The Judgement Of Love Part 17

"I think you can trust to my judgement," William said loftily, "and Uncle Roderick a.s.sures me that Astara is a most proficient driver!"

Lionel reached up to touch Astara s hand.

"I am prepared to believe that you are proficient at everything!" he said. "At the same time I shall be waiting anxiously for your return."

William made a sound that might have been an expression of irritation or disgust and signalled to the grooms to - release the horses' heads.

He cracked his whip and Lionel was forced to step back, but he stood watching Astara and William until they were out of sight amongst the great oak trees in the Park.

Then with a sigh he walked towards the stables.

Astara found it impossible to feel anything but a great aching void within herself.

She should have been delighted to be sitting beside such an excellent driver and behind such outstanding horse-flesh.

Her knowledge of horses made her aware that the bays, all perfectly matched, their only markings being two white fetlocks, were a team that one might be able to purchase only once in a lifetime.

William's Phaeton too was more lightly sprung and certainly smarter in appearance than anything she had seen in Paris.

With his top-hat on the side of his handsome head he certainly embellished the whole turn-out in a manner, she thought, that one would only find in England.

Despite Lionel's warnings they moved at a sharp pace along the hedge-bordered lanes in which, as she had noticed on her way down from London, there were primroses, violets and other spring flowers that she had not seen for many years.

There were golden kingcups by the side of the streams and there was a fragrance in the air.

But for her there was only the barren cold of winter within her heart, and it would be impossible ever again to thrill to the miracle of the spring because it would remind her of Vulcan's picture of Persephone.

"How can you do this to me? How can you make me suffer like this?" she cried and thought that her misery must wing its way back to him!

Surely he must be aware of how deeply and cruelly he was hurting her?

Intent on his driving William did not speak, and immersed in her unhappiness Astara ceased to think of the horses, the country through which they were pa.s.sing or of anything except Vulcan.

She could still feel the pressure of his lips on hers, in fact her mouth was slightly bruised by his violence, and yet she was aware that something wild and primitive within herself had responded to it.

She had known instinctively, she thought, from the first moment she saw Vulcan that he was the man who complemented her femininity by his masculinity.

He was her mate, the other half of her soul, the man who perhaps had been her lover in past incarnations, whom she had always sought and now had found again.

And she was sure he felt the same even while he would not acknowledge it.

There had been a fusion between them from the fast moment they had looked into each other's eyes, and when he kissed her she had known that he had awakened her soul and made it his. "How can he deny all that," she asked, "and for what?

His exploration of the world, the penetration of places where other men dare not go, the discovery of forgotten civilisations? Could that really be more important than love?"

The answer was conclusive to Vulcan it was.

She felt as if he had thrown her from the Heaven into which her love for him had taken her into the deepest and darkest h.e.l.l, far worse than any Hades in which Persephone had been incarcerated.

It was not only losing him, it was losing love and the hope of any chance of happiness.

Astara might be young, but she had thought very deeply. Perhaps as her mother and father believed, she was an 'old soul' retaining instinctively the knowledge and growth of mind which were the product of other lives.

She knew now that as far as she was concerned the life she had to live in her present body would always be in-complete and without depth.

She would go on breathing and growing older, but everything that mattered, everything that was of importance, had ceased from this moment because Vulcan was no longer with her.

She came back to reality with a start to hear William say: "I thought you would think this part of the countryside rather attractive, which is why I brought you here." Astara looked around.

As he said it was attractive, thickly wooded but with occasional glimpses of fields and of fruit-trees coming into blossom.

"What is the time?" she asked. "We must not keep Uncle Roderick waiting. "

"If he does wait for us I am afraid it will be in vain, " William replied.

"What do you mean?" Astara asked. "You know he dislikes our not being ready when he is and he looks forward to our rides.

"This morning he will have to make do with just Lionel as a companion," William replied. "You and I are playing truant."

"I do not understand."

"We are having luncheon at a special place which I know will interest you."

"Did you tell Uncle Roderick so before we left?" "I left a note for him on his desk."

"I hope he finds it before he waits for us, " Astara said, "Why did you not give it to a servant?"

William did not reply and she thought it was extremely tiresome of him to interfere with Sir Roderick's arrangements.

Like all elderly men who organise their lives down to the last detail it infuriated him to have any of his plans changed at the last moment.

He had said he would be back by ten-thirty and Astara knew that he would be back at the house a few minutes before and would expect her and his two nephews to be waiting for him.

"We must turn back," she said. "I am sure if you apologise Uncle Roderick will forgive you for being inconsiderate, and if he has started on his ride without us we can catch him up."

"For once Uncle Roderick is not going to have his own way," William said in what she thought was an aggressive tone. "I find it difficult, Astara, ever to get you to myself and therefore I have planned what we will do today very carefully."

'"I wish you had consulted me first."

"If I had you might have refused to come with me. "

"I should certainly have insisted that we were back by the time Uncle Roderick expected us."

"Then you see how wise I was not to risk an argument which inevitably I should have won."

"How can you be sure of that?"

"I always win," William said complacently.

She thought as she had thought before that he was in-tolerably conceited.

She told herself that perhaps when Sir Roderick realised the high-handed way William had behaved he would not be so obsessed with his favourite nephew.

Then she remembered how delighted Sir Roderick had been to see Vulcan the previous evening.

She could still remember her surprise when he had seemed to know everything that Vulcan had done and had been, she was sure, proud of his courage and daring in reaching Mecca and Harrar.

The mere thought of Vulcan brought back the agony within her breast and she told herself sharply that she would not think of him.

"Where are we going?" she asked William. "And how soon will we be there?"

"I am taking you to lunch to 'The Kind Dragon'," he .answered. 'It is an Inn built on a lake near a village called Elstree. In the summer I often drive out there in the evenings for dinner." - Astara realised that William was determined to take her to 'The Kind Dragon' and there seemed to be no point in arguing any further. She therefore relapsed into silence until about thirty minutes later when William exclaimed "Here is the lake: Now you will see that I have not exaggerated its attractions."

They had fumed off the main highway, and were making their way along a narrow road bordered by trees which ran beside a long lake, which appeared to be in the centre of a forest.

The sun was s.h.i.+ning on it .and there were a number of wild ducks and other birds which rose at their approach.

The road extended along one side of the lake until at the far end Astara could see an ancient Inn with a sloping roof built on the very edge of the water.

"There is 'The Kind Dragon' !" William said pointing with his whip.

"It is certainly very picturesque, " Astaras replied.

She thought it was very high-handed of him to have brought her here without asking her fast if it was something she wished to do.

But she realised that while she had been thinking of Vulcan they had driven far further than she had expected and now it was ,too late to return in .time for luncheon.

She could only hope that William had given Sir Roderick a plausible explanation in the note he had left on his desk.

They drew up outside the Inn which was very old and painted black and white which reminded Astara of the way that Vulcan had painted the Mill.

The ostlers ran to the horses' heads as William alighted first from the Phaeton to help Astara to the ground.

"I expect you would like to wash and tidy yourself before luncheon," he said. "I will order abed-room for you and as we have a private parlour to ourselves you can take off your bonnet and be comfortable."

"Thank you," Astara murmured.

She walked up a narrow oak staircase and a mob-capped Chambermaid showed her into an attractive room with a bow window that overlooked the lake.

Astara stood for a moment staring at-the suns.h.i.+ne on the water.

Irrepressibly it came to her mind that if she were here with Vulcan everything would vibrate with happiness.

Instead she could only tell herself she must behave sensibly so that William would not realise that anything was wrong.

She could not allow him to know how she was suffering or that Vulcan had come into her life and left it a barren desert.

She had .heard the way he spoke to his cousin last night and she had seen what she thought was a look of contempt in his eyes.

She knew it would be impossible for William ever to understand that Vulcans standards and ideals were very different from his.

With a start she realised she had been staring out of the window at the lake and had made no effort to get ready for luncheon.

She took off her bonnet, looked at herself in the mirror and wondered why her face was not lined with suffering and changed beyond recognition.

The maid had poured some hot water into a china basin and she washed her hands, then walked down the stairs.

The Landlord was waiting at the foot of them and led her down a narrow heavily beamed pa.s.sage to open the door at the end of it.

The private parlour was small, panelled with ancient oak, and the table for luncheon was set beside a window through which Astara could see a well-tended garden.

"I hope you are hungry," William said. "I have ordered what I am sure you will find a delicious meal."

Astara thought it would be impossible for her to force even a mouthful of food down her throat, but aloud she said : "This seems a very luxurious place to be out in the wilds."

"I told you that I come here sometimes in the summer," William said, "and it is in the Season a fas.h.i.+onable haunt of the Bucks of St James's."

Astara suspected that the women they brought to 'The Kind Dragon' were of a different status from herself, and she thought that in a way William was being insulting in bringing her here unchaperoned.

But there was no point in saying so and as the Landlord came bustling in with their luncheon she sat down at the table.

The food was excellent and William was apparently satisfied with the wine.

Astara ate very little, but he did full justice to the many courses and she- had the feeling that he was deliberately prolonging the meal.

When at last he sat back in his chair with a gla.s.s of brandy in his hand and the servants withdrew from the room Astara said: "We must be getting back. I am sure already Uncle Roderick will be very annoyed with us."

William put his gla.s.s of brandy down on the table before he said: "We are not going back!"

Astara thought she could not have heard him correctly. "What did you say?" she asked.

"I said we are not going back - not until to-morrow, at any rate. "

"W... what ... are you... saying?"

"This may come as somewhat of a surprise to you, Astara, " William replied, "but we are being married in an hour's time!"

Astara stared at him across the table.

"Are you mad?"

"On the contrary, I am extremely sane, " he replied. "You have played with me quite long enough, Astara, and as apparently you cannot make up your own mind I am making it up for you !"

"If you really think I am willing to marry you, you are very much mistaken!" Astara cried.

"You have no choice in the matter!"

She drew in her breath, but her voice was quite steady as she asked: "What do you ... mean by that?"