The Duck Commander Family Part 15

3. Cook bacon.

4. Sear one side of hamburger for about 3 to 4 minutes, but never touch it with a spatula (and don't push out the juices!). Then flip the hamburger once and don't touch it again.

5. Top with bacon.

6. Warm hamburger buns in the grease from the patties.

CHAPTER 14

DUMPLINGS, HOT WATER,

CORNBREAD, AND FRIED SQUIRRELS

A WIFE OF n.o.bLE CHARACTER WHO CAN FIND? SHE IS WORTH FAR MORE THAN RUBIES. HER HUSBAND HAS FULL CONFIDENCE IN HER AND LACKS NOTHING OF VALUE ... HER CHILDREN ARISE AND CALL HER BLESSED; HER HUSBAND ALSO, AND HE PRAISES HER.

-PROVERBS 31:1011, 28 Before Korie and I started running Duck Commander, everything happened at Phil and Kay's house. That's where all of the duck-call manufacturing, packaging, s.h.i.+pping, and billing took place. Every Duck Commander employee worked at Phil and Kay's house, which is a pretty good ways out of town and not the ideal working situation. They are too far out of town to get regular cable or Internet service, so everything was on satellite. Every time it rained hard we would lose service. We'd be waiting on a big order and the lights would go out. Plus, the "offices" were only old buildings and old trailers that were pieced together as the company grew. About six years ago, Korie and I moved to a new house and relocated most of Duck Commander's business operations to our old house. We ran the website and did all of the clerical work there. The manufacturing was still taking place at Phil's house because that's where the machinery was located. But in the winter of 2008, the Ouachita River flooded its banks, and the water slowly made its way up to my parents' house.

I can still remember asking Phil how he was going to s.h.i.+p orders if his property flooded.

"Well, I guess we'll put them on a boat," Phil told me, with a scary sense of seriousness in his voice.

It was right in the middle of duck-hunting season, and Duck Commander was very busy. We couldn't afford to take a chance on my parents' house flooding, along with all of the duck calls that were being made down there. If there were any delays in our manufacturing or s.h.i.+pping, it would cost us a lot of money. So Korie and I purchased a warehouse from her father, Johnny. Duck Commander's employees were excited about working at the new warehouse because most of them lived in town and their drive wasn't going to be nearly as far. But they were also a little sad about leaving my parents' house because Kay had been cooking them lunch every workday for nearly four decades.

When Duck Commander was working out of Phil and Kay's house, it was a very casual work atmosphere. Kay would cook a big meal for lunch every day, and they would all eat and then most of the employees would take a nap. Then they'd all sit around and talk. Eventually, they would get back to working. But if somebody got a hankering to go fis.h.i.+ng, everybody just went fis.h.i.+ng. I think moving to our old house was a good transition before moving it all to a warehouse in town. If we had gone straight to a big warehouse, everyone would have had a hard time adjusting. We've always strived to keep that family atmosphere that Kay and Phil started, while finding ways to become more efficient and productive. I think we've achieved that. If you ask around our offices, people will tell you that they actually like coming to work. It's a fun environment with people who love each other, have interesting personalities, and enjoy what they do. It doesn't get any better than that.

IF SOMEBODY GOT A HANKERING TO GO FIs.h.i.+NG, EVERYBODY JUST WENT FIs.h.i.+NG.

Kay was a little relieved to get everybody out of her kitchen and out of her house, but I think she felt a little sadness, too. She and Phil were so used to having so many people around the house all the time. They were kind of like, "Wait a minute. What are we going to do now?" Now Kay brings her grandkids down to the house and plans outings and fun things for them. And, of course, if Phil or Jase runs the nets and catches a big mess of catfish, all work stops at the warehouse while everyone heads down to Phil and Kay's for an impromptu fish fry. Kay still enjoys cooking for anyone who drops by, and the whole family joins in for dinner often. Kay's not getting off that easy!

At everyone's birthdays, Kay will cook the birthday girl or boy her or his favorite meal. Some of the meals that people always want Kay to cook are the ones she made when I was younger, like hot-water cornbread, dumplings, and fried squirrels. Those are still some of my favorites, too, and they always take me back to my childhood when I eat them. When I was little, we didn't have much money to buy groceries, so Kay made meals that were inexpensive and didn't require a lot of ingredients. She could make a meal for Phil and her four growing boys with about five bucks' worth of food, and there would usually be seconds for all of us.

Kay makes hot-water cornbread with cornmeal, salt, sugar, boiling water, and oil. Her cornbread is an old-fas.h.i.+oned recipe; she fries the cornbread cakes, rather than baking them, and they're delicious. Kay's dumplings involve simple ingredients as well (all-purpose flour, baking soda, baking powder, Crisco, and b.u.t.termilk), and the only things she needs to make fried squirrels are flour, seasoning, and oil. Of course, the squirrels are free and you can eat as many as you can shoot. You know what Kay says about squirrel brains-they make you smart! I guess Jase never ate enough of them when we were younger.

As you might guess, Kay takes quite a bit of pride in her cooking, and everyone brags about her food. But the Robertson men are not easy on her when she messes a meal up. Phil says the best way to ensure someone will continue to be a bad cook is to brag on bad cooking. That will never happen in the Robertson house.

PHIL SAYS THE BEST WAY TO ENSURE SOMEONE WILL CONTINUE TO BE A BAD COOK IS TO BRAG ON BAD COOKING.

A Robertson family tradition is eating seafood for Christmas dinner, and it's usually better than you could get at any five-star restaurant. But at our Christmas dinner in 1998, Kay fried the shrimp for way too long. Kay and Phil's shrimp are usually fried lightly, but not these; they were dark brown and tasted like rubber.

"Whoa, Kay, what happened, did you forget how to cook?" I asked her.

Phil was even more critical, but it was all in good fun.

"Don't you know you're only supposed to cook shrimp for three minutes?" Phil asked her. "These are terrible. I wouldn't even put them in my crawfish nets."

At every Christmas dinner since, we always ask Kay if she's going to serve overcooked shrimp and everyone has a good laugh at Kay's expense. She doesn't mind; she can dish it up as good as she can take it. Korie: I ate those shrimp and thought they were delicious. But in the Robertson family you can't get away with anything. I think I burned the bread like once and Willie loves to joke that you know when dinner's ready at our house when you hear me sc.r.a.ping the bread! They're a tough crowd in the kitchen, but it's all in good fun. I tell people you have to have healthy self-esteem to be married to a Robertson.

Kay lived in a house full of Robertson boys and men, and I'm still not sure how she survived. There were Phil, me, and my three brothers, and there were usually a couple of our friends hanging around. But Kay has a lot of patience and has always been very funny-I think that's where I get my sense of humor-and she has a mechanism for turning anything into fun. I'm not sure Phil has ever really understood her humor. Jase and Phil are a lot more serious and have a much more dry sense of humor, so Kay and I are always making fun of them and have our inside jokes about them. Sometimes, Kay and I will be in the kitchen laughing together, and Phil will walk in and tell us we're being too noisy. He'll be trying to watch the late news and will say, "Hey, Sat.u.r.day Night Live is over." Every time Phil walks out of the room, I'll make a face at him, almost behind his back. Phil says he doesn't even know how to laugh, while Kay is always jovial and constantly has a big smile on her face. You know what they say about how opposites attract. Korie: The thing that has impressed me most about Kay is that she really rarely gets truly aggravated or mad at Phil and the boys. She knows how to not sweat the small stuff. She's been through a lot in her and Phil's marriage, and I think it taught her that most things are really not worth getting mad at. She has a really fun side to her. Willie and Jep are always putting food down her back, grabbing her from behind, or throwing something into her hair, and I'm sure it got pretty old about twenty years ago. At some point, most people would be like, "Okay, enough already." But Kay laughs every time. She doesn't take herself very seriously, which I think is one of the most important qualities for enjoying life and one I have made sure to try to pa.s.s on to our children. One of the reasons Kay laughs so much now is because in the beginning, when Phil was drinking and they didn't have much money, there wasn't a lot of laughing going on. But now we laugh at almost everything together. On our birthdays, Kay likes to send us very random cards, like Earth Day or graduation cards. Her favorite thing to do at Christmas is to give us gag gifts. After we've exchanged gifts as a family, she'll give everybody a joke gift. Kay will often forget why she thought it was funny when she bought it. She'll give someone salt and pepper shakers and won't even remember why she gave them! EVERY ONE OF KAY'S RAT TERRIERS HAS BEEN NAMED JESSE JAMES OR SOME VERSION OF HIS NAME.

Of course, Kay's gifts always say they're from her dogs. If you get a present from her rat terriers-or some random famous person whose name is on the tag-you know it's actually one of Kay's gag gifts. Every one of Kay's rat terriers has been named Jesse James or some version of his name, because if one dies she'll still have another one with her. Somehow, that helps her cope with the trauma of losing one of her pets. She's had like twenty of those dogs and they've all been named Jesse, JJ, or Jesse James II. She calls one of her dogs Bo-Bo, but his real name is Jesse James.

Kay loves her dogs. One time, Phil chopped a copperhead in three pieces with a shovel, and then he picked up the snake's head and threw it close to one of Kay's dogs. Even though the snake was cut in three pieces, it somehow managed to bite the dog's head and latch on to its eye. The dog's head swelled up like a basketball. Phil looked at me and said, "Don't tell your mother." I was like, "Uh-huh, she'll never notice." The dog was fine. These are country dogs; they can take a little snake venom and keep on going. Phil is always throwing dead snakes at dogs to see their reaction, but not the poisonous ones anymore. He's not going to take a chance on hurting one of Miss Kay's beloved dogs.

With Kay, everything is an exaggeration and every conversation with her centers around food. When I call their house to talk to Phil, if Kay answers the phone, I have to listen to what they ate for lunch that day or dinner the previous night. I might be calling to talk to Phil about a big business deal, but Kay only wants to talk about how she cooked green beans, ham, and fresh corn, or how she'd already cooked lunch, but then a couple more people came over so she pulled a couple packages of sausage out of the freezer. Then she'll ask you what you had for lunch and dinner, and she'll want to know exactly how you cooked it. She always wants to know the details. Every conversation with her involves food, and it's either the best thing she ever put in her mouth or it was a disaster. I'll never forget the time she cooked meatloaf for Phil and ran out of ketchup. She never runs out of ketchup and couldn't believe she'd let it happen. It was like the j.a.panese bombed Pearl Harbor again. Korie: Kay is the most patient person I know. Phil, on the other hand, let's just say patience is not his virtue. When we were filming Kay's cooking video, The Commander's Kitchen, Phil was getting a little aggravated with me because he didn't want to wait to cook his frog legs. It was taking us a little while to set up the cameras and everything, and A&E was there to film an episode of Duck Dynasty so it took a lot longer than we expected. I kept telling Phil he had to wait to cook his frog legs until his scene. We were making a TV show, you know? But Phil didn't want to ruin his frog legs, so I kept catching him trying to cook them, and I kept telling him he had to wait, and he was getting more and more frustrated.

We finally got to the scene where Phil was supposed to cook the frog legs, but then the A&E producers interrupted him. Phil gave me a look that indicated he was finished. Making sure his frog legs were perfect was the most important thing to him, not whether our cooking video or Duck Dynasty episode turned out right. I could only laugh and let him finish. n.o.body tells Phil what to do, and I certainly wasn't about to start. We made it work: he cooked the frog legs, and they tasted fantastic. This became the first episode of Duck Dynasty and we got a great cooking DVD out of it. It turned out to be a very good day. n.o.bODY TELLS PHIL WHAT TO DO, AND I CERTAINLY WASN'T ABOUT TO START.

I'm not sure Kay ever gets enough credit for helping our family and Duck Commander survive when times were tough. Let's face it: if Kay hadn't been strong enough to forgive Phil for the way he acted when I was young, our family and consequently Duck Commander wouldn't be here today. Thankfully, Kay's heart was big enough to look past Phil's transgressions and remember the man she married. After Phil kicked us out of the house, Kay made a thorough examination of her life and surrendered herself to Jesus Christ. She knew forgiving Phil was the right thing to do for her sons. If she wouldn't have forgiven Phil for things he'd done, or if he hadn't made changes in his life, we wouldn't be here today. As Phil began his Christian walk, he realized Kay was the best thing that ever happened to him, and they've been happily married ever since.

During the past four decades, Phil and Kay have been through some very difficult times and tackled them together. In the early days of Duck Commander, Kay was burdened with how the bills were going to be paid. We sometimes joke about Kay's not finis.h.i.+ng high school-she gets mad at me when I tease her about it because she did receive her GED after Alan was born-but I think it's pretty remarkable that she kept Duck Commander afloat for so long without having any kind of business background. When Phil started making duck calls, he was an excellent salesman, but other than that, he wanted nothing to do with the business side of the company. He just wanted to make his calls and hunt and fish.

Before Kay and Phil turned Duck Commander over to Korie and me, the company was doing over $1 million in sales. Kay was in charge of inventory, accounting, payroll, and bookkeeping, with the help of other members of the family, but she was the one primarily in charge, and she had absolutely zero business training. She'd worked for Howard Brothers Discount Stores for a while, but Kay was in no way trained to oversee a multimillion-dollar business. She didn't even have a desk! Every night, Phil would sit in a recliner in the living room, and Kay would sit by him at the end of the couch. She kept all of Duck Commander's bills and sales orders in a little basket and that's how she would run the business. It's incredible when you think about it; we never would have made it without her. Korie: Willie has always wanted to impress Kay and help her as much as possible. He realized a long time ago that his mother was working extremely hard but never got much of the glory because Phil was the star of Duck Commander. Kay's role was absolutely critical in the early days of Duck Commander. When we were dating, Willie and I painted Kay's kitchen cabinets for her for Mother's Day. She had a little tiny kitchen back then with not even a dishwasher, yet she cooked for the family and all the Duck Commander employees every day. There was so much grease on those cabinets from years of cooking, it was a miracle we ever got it all off to paint over it. Willie's love for his parents has always motivated him to do special things for them and to take Duck Commander to the next level, and they have always been very supportive and appreciative of him. Whether Willie paints Kay's kitchen, builds her something in the yard, cooks a great meal, or lands a big business deal, Kay has a special knack for bragging on him that makes him feel like a million bucks. She actually does that for all of us, and especially her boys. Sometimes people think that you should motivate your kids or employees by yelling at them when they fail or pointing out all the things they did wrong, but just the opposite is true. G.o.d created us to thrive on encouragement from others. Kay figured that out a long time ago. She has the gift of encouragement and gives that gift to those she loves the most.

KAY HAS A SPECIAL KNACK FOR BRAGGING ON HIM THAT MAKES WILLIE FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.

Whether it was in business or raising her family, Kay always managed to make it work even when times were hard and money was tight. Even though we have enough money now to eat big steaks, shrimp, and even lobster from time to time, we still love Kay's old-fas.h.i.+oned meals, like hot-water cornbread, dumplings, and fried squirrels. In a lot of ways, her home-cooked meals brought us comfort when we needed it most, and now they remind us of where we came from and how hard we worked to get where we are today, which none of us ever want to forget.

HOT-WATER CORNBREAD

This is Southern cooking at its best, and n.o.body does it better than Miss Kay! 21/2 cups yellow cornmeal (not self-rising)

1 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon sugar

4 cups water, boiling

6 cups peanut oil 1. Mix cornmeal, salt, and sugar together.

2. Pour in boiling water, just until wet but not runny, stirring as you pour.

3. Heat oil in skillet.

4. Put your hands in ice water, because the mixture will be hot, then scoop out a small handful, pat out into a patty, then drop in skillet of hot oil. Fry until brown on both sides, then take out and put on paper towel. That's it! They're delicious! FRIED SQUIRREL

1 small, young squirrel

salt and pepper to taste

2 cups all-purpose flour

peanut oil, for frying 1. Skin the squirrel and cut into 7 pieces: 4 legs, back, rib cage, and head.

2. Season with salt and pepper, then roll in flour.