Eating The Dinosaur Part 5

9. In case you're curious, the three players selected first overall following Sampson's freshman, soph.o.m.ore, and junior years were Joe Barry Carroll from Purdue, Mark Aguirre from DePaul, and James Worthy from North Carolina. It's possible that the seven-one Carroll would still have gone before Sampson in 1980, but Sampson was already viewed as having greater upside. Aguirre and Worthy were both smaller players and would have been less desirable commodities (although the Lakers would have faced an intriguing decision had Sampson applied to the draft in 1982-they already had Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on the roster).

10. Virginia still won both of these games. This is somewhat remarkable. The first game was against Hakeem Olajuwon (and Benny Anders!) and the rest of the Houston Cougars, a squad that would eventually play in that year's national champions.h.i.+p. Sampson did not play a single minute in the win against Houston. Rick Carlisle must have had an awesome night.

11. When Appalachian State beat Michigan in football early in 2007, many in the media (and even more in the blogosphere) argued that this was the biggest upset ever. In reality, it's not even close. App State was the defending 1-AA national champion, playing a Wolverine team that would go on to lose again the following week. Virginia was the best team in the country in 1983 and Chaminade was an NAIA school that had a basketball program for only the previous seven years.

1. It's hard to imagine a more convoluted way to commit a murder than what happens in Vertigo Vertigo. Quite frankly, it would have been easier for the villain in this film to have simply killed every single person he's ever met.

2. As evidence, Bret Easton Ellis made Body Double Body Double Patrick Bateman's favorite movie in Patrick Bateman's favorite movie in American Psycho American Psycho.

3. This process becomes more interesting when the individual who's "tweeting" is an authentic person of interest. In February of 2009, Shaquille O'Neal sent a tweet on his "Real Shaq" account informing his (then) 257,000 followers that he was hanging out in a specific Phoenix shopping mall and would award two free Suns tickets to the first person who responded to his message in person. This was a jarring example of how the Internet is causing the celebrity phenomenon to fork: While most media personalities think the Internet destroys their sense of privacy, guys like Shaq actively use it to give themselves less separation from the rest of society. Shaq wants wants to be bothered by freaks. In general, it's continually amazing how obsessed early adopters of technology are with their own low-level activities. When Dennis Crowley was launching his phone application Foursquare in 2009, he argued, "What we wanted to do is turn life into a video game. You should be rewarded for going out more times than your friends, and hanging out with new people and going to new restaurants and going to new bars-just experiencing things that you wouldn't normally do." to be bothered by freaks. In general, it's continually amazing how obsessed early adopters of technology are with their own low-level activities. When Dennis Crowley was launching his phone application Foursquare in 2009, he argued, "What we wanted to do is turn life into a video game. You should be rewarded for going out more times than your friends, and hanging out with new people and going to new restaurants and going to new bars-just experiencing things that you wouldn't normally do." Rewarded Rewarded. Crowley feels like technology should reward reward him ... for eating at different restaurants! him ... for eating at different restaurants!

1. Gratuitous aside: I find that "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" significantly increases my fear of the Reaper. This song is a failure.

2. It would be easy to get sidetracked by all the goofy details in his five-hundred-word biography, so here are my favorites: Gaines was allegedly born in 1967 in Australia, the son of an Olympic swimmer. For some reason, the bio also mentions that this woman medaled in the Commonwealth Games. He is said to have completed his GED in 1987, which I'm guessing was included for inspirational reasons. A lot of people he knew throughout his life died violently, and Gaines almost perished in a 1992 one-car accident that forced him to get plastic surgery on his face, shoulder, and hands. I still have no idea why a doctor would do plastic surgery on somebody's shoulder. I could understand reconstructive bone surgery, but not cosmetic work. Who looks at a musician's shoulder blades? It seems about as relevant as Chris Gaines getting Tommy John surgery.

3. Of course, retail sales of two million in 2009 would have made it one of the five biggest alb.u.ms of the year. The ongoing deflation of sales figures makes it difficult to find a corollary for how In the Life of Chris Gaines In the Life of Chris Gaines would have performed in the present tense, a.s.suming all the other factors were the same-I would estimate total sales of around 180,000 in the current climate. Maybe less. would have performed in the present tense, a.s.suming all the other factors were the same-I would estimate total sales of around 180,000 in the current climate. Maybe less.

4. Of course, it's entirely possible Brooks enjoyed enjoyed promoting things. Some people are like this. promoting things. Some people are like this.

1. Note: This does not work if the person whose name you can't recall happens to be named Jamie.

1. The spread offense was so culturally pervasive in 2008 that it briefly became a plot point in season three of Friday Night Lights, Friday Night Lights, undoubtedly the first time a prime-time TV show felt the need to respond to what was happening in major college football. undoubtedly the first time a prime-time TV show felt the need to respond to what was happening in major college football.

2. I feel like the addition of radios inside the helmets of NFL quarterbacks has been an overlooked innovation in how football embraces change. The Cleveland Browns invented QB radios in 1956, but they were banned until 1994. This legislation, along with the use of instant replay for officials, shows how football is unusually willing to let technology dictate performance. More conservative sports (like baseball or soccer) would fight such modernization tooth and nail.

3. I feel an obligation to note that it wasn't really Favre's fault that announcers were in love with him. But it kind of was, it kind of was, because Favre perpetuated it, too. He openly played to their girlish wors.h.i.+p. because Favre perpetuated it, too. He openly played to their girlish wors.h.i.+p.

4. As a senior in 1981, USC's Marcus Allen rushed for 2,432 yards in twelve games. This is both astounding and understandable when you watch tape of the Trojans from that season-it often seems like half of the offensive plays were simple toss sweeps over the right tackle (the so-called "Student Body Right").

5. This is especially significant within the context of football's traditional relations.h.i.+p with hierarchical control: Since the 1970s, much of football's fascist reputation had to do with the way offensive plays are dictated by the coaching staff, often from a press box a hundred feet above the field of play. The actual athletes sometimes seem like p.a.w.ns. But choice routes gave autonomy to receivers.

6. ESPN commentator Tom Jackson once called Martz "The worst kind of idiot-an idiot who thinks he's a genius."

7. Malzahn is now at Auburn.

8. Gillman introduced the idea of the vertical pa.s.sing game in the 1950s and '60s.

9. Bellard popularized the wishbone option at the University of Texas in 1967, having taken the idea from Charles "Spud" Carson, a junior high coach in Fort Worth, Texas.

10. Coryell is the father of the modern pro pa.s.sing game, particularly with the San Diego Chargers in the early 1980s. He also changed the way people looked at collegiate talent: He won 104 games with the San Diego State Aztecs by almost exclusively recruiting from junior colleges.

11. Easy example: In the annual New York Times Magazine New York Times Magazine "The Year in Ideas" issue for 2008, there was a brief examination of the Wildcat formation and the spread offense. The piece concludes with a dismissive quote from Aaron Schatz, a contributor to "The Year in Ideas" issue for 2008, there was a brief examination of the Wildcat formation and the spread offense. The piece concludes with a dismissive quote from Aaron Schatz, a contributor to Pro Football Prospectu Pro Football Prospectus. "Wildcat got crazy," said Schatz. "It's a silly fad, like leg warmers or parachute pants." Time may prove Schatz correct, but his condescension ignores some irrefutable results. The year before Miami started using the Wildcat, they were 115; the next season, the Dolphins went 115 and won the AFC East. In 2007, Ole Miss went 39, so they fired their head coach and hired Wildcat innovator Houston Nutt; with almost identical talent, Ole Miss won nine games in 2008 and were the only school to defeat the University of Florida all season. Ole Miss ultimately beat Leach's Texas Tech in the 2009 Cotton Bowl.

12. Although some of them did become addicted to gambling and cocaine.

13. This refers to a defensive alignment that has three linemen and four line-backers. And if you didn't know that already, I am pretty f.u.c.king impressed you're still hanging with this. It should also be noted that certain NFL teams have succeeded wildly with the 3-4 defense even when it was unpopular, particularly in the AFC; Miami won champions.h.i.+ps with the 3-4 during the mid-1970s and Pittsburgh has used a 3-4 attack for more than twenty years.

14. Unlike the 4-3 or the 3-4, the name of the 46 defense does not indicate the number of linemen and linebackers who are on the field. The reason Bears defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan called this formation the 46 was because its effectiveness hinged on the play of Chicago strong safety Doug Plank, whose jersey number was 46.

15. Even Halberstam would ultimately concede that his '74 piece did not hold up over time: In 2001, he wrote a much more affectionate essay called "How I Fell in Love with the NFL."

16. It was the year the Redskins played the Bills, and I was at a party. How I was at a party on a Sunday night in Grand Forks, North Dakota, that somehow wasn't wasn't a Super Bowl party is pretty hard for me to fathom, but this was around the same time I started drinking "proactively." a Super Bowl party is pretty hard for me to fathom, but this was around the same time I started drinking "proactively."

1. In March of '09, this is what Darryl Sterdan of the Toronto Sun Toronto Sun wrote about U2: "After more than a quarter-century of virtually uninterrupted tenure as The Most Important Band in the World, it would appear Bono, The Edge, Larry Mullen Jr. and Adam Clayton have reached the ultimate plateau in a band's life-the magical place where fame meets irrelevance." What this "irrelevance" means is that U2 is still a major act that Darryl Sterdan has to write about, because that's his job-but he's run out of obvious things to say about their iconography. wrote about U2: "After more than a quarter-century of virtually uninterrupted tenure as The Most Important Band in the World, it would appear Bono, The Edge, Larry Mullen Jr. and Adam Clayton have reached the ultimate plateau in a band's life-the magical place where fame meets irrelevance." What this "irrelevance" means is that U2 is still a major act that Darryl Sterdan has to write about, because that's his job-but he's run out of obvious things to say about their iconography.

2. The film is a black comedy about a nonglamorous woman (Toni Collette) who dreams of getting married and is obsessed with ABBA. Like most films involving ABBA, it's set in Australia.

3. In the 2002 doc.u.mentary The Winner Takes It All: The ABBA Story, The Winner Takes It All: The ABBA Story, Benny Andersson casually describes his divorce from bandmate Anni-Frid Lyngstad (after twelve years of marriage) like this: "It's no big deal here. You get divorced, your wife marries somebody else and they get kids and you get new kids with your family and we can all join together. It's not like you never see each other again. It doesn't work like that in Sweden." Not being Swedish, it's hard for me to tell how accurate this sentiment is, but it does stay consistent with how ABBA never let the end of their dual relations.h.i.+ps negatively affect the band's onstage interaction. Benny Andersson casually describes his divorce from bandmate Anni-Frid Lyngstad (after twelve years of marriage) like this: "It's no big deal here. You get divorced, your wife marries somebody else and they get kids and you get new kids with your family and we can all join together. It's not like you never see each other again. It doesn't work like that in Sweden." Not being Swedish, it's hard for me to tell how accurate this sentiment is, but it does stay consistent with how ABBA never let the end of their dual relations.h.i.+ps negatively affect the band's onstage interaction.

4. "Fernando," "Chiquit.i.ta," "Put on Your White Sombrero," "Hasta Manana," etc.

5. The Russian prime minister has denied that he paid the ABBA tribute band Bjorn Again to perform for him and eight other people at a Russian lake resort in 2009. This is such a strange thing to deny that it obviously must have happened. According to Bjorn Again member Jennifer Robb (who portrays Anni-Frid) in the UK online newspaper The Daily Telegraph The Daily Telegraph: "The prime minister didn't stand but he and his wife, or whoever it was, were jigging about on the sofa and singing the words to 'Honey Honey.' All his officials were singing away and doing a finger-pointing dance. They really got into it, even though there were only nine of them. At the end, the prime minister shouted 'bravo, bravo' and gave us great applause."

1. Rosenbaum would later write a controversial nonfiction book t.i.tled Explaining Hitler, Explaining Hitler, which was controversial for suggesting that Hitler was (possibly) an un-evil infant. which was controversial for suggesting that Hitler was (possibly) an un-evil infant.

2. Yes, they were related.

1. The failure of which, it should be noted, helped Coca-Cola immensely. The introduction of New c.o.ke was either the smartest or luckiest marketing scheme of the 1980s.

2. When I first wrote this sentence, it read, "Since the advent of digital video recorders, I never see TV commercials." But I suppose that isn't accurate; I don't watch watch commercials, but I do commercials, but I do see see them. I see them flicker across the screen at four times the normal speed, minus the audio. But maybe this is enough. Maybe all I need to do is see them, because I can figure out the rest on my own. them. I see them flicker across the screen at four times the normal speed, minus the audio. But maybe this is enough. Maybe all I need to do is see them, because I can figure out the rest on my own.

1. "Some fans have told me that their children hear me saying 'we are all on drugs' and they take it literally because they don't know any better," Cuomo later told Spin. Spin. "And that makes me feel horrible ... In my mind, love and drugs are the same thing-we're all numbing ourselves or stimulating ourselves with intense relations.h.i.+ps or TV or movies or music and we use these like drugs." In other words, this is a figurative phrase that requires a literal reading, which is not the same as irony. "And that makes me feel horrible ... In my mind, love and drugs are the same thing-we're all numbing ourselves or stimulating ourselves with intense relations.h.i.+ps or TV or movies or music and we use these like drugs." In other words, this is a figurative phrase that requires a literal reading, which is not the same as irony.

2. Hence the 1980 short film Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe.

3. Most Herzog quotes in this essay are coming from the aforementioned book Herzog on Herzog Herzog on Herzog (edited by Paul Cronin), simply because it is one of the few examples of the director speaking in an unfiltered context. (edited by Paul Cronin), simply because it is one of the few examples of the director speaking in an unfiltered context.

4. In fact, he briefly suspended his 2008 campaign (in late October) when the aging woman fell ill. She ultimately died one day before her grandson's election.

5. Immediately after Obama's feel-good victory in fall of 2008, writers as sensible as Joan Didion expressed the fear that this might push America into an "irony-free zone" where "innocence, even when it looked like ignorance, was now prized." This was similar to the "Death Of Irony" that was supposed to happen following the terrorist attacks of 9/11. In both cases, the Death Of Irony lasted roughly five weeks. Irony is like Jason Voorhees.

6. The day after Obama was elected president, Nader said the key question that would be facing the new leader was whether he would be an "Uncle Sam" for the American people or an "Uncle Tom" for giant corporate interests. This was essentially the end of Nader's TV career. But what's even crazier about the content of this statement is that Nader was not using the term "Uncle Tom" the way 99.9 percent of Americans perceive it; he was using it as it strictly applies to the character from Harriet Beecher Stowe's 1852 novel, which did not necessarily depict Tom pejoratively. Nader doesn't understand how the nonliteral world operates. That's his paradoxical value.

7. Here's an unasked question about The Office The Office: In both the American and British versions, the program is shot as a doc.u.mentary. The characters are directly interviewed and often acknowledge the camera crew with knowing glances. But why is this office being filmed? Why is someone making an around-the-clock doc.u.mentary of these ordinary people, even when they leave the building? What is the purpose? And when, in theory, would the filming conclude?

8. This is from an interview conducted by Jennifer Wallace for the book Predictions Predictions.

9. The one detail in the song that was changed was the age of the real-life letter writer: In the lyrics, she is described as eighteen. She was actually fourteen.

10. I suspect Cuomo now realizes this and is somewhat uncomfortable with what that means. He has taken to giving conflicting reports about what happened in the wake of this recording. In 2006, he claimed he had never contacted the girl who wrote the letter and knew nothing about her. In 2008, he said the woman was actually receiving royalties from "Across the Sea," due to his use of specific lines from her original note. I suppose it is possible both of these things are true, but highly unlikely.

1. My physical appearance might play a role in this.

2. Kaczynski's brother David deduced that the Unabomber was probably Ted when he noticed that several of Ted's pet phrases were used in the manifesto, most notably the term "cool-headed logicians."

3. I would never argue that Siegel isn't a smart guy, nor would I expect him to take my criticism of his work seriously. However, much of this book is inundated with weirdly transparent explanations for his cultural values. At one point in Against the Machine, Against the Machine, he attacks Malcolm Gladwell, insisting, "Back in high school, people like him were the reason you drank, brooded over Kierkegaard's he attacks Malcolm Gladwell, insisting, "Back in high school, people like him were the reason you drank, brooded over Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling, Fear and Trembling, and imagined which celebrated public figures would speak at your (imminent) funeral." I halfway a.s.sumed the next sentence was going to be "And you know what else-Gladwell thinks his hair is so cool, but it's totally not." and imagined which celebrated public figures would speak at your (imminent) funeral." I halfway a.s.sumed the next sentence was going to be "And you know what else-Gladwell thinks his hair is so cool, but it's totally not."

4. Well, maybe.