Hawk: A Stepbrother Romance Part 77

"Then we'll be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives."

"Better than being dead."

"You have a plan?"

"I'm working on it. Access is key. I want the painting out before it's displayed."

He sits up. "Get some rest. I'll lay out what I have for you to study. We have something to do on Sat.u.r.day."

"What?"

"A wedding. Carol wants a proper ceremony with all her friends."

"Are you f.u.c.king kidding me?"

"I kid you not. You're my best man."

He goes inside, and leaves me laying out on the gra.s.s. I pinch my nose and touch my cheek. The blood has clotted. It won't even scar. I slowly get to my knees, then my feet, and send one of the broken swords spinning with a kick. I growl out loud, clutch my hair in my hands and lean on the back of the house. What am I going to do? I'm stuck. I have no choice. It really is over.

It was better this way. Better for me, better for her most of all. I never should have gotten involved at all. I've been a fifth wheel on this whole job, just getting in the way or getting myself in trouble. If I'd never laid eyes on Diana I'd be that much better off.

The way she looked at me today. Her eyes. Such beautiful eyes, so unique. More than just the colors, the spark of light and life, the fire that fills her every mood and movement and word. I want her in a way I've never wanted anything. I was right. I'm in a prison, trapped behind invisible walls, but I'm the one who put them up. I can blame my father all I want to, but he didn't send me looking for hookups or chances to blow money at casinos. I'm the one who did those things, me and no one else.

Diana really does deserve better... and she deserves to make her own choices.

I don't know what to do. I don't want her mother to be hurt. I barely know her, but this is wrong. A no-strings attached lay is one thing, marrying the d.a.m.ned woman is not. He's gone too far, pushed too hard. He's nervous and scared and it's making him sloppy and impulsive, no matter how cool he looks. You know a man when he fights, and I was fighting a man on edge just now. He's going to make a mistake.

I think he's going to get us all killed.

The walk upstairs is a trudge. I'm aching all over, I have a pretty bruise on my face that I hope will fade by Sat.u.r.day, if we actually go through with this insanity. Avoiding Diana will be easy enough, but in two days I'll have to see her.

G.o.d d.a.m.n it.

After I've showered and thrown my gra.s.s stained clothes in the hamper, I fall into bed and stare at the ceiling. After sleeping with Diana all week, lying in bed alone is about the last thing I want to do. I want her here with me so bad. I want to know her. All her stories, all her quirks.

I want to tell her about myself. I want her to know the truth, what I am, what I'm sorry I've become.

We were supposed to be Gentleman Thieves. Anti-heroes fighting the system. Robbing from the rich and... I guess I never gave much to the poor, unless buying too many girl scout cookies counts. The boxes of thin mints sit on the nightstand, lined up like soldiers, taunting me with the smiling faces on the boxes. I'll never be one of those people. Family. Home. These things are not for the likes of me. I thought I was Robin Hood but I'm just sc.u.m, just an up jumped lowlife, taking advantage of girls, taking what isn't mine for my own gain.

Oh. Oh f.u.c.k me.

I'm the bad guy.

Better get my sleep. I've got a wedding to attend. I'll have to press my tux, s.h.i.+ne my shoes, and get ready to rip out my own heart.

The most beautiful girl in the world hates me now, and for her sake I have to let her.

Chapter 12: Diana.

It's not going to be a very formal affair. There is no bridesmaid dress for me, which disappoints me a little.

I was exaggerating about Mom's love life. She dated one guy, Alan, for almost a year. Really sweet guy, always very nice to me, and not in a creepy way. In my girlish way I had hopes that they'd get married, he'd move in, and, well, I'd have a dad. I wanted to be a flower girl; back then I was too young to be a bridesmaid. Now I'm going to be the Maid of Honor and there is something deeply wrong about all this. No wedding dress, no huge production. Mom is going to wear a white skirt and blazer and I'm going to wear a simple yellow sun dress. About twenty people are coming.

Steven hasn't invited anybody, as far as I can tell. The groom's side will be filled out by, well...

Apollo. Apollo is coming with him. He would be, I suppose. He might be the best man. The ceremony is going to be performed in the living room. The reception will be outside, on the green. The museum will be open during all this. Mom insisted, apparently. I am not looking forward to this at all. It's now about nine in the morning, and the wedding is at noon. Mom, being Mom, is already dressed, and pacing in her bedroom. The last time I saw her, she was barefoot, her pumps sitting next to the bed. She doesn't usually wear heels. They're red. I didn't know she owned them.

I guess there's a lot of things about her I don't know.

In my mind I end up going through every possibility. She's been hypnotized or something, he's pressuring her somehow, he's learned some terrible museum secret and he's blackmailing her, but every possibility I come up with is either petty or stupid. They met, they clicked, they eloped, these things happen.

For some reason, I close my door, sit down at the mirror, and go about making myself pretty. I have a necklace with emeralds and tiger eyes that offsets my differently colored eyes, and there's a lot of green in my dress. I'm not being super fancy with my hair, just braiding and tying it back with a ribbon. My eyes are still red rimmed, my cheeks still bear red track marks. I've been crying. A lot.

Before, I didn't know what I was missing. Now I thought I had something special and for so brief a time, just enough to start to know it before it was ripped out of my chest.

I shouldn't get this emotional over a guy, especially a guy I had a fling with, basically.

It's just that it feels like more than that.

He wanted to tell me something, but he couldn't make himself do it. I don't know what that means. I don't know what anything means anymore. Even that stack of acceptance letters on my desk feels hollow. I can do what I want, on my own terms, something I wanted for so long. Mom, Charity, everybody is so sure that happiness is right around the corner. What if it was, and I turned the wrong way?

I'm being silly. I don't believe in stupid things like love at first sight. I barely even know him. He lost his virginity to a stripper, even if he did make it sound... if not romantic, somehow exotic.

"Diana?"

Mom hasn't sounded this nervous in a long time. I walk over to the bedroom and peek in the door. She's sitting on the bed.

"How do I look?"

I'm not sure what she wants me to say. The way she's done up her hair makes more of the gray show, and she went light on makeup. She's pretty, looks ten years younger than she is, and she's pretty lean from her crazy hours and weird diet. She looks vulnerable, though. I've never seen her look like this.

She pats the bed next to her. I slip into the room and sit down at her side.

"Are you okay? You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"Of course I am. This is all so surreal. When I'm with him everything makes perfect sense, but my G.o.d, I married a man I knew for less than five days and now I'm going to reaffirm it in front of all my friends."

I grab her hand. "You know, it's easy to get an annulment on these crazy Vegas marriages."

I have no idea if that's true or not, but it sounds right, right?

She shakes her head. "No, I'm just nervous, that's all. I know you don't approve of this."

"I'm not sure what I approve of. I mean, if he's like his son..."

She smiles, but it's a wan, sad smile. "Oh, he is."

Oh my G.o.d. I turn beet red, feel the flush creeping up my face.

She laughs. "You will always be my daughter. I wish we could be close again, like when you were younger. What happened to us?"

"I grew up and you didn't like it."

I blink a few times, and my eyes are wet. Oh, come on. Not now.

She puts her arms around me and I have to scrub at my eyes with my fingers and try to hold back the tears.

"I didn't want you to leave me. I'm so sorry. For so long you've been all I have. I don't know how you came to think the museum was more important to me, but I'm sorry. I hope we can find a way to mend it."

"So, are you going on a honeymoon?"

She pulls back. "No, I don't think so. We sort of did that already." She sniffs, and grabs a tissue to rub at her eyes. "I'll be happy when this is over. It's just nerves. I don't even know why I'm doing it."

"You want him to be part of your life. Um."

"Yes?"

I sigh. "Are we moving in with them? Are they moving in with us?"

"I don't know about Apollo. Steven will move in here. His son is a grown man. I would hope he would have the sense not to, given..."

I fold my hands in my lap and look at the floor.

"He's not the only fish in the sea, Diana. At least you didn't discover he was wrong for you five years from now, or longer."

"Yeah. I just..."

"Yes?"

My sigh turns into a sob. "What if he is right for me? It felt so right. I've never felt like that with anybody before."

"I thought you liked Lucas."

My head shoots up. "Mom, where did you get that ridiculous idea? Lucas is a he-wh.o.r.e and he's awful. I don't trust him to be alone with me, much less date him."

"Why didn't you tell me."

"I tried. You weren't listening."

She rests her forehead against the side of my head. "I know. I'm sorry, sweetie. My ears are open now. What are you trying to tell me?"

"I don't know."

She sighs, and stands up. "The guests will be arriving soon. We need to be presentable."

I nod. "I just need my shoes."

"You look beautiful. I should have told some of my friends to bring their sons. You'll have ten of them sniffing after you by the end of the night."

I snort. "I'm not in the mood. Maybe after I have some college credits under my belt."

"Don't wait too long. I know we haven't had a real talk about this, but as long as you're careful and use protection, there's nothing wrong with some... experimentation."

I just stare at her. She stands up, and I flee the room before she explains what she meant. Back in my own room, I finish getting ready, slip into my own shoes, and head downstairs to greet the guests. Bob is the first to arrive. He chats with Mom while the caterers set up. Antonio's is taking care of the food. For that, I am very happy. Unfortunately I can't touch it until this farce is over. I try not to look bitter. I want some of that gnocchi they're warming up in a chafing dish. One by one by two, more guests trickle in, and then about fifteen arrive at once.

The groom appears last.

My heart skips when I see Apollo. He gets out of the car and looks at me for the briefest second before turning away to open the door for his father, and my knees go weak. A look of genuine anguish crumples his face as he turns away from me. His father walks into the house, beaming, as my mother runs off to hide. I'm going to have to go get her in a moment. I do the greeting.

"h.e.l.lo, Diana," Apollo mutters, looking away from me.

"h.e.l.lo, Apollo."

When he thinks I'm not looking he stares at me, and I swear I see a tear threatening to form in his eye. He looks like he's going to his grave.

There is something wrong here.

He brightens up when it's time for me to go get Mom. She's pacing the dining room, and grins nervously when she sees me. I nod and take her arm, and we walk out into the living room.

For a moment this feels real, and right. All her friends are here. Bob is going to officiate. The living room has never felt so bright, so full. I find myself smiling. I walk up to Bob with her, and she stands next to the man she's already married. Vows are exchanged, they sound like something on TV. He puts a ring on her finger, and there's clapping. I join in. So does Apollo.

He's the only one not smiling. I start to frown too, then force myself to perk up when Mom turns to face me.

Please, don't hurt her. Not now. Please don't hurt my mother, I beg you.

From there it's a simple matter of going through the reception motions.

My unease grows by the instant. I watch this stranger dance with my mother to an Elvis CD playing on her old boombox.

Fools rush in, indeed.

I just need to get away from Apollo and get my mind off of all of this. Dinner first, then cake. That steamer tray full of gnocchi has my name all over it. Antonio's makes the best, the sauce thick with ricotta cheese and bits of sausage, all stewed together to perfection.

Then Apollo grabs my arm.

"We need to talk."

"No."

"Please. Diana please, just give me a few minutes. I'm begging you."

"Fine. Where?"