortunately the plans had fallen through.

She bent down to say something private to thaEsar, and a black curl of hair slipped free of its complicated twist, resting softly against her sharp, bare shoulder.

Then they both turned and looked directly at me.

aAh,a thaEsar said, beckoning me closer. aWe have the Dragon Corps to discuss.a Iad seen thaEsar before, but in the company of so many of his entourage that he was barely recognizable on his own. It was a foolish remnant of my childhood in Molly, but I was surprised all the same to discover that he was no more than a mana"and a weary one at that, if those were more than simple shadows marring his face. He had a strong chin, and salt streaks in his red hair, and his face was powerful, if not entirely handsome.

I bowed at once.

aNo need for that,a he said, waving his hand. aItas been a long night. Full of dancing, mm? Dismissed,a he added to the woman beside him, who set her goblet down on the table, curtsied oncea"more for my sake, I thought, than for formalitya"and disappeared through one of many little doors set all along the walls.

It was without a doubt the strangest room in which Iad ever found myself.

aWe called you here to discuss your progress with the corps,a he said, and motioned for me to sit. By his leave, I did so; I was grateful for the permission, since my legs were shaking. aWe find youave done an acceptable job, since there have been no diplomatic complaints yet this night, and we have had to placate no other men on the loss of their wives.a This was because Rook had been too preoccupied with exacting whatever punishment he thought necessary on me to go after any married woman. Should I have been grateful for that, as well? I didnat think so and, whatas more, I wasnat about to point out that fact to thaEsar.

aThank you, Your Majesty,a I deferred instead. aI am most pleased to have served you adequately.a aYour services may be further needed in rehabilitating them,a thaEsar continued, aonce the war is over, and they find themselves . . . at loose ends.a I bowed my head lower and said nothing at all.

aYou will of course be thanked amply and suitably for your work and service to the crown,a thaEsar concluded. aWe will have a man gather your notes. Perhaps we will forward your theories for publication, just as we were inspired to fund your partic.i.p.ation in the matter.a He paused to let the full weight of this praise sink in; I murmured my commoneras thanks without quite listening to a word I was saying, feeling riven by how little able I was to appreciate the promotion. Iad succeeded. I was to be funded in writing my own book. Whether it was the book I wished to write or something else entirely didnat matter. After I was finished writing it, I would be a scholar of fame and repute, and could pursue my own studies in whatever direction caught my fancy. It wouldnat matter then where Iad come from. I would have everything Iad ever striven toward. And that was surely more important.

And yet I was utterly incapable of feeling any kind of pride at this achievement. I knew whya"I could chase the numbness right back to its sourcea"and I kept my head very low indeed, so that thaEsar would not sense from me even a moment of ingrat.i.tude.

Rook was a poison.

I could not stop thinking of him and my defeat, even now, at the precise moment of my triumph. Additionally, I had the nagging notion at the back of my mind that if I were to follow proper channels, those notes should be going to Adamo, that the Chief Sergeant was the one who would then be reporting to thaEsar. Yet I could do no more than wonder why thaEsar would have asked me to breach this protocol.