Grumbles From The Grave Part 5

But, if you must have it, how about this: "Mark Twain invented the time travel story; six years later H.G. Wells perfected it and revealed its paradoxes. Between them they left little for latecomers to do. But they are still fun to write. Some stories are ch.o.r.es, some are fun-this is one I enjoyed writing."

But I would still prefer for you to blurb it. If an author writes his own blurb, he is caught between the horns of conceit and false modesty.

FREE OPTION.

January 27, 1961: Robert A. Heintein to Lurton Bla.s.singame My whorish instincts protest the idea of a free option even for six months-but I'm willing to go along, pursuant to your advice. He [a would-be producer] would be a lot better off (safer) and I would be happier if there were some minor cash involved, with the deal spelled out. The option money needn't be much and it could have renewable dates by small payments. However, I suspect that he does not want to sign a formal option now because that necessitates spelling out the deal which is being optioned-and he probably hasn't any clear idea what the deal might be until he has a treatment to show financial backers.

CHAPTER VII.

BUILDING.

COLORADO SPRINGS.

EDITOR'S NOTE: When Robert and I were first married, we lived in Colorado Springs. After the motion picture script sold, it was necessary to move to Hollywood, as Robert was to be technical director for what became Destination Moon.

After the shooting on the film was completed, Robert's contract was up, so we returned to Colorado to build our house there. While we were building, the Korean War began-although it was called a "police action, " it was a full-fledged war; the draft was still in place, and prices on everything began to soar. Robert might be called back to do engineering, and although I was on inactive duty, there was the ever-present possibility that I might be called back to active duty. Neither of those things happened, but we went through a period of not knowing whether we would have to leave our house half-built and go off to war.

In one of these letters there is mention of the quickly rising costs of lumber; Camp Carson nearby Colorado Springs had been renamed Fort Carson, and an enormous building program had begun there. We were caught by the rising prices on everything needed to complete the house.

Before Robert began writing, he had some interest in planning single-family houses. He had several plans of his own. However, those were for a flat area, and the lot we purchased was on a hillside. Neither one of us was prepared, though, for the intricacies of the actual building of a house.

I was required to read Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House. We both avoided the mistakes in that story, but we made a brand new set of our own.

July 9, 1950: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame . . . We are going ahead with building and have the foundation in, the services in, and the septic tank built, but I shall have to shut down the job again and wait if monies do not come in. Yes, I know I could remedy that by giving you new copy and I wish to Heaven I could-but I am so fouled up with . . . handling payroll and purchases, and trying to be an architect that I can't write stories. I continue to have much trouble with the contractor.

August 13, 1950: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame ... I am sorry to get tough with him, but I 've got to have the money. The checks you sent me got me past this week's payroll-but I had a serious disappointment on another matter this Week and I am more strapped than ever. In the meantime, the army is reactivating a base here with a million dollar construction program and all local lumberyards immediately boosted their prices. Lumber has gone up 60% around here in the last six weeks. Nevertheless, the roof is being framed up now; we'll have it closed in by the end of this week-and we'll move in around Labor Day, if my nerves hold out. Then I intend to stop everything and start turning out new copy.

August 14, 1950: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame Your letter of 11 August arrived today and caused us much jubilation ... an advance check on the NAL contract twice the size we had expected, news that you had sold "Roads" ["The Roads Must Roll"] for TV, and news of the Kellogg show [Tom Corbett, s.p.a.ce Cadet] for s.p.a.ce Cadet. Ginny and I are agreed that you are the original miracle man. All this adds up to no more real money worries for Robert and a.s.surance that we can finish our house in an orderly fas.h.i.+on without a mortgage.

EDITOR'S NOTE: We moved into the house Labor Day weekend. It was closed in, glazed, but the clerestory needed to have the gla.s.s bricks installed, so we spent the weekend pus.h.i.+ng oak.u.m into the s.p.a.ces around the gla.s.s bricks, "floating" them. I obtained a large roll of brown paper and stapled it to the wall studs. At least we had a place to live in. The subfloor was laid, but it would be a The Heinleins' house at Colorado Springs. They had th'e house built themselves and ran into many difficulties-not the least being a shortage of building materials due to the war in Korea!

long time before the house was finished. And Robert sat down and wrote The Puppet Masters.

September 13, 1950: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame We finally managed to get moved into our new house. It is far from finished; while the outer sh.e.l.l is closed in solid, the interior is a forest of studs and butcher paper temporary part.i.tions. We do have plumbing and we do have kitchen fixtures and we do have heating; we'll make out.

I am still much badgered by bills, mechanics, unavoidable ch.o.r.es, and such, but I have a place to write and should now be able to continue at it fairly steadily.

February 11, 1951: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame . . . We managed to spend $6,000 in six days-which turns out to be awfully hard work. I have been trying to buy and get onto the job every bit of metal, every last stick of wood, needed to complete this house.

Incidentally, it just nicely cleaned us out again. The laughable price freeze [because of the wartime economy] came much too late to do a man who is building any good. But, with the material on hand, I now know that I can and will finish.

May 13, 1951: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame We put up the ceiling this past week; tomorrow we paint it and start putting up wall paneling. The house looks like an Okie camp, Sunday is the only day I can do paperwork as I have mechanics working both days and evenings. I put in about a fourteen-hour day each day and am gradually losing my bay window. Housebuilding is most impractical, but we are slowly getting results.

June 10, 1951: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame It is ten-thirty and I must be up around six. Today being Sunday I worked all day alone on the house. It continues to be an unending headache, but we are beginning to see the end-about another month if we don't run into more trouble. The biggest headache, now that the bank account is refreshed, is finding and keeping mechanics. This town is in a war building boom and every mechanic has his pick of many jobs. I should have four or five working; I have two, plus myself. I work at any trade which is missing at the moment. Fortunately, I can do most of the building trades myself, after a fas.h.i.+on. I have a stone mason doing cabinet work, which will give you some idea of the difficulties of getting help. Often I think of your comment, more than a year ago, that you hoped I would not have trouble but never knew of a case of a person building his own home who did not have lots of trouble. Well, we surely have had it, but the end is in sight-if I don't go off my rocker first.

What am I saying? I am off my rocker!

April 17, 1961: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame Actually, I am not studying Arabic very much nor am I writing; I am moving ma.s.sive boulders with pick and shovel and crowbar and block and tackle, building an irrigation dam-a project slightly smaller than the Great Pyramid but equal to Stonehenge. I no longer have any "Project Stonehenge:" The creation of a decorative pool was undertaken by the Heinleins alone-and made them a two-, wheelbarrow family.

fat on my tummy at all but have a fine new collection of aches, pains, bruises, and scratches.

May 15, 1961: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame We are now a two-wheelbarrow family. That accounts for the delay.

Don't brush it off. Are you a two-wheelbarrow family? How many two-wheelbarrow families do you know? I mean to say: two-Cadillac families are common; there are at least twenty in our neighborhood, not counting Texans. But we are the only two-wheelbarrow family I know of.

It came about like this: I started building Ginny's irrigation dam. Simultaneously Ginny was spreading sheep manure, peat moss, gravel, etc., and it quickly appeared that every time she wanted the wheelbarrow I had it down in the arroyo-and vice versa. A crisis developed, which we resolved by going whole hog and phoning Sears for a second one. Now we are both happily round-shouldered all day long, each with his (her) own wheelbarrow.

(Live a little! Buy yourself a second one. You don't know what luxury is until you have a wheelbarrow all your own, not constantly being borrowed by your spouse.) This dam thing (or d.a.m.n' thing) I call (with justification) Project Stonehenge; it is the biggest civil engineering feat since the Great Pyramid. The basis of it is boulders, big ones, up to two or three tons each-and I move them into place with block and tackle, crowbar, pick and shovel, sweat, and clean Boy Scout living. Put a manila sling around a big baby, put one tackle to a tree, another to another tree, take up hard and tight with all my weight on each and lock them-then pry at the beast with a ninety-pound crowbar of the sort used to move freight cars by hand, gaining an inch at a time.

Then, when at last you have it tilted up, balanced, .and ready to fall forward, the sling slips and it falls back where it was. This has been very good for my soul.

(And my waist line-I am carrying no fat at all and am hard all over. Well, moderately hard.) EDITOR 's NOTE: Robert enjoyed doing rock work, and the grounds were greatly improved by three decorative pools and revetments done with rocks.

SANTA CRUZ COUNTY.

EDITOR 's NOTE: We loved our home in Colorado Springs-Robert had done so much in the way of rock work outside, and we had lavished our care on it for some years.

But there were two reasons why we had to leave. One was my health. FotAome years, it had become increasingly evident that I could not stand the alt.i.tude-I had "mountain sickness. " The other reason was that the house was too small for our files of papers and books. We left Colorado on the seventeenth anniversary of our marriage, to look on the West Coast for land for building. Three months were spent on this quest before we bought the land in Santa Cruz.

We remained in that house until 1987, at which time we found that it was too far from medical services, which Robert needed quickly at times. So we looked in Carmel, and found a suitable house, although it had all the drawbacks of the ones we had decided against in Santa Cruz.

February 1, 1966: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame We moved into this house because it is twenty miles closer to the land we finally bought than is the apartment in Watson-ville and is the closest rental we could find to our new land-not very close at that: nine miles in a straight line, fourteen by road, twenty-six minutes by car. But the house, besides being nearer, is a vast improvement on the apartment. It is all on one floor, has three bedrooms (which gives me a separate room for my study), two full baths, a dishwasher, a garbage grinder, a double garage, and a gas furnace with forced air instead of electric strip heaters. It is an atrocity in other respects-such as a large view window which has an enchanting view solely of a blank wall ten feet away-but we will be comfortable in it and reasonably efficient until we get our new house built.

The dismal saga of how we almost-not-quite bought another parcel of land is too complex to tell in detail.

Those forty-three acres of redwoods located spang on the San Andreas Fault-Ginny thought I had my heart set on them, I thought she had her heart set on them . . . and in fact both of us were much taken by them. It is an utterly grand piece of land-very mountainous, two rus.h.i.+ng, gus.h.i.+ng mountain streams with many waterfalls, thousands of redwoods up to two hundred feet tall. But in fact it was better suited to playing Gotterdammerung than it was to building a year-round home. Most of the acreage was so dense as to be of no possible use, and the forest was so dense that the one site for a house would receive sunlight perhaps three hours each day. Mail delivery would be a mile away ...

I agreed but insisted that we shop first for houses ... as designing and building a house would cost me, at a minimum, the time to write at least one book as a hidden expense. So we did-but it took me only a couple of days to admit that it was impossible to buy a house ready built which would suit me, much less Ginny. Firetraps built for flash, with other people's uncorrectable mistakes built into them! (Such as a lovely free-form swimming pool so located as to be overlooked by neighbors' windows! Such as Romex wiring, good for only five years, concealed in the wooden walls of a house . . .) The new property has none of the hazards of the property we backed away from buying. It is on a well-paved county road and has 220-volt power and telephone right at the property line. It does not have gas (we expect to use butane for cooking, fuel oil for heating), does not have sewer, does not have munic.i.p.al water. So we'll use a septic tank and a spread field. It has its own spring, which delivers a steady flow at present of 6,000 gallons per day. We had a very heavy rainstorm over this last weekend, so I went up and checked the flow again and was pleased to find that it had not increased at all-i.e., it apparently comes from deep enough that one storm does not affect it. I'll keep on checking it during the coming dry season but we were a.s.sured by a neighbor (not the owner) Heinlein surveying at Bonny Doon. The Heinleins moved to Santa Cruz in the mid-sixties.

that the spring had not failed in the past seventy-five years. I plan to try to develop it still farther and plan to install not only a swimming pool but two or three ornamental pools and ponds of large capacity against the chance that we might run short of water in the dry season. But I'm not worried about it; it is redwood country and where there are redwoods there is water. The land is a gentle, rolling slope, with the maximum pitch being around one in ten and the house site level and about forty feet higher than the road. The parcel is clear but it has on it some eight or nine clumps of redwoods, plus a few big, old live oaks which look like pygmies alongside the sequoias. These are sequoia sempervirens, the coastal redwood, and ours are second growth, about a hundred feet tall, up a yard thick, and around ninety years old. There are also a few other conifers, ponde-rosa, fir, cypress, etc., but they hardly show up among the redwoods. I have not yet conducted a tree census, but we seem to have something in excess of a hundred of the very big trees, plus younger ones of various sizes. Each redwood clump is a.s.sociated with the cut stumps of the first growth, six or eight feet thick and eight or ten feet high. Since redwood does not decay, they are still there, great silvery free-form sculptures. Ginny is planning one garden designed around a group of them.

I am very busy designing the house. I am anxious to start building as soon as possible as I really can't expect to get any writing done, at least until this new house is designed and fully specified. Building becomes a compulsive fever with me; it drives everything else out of my mind.

April 6, 1966: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame ... I'm still bending over a hot drawing board-I'm very slow, for I am not an architect and have to look up almost every detail. But the end is in sight. As soon as I can get a water system hooked onto our spring and a driveway bulldozed, we will probably buy a thirdhand trailer and move onto the place during building-Ginny is now willing to do this in order to move our cat here. There has been a rabies scare in Colorado Springs; all animals are under a quarantine and we are having to keep him in a kennel with our vet.

June 22, 1966: Virginia Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame [Robert] is still relaxing, since when he spends too much time out of bed, he tires very easily . . .

Every once in a while I hear some sounds which seem to indicate that our cat is trying to despoil a bird's nest nearby ... He seems to like it here, hasn't started that hike back to Colorado which I predicted.

July 1, 1966: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame I have received, but not yet read, The Psychology of Sleep- but will read it as soon as I can stay awake that long; I want to find out why I am so sleepy. I seem to be practically well now, save that I am sleepy all the time; I'm sleeping twelve and fourteen hours a day. I get up late, have breakfast, and can barely stay awake long enough to go back to bed-get up again, get a couple hours of paperwork done (with great effort), men take a nap. Resolve to get something done after dinner but find myself going to bed again. It is not unpleasant save that I am totally useless and the work piles up. The incision seems to have healed perfectly and my surgeon says that after the 15th of July I can do anything I wish-lift 200 Ibs . . ( which will be remarkable as I never could in the past. (Oh, off the floor, yes-but not a clean press up into the air.) EDITOR 's NOTE: Robert's health was somewhat fragile. From time to time he would be required to have various major and minor surgery. Although he was able to do extremely heavy work at times, illnesses such as influenza hit him hard, and it might take weeks for him to recover.

These illnesses fell into major and minor groupings. In his early days he had TB; recovery took about a year. In 7970, he had a perforated diver ticulum, undiscovered for seventeen days; it took a long recovery period. Because of the shock to his system, he followed that with herpes Zoster. Because the doctors were afraid to remove his gall bladder at the time they operated for peritonitis, that operation had to be deferred until 1971, when he had recovered from s.h.i.+ngles.

In 1978 in Moorea, he had a TIA {Transient Ischemic Attack, a temporary interference of blood to the brain], which resulted in his undergoing a carotid-bypa.s.s operation.

August 15, 1966: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame Ginny is fretted and frustrated because she does not yet have water at the building site-badly needed to stabilize a very dusty excavation and to permit her to start ground cover for great, raw cuts that will wash away if not planted before the heavy rains. Someone warned us when we came here that Santa Cruz was very much a manana place, with the leisurely att.i.tude affecting even the gringos-and that person was so very right. We were promised a pumping system in two weeks; it has now been more than a month-if we don't have water in a few days, I am going to have to get very nasty with that subcontractor. Which I dread.

We can't pour concrete for the house until we have [a building] permit, but there are lots of other things to be done. I still hope and expect that we will be closed in by the rains and able to move in, even though the interior will still have to be finished-if Ginny and I both don't wind up in straitjackets before then.

September 4, 1966: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame We have (a) started the house, (b) acquired an unhousebro-ken kitten, and (c) had a houseguest on our hands for three days when we literally have no room nor facilities for an ill houseguest-so we are running in circles. . . .

The kitten is a fine little girl cat who buzzes all the time . . . and c.r.a.ps right under this typewriter with healthy regularity . . . and gets herself lost under the house . . . and insists on sleeping under Ginny's head . . . and throws our tomcat into a bad state of nerves most of the time. Apparently she isn't old enough to smell like a girl cat to him; she is simply a monster who has invaded his home and who takes up entirely too much of Mama's and Papa's time. But she is another lame duck; Ginny rescued her when she was about to be sent to the pound. Oh, me. Once we get her housebroken and once she comes into heat I think she will turn out to be a most welcome addition to the household-right now she's a burr under the saddle.

I finally fired our silly architect and took over the job myself ...

We have water now, on a temporary pump hookup from a temporary tank . . . The site is no longer the horrible dust desert that it was; [Ginny] has it watered down (endless s.h.i.+fting of the single sprinkler the temporary hookup will run) and little green shoots coming up to hold the soil against the coming rains. Between times she keeps coffee and lemonade and candy bars on the job and pa.s.ses them around (very good for morale), and makes trips down to Santa Cruz as needed for almost anything-and keeps house and cooks and keeps books, and falls into bed dead beat each night. (But the extreme effort-is going to get us into our house by the rainy season-we can hardly wait.) . . . asking me to lecture. The fee is satisfactory and I have in mind an outline for an appropriate lecture. Will you take over from here and accept subject to the following conditions? Mr. Heinlein's terribly busy schedule (i.e., mixing concrete, carrying block, and pus.h.i.+ng a shovel, which is none of his business) will not permit him to accept a date to lecture earlier than the first of the year, and also I would expect transportation, to wit, round trip by air from San Francisco to Chicago.

... I guess that is about all, and I've still got to do some electrical work tonight-calculate the maximum working loads for the whole house and try to see if I can use a four-wire, three-phase cable underground . . . This is just one of the hairy little jobs the architect left undone.

The new cat is out again and again under the house-no way to get under, but she manages. Ginny has just gone out in the dark with a dish of cat food and a flashlight, to try to lure her out. Never a dull moment around here- November 21, 1966: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame I enclose a picture taken last week of the state of the job. As you can see, the masonry walls are almost complete. Four courses of "bond beam" now go around the top of what you see (looks like all the other courses but has buried in it four half-inch steel bars, poured in place-this building is for all practical purposes a steel-reinforced monolith; there are hundreds and hundreds of pounds of steel concealed in it).

But we are having trouble: (a) the winter rains have started; (b) our mason is being childishly temperamental. The contractor is quite disgusted with him, and I have refrained from telling him off simply because I did not wish to joggle the contractor's elbow-he being a number one conscientious and mature person.

December 4, 1966: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame We are now building between raindrops, but thank G.o.d the masonry on the house is at last all finished. We still have two little masonry outbuildings to put up, a pump house and an electrical service housing, but these won't take long and are neither urgent nor difficult-even I could lay them up. We need about two weeks of dry weather to frame the roof and put on the roofing-but the winter rains have set in unusually early and unusually hard and it could very well be some time in January before we get the roof on. The contractor has decided that the job will work every dry day from now on, including Sat.u.r.days and Sundays. But dry days are scarce. There have been only two fairly dry days this week, it is storming right Robert and Virginia tree planting at Bonny Doon.

now and is supposed to rain even harder tomorrow. But I am not dismayed, as carpentry is not nearly as affected by weather as is masonry. Our worst problem is to get a long enough dry spell to permit us to put in the septic tank and to dig a 200-foot ditch for the services, water, electricity, telephone, and low-voltage messenger lines. This soil is getting very soggy for backhoe operations.

February 3, 1967: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame At the moment, [Ginny] is over at the house site swinging a paint brush . . . The job is still moving but very slowly; it looks from the outside much as it did in the last picture I sent you, but quite a lot has been accomplished inside. We are stalled by the glazing-still no firm date as to when our double-glazing units will arrive. It is not only a strain on us-Ginny in particular, since she has to put up with the primitive housekeeping and cooking facilities of this summer cabin-but also it has had a very bad effect on our general contractor; he's become moody and tempery, and unable to supervise other mechanics without chewing them out-which in my opinion is not the way to get the most out of a man.

February 17, 1967: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame Building-we seem to be frozen in a nightmare. The glazing units still have not arrived-the manager won't even promise a firm date. The water closets and hand basins which were supposed to be in stock in San Jose (it now appears) do not even exist and we must wait until the factory again makes a run of that color. One of the soi-disant "mechanics" who loused up our water system is now suing us for "wages"- trial on the 24th. We have developed a great big bog of quicksand in our driveway, so it must now be rebuilt at G.o.d knows what expense. In the meantime, the wiring progresses at painful slowness ...

But our house in Colorado is sold at last and at not too great a loss-not much immediate cash out of the deal after closing costs and commission, but nevertheless I am much relieved. Ginny continues to swing a paint brush daily while I am slowly getting back to the drawing board to finish the detailing of the cabinet work. We are in good health, we don't owe any bills we can't pay, and Ginny says we can stay out of the red despite all these problems. The weather is beautiful, the rainy season is almost over, and things don't look too bad.

June 27, 1967: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame Nothing else of any real importance today. Ginny is working herself silly everyday on the woodwork finis.h.i.+ng-bleaching and sanding and varnis.h.i.+ng the mahogany; I'm still sweating over a hot drawing board on the last of the finish details; today I'm designing Ginny's office. The cabinetwork and paneling is about 80% finished now; then we have the floors, ceilings, fireplaces, per- manent lighting fixtures, front steps, driveway, and some exterior painting to do-still lots but the end is a faint gleam in the distance.

July 10, 1967: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame This should be the last letter I'll have to write on a card table; Ginny has almost finished the bleaching and varnis.h.i.+ng in my study. And today about half the cabinetwork arrived for her office; soon we will both be properly equipped for the first time in almost two years. Hallelujah! We'll be able at last to get our files straight and get caught up on correspondence and paperwork . . . and I am itching to reach the point where I can start in on new fiction.

Our soil is black loam on top of sand on top of hard pan. I think we can control this driveway situation simply by treating it as a permanent watercourse, accepting that and installing a slaunchwise steel-reinforced concrete ditch alongside. But I dunno. Yesterday my brother Rex told me of a friend of his, a professional soil engineer, who has a similar driveway problem and has not been able to solve it. (But I don't think ours is that bad.) We stayed home on the Fourth of July and worked- did not even get to fire our cannon-can't get at it until the cabinetwork is finished and I can unpack the dining room. But we did go away to Palo Alto this weekend-heard some good music and saw a football game on television, wild excitement for the life we have been leading. In truth we had ourselves an awfully nice time and enjoyed getting away from here. (All but the cat, who thinks it is utterly unfair to cats to put him in a cage and take him to a kennel. But he needed the rest, too; he has been losing fights. I wish I could teach him to fight only smaller cats, or else Arabs-as the general with the eye patch says, it helps if you can arrange to fight Arabs.) We are both in good health and in quite good spirits. It is still a long haul, but we can now see daylight at the end of the tunnel.

October 26, 1967: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame . . . Then your check arrived and all was suns.h.i.+ne. That check almost exactly pays for the driveway-quite a complex and expensive structure because of underground drains for that quicksand problem-and leaves money on hand and November and December royalties for taxes, finish work inside (ceilings and recessed light fixtures), and this and that. No sweat. Utter solvency. Joy. So we declared a holiday, went downtown and bought Ginny a new dress, got hold of friends, and had dinner out, avec mucho alcohol and joviality. Today I have a mild hangover but my morale has never been better.

October 14, 1968: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame After a delay of ca. 5,000 years I have formulated a basic natural law and named it, not for myself, but for the man who first noticed it: Cheops' Law-No building is ever finished on schedule. The guest house has been 90% finished for the past month. It is now 91 % finished. I am working hard every day at my desk. Deus volent, I will yet get some fiction written.

CHAPTER VIII.

FAN MAIL AND OTHER TIME WASTERS.

March 13, 1947: Robert A. Heinlein to Sat.u.r.day Evening Post "Green Hills of Earth" has brought me in such a flood of mail that it has almost ruined me as a writer-I don't have time to write. None of it appears to be from crackpots; about half of it comes from technical men. All of it shows that the United States is still made up of believers and hopers, for they echo the brave words I heard last summer, while standing in the shadow of a V-2 rocket: "-anything we want to do if we want to do it badly enough."

March 17, 1961: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame . . . The rest of my time has been taken up playing scrabble (Ginny wins about 60-40: she has a better vocabulary than I have) and the endless load of correspondence. I've got about a dozen letters on hand from high school and college kids, asking me to help them on term papers-in recent years teachers all over the country have been giving kids a.s.signments which result in me (and, I'm sure, many other writers) receiving letters accompanied by long lists of questions . . . which they want answered last Wednesday . . . and each letter, properly answered, takes a couple of hours of time. h.e.l.l, one college boy even phoned me from West Virginia, wanted to read me the questions over the phone and have me answer them airmail special-otherwise he was going to flunk his English course. This was while I was working sixteen hours a day to cut that ms. for Putnam's, so I told him to go right ahead and flunk his course because I was not going to stop work against a deadline to meet a commitment I had not a.s.sumed.

March 9, 1963: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame ... I am clearing my desk of mail (pounds of fan mail and I'm tempted to burn it!-they all want quick answers, and only one in fifty encloses a stamped and addressed reply envelope)-and when I have that out of the way I will cut this new book, Grand Slam [Farnham's Freehold} or whatever we call it, and try to be free about April Fool's Day.

February 4, 1969: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame (Speaking of the time burned up by overhead work such as that-poor Ginny! Fan mail has gotten utterly out of hand, and about a month ago, in a frantic attempt to get back to writing ms., I dumped it all on her. This morning in came about the 500th letter from still another young man who had read Stranger and wanted to discuss his soul with me. He had been "meditating" and taking courses in "sensativity" (sic). So I pa.s.sed it over to Ginny, my surrogate chela in the guru business. She read it, looked tired, and said wistfully, "You know, I wish I had all the time to meditate that these kids seem to have.") June 4, 1969: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame What would be your opinion if I simply stopped answering mail from strangers?

I ask because the fan mail situation has gotten out of hand. In the past five years the volume has tripled, or more. Unless I keep it answered each day, the acc.u.mulation gets out of hand and it takes me forever to catch up. Yet I cannot answer it daily-even if I were never to write another story, there are still interruptions: trips out of town, houseguests, illnesses, etc.

This may seem trivial; it is not-unsolicited letters from strangers, fan mail plus endless requests for me to go here, speak there, donate mss., advise a beginning writer, these things add up to the major reason why I have not been able to turn out any pay copy in the period since we finished building. Secretarial help does not seem to be the answer. I can't use a full-time secretary and I have never been able to find a satisfactory moonlighter-tried again just this past month and thought I had one, an ex-Navy yeoman. Result: It cost two dollars per letter in wages with the answers to those letters limited to postcards in most cases and never longer than one sheet of the small-size notepaper, plus postage and. materials- and did not save me one minute of time. In fact, it took more of my time than it would had I simply answered them myself.

Form letters won't serve; there is simply too much variety in the incoming mail-I must either draft or dictate each answer. Either Ginny or I must write the answers. Ginny has offered to do all of it (and frequently has coped with a logjam). But I don't want Ginny to do it as it is not fair to her to tie her to a typewriter when she wants and needs to spend every possible minute on landscaping this place (and I want her to landscape-no point in having a lovely place if it is allowed to look moth-eaten). Besides, she cooks, cleans, does all the shopping, and does the not-inconsiderable record keeping and tax work and bill paying and money handling.

So it is either do it myself-or quit answering mail from strangers.

I have been thinking about the following expedient: A form printed on a U.S. postal card reading something like this-"Thank you for your letter, which Mr. Heinlein has read and appreciated. We have no secretary and the volume of mail makes it impossible for me to answer each letter as it deserves. If your letter requires an answer other than this acknowledgment, please send a stamped and self-addressed envelope and refer to file number . . . In the meantime your letter will be held for thirty days in the pending file.

' 'We regret having to use this expedient, but the alternative is for Mr. Heinlein to give up writing stories in favor of answering letters.

"Sincerely, "Virginia Heinlein "(Mrs. Robert A. Heinlein)."

The above, with the surplus words sweated out of it and printed in smaller type, would go on a postcard-and each letter could be acknowledged each day simply by cutting the address off the letter and scotch-taping it to a card. Plus using one of those automatic serial-number stampers.

But it strikes me as an almost certain way to lose friends and antagonize people. Despite the fact that well over half the letters contain the phrase "-while I know you are a very busy man-" the truth is that each writer-reader is so important in his own eyes that he feels sure that his letter is so different, so interesting, so important, that I will happily stop whatever I am doing and answer his letter in full. When he gets one of these printed forms, his reaction will be: "Why, that snotty son of a b.i.t.c.h!"

So what do you think I should do? Quit answering at all? Use this printed acknowledgment? Keep on trying to answer them all? Or some other course I haven't thought of?

June 13, 1969: Robert A. Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame Thank you for your long and thoughtful comments about fan mail. I am glad to have your confirmation that the printed postcard method is a bad idea; I will not use it. But I am much afraid that there is no solution to the problem short of not answering it at all.

In the first place I am not "too conscientious" about it as I do not spend a couple of pages in answering silly questions; Ginny and I have long since cut it to the bone- the normal answer is done on a postcard. If an enclosure is required (such as a list of my books, the commonest enclosure request), we use the smallest note paper. True, I used to write careful answers to intelligent letters-but we gave that up over five years back; we had to.

Let's a.s.sume I could get a college student to answer letters satisfactorily at a dollar a letter (I can't, but let's stipulate it for the moment). That would still cost me a couple of thousand dollars a year-which I think is too much to pay for the questionable privilege of unsolicited mail from strangers. Most of my fan mail does not go through your office; the bulk of it is forwarded from publishers directly or has been addressed to Colorado Springs and forwarded from there (as every public library in die country has that C.S. address). Plus quite a chunk that is addressed to Santa Cruz. It adds up-it usually takes about a half hour each day just to read the fan mail. I can answer it usually, faster than I can read it, if a postcard will suffice. But Ginny is the only other person who can answer it quickly, as she is the only one sophisticated enough in what to answer and what to ignore to be able to do it.

But I do have to read it. Several times, when Ginny and I were especially busy, we have let what appeared to be fan mail pile up unread-and this is a mistake as again and again there has turned out to be one or more actual business letters buried in the fan mail simply because the external appearance (one or two forwardings, with nothing in the return address to tip me) led me to a.s.sume that it was fan mail.

As near as I can find out from inquiries made to other colleagues, I get far more mail than any of my colleagues-for none of the others seems to find fan mail any problem. (I recall a plaint published by James Blish asking readers to please write to him-he needed feedback!) This morning at breakfast we were reading the mail, which included your nice letter-and Ginny sez to me: "Send this one back to L. and let him see how difficult the stuff is to answer." Well, I'm not sending it back but it was from a man and wife in New York who wanted to come out here on his vacation to talk with me. I must turn it down as man who travels a long distance to talk is affronted (reasonably? unreasonably?-either way, his feelings are hurt) if asked to leave in twenty minutes. What he asked for was an "afternoon or evening"-and what he will expect is a full day and late that night. I know, it has happened too many times. For this sort of letter is not at all uncommon; I got one from two students at Oxford University, England, earlier this spring, who wanted to come here this summer and stay an indefinite time; I got one from six students at Temple University who wanted to drive here on their Christmas vacation, camp on the beach, and see me every day. And we told you about the young man from Arizona who drove first to C.S., then here just last week. . . . sweet-talked his way past Ginny, then stayed until I chucked him out four hours later. Plus many others. So now we turn down all requests to come see us ... but such turn-downs must be gentle.

. . . Surely, I could load all the answering onto Ginny; she would hold still for it. But as long as we aren't missing meals I see no reason why she should give up what she wants to do for this purpose-she's carrying her full load anyhow . . .

November 20, 1970: Virginia Heinlein to Lurton Bla.s.singame Yes, sir. We will be careful with graduate students. We answer all letters except those which go into the "screwball" file, the ones from people who are more or less obviously crazy.

EDITOR 's NOTE: We went over to the use of form letters, a checkoff list. There were several different form letters. But I found myself adding handwritten P. S. 's to make them more personal, which consumed even more time. Arthur Clarke was shocked when we told him we were using form letters, but not too much later, he was using them, too.

EDITOR 's NOTE: Lurton saw little of the fan mail, but occasionally a letter arrived addressed to him. In this case, he saw some merit, more than usual, in a letter from a graduate student in English. So he counseled caution in dealing with those.