6th Grade Alien - There's An Alien In My Backpack Part 5

Mysphen-gnut-ksher emitted a guilty odor. I could tell from the twitching of Ms.

b.u.t.tsman's nose that she detected the fruity aroma. Fortunately, she was not capable of understanding what it meant.

In the days since Tim and I returned from our adventure in s.p.a.ce, I had seen the Fatherly One far morefrequently than I was used to. Alas, while that is something I had long desired, our meetings were not usually about pleasant matters.

This one was no exception.

"Pleskit, I need to make you aware of some things," said the Fatherly One when I entered his office.

I would have been happier if he had bothered to say h.e.l.lo first. Then I saw the degree of concern on his face and decided not to be upset about the lack of greeting.

"What is troubling you, O Fatherly One?"

"I have two things on my mind. Number one: the Galactic Inspection Team is arriving on Monday."

I felt myclinkus tighten. This would not be a good time for Beebo to act up.

"I hardly need to stress that we must make a good impression on them," said my parental unit. "Though there is residual goodwill for you across the galaxy for the part you played in thwarting Mikta-makta-mookta's plan to destroy the first GrandUrpelli, there is also great resentment of our family because the second GrandUrpelli was included with the Earth franchise."

He paused,then said, "The second item I want to speak about is more troubling."

I barely managed to keep from blurting out, "What could be more troubling thanthat?" -which would have been a big mistake, since I should have found news of the team's arrival merely interesting, not the terror-inducing statement that it actually was.

The Fatherly One paused for some time before speaking. "My second concern is very private."

I wondered, briefly, if he had become involved in some romantic entanglement. Then, for a horrible moment, I wondered if he had somehow found out about Beebo. "Are you sure this is something I should know about?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes. And you are theonly one I am telling, for I do not know who else to trust." He paused and gestured for me to step closer to him. I joined him in the command pod.

At a signal from the Fatherly One, the pod closed. We were now completely s.h.i.+elded from anyone hearing us, either directly or with any kind of electronic equipment.

"What is troubling you, O Fatherly One?" I asked, more nervous than ever.

CHAPTER 11.

[PLESKIT].

The Backpack The Fatherly One paused a long time before speaking. When he finally did begin, I understood why he was so troubled. Looking at his hands, he said," Ifear we have another traitor on the emba.s.sy staff. Too much information has been leaking out. Most of it is not highly confidential, but people are far too aware of my comings and goings. I am concerned that someone is giving out this information.Or selling it."

"Do you have any idea who it is?" I asked, feeling a little sick at the idea. Even the dreadful Ms.

b.u.t.tsman did not strike me as the sort to be a traitor.

The Fatherly One tweaked hissphen-gnut-ksher. "No. I am smorgle-broken by the very thought of it. It was bad enough with Mikta-makta-mookta. I do not think I can stand it again."

I understood. Loyalty and honor are important concepts for us on Hevi-Hevi.

Of course, that makes it especially disturbing when loyalty and honor seem to be at war with each other-as, for example, in the current situation where loyalty to the Fatherly One would prompt me to turn my back on Beebo (or even turn him in to the Inspection Team), yet honor seemed to say this was not the right thing to do.

"Anyway," said the Fatherly One, "I cannot share this fear with anyone else, for I am not sure who to trust. I just wanted to ask you to keep your nose open and be extra careful."

I left the office of my parental unit feeling great uneasiness about the danger of a traitor on staff and more uncertain than ever about what I should do regarding Beebo.

Fortunately-for Beebo, at least-as I was pa.s.sing the chambers ofWakkam Akkim, I heard her performing a complex chant. Her voice was weirdly beautiful, and from the first s.n.a.t.c.h of words I could tell this was something I needed to hear. So I sat down outside her door to listen for a while. The chant turned out to be a kind of prayer or invocation, requesting strength to do what you think is right, no matter what the circ.u.mstances.

When she was done, I sighed and got to my feet.

Then I spent most of the weekend trying to devise a method of keeping the school's scanners from detecting Beebo as we brought him into the building.

I finished the s.h.i.+elding device for Tim's backpack late on Sunday afternoon. An hour or so later McNally and I asked Ralph-the-Driver to take us to Tim's apartment, so I could install the s.h.i.+elding inTim's backpack. (We didn't explain why we were going to Ralph, of course. I loved the fact that he never asked questions.) "I'm glad you're here," said Tim when we arrived. "Beebo's been wearing me out. Half the time he's telling me jokes that have me laughing so hard I can't stand up-at least, the ones that I can understand do. Alien humor can be very weird."

"It's not weird, it's profound," said Beebo, who was sitting on the couch with a comic book floating in front of him. A page turned without him touching it.

Tim rolled his eyes. "The rest of the time he's offering to help me clean my room!"

"It's a matter of health and safety," said Beebo.

"Isn't he adorable?" said Mrs. Tompkins.

Tim rolled his eyes again.

"Well, I've got the s.h.i.+eld," I said. "Where's your backpack?"

"Just a second.I'll have to empty it out."

Watching Tim empty his backpack was like seeing the laws of physics violated. It was hard to believe so much stuff had been held in such a small s.p.a.ce.

"So that's what happened to that potholder!" said his mother, s.n.a.t.c.hing a piece of fabric from the pile growing at Tim's feet. "What's it doing in here?"

"I used it for padding when I had to take that egg to school," said Tim.

"That was three months ago!" said his mother sharply, as she bent to retrieve another item from the pile.

By the time he was done, she had acc.u.mulated a small stack of household goods that had found their way into Tim's backpack and not been seen again until this moment, including a screwdriver, three spoons, the remote control for the TV set, a tube of lipstick ("I was going to use it for art cla.s.s," he explained), and a flowerpot.

He also removed several truly dismaying food items, some of which seemed to have sprouted life-forms of their own.

"Do you think I will be safe in there?" asked Beebo nervously.

"I'll disinfect it for you," said Mrs. Tompkins, taking the pack and giving Tim a look that might have caused a weaker person to crumble into dust on the spot. Then she brought some milk and cookies-Mrs. Tompkins makes very good cookies, and they are something I am going to suggest to the Fatherly One that we consider for export to other planets-and we had a snack while she went to clean the backpack. After a few minutes McNally went out to help her. I could tell that Tim wanted to go check up on them but did not dare.

While they were gone I motioned for Tim to come close to me.

"Take this," I said quietly, handing him a small device. "What is it?"

"A portable comm device.I really shouldn't be giving it to you, but until this crisis with Beebo is over, I think we need a way to make direct contact despite the Fatherly One's disapproval."

"Good idea," said Tim.

I had just finished showing him how to use the device when Mrs. Tompkins returned with the backpack.

"Here you go, Beebo," she said cheerfully."Fresh as a daisy!" She turned her attention to Tim, and her smile faded. "And it wasn't easy, I want to tell you. We're going to have to have another little talk about this kind of thing, bub."

Tim sighed.

I took the backpack from Mrs. Tompkins and installed the s.h.i.+eld I had created. "Here," Isaid, when I had finished. "Try it on for size."

Beebo climbed into the pack. It was a perfect fit.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Pleskit," he said happily. "You'll be really glad you helped me. I won't be any trouble. You'll see."

CHAPTER 12.

[TIM].

BeeboAgainst the Dark Side Monday morning I helped Beebo get settled in the backpack, then hopped on my bike and rode to school.

Jordanmust have taken one of his obnoxious pills before he came to school that day, because his rottenness was in full bloom. "Hey, look!" he said, when Pleskit and I walked into the room. "It's Pleskit and that other kid-the one from outer s.p.a.ce."

For a horrifying moment I thought he knew I had Beebo in my backpack. Then I realized he was talking aboutme. In case I had any doubts,Jordan immediately clarified his statement. "Yeah, monster maker, I'm talking 'bout you. I've been taking a poll. Turns out only ten percent of the people in our cla.s.s think you were actually born on this planet."

Brad Kent snorted in approval. "Good one," he said, slappingJordan on the back.

I could feel myself start to blush. "If you guys are typical Earthlings, I'd rather be an alien anyway," I said.

Jordanscowled, but before he could do anything, Ms. Weintraub ordered us all to our seats.

I carefully hung the backpack with Beebo in it on the back of my chair. "You okay in there?" I whispered, bending close to the top as I adjusted one of the straps.

"Oksey-dokery!"said Beebo happily. "By the way, your cla.s.smate is disgusting. His humor is extremely low-grade."

I sat down.

The first part of the morning was pretty quiet. It wasn't until a little after ten o'clock thatJordan made his first wisecrack at my expense.

No sooner had the words left his mouth than his pencil rolled off his desk.

When he bent to get it, it rolled away from his fingers.

With a growl, he s.n.a.t.c.hed it up.

I should have figured it out then, of course. But I was daydreaming about Linnsy . . . Linnsyvec Bur . .

. and wondering where they were. So it wasn't until the third timeJordan 's pencil hit the floor and I heard Ms. Weintraub snap, "Jordan, will you stop fooling around?"

that I realized Beebo must be causing it to happen.

I let out a little snort of laughter.

"Something funny, Tim?" asked Ms. Weintraub sharply.

"Sorry," I said quickly."Just a little gas."

Several of the guys laughed, and Chris Mellblom gave me the thumbs-up sign. Most of the girls, on the other hand, rolled their eyes as if they thought I was too crude to live.

Funny as Beebo's prank was-and I was certainly glad to seeJordan getting frustrated and embarra.s.sed-the situation did nothing to improve my own life, sinceJordan was pretty sure Pleskit and I had something to do with it.

The thing was, wheneverJordan was steamed at either of us, I was the one he took it out on, since I don't have a personal bodyguard like Pleskit does-not to mention asphen-gnut-ksher that can zap anyone who tries to ha.s.sle me too much. So I knew there was trouble coming. About halfway through the morning I felt something jab me in the shoulder. After a minute I realized it was Beebo's finger poking me through the material of the backpack. At first I thought he was just trying to be annoying. But after he had poked me several times I got up and opened the pack, as if I was getting out a book or something.

Beebo was sitting in the bottom of the pack. He had his legs crossed, and he looked very unhappy.

"I gotta pee!" he whispered.

Yikes! Why hadn't we thought of that earlier? Of course, with alien biology, who could tell if they even needed to pee? For all I knew, Beebo had a metabolism that would let him get through a whole day without having to go to the bathroom. Heck, for all I knew, he didn't pee at all.

Except that now I knew he did.

But now what? Even if I got permission to go to the boys' room, I couldn't just pick up my backpack and head out the door. Ms. Weintraub would be sure I was up to something.

I bent closer to the opening of the pack and put my hand in, as if I were trying to find something. "You'll just have to wait!" I hissed.

Beebo's big eyes got even bigger. He didn't say a thing, just nodded and squeezed his legs together. He looked so pathetic it nearly killed me.

I sat down, trying to figure out how to get Beebo out of the room.

A minute later Ms. Weintraub came down the aisle, checking on people's work.

Beebo whimpered as she walked past.

Ms. Weintraub gave me a funny look. "Was that you, Tim?"

"Sorry," I said. "My sneaker squeaked on the floor."

I noticed that Rafaella was staring at me suspiciously.

"Oh, geez," I said quickly. "I just remembered! My mother asked me to give something to McNally. I'd better take it to him before I forget. You know how I am."