Three Girls And A Leading Man Part 22

"I'll make new friends," I said, my voice skating awfully close to a snarl.

Tyler shook his head. "You have to just embrace this stuff, Annie. If you never hang out with other theater people, how do you expect to get hired? It's all about networking, whether you like it or not. Just like this whole Jenner Collins thing."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you're all over the internet today," he pointed out. "Looks like they figured out your name, too."

"Yeah," I told him. "Lucky me."

Tyler smirked. "You are lucky. You might not know it yet, but you are. This will be great for your career. And who knows." He put his arm around my shoulder. "If I stay on your good side, it might be great for my career as well."

I shook his arm off and glared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, it can't hurt to be seen with Jenner Collins' new girlfriend, can it?"

Looking at Tyler's smug, flirty grin, I was suddenly overcome with an emotion very close to revulsion. I didn't think I could sit there with him for another second longer.

"I'm sorry, Tyler," I said, standing. "But this has been a long night. I need to get home."

"What?" he asked, looking up at me incredulously. "You haven't even finished your wine!"

"I'm sorry," I said again, reaching into my purse for a few bills. "I really do have to go."

He looked upset for a minute, then finally rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Annie," he said derisively. "I honestly don't know why I bothered with someone like you anyhow."

For a moment I was temped to ask him what he meant by that, what someone like me was like. I looked down at him and decided it didn't matter. I truly couldn't care less what Tyler, or anyone like him, thought of me.

"Thanks, Tyler," I said softly, before turning to leave.

Chapter Twenty-seven.

"So," Jenner said, smiling at me across the table. "How are you handling all of this tabloid nonsense?"

I grinned back. Jenner had asked me to meet him for lunch in his hotel. The restaurant was one of those fancy places that made me feel underdressed no matter what I had on. But at least it was warm in here. I could not say the same for my place.

"It's fine," I told him. "I think I've finally convinced my mom that I'm not moving to L.A. to be your mistress."

He laughed. "I am sorry about all of that. It's one of those things I've grown used to. I almost forget how ridiculous it truly is."

I shrugged. "It's really not a big deal," I a.s.sured him. "My best friends from home have taped everything that's been on TV and printed out everything from the internet to put in a sc.r.a.pbook. So at least it's been fun for someone."

Jenner laughed again, and I smiled. It was funny how comfortable I now felt around him. It had only been a few short months ago when the very sound of his voice on my phone had practically pushed me into a panic attack.

Our waiter appeared with our meals-seared salmon for me, a steak for him-and Jenner thanked him politely. It struck me how nice he always was to the people around him. You would never guess he was a multi-millionaire Hollywood star.

"So, Annie," he said, beginning to cut his steak. "I have a few things I wanted to talk to you about."

I felt my heartbeat quicken. I had a.s.sumed that this lunch date was intended only to apologize for the tabloid bulls.h.i.+t, but maybe there was something more. We were only a few weeks away from the scheduled end of our show. We would either move on or shut down. One way or another, this part of my life was almost over.

He pointed at my food with his fork. "Eat!" he urged, smiling.

I grinned and took a bite. The food was delicious but it made me feel a pang for Jen. I hadn't had much besides Raman noodles and mac and cheese since I left our house.

"The show is going to New York," Jenner said casually, before taking another bite of his steak. I stared at him while he chewed. "The producers have asked that we re-cast a few roles, get some bigger names involved."

I wondered briefly if he had brought me here to break the news that I would not be invited to New York. It was the strangest thing-for one moment I felt the strongest rush of relief at the thought.

"They would very much like for you to continue in your role, however," Jenner said.

I stared at him for a moment. "Wow," I whispered. "That's...that's really an honor. Thank you."

He smiled at me. "You've earned it."

I turned back to my food, wondering why I didn't feel more excited. I had not been lying about the opportunity being an honor. To be chosen to originate a role off-Broadway-well, it was a pretty big deal. But I felt no rush of joy, no exhilaration at the thought.

"When will we be going?" I asked.

"That's the other thing I wanted to tell you," Jenner said. "I won't actually be going with you guys."

I looked at him in surprise. "Really? Why not?" I smiled suddenly, remembering our earlier conversation. "Did your agent finally convince you to sign on for another blockbuster?"

He laughed. "Not quite. In fact, my agent is a little upset with me these days." He took another bite of food and I waited again while he chewed. "Do you remember when I told you about my plans for a new company in Detroit?" he finally asked.

I nodded.

"Well, I've just managed to get the last of the funding I need and we've found a s.p.a.ce in the city. We've identified a playwright we'd like to work with and we're looking at the summer for our first production. It looks like this is the real deal."

"Holy s.h.i.+t," I whispered, now feeling the excitement that had been missing earlier. A brand new company, right in the city. Knowing Jenner, they'd be finding amazing shows to do. And he had said he wanted to set up an educational component. I could see it all so clearly. "That's going to be amazing, Jenner," I said firmly. "I know it will."

"Thank you," he said. I had the impression he was watching me closely, like he was waiting for something.

"Maybe...maybe when the show is done in New York, I could help out," I said uncertainly, hoping I wasn't overstepping my bounds.

Jenner didn't respond for a moment. I still had the feeling he was waiting for something. "You should definitely call me when you're done. That is, if you don't decide to stay in New York. This show will be pretty big for your resume."

I tried to imagine that. Living in New York and going out on auditions. Another c.r.a.ppy apartment like the one I lived in now. Not knowing anyone except for the same people I'd had dinner with the week before. Going home a few times a year to see the girls. Danny getting big without me.

"I have to say, I'm a little surprised," Jenner said, rousing me from my thoughts.

"About what?"

"I was sure when I told you about the company you'd be begging me to take you back to Detroit," he said, raising his eyebrows at me. "When I told you about it before you seemed so excited. Much more excited then when I told you about New York."

I stared at him. How could he tell?

"Listen, Annie. You're a wonderful actress. I consider you one of the great finds of my career." He met my eyes and I felt a lump form in my throat. It was one of the nicest compliments anyone had ever given me. "You've earned this role and the chance to take it to New York. But I want to make sure you realize something." He held my gaze. "You don't have to leave to be an actress."

I stared down at my plate, unsure of how to respond. It was the same thing I had been telling people my whole life-that I didn't have to leave home to do the thing I loved. But this was New York. This was an opportunity people would kill for...

"I love this play," I told him finally. "It would be make me sick to leave it for someone else to do."

He nodded, and returned to his food.

"Besides," I said, feeling the need to explain myself further. "Besides, how could I ever make people understand? I had a chance to go to New York and I pa.s.sed it up? No one would ever take me seriously as an actress again."

Jenner was quiet for a moment. "Annie," he finally said, his voice soft. "For a long time I thought that I had to live in L.A. in order to do the work I wanted to do. But I wasn't happy. And honestly..." He paused, and I looked up into his eyes once again. "What the h.e.l.l is the point of any of this if you aren't happy?"

Chapter Twenty-eight.

*There are some women that are afraid to love. Maybe there is some hurt in your past that you've had difficulty getting over. Maybe you're insecure that he will not love you back. In the end, only you can overcome these feelings. Love is the most amazing, precious, reaffirming gift you can receive. Give into it.' -The Single Girl's Guide to Finding True Love After leaving the hotel, I didn't waste any time before calling Ginny. I had my phone to my ear before I'd even gotten into my cab.

"I don't know what to do," I told her as soon as she answered.

"About Nate?" she asked, her voice excited.

"What? No. What are you talking about?" I asked, bewildered.

"Oh...uh, nothing. What were you talking about?"

"I don't know if I want to go to New York," I told her. "I mean, that's crazy, right? I have to go. It's New York."

"Did the show get picked up?"

"Yeah. In the spring. I just had lunch with Jenner and he told me I can continue the role if I want to."

"But you don't know if you want to?" she asked.

"No. It would be crazy to say no. I have to go. It's New York."

"Annie," she said. "You don't have to do anything."

"What would you do?" I asked. "If you knew the best place for your career was in New York, what would you do?"

"I'd ask Josh if there was a way we could make it work," she said simply.

"What if he said no? What if the only way you could go is to leave everyone behind?"

"Annie, this is silly," she said. "I can't tell you what to do. Our situations are very different. I can do my job from anywhere. Besides, I'm married. I don't get to make decisions just for me."

"Doesn't that drive you crazy?" I asked, suddenly desperate to understand her thinking. How she could give up so much of herself for her husband? "Taking other people into account? Don't you ever just wish you could do whatever you wanted?"

"No," she said simply. "I really don't. Josh and I have a partners.h.i.+p. I know you think that's cheesy, but it's the best way I can describe it."

I was quiet for a minute. "I think that's the part you never got," she said softly. "That being with someone is not a burden, not when you're right for each other. We don't hold each other back, Ann. We make each other better."

I had no response to that. I wanted to believe her so bad, to believe that it could be that way. Since I was a kid all I had seen of love was how it could hurt you, how it could drain you. How unbalanced it was. In my experience, there was always a winner and a loser.

"It's really not that different from how you and I are, you know?" she continued. "I mean, since Danny came, you and Jen made a ton of decisions that took him into account. Did you resent him for it?"

"He's a baby, Gin," I said. "How could I resent him?"

"No, he's your family. And it's no different with me and you. Or me and Josh. Family is worth it."

I took a deep breath, letting her words wash over me. "I should go," I said. "I'm almost home."

"You are?" Her voice sounded funny.

"What?" I asked, immediately suspicious.

"Listen, don't get mad at me," she said in a rush. "I didn't think you would mind, honestly."

"Ginny, what'd you do?"

Before she could respond, the cab was pulling up in front of my apartment. There was a man leaning up against the brick wall of the building, the collar of his wool overcoat pulled high against the cold. It didn't matter that part of his face was covered-I would know him anywhere.

"Ginny, what did you do?" I repeated. "Did you give him my address?"

"I'm sorry!" she said. "He called me, I didn't know what else to do. Are you mad? Don't be mad!"

"I have to go," I told her. "The meter's running."

"Call me!" she shouted before I could hang up.

I pulled some bills from my purse and hurriedly paid the cabbie, probably over-tipping in my haste, before climbing out onto the sidewalk, my eyes locked on the man in front of me.

"Hey," Nate said softly.

I felt the strongest urge to burst into tears at the sight of him, but I managed to control myself.

"Hey."

I stared at him for a long moment. He looked so beautiful standing there, outside of my s.h.i.+tty apartment on this s.h.i.+tty street in Chicago.

"Do you...do you wanna come up?" I asked.

"Sure," he said. He hadn't smiled at me, hadn't tried to hug me. Didn't even look at all happy to see me. I had to wonder what he was doing there. Had he come to tell me off? To yell at me about ruining the first chance at happiness I had really had in years?