Through My Eyes Part 14

And when I was finished with my eligibility, Nancy Scarborough, Coach Meyer's a.s.sistant who is such a good friend-who I hung out with every day with Coach Meyer-called and said that I had a package there to pick up. Phil Mickelson remembered how bad my driver was when we played, so he sent me two drivers.

Coach was coming back to the University of Florida, but I was not. I was headed out into the unknown, again.

I was finished here, and like so many of the guys I was privileged to play with and the coaches who coached us, I did the best I could, trying to always finish strong.

Chapter Twenty-One.

The Draft, Denver, And An Eternal Direction.

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of G.o.d in Christ Jesus.

-PHILIPPIANS 3:1314.

I was finished with my college eligibility. I had also graduated with honors from the University of Florida with a bachelor's degree in family, youth, and community sciences. I don't think I could've squeezed many more experiences out of those years than I did.

By then I had selected an agent for the next phase in my life, a potential professional career in football-the NFL. Florida has a panel to help screen agents, and after interviewing a number of them, my family decided that Jimmy s.e.xton from Memphis, Tennessee, was the best fit for us.

Jimmy suggested that I attend the Senior Bowl in Mobile, Alabama, in late January, to work out for the NFL scouts who would be there en ma.s.se. Unfortunately, when I arrived in Mobile, I was coming down with strep throat. I pushed through the infection, not letting anyone know that I was sick. It wasn't easy-I felt terrible and didn't eat for two days-but I didn't want to skip anything. Jimmy, instead, began telling people that I was ill, which I hated because I didn't want to use an excuse. I did, however, actually have esophagitis, and I lost sixteen pounds that week.

He probably had to, because once again, as has happened every time I moved on to the next challenge, the critics were out in full force. And if I wasn't able to practice and play at my full speed and ability because of an illness, it would be much better for those evaluating my performance to know that any shortfall in performance wasn't the result of lack of effort but instead because of strep. Much like the writers who said that my style would never work in the SEC, now the prognosticators were saying that my throwing motion-thanks, Dad!-would never allow me to be successful in the NFL. My draft status was speculated to be anywhere from the first round to well down in the draft order.

At one point in Mobile, I was in my hotel room signing autographs, and my brothers were there with me, joking around and always helping to keep the atmosphere light and bring a little perspective to the moment. Suddenly, an ESPN commentator came on the television screen and opined, "Tim Tebow is probably the fifth or sixth best quarterback in the 2010 draft." I guess that's a step up-based on what Oklahoma said, I thought I was only fifth or sixth best in the Big 12. The room was instantly still and quiet, but I kept signing autographs. Robby noted that the commentator wasn't in charge of any club's draft and never had been. "You know how many guys he'll be choosing at the draft? Zero."

I didn't care. Really. I'd heard that before. I was already working as hard as I could; some comments by someone I didn't know weren't going to change my approach or how I saw myself. I kept signing, and then we went to the weight room for a workout.

Somewhere he is out there . . .

As Jimmy kept reminding me, we didn't need to convince all thirty-two teams to value me enough to pick me, only one. My Senior Bowl stay and performance was adequate and gave me a baseline from which I could improve. Adequate, though, has never been a measure I have aspired to reach, and so I was looking forward to improving in all the areas I needed to for the next level. Those improvements started immediately, as I began working out in Nashville at a facility called D1 Sports Training.

I ran, I threw, I lifted, and I did a variety of drills to improve my body. I also continued watching film and looked for ways to improve the mental part of my game. Anything I could do to make myself better, I did. I threw thousands of pa.s.ses of all distances, arcs, spin speeds, touches, and routes.

Even as we were thinking about what possibilities my next platform that G.o.d had in store might bring, another opportunity arose. In conjunction with Bill Heavener and Focus on the Family, we decided to create an advertis.e.m.e.nt to be played during the Super Bowl. We were very fortunate that Focus on the Family had donors step up to fund the ad.

Mom and I were the main actors in the ad and had a lot of fun shooting the commercial. But we didn't let the subject matter of the script get out, and as soon as word got out that we were doing an ad with Focus on the Family, it instantly created a huge swirl of attention-with both supporters and detractors trying to figure out what the ad was all about. It was fun to see the speculation on every front as to the message the ad would convey. Because of the story surrounding the circ.u.mstances of my birth, everybody on both sides of the issue immediately a.s.sumed that it was a pro-life message. So many columnists took me to task for something they a.s.sumed was going to be in the ad, but wasn't.

Ultimately, the ad was a celebration of life and about the importance of family, showing me and my mom laughing and just being together. At one point in the ad, I tackled my mom, and she popped back up and warned me to be careful-"You're not nearly as tough as I am." Considering that she raised five homeschooled kids, she was right.

People seemed to enjoy the ad, and it really captured my mom and me and our relations.h.i.+p perfectly. Fun, lighthearted, enjoying life together. Focus on the Family's website did contain a message about the circ.u.mstances of my birth, and they received a number of stories from people who altered their outlook on the issue based on my birth story. A survey by the Barna Group showed that five and a half million people indicated that they had cause to rethink their position on abortion. All in all, it was a great experience.

By late February, it was time for the NFL Combine, gathering together the projected top college football players, in Indianapolis, Indiana. The NFL teams, through their representatives and club scouts, take physical examinations; test your strength, speed, and agility; work you out in football drills; and interview you. I was pleased with my performance-I even had the fastest three-cone time of all the quarterbacks at the Combine and third or fourth-fastest overall, a test of quickness and agility.

And then after the Combine, back to my regimen-more lifting, more running, more throwing.

There were a ton of NFL folks at the Pro Day hosted by the University of Florida on March 17. That was understandable, because we had a lot of really good players who were entering the draft: Joe Haden, Brandon Spikes, Aaron Hernandez, Riley Cooper, David Nelson, and others. The scouts and coaches were also curious to see me and how I threw; I had chosen not to work on any pa.s.sing drills at the Combine because I wanted to continue working on my throwing motion.

Pro Day went well, I thought, but at the end of the day, the measure by which all quarterbacks are evaluated is winning and losing. Drew Brees is too short, they said. He's turned out to be a pretty good quarterback. Meanwhile, other guys with great mechanics couldn't lead. I just needed someone who believed in me and my abilities and who I was inside.

I didn't have to get every team to want to take me . . . just that one.

We stayed in Jacksonville for the NFL draft. I was invited by the NFL to attend the draft in New York, but given the relative uncertainty of the round in which I was going to be selected, as well as the desire to stay at home with family and friends who had watched and been a part of this long journey with me, I decided to stay back in Jacksonville.

We actually had a big party, with family and friends. Jeremy Schaap of ESPN was there, as was Scott Hanson of the NFL Network. Bryan Craun, our longtime friend, was gracious enough to host it at his home-watching the draft at his house had become an annual event for my brothers and me. It was the first time that we were listening for my name, however.

Jimmy predicted that Denver would take me somewhere toward the end of the first round. However, Denver used their first-round pick on a wide receiver near the end of the first round, so it didn't look like that would be the case.

In the meantime, the Draft had been going on for hours-pick after pick, name after name. The excitement was still there, but people were nervous and tired. Would I be taken that night, or would I have to wait for the second round the next day-or later?

The phone rang. I looked down and saw a 303 area code. Denver.

I turned to Jimmy. "It's from 303. Should I answer it?" I knew who it was, but I didn't let my expression give it away.

Jimmy almost fell out of the chair, scrambling to his feet. "It's Denver! Answer it! Answer it! It's them!"

We still laugh about that.

It was Josh McDaniels, the head coach of the Denver Broncos, who told me that they were trading picks to move back into the first round and were selecting me.

I've heard rumors that the Minnesota Vikings and Jacksonville Jaguars were also trying to trade up to take me. However, neither did, and I was a Denver Bronco.

A few days later, on Mother's Day, I spoke at a church in Memphis and shared briefly about my mother's refusal to abort me. After the service, a young woman waited to speak with me. "I have an abortion scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9 a.m.," she cried, "and now I will not go through with it."

Amazing what G.o.d does when we simply plant seeds.

I rented a house with my brothers in Denver and began spending as much time as I could there, partic.i.p.ating in every team activity. Robby helps handle my off-field activities and Peter's in graduate school there. Although I had hoped to compete for the starting job from the beginning, the coaches made it clear that they didn't want to rush it, but would rather allow me to get acclimated to the NFL. They had traded for Kyle Orton the prior season, and he was still the starter.

I started the Tim Tebow Foundation to carry on the work that we began with First and 15, to bring faith, hope, and love to those needing a brighter day in their darkest hour of need.

I kept working hard, learning as much as I could the best that I could. It's a challenge, being a backup in the NFL. You get very few repet.i.tions in practice during the week, but you need to be sharp and ready in case you play. As for me, I didn't play much at all for most of the year.

In our opening game, a loss to the Jaguars in Jacksonville, I rushed twice for two yards and didn't play again for five weeks. Then, against the New York Jets, I rushed six times for twenty-three yards, including my first NFL touchdown. The following week, I ran for another touchdown against the 49ers in a game that we played at Wembley Stadium in London. Two weeks later, I threw my first NFL touchdown pa.s.s and ran for another, against the Chiefs.

I was playing primarily in goal-line situations, and while I was pleased to be contributing, it was hard to watch from the sidelines while Kyle was quarterbacking. I hoped to have my role expand, of course. I don't know anyone who is successful who didn't believe that he could do something well if given a chance-I am no exception.

As the season progressed, we struggled to win games. After week 13 of the season, we were 39 (having already had our bye week), and Josh McDaniels was fired. His firing was distressing, in that Josh believed in me enough to draft me. It was also a strange situation once I arrived, because despite his belief, he didn't play me much. It's not like we were having such success that it would have been an unreasonable risk. But I also realized that the NFL is different, and Josh, the coaches, and management wanted to give me every opportunity to learn and grow to give me every likelihood of being successful. And so I continued to learn, work hard, and support Kyle and the team and, occasionally when I got in the game, do whatever I could do to help make us successful.

After Josh was let go, the uncertainty seemed to focus on me as much as on anyone. Speculation began immediately that I might not remain in Denver for long, because Coach McDaniels, my biggest supporter, was gone.

I didn't have time to focus on that. Instead, I dealt with the uncertainty the way that I've always tried to: I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future. That's what gives me hope and peace and is what I lean on, because each day is going to have enough trouble of its own. That's why we don't need to look to tomorrow; we need to worry about today and look to Him as He guides and directs our day. What can we do today that will have eternal consequences not only then but now; how can we affect people in a positive way today; what are the right decisions we can make today? I know that no matter what happens, there's a plan for it, and even though we don't always understand it all and why things happen the way they do, I know that one day it will all make sense as part of G.o.d's eternal plan for all of our lives. Even if it doesn't turn out the way that I hope, it will be disappointing but I'll be all right, because G.o.d never stops loving me, or you. And G.o.d will use every one of those things-some of which may seem good and some bad to you at the time-in His overall plan for your life and mine.

Just because something bad happens doesn't mean that He stopped caring about you or that He stopped being sovereign. Those things are simply part of His plan that we'll never understand here on earth, like trying to understand the Trinity-the truth of G.o.d's existing in three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I'm just never going to fully understand it. That's where faith comes in. It's not knowing about tomorrow, but it's knowing that I have a G.o.d who loves me and is going to keep me in His plans and safe in His hands through those coming days without my even knowing what's going to happen. It gives me great comfort to know that G.o.d is not only with me and carrying me when I need to be carried but, already waiting for me in my tomorrow. Now what is there for me to worry about with G.o.d already there to care and lay out His plan for me?

Sure, the emotions of the moment can weigh on me, but I try to quickly get myself refocused on the Lord. One way I do it is through prayer, and another way is by giving everything to the Lord. That's something my mom taught me when I was young, and she still says it to me today.

"Did you give your disappointments to the Lord?"

"Did you give your victories to the Lord?"

I've learned that even more important than the victories are the disappointments. So many times we can hold on to them and build a grudge and be frustrated at other people and at G.o.d, wondering why something happened, instead of giving it to the Lord.

I work as hard as I can but give the result, whatever it is, to the Lord, letting Him keep me humble in success and victory and lift me in disappointment or defeat.

I can't even remember how many times in high school Mom had to tell me to give my disappointments and losing to St. Augustine to the Lord. And also about losing to Alabama-to give it to the Lord. And about not starting at quarterback, giving that to the Lord. Just giving it to the Lord emotionally and spiritually and saying, "Lord, I know it's Your plan. I'm giving it to You, and You're going to handle this stress, because You're the one who is plowing the field, and You take this yoke from me. You're going to be the one pulling this yoke, and therefore I don't have any of the pressure. I'm just trying to live as best I can, but all the weight is on you."

Praying that prayer eases the burden, and that eases the pain of disappointment, heartache, and defeat we all face at times. Knowing that He has the plan for your life and also helps you in everything to give thanks, knowing it is all G.o.d's will in Christ Jesus. That's something else we heard a lot about as children, because all those bad things that happen to you, they happened for a reason. We might not always know what that reason is, but there is a plan. As compet.i.tive as I am and as mad as I can get on the football field and then with all those things that happen on and off the field, I still have to be able to give it to the Lord, even, and especially, all my disappointments. Because without giving it all to the Lord, I wouldn't have the same joy in my life or the same peace. I have had too many defeats and discouragements to not give them all to the Lord to be able to have a joyful life.

My parents have been a great nurturing mix for me. While my mom was helping me hand my disappointments to the Lord, my dad was always encouraging me, telling me, "You're going to be great. You are great. Just wait until they give you a chance."

Mom encouraged me, too, of course, and Dad also told us to wait upon the Lord. But in some ways, being who they naturally were, they made for a great pairing to raise us-optimistic and focused on G.o.d and His plan for our lives. All those things paid off, because they became ingrained in my heart and my life.

"You're going to be great, but give it all to the Lord."

Finally, in week 15, at the Oakland Raiders, I started my first NFL game. The plan had been for Eric Studesville, our interim head coach, to start me for the final two games, both home games, but Kyle had bruised his ribs the prior week and couldn't practice for the Oakland game, and so I started game 14 as well.

It was a challenge for all of us, because Kyle and I have very different styles, and the offense had been installed with his talents in mind. The coaches tried to tweak it in the game plan, but since they were monitoring his injury status, it still had many plays that were better suited for him.

I wanted to write a scripture verse somewhere for that game, but couldn't use my eye black because that was against NFL rules. Instead, I wrote it on my wristband, under my plays, and tweeted it that morning to my Twitter followers.

Given that we were playing in the Oakland Coliseum, which is known for its crazy, hostile crowds, the verse I chose seemed particularly appropriate: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

PSALM 23:4.

It was rainy and muddy. Fun football conditions.

In the first quarter, I made a mistake. On a third down and twenty-four play, they called for a "tailback draw," but instead I heard "quarterback draw." I don't know why-maybe my subconscious knew that I wanted to run the ball.

I held on to it and ran for a forty-yard touchdown. On the play, I stiff-armed their safety, Michael Huff, just before reaching the end zone, and the photos that resulted after the game were really cool, because "Psalm 23:4" was very clearly readable along my wrist. Later that quarter I threw a touchdown pa.s.s on a fantastic catch by Brandon Lloyd, and in so doing, I accomplished something that only two other players in NFL history had ever done: throw a touchdown pa.s.s of thirty or more yards and run for a touchdown of forty or more yards in the same game.

Unfortunately, we lost the game, dropping us to 311. I'd never been on a team with a losing record. Ever. It was tough and not anything that I want to experience again.

The next week we were facing the Houston Texans at home. Their quarterback, Matt Schaub, is very good, and we were looking forward to the challenge. The coaches had a week to prepare a game plan specifically for me, and we started off great. I was so excited to hear the Denver crowd react as we came onto the field for our first offensive possession. The cheers were so loud that I had to signal the crowd to quiet down so we could hear our snap count. That never happens at a home game.

We drove right down the field, with me completing my first two pa.s.sing attempts, until I misjudged the angle on a one-on-one situation that our receiver had in the end zone, and the pa.s.s was intercepted.

We didn't do anything else of note during the first half and went into the locker room at halftime trailing, 170. In the second half, we decided to open up the offense, attacking downfield more than we had in the first half. Early in the half, I hit Jabar Gaffney on a fifty-yard pa.s.s that led to our first touchdown. We exchanged field goals, and then they added another, closing out the third quarter down 2310.

Early in the fourth quarter, I threw a touchdown pa.s.s to Correll Buckhalter, and we trailed only 2317. We got the ball back and began driving.

We reached their six yard line, and the coaches called for a pop pa.s.s on second down and goal. It was a fake quarterback draw to the right, and our receiver, Eddie Royal, was supposed to fake like he was blocking and then release to the goalpost for the pa.s.s.

The coaches made it clear that the play could be run against any defense except Cover 1, which consists of man-to-man coverage on the outside with the free safety in the middle of the field. I looked out and could see that Houston was in a Cover 1 alignment-good call by them, but not good for us. I sent the running back into motion, who is supposed to go into motion to the left, giving us three receivers to the right and two to the left.

He went right instead. That resulted in four receivers to the right, with only one to the left. With the play clock running down, we had to snap it and improvise. I took the snap and faked the quarterback draw, then began backing up, buying time. I hoped that a defender would leave his man to come after me, giving me an open receiver to throw to. No one did, and instead, I was able to beat the left end to the outside; and because the defensive back covering Brandon Lloyd on that side of the field didn't turn around, I was able to slip into the end zone.

The fans were going crazy in the stands, and we were too. We kicked the extra point and led 2423. Minutes later Syd'Quan Thompson ended Houston's final drive by intercepting Schaub, and we had our fourth win of the season. In the process, I threw for over three hundred yards. All in all, it was a good day.

It was even more special because my entire family was there, including my nieces and nephew. Getting there was no small feat because the Atlanta airport closed, causing some to re-route, and Katie and Gannon to catch the last flight before it shut down. We had all planned on being together that week, because Christmas was the day before the game. Because I had to stay in the team hotel on Christmas, we actually celebrated two days after the game, on Tuesday the 28th.

A very merry Christmas for our family.

Our season finale was at home against the San Diego Chargers. My confidence was high, and it seemed that the coaches' and players' confidence in me had grown as well. I was particularly excited to face the Chargers, since Philip Rivers is widely recognized as one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL.

We didn't get off to a great start. A receiver dropped a long pa.s.s on our opening drive, and then I followed that up by throwing an interception on the next play. Even so, Brandon Lloyd and I connected on a touchdown in the first quarter, and we took an early 70 lead. However, by the third quarter, we trailed 237, and then 3314 midway through the fourth.

On the ensuing kickoff, Ca.s.sius Vaughn scored for us on a ninety-seven-yard return, and then with twenty-six seconds left, I scored on a run, bringing it to 3328.

We recovered the onside kick. The crowd was frantic, hoping for another miraculous finish. So were we. We ended up with two chances to win it. I threw two Hail Mary pa.s.ses into the end zone from our own forty-six yard line, but both were knocked down by the Chargers. We lost, but had fought to the very end.

It's not often that a 412 team gets cheered as it leaves the field for the final time for the season-on a loss, no less-but that's exactly what happened. I think they appreciated the heart that the team showed in the loss.

Afterword.

Just as it is written, "Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that G.o.d has prepared for those who love Him."

-1 CORINTHIANS 2:9.

The months since the end of the football season have been as busy and exciting as ever. In addition to preparing for the upcoming football season, I've been doing all I can to grow my Foundation, starting with the hiring of executive director Erik Dellenback. Although the Foundation is just getting underway, through the support of many generous people that donate through timtebowfoundation.org, we are already fulfilling the dreams of children with life threatening illnesses, partnering with deserving children's organizations throughout the U.S., and supporting over 600 orphans worldwide. There is no question that G.o.d has blessed me with a heart for children and I fully intend to spend my free time working to bring faith, hope and love to those in need.

As for football, the Broncos began their search for a new head coach, and though everyone seemed to want to talk about where I'd fit in with any new coach, I did my best to tune out all that chatter. If there's one thing I learned early on playing football, it was that I couldn't live my life if I was constantly concerned about what other people were saying about me. There have always been people saying that I couldn't do something, starting with that Mindanao doctor who said that I couldn't be born, but through it all, there's only been one voice that mattered. And I could hear Him loud and clear.

In the meantime, all I could do was tune out the white noise, keep working, and wait for the Broncos to make their decision. After speaking with a number of candidates, they hired John Fox, the former head coach of the Carolina Panthers. There were a number of candidates interviewed whom I would have been delighted to play for, and Coach Fox was one of them; I was pleased with the selection. When I was coming out of Florida, I had visited with Coach Fox on a number of occasions, but we both knew that there was a good chance I wouldn't be going to Carolina, since they didn't have a first-round pick, having traded theirs away. Even though we had to wait a year, we finally ended up together, and Coach Fox and I began working together this year.

His selection left me invigorated about the coming season and everything that it will bring. I've been working hard, training, pus.h.i.+ng myself, trying to build up and improve upon the base that I created during my first season in the NFL. In many ways, the things motivating me now are the same as they were back when I was playing Pop Warner. Even today I find myself thinking constantly about the person out there who could be working harder than I am. I push myself to be the best I can be, and I listen to the voice that tells me to keep going.

As I've said before, I don't know what my future holds, but I do know who holds my future. With that in mind, I'm pressing on toward the upward call of Christ Jesus, seeking to continue living in the way that always brings glory to Him.

I hope it's on the football field, at least for now. But I know that He knows my platform and holds my future in His hands, and it's up to me to use it as best I can wherever He has me planted. G.o.d's Word will not return void. Football has always been my pa.s.sion, and in one way or another, it always will be my pa.s.sion.

I simply pray that I will continue to have the humbling privilege to touch others and lift them up through His Word-all for His glory.

Acknowledgments.